Early in the mornings I go in and feed my son through his peg tube, change him and get him comfortable. Shortly after that he usually goes off into a deep sleep; a restful sleep. I checked on him just before starting to write this morning and he was out! I thought, he's getting good, restful sleep...healing rest. I figure that when he is sleeping real good and letting his mind and body rest that he is healing. We know rest and healing are connected.
What does that mean to the caregiver? Because as a caregiver, we have pain every day. It never real goes away because we are dealing with a stressful, painful situation all the time; so it hurts all the time. We see our loved one not able to function fully on their own and to need help with simple, daily living skills. They are not who they were and in my case I grieve a lot over the loss of my son - even though he is still here. Yet he's not still here - not like he was. And as we walk out each day, each step along the way can be filled with pain.
So as I watched my son sleeping (parents never tire of watching their kids sleep do they?) and was thinking about how rest brings healing, I though about the times I can press through the pain and truly find rest in Him. Those are the times He can heal our broken hearts...but only when we can quiet our souls and minds (sometimes it's more difficult to quiet the soul than the mind...) and truly rest in Him can we find the healing we need. And we must do it every day. Because we hurt every day - and we need His touch every single day.
So find a moment today somewhere, somehow...to rest your soul in His. Let Him wipe away the moment's pain...it will return...but He can handle it! Keep resting in Him....
Expectations
Things do not always work out as we expect them to. Seriously, who ever planned on being a full time caregiver to a loved one? We obviously had much different expectations for our lives. Perhaps we expected to travel the world (my own personal one...), or get married again (NOT on my list), lose ourselves in an enjoyable career, or serve in a local community or church. No matter where we thought we were going with life, I think it is a safe assumption that it has not turned out like we expected.
This morning I was reading in Hebrews again (I haven't strayed too far away from it yet), and read this verse in chapter 8.(NLT) When I took them by the hand and led them out of the land of Egypt. In context, God is speaking of the Children of Israel and how He rescued them out of Egypt's cruel slavery. But as He took them out of Egypt the first thing they ran into was a road block that looked like the Red Sea. I really do not think that this is what they expected to happen as He was rescuing them from Egypt...do you?
Here they are sandwiched nicely between the Red Sea in front of them, and Pharaoh's army pressing in from behind. Do you think this was what they were expecting? Did it look like a great rescue from there I wonder? And we haven't even mentioned that He led them from Egypt to the wilderness! They had to scratch their heads much of the time and wonder what God was up to and where had His promises gone...
I know as a caregiver I have has similar thoughts as where I am does not look like the expectations I had for this phase of my life. This can be very disappointing - just like the Children of Israel may have been disappointed to see the many miles of wilderness stretch out before them when they were expecting a promised land.
But I am thinking that when God was getting ready to do something big He always provided a wilderness first. He spoke to Moses in the wilderness when He sent Him to get His people. Ezekiel it seems was always dragged off to the wilderness to hear God's voice; and Jesus went to the wilderness to fast and be tempted before He came out with His public ministry...So I am thinking...maybe we are not in as bad of a place as we thought...today I will purpose to hear from Him in my wilderness...how will you spend your wilderness today caregivers?
This morning I was reading in Hebrews again (I haven't strayed too far away from it yet), and read this verse in chapter 8.(NLT) When I took them by the hand and led them out of the land of Egypt. In context, God is speaking of the Children of Israel and how He rescued them out of Egypt's cruel slavery. But as He took them out of Egypt the first thing they ran into was a road block that looked like the Red Sea. I really do not think that this is what they expected to happen as He was rescuing them from Egypt...do you?
Here they are sandwiched nicely between the Red Sea in front of them, and Pharaoh's army pressing in from behind. Do you think this was what they were expecting? Did it look like a great rescue from there I wonder? And we haven't even mentioned that He led them from Egypt to the wilderness! They had to scratch their heads much of the time and wonder what God was up to and where had His promises gone...
