What if I Break?

As I type this, I’m sitting in the hospital ER with my aunt. Unexpected disruptions are common occurrences and just part of the caregiving journey. It can certainly seem like just about the time you feel you can handle it and at least the most pressing is under control... something topples it all over and you’re pressing to get a Pandora’s box closed and everything re-contained. Sometimes we learn how to roll with the everyday punches and adapt. Other times, it’s not so easy. Sometimes I wonder if I will break.

What if I do? What I’d I don’t?

As is my custom, I turn to the Word for an answer to my question. Funny how He never disappoints. Since I’m using my phone (which btw is difficult for old ladies), I do a quick search for “shaken.” I want to think I’m unshakable, but I certainly know I’m not. Any of us can break or shake under pressure. That’s why we must rely on Him for our existence. Our breath. One second at a time.

I found what I was looking for in Psalm 62. The first two verses say this:

I wait quietly before God, for my victory comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken. Psalm 62:1-2 - NLT. I think maybe I keep forgetting to “wait quietly” before God. I can wait. Impatiently mostly. And I’m pretty chatty! Lol. So I remind myself to wait- and do so quietly. Quietly trusting Him for just this moment.

I read the psalm out loud to my aunt. We stop on verse 5: Let all that I am wait quietly before God, for my hope is in him. NLT  That is what I needed to hear right here in this place of brokenness. Let all that I am..... and all that I am not...wait on Him.

And with that, today, I will silence my crazy all over the place thoughts, my aching heart, and my fears and quietly wait. I won’t stress over missed or behind work, not being with Chris while I’m caring for my aunt, or anything else. I will let the world pause and I will pause with it. Because my hope is in Him and not in any of these other things. As I pause, I will trust Him for today and trust that He has me broken or not.

Finding Contentment

I came across an interesting scripture this morning during my devotions. Since I wasn't sure where to start reading I let my Bible just fall open. It landed in Ezekiel 35. In the 5th verse, God is upset at a group of people because they attacked others in the time of their calamity. That sparked a short study on calamity and trouble.

At first I saw a lot of scriptures talking about why and when the Lord brought calamity on groups of people in the Old Testament. I'll be honest. I got a bit worried that He had brought this calamity on me and my family. But like Job who faced calamity for no fault of his own, I found peace knowing in my heart I have not turned away from Him even in this calamity. So I continued my short study.

I found a passage in Obadiah where God was condemning another group for mistreating their "brothers" in the day of trouble and calamity. I began to take heart again as it seemed God was upset with those who took advantage of those who were facing difficult times. Fortunately, I haven't found this to be true in my case. Most people don't seem to take advantage of caregivers, they just ignore us. lol.

As I thought about these two passages where the Lord seemed upset about how people who were going through were being treated, I recalled one of my old favorite verses. It's Psalms 57:1 and I memorized in back in 1986 when I was going through a serious illness. It says this Be merciful to me O God, be merciful to me for my soul trusts in thee and in the shadow of Your wings I will make my refuge until calamities are past.

And that I did. And that calamity did pass. He did heal me. There was no other explanation and doctors never discovered what the mystery illness was. But now I find myself in another type of calamity, one that is ongoing with no end in sight. I still proclaim that I will hide in Him in the midst of this wilderness too. He is still my refuge and in that, I am very content. I'm content to rely on Him for my strength to make each and every day. I'm content to know He's got my heart hidden in His no matter how broken it feels. I'm content to know He's got my back and upset when "brothers" don't treat us right as we walk through the struggles of each day.

Today, I will rejoice that I am still trusting in the refuge of His wings - and He hasn't kicked me out yet! My thoughts will be on being content in this place of safety and I will LET His peace rule in my heart. I won't let calamity define me, I'll let Him do that. I'll continue being contently and confidently hidden in Him trusting in His love and care. Will you join me?

Still in the Game

This weekend I went to Wichita, Kansas to run a half marathon. I had run one full marathon there in 2012. I haven't done another full 26.2 miles and probably won't! lol. I was surprised by the emotions of returning to the place I did accomplish my only marathon. My eyes got just a bit moist when I looked at the bridge coming into the start/finish line area and I was a bit proud that I had done at least one full.

I hadn't trained enough for this half, but knowing I'd done a full (and 26 other half marathons) gave me the confidence to hit the course and shave 4 whole minutes off my last time.

Sometimes as caregivers it feels like facing each day is like running a marathon and it can seem like it never ends. But by looking back at the things we have accomplished on the caregiving journey it encourages us to face another day. When we take a few minutes to look back at a few wins we know we can make it one more day. We are still in the game - and that's a great achievement.

But sometimes, it's the fact that we are still in the game that makes it difficult. It's our faith that brings the greatest comfort and the greatest conflict. We believe He heals - even though we don't experience it in our situation. We believe He calms the storm even when it rages on. What do we do with those emotions when we know and trust and believe but don't see? Stay in the game.

