You Want Me to Wait Quietly?

Back in my real ministry days I did a lot of teaching on waiting on God. As a worship leader I learned that I needed those quiet times to develop intimacy with Him. This morning I was looking at Psalm 62 which starts out with I wait quietly before God, for my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.(Pslam 62:1,2 NLT) In verses 5 and 6, David repeats almost the same thing except he says,  I wait quietly before God for my hope is in Him. I took some time to meditate on this.

Life sometimes throws us a curve and many times, for me it can seem that it disrupted what I was doing! My head can get very busy and move so fast through so many thoughts that sometimes I wonder if I have lost the capacity to be quiet before Him. But David seemed to be in a life or death situation as he penned this particular psalm and he made it a point to quiet himself before the One who could give hope and salvation.

Today, I purpose to quiet myself before the God of my salvation, my hope, fortress and strength. I will purposefully stop the chaos of my day to meditate on His goodness - this means that I cannot let my situation be overwhelming to me or the focus of my thoughts. If my situation has all of my thoughts and energy then I can lose hope, and strength can fail. So I will turn my thoughts back to Him today and allow Him to give me hope no matter how bleak the situation may seem.

Will you join me today in quietly waiting for Him?

His Children

As I sat down with my coffee this morning to read for a bit, my Bible fell open to 1John 3. I read through several verses of the chapter but my attention kept going back to the first couple of verses. Isn't it amazing how God loves us and allows us to be called His children? (NLT) The first verse or two talks about how we are His children and perhaps the rest of the world has a difficult time understanding that we can be called the sons of God. (1John 3:1-3)

Of course being the son of a king comes with great responsibility as we see in verse 3. We must keep ourselves pure just like Christ is pure. Just because our lives took a sometimes sharp turn into caregiving does not mean that we are relieved of this responsibility. We still serve Him and we are still His children. Meditating on being His child made me think about another scripture that is in Isaiah.

Isaiah 49:15 asks if a mother could forget her nursing child. It's interesting that the prophet used the analogy of a nursing child because any woman will tell you that it can be painful to abruptly stop nursing. The pain would remind you of the child and there would be no way to not remember that you had a child! Then he goes on to say - even if that were possible,I would not forget you! What a comforting thought it was to me to remember that I am His child and He will not forget me!

Today I will meditate on what it means to be a child of God...and I will rejoice in the truth that He has not forgotten me, and will not forget me...but He continues to walk this rocky road with me!

Now This is Good News

I'm not sure about anyone else, but I have loads of questions on a daily basis. Caregiving was not what I was planning to do with my latter years. I had other things in mind like traveling the world. If I am not careful I can get all bogged down in what could have been and then I cannot adequately deal with the day. But today I stumbled across a scripture as I was reading and it really hit me that even if life doesn't look like I thought it was supposed to...it does not mean it's all messed up. That was good news for my mind and heart this morning.

Romans was written by the apostle Paul to the Romans. What's significant about that is that he was writing on purpose to the Gentile population. He was writing to encourage them in this new walk of faith that they had embraced. In verse 16 of the first chapter he begins to tell them that he isn't ashamed of the gospel of Christ; that it is the power of God for those who believe. And then verse 17 was what grabbed my attention this morning: This Good News tells us how God makes us right in His sight. This is accomplished from start to finish by faith. (NLT)

Even if life does not go as planned and it does not look perfect - we do not lose our right standing  (righteousness) with God. Through faith He carries us and keeps us in right standing with Him. Even in all my whining, griping and thousands of questions a day - He keeps me in right standing with Him. Now that's some good news! Our righteousness is not disrupted by the rough days or the smooth days that life throws at us. We just have to keep trusting in Him!

Today my meditation will be on the righteousness He has provided for me to walk in.

The Peace of Integrity

I'm still reading Job and really enjoying it. One thing that is standing out in my mind is how his friends keep arguing that there is some sort of flaw in Job or he would not be in this terrible situation. I guess it stands out to me so much because I had people say these same types of things to me when I was very ill in 1986. (It's a long story I'll try to write somewhere else - but obviously I lived!) Job's "friends" attack his character each time they speak because they were trying to analyze it according to their own religious dogma. Yet all the way through Job maintains that he has not sinned to cause all the tragedy to come upon him. Isn't that among some of our first thoughts after a tragedy strikes and we try to settle into a new normal?

In Job 13:15 Job makes one of the most faith-filled statements that is contained in scriptures. He states that even if God slays him - he will still trust Him. Some versions say still hope in Him.  While this is a powerful viewpoint on life and Job is making the declaration that no matter what happens to him while journeying through life he will continue to trust and hope in God - the next statement is what caught my heart today.

In the last phrase of this verse, Job says Nevertheless, I will argue my ways before Him. He was not going to back down on the fact that he had integrity with himself and God. I think he trusted God enough to know that if he had done something wrong the Lord would have informed him of such.  David made a similar statement in Psalm 101:2  when he said I will live a life of integrity in my own home. How powerful is it to know that we have integrity with ourselves? Plus we know that we are pleasing Him in our actions.

I'll be the first to admit that I cannot say I am blameless...there are those days that I lose it. Aides don't show up, supplies are delayed, doctors do not return calls...I get frustrated. Don't we all? My peace is not found in my actions always being the purest...but in the fact that after I punch the punching bag a few times, run a couple of miles and mutter a couple of curse words...I do finally run to Him! And you know what? He's always right there - even when I am not "perfect"!