I know as a caregiver I have has similar thoughts as where I am does not look like the expectations I had for this phase of my life. This can be very disappointing - just like the Children of Israel may have been disappointed to see the many miles of wilderness stretch out before them when they were expecting a promised land.
But I am thinking that when God was getting ready to do something big He always provided a wilderness first. He spoke to Moses in the wilderness when He sent Him to get His people. Ezekiel it seems was always dragged off to the wilderness to hear God's voice; and Jesus went to the wilderness to fast and be tempted before He came out with His public ministry...So I am thinking...maybe we are not in as bad of a place as we thought...today I will purpose to hear from Him in my wilderness...how will you spend your wilderness today caregivers?
Not Far Away
I have stumbled over this scripture now for the last two days. I was reading in Hebrews yesterday and it caught my attention. Then this morning when I got my coffee and opened my Bible it just fell open to the same scripture in Jeremiah. Which one am I talking about? The one that says this:
For this is the covenant that I will make with the house of Israel...
I will put My laws into their minds
and I will write them on their hearts
And I will be their God
and they shall be My people...
Hebrews 8:10 is a direct quote from Jeremiah 31:33. I figured since I kept stumbling across it I should camp there a little bit and meditate. So I did. And in my meditations I realized that if He wrote His word in us - planted it there if you will, we only have to yield to it. How do I do that? Stop. Seriously, all we have to do is stop our heads from running around in circles, get a grip and listen to Him. Be still and know that I am God comes to mind as does The word of God is nigh thee even in your mouth and heart...
My conclusion then? He is never far away. No matter how I am feeling on any given day. And it only takes a few minutes to open the word and refresh what He's put inside of us. And really another comforting thing to me is that my loved one though not really who he was - has the word written on his heart as well, he is a believer...and still is. It was not the spirit of the one we care for that was damaged - it's their body. God's word is still written on their heart...and will always be. Not sure how - but I find this a comforting thought.
In Everything Give Thanks
This scripture is found in 1 Thessalonians5:18, someone through it out as a cliche this week so I looked it up. And can I be totally honest and say I really do not want to? And I really just can't. I cannot thank Him for the wreck my son was in that has left him impaired. I honestly, just can't do it. And the worse part is I don't care that I can't do it!
But the other side of that is I don't think He requires me to give thanks for the injury, the damage or my son's condition that thrust me into caregiving. However, I do believe that there is a silent power that arises when we purposefully find things to be thankful for rather than gripe about. It's an attitude of thanksgiving that He's looking for...because to literally thank Him for the horrible things in life would (for me) be a lie. And I think He looks more toward an honest heart than for one who is lying just trying to make HIm happy. I really think our honesty with Him is a way to display our trust.
Did you ever see the old classic movie Pollyanna? I am actually old enough that I read the book first! lol! Although it was just a story, this child made a conscious decision to play the glad game. And no matter what was terrible around her she found something to be glad about. I think we can make that kind of attitudinal adjustment even in our adverse situations.
We are stressed, we're tired, we're strained...but we can make that conscious decision to thank Him for something. I am finding that to be thankful helps my whole outlook. The day is not as dreary when I go through it thanking Him for things rather than fussing about all that went wrong! So today - Thank Him!! (for something!!)
But the other side of that is I don't think He requires me to give thanks for the injury, the damage or my son's condition that thrust me into caregiving. However, I do believe that there is a silent power that arises when we purposefully find things to be thankful for rather than gripe about. It's an attitude of thanksgiving that He's looking for...because to literally thank Him for the horrible things in life would (for me) be a lie. And I think He looks more toward an honest heart than for one who is lying just trying to make HIm happy. I really think our honesty with Him is a way to display our trust.
Did you ever see the old classic movie Pollyanna? I am actually old enough that I read the book first! lol! Although it was just a story, this child made a conscious decision to play the glad game. And no matter what was terrible around her she found something to be glad about. I think we can make that kind of attitudinal adjustment even in our adverse situations.