It all comes down to trusting Him in the midst of trials, storms, and caregiving. I've said before that I've found my faith to be redefined through caregiving. It's not so much that it keeps us from facing things - it's not about avoidance - or not having to go through the trials. Instead - it's what carries us through them. Like all our Bible heroes. Hebrews 11 - the Hall of Faith - is full of those who faced situations and prevailed because of faith. There'd be no stories if they hadn't faced obstacles.

Today, I'm going to rejoice that I am still in the game no matter how difficult it is. My thoughts will be on how He has carried me thus far and He's not putting me down here! I'll meditate on His presence that never leaves me and ride that through one more day called today. Will you join me? OH - and congratulations - for staying in the game!

How Seniors Can Maintain a Healthy Weight

All over America, senior populations continue to grow as older adults are living longer due to advances in medicine. A higher number of seniors are experiencing many of the problems that plague younger generations, including weight gain. Although obesity levels are much lower in seniors, there is a circular relationship between longevity and a healthy weight. As people live longer, their caloric needs change which can put them at risk for overeating. And the more seniors exercise, the longer they live.

The key to balancing a healthy diet with exercise is to find programs that are enjoyable and sustainable.  Here are some tips for senior diets and exercise.

Senior dieting requires more than just calorie restriction

The general rule with dieting is that in order to lose weight, one must create a caloric deficiency. A pound of body fat roughly equates to 3,500 calories. Therefore, in order to lose a pound in a week—which is generally considered a healthy weight-loss goal—a 500-calorie-a-day deficiency is necessary. Senior metabolism is slower than that of a younger person. Whereas a 30-year-old man may require 2,500 calories per day to maintain his weight, at 70 he may only require 1,800 calories. This slower metabolism makes it easier to overeat and harder to create a weight-loss deficiency. In addition, seniors have increased nutritional requirements in order to maintain bone mass and muscle strength. Simply reducing calories can result in malnutrition or injury.

Quality calories are key

Although a balanced diet is required for optimal health at any age, seniors require a high-protein diet that is lower in overall calories. This diet is possible through scrutinizing calorie quality. Empty calories, such as those found in refined sugar, bad fats, and alcohol, do great damage to a senior’s weight management. A good diet, therefore, would include foods that provide nutrition and fiber. Some good senior foods include:

-       High-quality protein, including eggs, fish, lean meats, and beans.

-       Dark, leafy vegetables, such as spinach, kale, broccoli, and cabbage.

-       Good fats such as those found in avocados and olive oil.

-       Reduced amounts of complex carbohydrates including grains and fruits.

Balancing diet with exercise

Since it is difficult to create a calorie deficiency sufficient to lose weight with diet alone, exercise can help. Experts suggest that seniors, even those with healthy weights, get 2.5 hours a week of moderate exercise or 1.5 hours a week of high-intensity exercise. Since high-intensity workouts can cause injury and fatigue, most seniors opt for incorporating some easy exercise, such as brisk walking, to their weekly routine.

If a senior weighing 160 pounds were to walk about 20 minutes a day, they will burn around 700 calories a week. If looking to lose a pound, an easy 20-minute walk already would have shaved off 100 calories each day, making the goal more attainable.

To maximize weight loss, there are other low-impact exercises that seniors can do at home. With a small amount of equipment, such as resistance bands and a yoga mat, you can put together a home gym for less than $100. The key is to find a good spot in your home. You don’t need a lot of space, just space that is comfortable and convenient.

In addition to promoting weight loss, exercise has been shown to increase longevity, with those following the recommended exercise of 2.5 hours a week living an average of 3.4 years more than those who do not.

Senior weight loss can be tricky, due to lowered metabolism, but through exercise and smart food choices, you can get down to a healthy weight.

Photo Credit: Pexels

Walking on Water

Just after I finished yesterday's devotion about how Jesus was sleeping in the boat and woke up to calm the waves, I thought of another story about Jesus and a storm. In Matthew 14, Jesus had just fed the 5000+ with two fish and five loaves of bread when He loaded up the disciples in a boat and sent them across the lake while He sent people home. After seeing that everyone was sent off safely, He retreated to a quiet place for prayer. While He was praying, a storm came up and started tossing His disciples to and fro. 

In our last devotion, Jesus was asleep in the boat and woke up to calm the waves. This time, He sees His disciples in distress and just takes off walking across the top of the water to where they were. In both settings, the disciples were first afraid of the storm, then afraid of Jesus. This time they think a ghost is coming at them across the waters. Jesus calls out to them and says some powerful words. I am here! Don't be Afraid! 

These words from the New Living Translation stood out to me. First off, Jesus took off walking across the water to get to His terrified disciples. He didn't stay safely on shore hoping they would get across. He met them in their storm. He met them in their fear. I take comfort in the fact that He came to them. They didn't even call out to Him as far as we know. He saw their distress and headed for them.

As caregivers, there can be much fear, much distress, much confusion, and much grief. God doesn't sit safely on the shores of life hoping we can sort it out. He comes to us in the midst of the storm offering peace, comfort, and direction. 

