New Things Are Just....Scary

Those things we consider "normal" in life are generally easy to deal with. Most of us don't fret about buying groceries, insurance or purchasing new vehicles. But each of the daily typically easy things can become a much larger question when dealing with it through caregiver's eyes. There are so many things to consider.

I am moving today and I am really nervous. There has to be so many more players in a move when there is someone who is not very mobile. It can be completely overwhelming! The bed, lift and any other rented equipment has to be moved by the company and so it is done by appointment. It's no big deal really, but it just makes something that is already complicated (moving) even more complicated! And that doesn't eve touch all the worries about how (or if) they will adjust to new surroundings!

These are the times some of the old hymns come to mind... It is Well With My Soul...Tis So Sweet to Trust in Jesus - just to take Him at His word...Blessed Assurance...Peace, Peace Wonderful Peace... Sometimes they just say it best! When all the craziness is going on today I will be humming away!

It's funny to me how easy it can be to get back into His peace. Like He's just holding it out there waiting for us to run into it. It only takes a second to remember that Jesus gave us His peace (not as the world gives)...and all we have to do is turn and face it...and it will embrace us! So take a minute today to embrace His peace - He will hug you back!

What About the Dreams?

None of us were born caregivers. For many it was a traumatic experience of some sort that thrust us into it. Others a slow decline in a loved one gradually led us into caregiving. But we really do have a past. Each of us has experiences and lives that were lived hopefully to the fullest before we began to take care of another. We had plans, hopes and dreams of more things we wanted to do with our lives. Caregiving puts a hold on at least most of that - if not all. Where do the dreams go from here?

This is something I find myself sorting through. I wanted to travel and see the world and be a missionary of sorts. I'd love to go to Africa and many other places. Teaching is my thing and I could see myself traveling the US and the world just loving people and caring...and sharing His love. But that's all gone for now.

What does God do with all those aspirations we had before? Were they from Him? Were they only fabrications of our imagination? (an imagination that is of course God-inspired)...is there still hope of a life?

I wonder if Abraham ever wondered just when God would fulfil His promise. He waited something like 25 years for Isaac. And then God wanted him to put that seed on the altar! ...and he did...we must do the same before the Lord. No matter what dreams or visions He gave us before caregiving...they must be put back into His hands. He will restore. But we must trust Him to bring about all the things He promised. IF we make it happen it just won't be the same and it won't be restoration. Today my meditation will be on how faithful He is to His promises. I will encourage myself in the truth that He won't change His mind, and He cannot lie. And I will wait for Him...will you wait with me?

A Door of Hope

Sometimes when we get lost in caregiving it seems as though we have lost our own dreams and hopes in the lives of those for whom we care. That's not a downer...it's just reality. It is difficult to plan anything because of all the great effort it requires. You have to ask others to come and stay with the one who is receiving care, plus show them all the things required for the day. It's usually the sigh I get before they say "yes" that I dread more than the answer itself.

It's interesting how we can do what we do 24/7 but somehow it's a serious inconvenience for another family member to take a Saturday morning so we can get a small break. And the sighs get heavier and more abundant when we need a couple days out! It can feel hopelessly heavy at times.

There's no doubt we love them; the one we are caring for. But sometimes it seems when tragedy or sickness dealt its blow not only were all their dreams shattered and sucked away into some huge vacuum - so were ours. In just one moment everything can change.

Hosea 2:15 says that He will make the valley of Achor as a door of hope. Achor means pain. How exactly He can do it is beyond me! But somehow He will turn the pain we experience into hope...and we will sing again. When I feel hopeless I remember that I am still breathing...then I take a big breath in and think...as long as I am breathing there is hope that He will bring more hope! As long as I am breathing I can trust that He will work all things for my good...because I love Him and trust Him. And as usual, He isn't sharing details! I must rest assured in the hope of His promises today.

Total Trust

Just about the time I get totally underneath the load of caregiving and feel I have totally lost my life...my Bible reading program takes me to Job! I cannot even imagine what it must have felt like to receive all that news all in one day. Totally overcome by grief in every area of life has got to be more than anyone can bear. Yet he fell to his knees and worshiped God. I cannot say that's always (or ever) been my initial response.

Then Job gets physically ill on top of all his losses. When his friends came to visit (now that's an idea) they didn't even recognize him and sat with him speechless for days. There's really nothing to be said in the time of intense calamity is there?

Job made a statement though that I have thought for a long time exhibits total trust. The faith-ers of the 70's gave Job a bum rap and said he lacked faith. However, I think the one phrase is full of more faith than I have seen anywhere in my lifetime. Job said, though God slay me - yet I will trust Him. It seems so contrary to faith to think that God would indeed slay us - wipe us out -- you know? But Job said pretty much no matter what God does - I will trust Him in and through it all!

I don't even hope to come close to that kind of faith. I have whined, cried, fussed and even feuded with God during my ordeal. However, I can always come back to the basics. He is God, and I am not. For the Christian there really is no other choice but to trust Him with whatever is allowed. That's not an easy thing to work through - however, once the choice is made, I can feel Him helping me carry the load. So let's trust Him together today with whatever life brings!

When We Are Tired...