We are stressed, we're tired, we're strained...but we can make that conscious decision to thank Him for something. I am finding that to be thankful helps my whole outlook. The day is not as dreary when I go through it thanking Him for things rather than fussing about all that went wrong! So today - Thank Him!! (for something!!)
Separation Anxiety
Sometimes there is this huge mental struggle because religion is so works oriented. Maybe it's just me, but there are times I struggle with if He loves me enough...It sounds wrong I know. But we can read through the gospels and see all the miracles Jesus did for others..maybe I'm the only one who wonders why He doesn't come riding in on His white horse for me.
Even the Old Testament is full of various displays of His miraculous powers. Yet my loved one still suffers. And I cannot help but wonder if He loved others more...But then (my busy mind) immediately jumps to what I would do if He miraculously healed my son. How would I explain to someone else that He loves them as much?
All this crazy thinking lead me straight to Romans 8. It's a long time favorite isn't it? We quickly quote that nothing can separate us from His love. But sometimes during tribulation it's easy to wonder...But a quick look at Paul's discussion is quite revealing. We can grab the concept in verses 38 and 39. It's easy to figure out that no substance, no creation, no power and no position can separate us from His love. Got it!
But did we skip verse 35 in our analysis? Verses 38-39 are in answer to the question Paul asked back up in verse 35...Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Then his list of things that may seem to be able to cause a chasm between us and God's love looks like this: tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril or sword...The caregiver certainly has a good understanding of tribulation and distress as it was some form of distress that launched us into the position of caring for a loved one.
Now verse 37 makes more sense - in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. Notice it's in the unpleasant circumstance - not over, around, under or any type of avoidance here...but right there in the circumstance His love is there with us to carry us and to keep our souls. Our souls cannot be harmed in any circumstance because that's the part of us that He protects...and loves. Let us take time today to rest in His love for us...for it is unwavering in the face of great trials and tribulations.
Even the Old Testament is full of various displays of His miraculous powers. Yet my loved one still suffers. And I cannot help but wonder if He loved others more...But then (my busy mind) immediately jumps to what I would do if He miraculously healed my son. How would I explain to someone else that He loves them as much?
All this crazy thinking lead me straight to Romans 8. It's a long time favorite isn't it? We quickly quote that nothing can separate us from His love. But sometimes during tribulation it's easy to wonder...But a quick look at Paul's discussion is quite revealing. We can grab the concept in verses 38 and 39. It's easy to figure out that no substance, no creation, no power and no position can separate us from His love. Got it!
But did we skip verse 35 in our analysis? Verses 38-39 are in answer to the question Paul asked back up in verse 35...Who can separate us from the love of Christ? Then his list of things that may seem to be able to cause a chasm between us and God's love looks like this: tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, peril or sword...The caregiver certainly has a good understanding of tribulation and distress as it was some form of distress that launched us into the position of caring for a loved one.
Now verse 37 makes more sense - in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. Notice it's in the unpleasant circumstance - not over, around, under or any type of avoidance here...but right there in the circumstance His love is there with us to carry us and to keep our souls. Our souls cannot be harmed in any circumstance because that's the part of us that He protects...and loves. Let us take time today to rest in His love for us...for it is unwavering in the face of great trials and tribulations.
Streams in the Desert
Overall the life of a caregiver can be stressful; and that's summing it up mildly. We can have so many variables in just one day that it would be wrong to say it's anywhere close to normal. And really for each caregiver the situational demands are so varied there's no way to compare those either. And just like normal people we have good days and bad days...I am pretty sure that's just a given with life! lol!
And for those of you who are not caregivers, just remember that on top of the transfers, feeding tubes, incontinence issues, bathing, physical therapy and a wide variety of other tasks that must be done in a day - we still have those normal things too - dishes, laundry, cleaning the house and keeping up the yard!
But there are those times during the stress and stain of a common day - that He steps in. I am not sure there's a way to explain it; but the peace that comes in those moments where we are so aware of Him carrying us through..well, it's simply indescribable. One scripture that gets close is in Isaiah 43. In verses 19 and 20 He says this: I will make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.