Today, I will turn my thoughts to how He came out to where His disciples were and met them in their time of need. I'll meditate on His ever-abiding presence and desire to be with us His children. I'll be thankful that He is willing to meet us in our mess and make a difference in our hearts. He can calm the storm in our heart even if the storm we are in rages on. I'll trust him for peace today and I will let it reign in my heart today. Will you join me?

Ups and Downs

One year ago I went and got my aunt. I knew I was bringing her up to Oklahoma for good. She did not. Over this year she has declined but is still doing pretty good. The day I went to get her I became a full-time caregiver for two. It was difficult and I would do it for several months before she would need more care than I could provide. It was a difficult decision but best for her safety. I remain a full-time caregiver for my son and provide long-distance caregiving for my aunt. It's definitely made for a rocky year - especially emotionally. But I know I'm singing to the choir! :-)

I have been reflecting on this past difficult year over the last few days so the scriptures I found this morning were particularly relevant to my life. I had looked up a verse a friend shared with me yesterday so my Bible was opened to Psalm 107. I found myself reading verses 23 to 32 over a few times. the psalm is about giving God thanks for His works of deliverance according to the subtitle. These few verses are talking about those who do business in ships.

The psalmist describes the rocky seas and the fears of those who travel through the storms. But it says God delivers them from trouble and distress. It talks about how the waves rise and fall abruptly. Those in the ship are scared and rightly so! I thought about how the lives of caregivers can be like the rising and falling of the waves. All.Day.Long. And sometimes through the night - up and down!

Meditating on this passage reminded me of one out of Mark4. Jesus was asleep in the boat when He and His disciples came across a storm that rocked their world. He had told them they were going to the other side. When they woke Jesus up He said three simple words. Peace Be Still. Then He turned to them and asked Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith? After they saw what Jesus did and how He calmed the storm, it says they feared exceedingly and asked, who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him? They were more afraid of Him than they had been of the storm.

I don't know about you but I need a storm-calmer in my life. Daily. He may need to do it over and over and over every single day. But He is always right there to reduce the effects of the winds of caregiving. Many fears can arise. He can dispel them. We face problems, lack, emotions, and crazy situations only caregivers can understand. But each time, when we turn to Him He speaks calm and peace into the situation. Sometimes it's multiple times in a day. But He's right there for us - whenever we need Him. He provides peace and calm in our storms.

Today, I won't be afraid to ask Him to speak peace into the storms. My thoughts will be on trusting Him in the midst of rocky circumstances. I'll meditate on His peace and how I can embrace it more fully. I'll remind myself that the rocky periods don't last forever - there is a caregiver's normal. lol. I'll trust Him with my heart and my emotions today as I pursue Him and His peace. Let's do what Paul said - Let His peace reign in my heart. Will you join me?

Thoughts of Peace

To be honest, I'd pretty much dismissed the promise so many claim out of Jeremiah 29:11. I'd wondered how that particular verse could possibly be applicable to the caregiving situation. When I'd see it or hear it quoted, I just didn't think I could apply it. It's easy to get tucked away in our caregiver's cave and seriously think there are a few scriptures or passages that do not apply to us. But this morning as I was reading through this chapter I realized something I'd been missing.

I went back up to the first part of the chapter. Jeremiah starts out explaining who he was sending the letter to the remainder of the elders who were carried away captive - to the priests, the prophets, and all the people Nebuchadnezzar had carried away captive from Jerusalem to Babylon. So, I read the chapter again with new eyes.

Jeremiah first offered some instruction for those in captivity. Sometimes, caregiving can seem like captivity. We cannot always go places we'd like to go or do things we like to do. Even simple things like getting groceries, coffee with friends, or going to a movie just can't happen. If we are able to get out, it's not as simple or spontaneous as just jumping in the car. It can be pretty complicated. It's easy to feel confined.

Here's what Jeremiah told those who had been carried away into their captivity. He said:

• take wives - get married
• have children
• let your kids get married
• increase and not decrease 
• seek the peace of the city
• pray for your city
• know the true word of the Lord

These sum up what Jeremiah told the captives in verses 5-9. I think these are great instructions for any situation that feels binding or constraining. One of my first prayers was that I would not become bitter. I could see myself writing books from life's prison cell. It can be so easy to withdraw and feel like we don't have a place or a piece. But we do - we should spiritually increase even in the midst of the storm. Let caregiving drive you to the throne and become more intimate with God. Spiritually, we can increase right where we are.

I must say now that I can hold on to the promise I once discarded. He does have good thoughts toward me. He still promises me a future and a hope - caregiving didn't steal that promise. It may look a LOT different than I thought it would - but His promises still stand. Increase is still possible even in the most difficult situations. 

Today, I will be thankful for this renewed promise. I'll meditate on His promise of hope and peace. My thoughts and prayers will be toward wisdom to know how to increase (spiritually) in the midst of the storm. I'll turn my thoughts to how I can pursue and maintain His peace in my heart no matter what is going on around me. And I will be content in Him as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?