Today I will meditate on His ever abiding presence - even when I am frustrated. I will learn to turn to Him sooner when things get out of hand. And I will commit to having integrity in my own home.

Some Kind of Warrior

David was a warrior who faced many battles. The warrior side of him is seen even when he was a youth and went out to face Goliath who was many times his own size. In 1 Samuel 17:28, it says that even after Goliath's lofty threats, David ran out to meet him. David would face many battles after that monumental day. But there would also come a day when he would have to encourage himself in the Lord.

Sometimes it can seem like the caregiver's day is one battle after another; and like David, we must many times encourage ourselves in the Lord. It takes some kind of warrior to do that, don't you think? I know - most caregivers are not going to think of themselves as warriors! Our M.O. is more along the lines of well, we just do what we do. While that is true and we feel like we just put one foot in front of the other most of the time...we are doing much more than that. Let me explain.

As a caregiver I have battled depression and that is not uncommon for us. But how many times have you thought for sure that you were down for the count...when all of a sudden out of nowhere came encouragement? Maybe a phone call from a friend, a brief email or even a facebook status just said the right thing. Instead of being down for the count you felt yourself (almost involuntarily) pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps like the ole timer's used to say! That's because you are some kind of warrior! And because your heart is in what you are doing for your loved one as well as your heart being hidden in His - it's inevitable that you will eventually win out.

I've never thought of Job as an encouraging book but lately I have been reading it and finding great encouragement (may write a study guide for it later lol!). In Job 6:10 he said this to his "friends" but it is still my consolation, and I rejoice in unsparing pain that I have not denied the words of the Holy One. Job was a warrior just like you! Even in the midst of the pain and grief that can be an everyday thing, the heavy load many caregivers carry alone and the dark night of the soul...we continue to press on through the unsparing pain to hold on to His words. That's some kind of warrior!

Today I will meditate on the truth that He gives me the strength for the battle. I'll think about how David ran into battle with Goliath...and how he encouraged himself in the Lord. I will also think about what makes me a warrior...will you join me in holding on to His word for one more day?

Still Here

This week I decided to return to Job. It may sound odd to those most familiar with his story, but I was actually looking for some comfort. While his friends did not offer him much comfort or hope, my thinking was that by reading some of the things Job said I could gain a better perspective and find peace in dealing with the situation. So far, I haven't got past chapter 1. I hope we can take this journey through the book of Job together.

The first thing that caught my attention was that Job was blameless, a man of integrity, and he stayed away from evil. (You do know that Job wrote the book, right? *smile*) The second thing that caught my attention was further down when Satan confronted God about Job. He said that God protected Job, his family and all of his possessions from harm. He suggested that if Job lost everything, he would curse God to His face.

This is where I stopped for some inner reflections. As a caregiver, nothing is easy. Everything in our worlds have likely changed; and for me it has literally been everything. I have to look at myself and measure my own integrity - or lack of integrity. I certainly cannot honestly say that I have always said real pleasant things to God during this trial of faith; and I cannot say I have always had faith. But I can say that I have not cursed God or walked away from Him because of the tragedy, losses, or pain.

Losing everything is interesting because only then can you find out what you are truly holding on to. Only in the deepest trials of life do we find where our hope lies. Life doesn't lie. Instead, it reveals where our trust is, where our hope is and how we choose to make it through the dark night of the soul. We are still around. We are still seeking God; and He is still our provider and the keeper of our souls. Will I ever measure up to the patience or integrity of Job, not likely! lol. But I can say that even with a life of loss He is still my God!

Think about perspective today. Are we cursing Him for the storm? Or are we thankful He has chosen to walk through it with us? Let's be thankful today that He is still an ever-present God!

The God Who Sees

It is difficult to understand the life of caregiving unless you are a caregiver. And even then, each situation is so very unique we do not always have the capacity to understand each others' situations. Sometimes it hurts most when those we think are supposed to care do not seem to. That can be family, friends or health care professionals. It's really frustrating when they don't get it. You know?

Sometimes one of the most frustrating things about caregiving is the inability to have a schedule. We can keep a shell of one, but it seems there's always something that comes along to disrupt it. Our loved one has a bad day, aides don't show up, nurses decide to come during the only time you were going to have to yourself for the week....yes that really happened! And the load becomes heavier...not even because of the caregiving itself, but because of all the baggage that comes along with caregiving.

This morning has been one of those mornings for me; made up of those situations that make the regular load just a little bit heavier. But my mind went to Hagar. She's not usually one of our favorites by any means even though the situation was not totally her fault. In Genesis 16 she bears some of the blame since she was taunting Sarah. I suppose I found it comforting that God met her where she was even though she was not perfect. Most of us did nothing wrong to end up in a caregiving situation, so I guess it makes the possibility of God seeking us out more likely! lol.

Hagar was distraught and had run away from her mistress who was treating her harshly.  She was pregnant (thank God that's not a factor!), being treated badly because she mouthed off, and was stuck out in the desert with no one to see after her. But God found her. It's not the encounter I want to focus on though, it's what she said afterwards. In Genesis 16:13 Hagar said, the God Who sees me."  She existed to God and that mattered.

Today I will meditate on the fact that I am not out here alone. That God does indeed see me; that will carry me through this day. He sees me...

The Chase

  This morning, I was reading about Benaiah in 2 Samuel 23. He was one of David's mighty men, and these three or so verses are all we kn...