These two things are so refreshing. I really like the road in the wilderness because it indicates a couple of things one there is movement - and we are going somewhere! Our lives can so feel at a standstill sometimes, but if there's a roadway in this wilderness there has to be somewhere to go! This is not the end-all! And who ever heard of a river in a desert? That speaks of sustenance as well as refreshing. It's God sending the extraordinary into a dry situation to bring change.
Even though it can feel like we are living in a standstill - God is on the move. He will bring us the refreshing - as we wait on Him.
And for those of you who are not caregivers, just remember that on top of the transfers, feeding tubes, incontinence issues, bathing, physical therapy and a wide variety of other tasks that must be done in a day - we still have those normal things too - dishes, laundry, cleaning the house and keeping up the yard!
But there are those times during the stress and stain of a common day - that He steps in. I am not sure there's a way to explain it; but the peace that comes in those moments where we are so aware of Him carrying us through..well, it's simply indescribable. One scripture that gets close is in Isaiah 43. In verses 19 and 20 He says this: I will make a roadway in the wilderness, rivers in the desert.
These two things are so refreshing. I really like the road in the wilderness because it indicates a couple of things one there is movement - and we are going somewhere! Our lives can so feel at a standstill sometimes, but if there's a roadway in this wilderness there has to be somewhere to go! This is not the end-all! And who ever heard of a river in a desert? That speaks of sustenance as well as refreshing. It's God sending the extraordinary into a dry situation to bring change.
Even though it can feel like we are living in a standstill - God is on the move. He will bring us the refreshing - as we wait on Him.
Bad News Bears
Did you ever read a scripture and find it upsetting instead of comforting? I do sometimes but given enough time I can work back through to peace! lol!
I was reading through Psalm 112 this morning and came across a frustrating verse; actually, two of them in the same psalm! Verse 4 and 6 stuck out to me and my first response was to whine. (I know I am the only one who ever does that!) Actually verse7 caught my eye first: They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them. My first thought was I got bad news...that's how I became a caregiver.
But after I read through the entire psalm a time or two my thinking finally balanced out somewhat. First of all, it does not say they won't ever get bad news...but that there is no fear in the bad news. And that is followed up by the act of confidently trusting the Lord...even after bad news. It's a matter of trusting Him through whatever life may bring...not avoiding anything we perceive as bad.
Then verse 4 says:When darkness overtakes the godly, light will come bursting in. My first thought here was is that possible? For darkness to over take the godly? Not the sinner, nor the unbeliever but the godly. I found that an interesting statement. Being godly and walking righteously before God does not exempt us from life's situations, trials, or troubles. But the promise is that even when we are overtaken by circumstance and cannot see - His light will come bursting in! I think I like that AND I will watch for His light to break up the darkness that pursues.
It's all about trust isn't it?
I was reading through Psalm 112 this morning and came across a frustrating verse; actually, two of them in the same psalm! Verse 4 and 6 stuck out to me and my first response was to whine. (I know I am the only one who ever does that!) Actually verse7 caught my eye first: They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them. My first thought was I got bad news...that's how I became a caregiver.
But after I read through the entire psalm a time or two my thinking finally balanced out somewhat. First of all, it does not say they won't ever get bad news...but that there is no fear in the bad news. And that is followed up by the act of confidently trusting the Lord...even after bad news. It's a matter of trusting Him through whatever life may bring...not avoiding anything we perceive as bad.
Then verse 4 says:When darkness overtakes the godly, light will come bursting in. My first thought here was is that possible? For darkness to over take the godly? Not the sinner, nor the unbeliever but the godly. I found that an interesting statement. Being godly and walking righteously before God does not exempt us from life's situations, trials, or troubles. But the promise is that even when we are overtaken by circumstance and cannot see - His light will come bursting in! I think I like that AND I will watch for His light to break up the darkness that pursues.
It's all about trust isn't it?
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