Ever have one of those days where you just wake up tired? Caregivers don't always have the option of getting a day to "sleep in." And many of us don't get a full night's sleep...ever! Top that off with all the transfers and physical moving we have to do and you can have a tired, sore body upon waking in the morning. And what do we do about it? We just go about another day! That's because there is no other option. Caregivers can't decide to just take Saturday off because it's the weekend. Many of us know nothing different about any day they are all the same to us!

So what do you do when you are tired? I know, you suck it up and push through the day anyway! Our loved ones have to be cared for whether we are tired, weary, have a cold or virus - those things do not change their daily needs! So we keep going.

There are different kinds of tired. Of course I am speaking here of being physically tired. We know that there is also en emotional tired, mental tired, and even a spiritual side of tiredness. Physically, emotionally and mentally tired can be helped out by increasing our spiritual strength. Maybe that means taking an extra 5 or 10 minutes if you have it to spend with Him. Perhaps you can put on some praise music in the background today.

In 1 Samuel 30 David returned from battle to find that the enemy had come into Ziklag and wiped them out! The soldiers took all their possessions and even their wives and children. On top of that worry all the people with him were talking about stoning him because they blamed him! Verse 6 says he was greatly distressed! But at the end of the verse it says that David encouraged himself in the Lord. Look, let's face it - if we sit around and wait for someone to come by to encourage us... well let's say we may just as well get used to being even more tired! lol!

Today encourage yourself in the Lord. Post some sticky notes around of scriptures that will help to put His strength in your heart and mind. Put them on the bathroom mirror, on the fridge, by the computer. Post a few around and change them out every few days to help keep them fresh. Here are two or three to start with -- be encouraged!!

That He would grant you according to the riches of His glory
to be strengthened with power through His Spirit in the inner man...
Ephesians 3:16

And the peace of God which surpasses all understanding
will keep(guard)  your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus
Philippians 4:7

For we have this (His) treasure in earthen vessels
so that the surpassing greatness of the power will be of God
and not from ourselves
2 Corinthians 4:7

Good Days N Bad Days

Life is made up of a series of good and bad days. Without either one it would be one boring journey. Think about your life if every day offered exactly the same emotions, feelings and happenings as the last. There was a movie about one day repeating itself over and over one time!

It's no different for the caregiver. Each day brings events that may range all the way from exhilarating to depressing. The irony of it is that we have to deal with that whole range of emotions, sometimes all in one day, while still fulfilling our roles as caregivers!

Our favorite Bible characters were no different. The Bible doesn't contain stories of super human people, some more progressive race of people. It is all about people just like you and me who dealt with their everyday lives just like we do today. But it tells us of how many of them stood through life as they endured their series of good and bad days.

I don't think Gideon was thinking about how good of a day he was having while having to hide to thrash wheat to provide for his family. David didn't seem to be having all good days while he was running from cave to cave hiding from Saul. We have to remember that God spared the three Hebrew children in the fire  not from it! Daniel did get thrown in the lion's den not kept out of it.

Our Bible heroes went through  something - or there would be no story to tell. The marvel isn't that they were spared hardship but rather that the stood in the midst of the trial. I'm not sure my story would be as faith-filled as theirs, but I do want the end to be that I stood through the storm rather than bending beneath the load. Today, remind yourself of your favorite Bible story and character. Think about what they went through that makes their story of faith so intriguing. Rest in the arms of the same God who carried them through as you realize He will carry you through (not always around) just as well as He carried them.

It's In the Bible?

Sometimes as caregivers emotions can just run away with us. At least mine can! There are so many decisions that have to be made all on someone else's behalf. And for me that means no feedback. That can send my emotions into this turmoil and I can't seem to get it back. (that's when I need chocolate!)

When life gets tumultuous I usually run straight to the Psalms. So this morning I opened to Psalm 77.It is a familiar one. Asaph, the psalmist, is making his prayer to the Lord. In the end of verse 2 Asaph says my soul refused to be comforted.  Have you ever felt that way?

But it's the next verse that caught my attention When I remember God I am disturbed...disturbed? I am sure that blows some big theological thinking up somewhere! Aren't we supposed to feel peace when we think of God? But here Asaph is totally disturbed...wondering where God is, does God hear, and does He still care. And it's right here in the Bible!

In verse 7 Asaph is wondering if God even remembers him...verse 9 wondering if God is still gracious. Is that thought allowed? We tend to forget that the writers of the Bible were human...real flesh and blood containing real emotions that go along with life.

Verses 10-11 have been a mainstay in my life for years now. Verse 10 Asaph is wondering if God's hand has changed toward him.. but verse 11 he makes a decision. I will remember the works of the Lord. During troubling times, when we cannot see God doing something right here and now...just begin to recall all He has done.

I have found this process to be quite the load-lifter! Maybe I do not see God acting on my behalf, maybe it seems like He doesn't hear, perhaps it seems like He moved far away. That's when I chose to remind myself of the times that I know He has acted and moved in my behalf before...

Today's load may not change dramatically, but it will seem lighter when we remember the other times that He has carried us through.

The Chase

  This morning, I was reading about Benaiah in 2 Samuel 23. He was one of David's mighty men, and these three or so verses are all we kn...