Safe and Stylish: A Designers Guide to Decorating for Elder Care



Just because something is safe doesn’t mean it can’t look good, too. When you’re looking to create a stylish space for a senior, or a family caring for an older adult with memory impairments, you must consider their abilities as well as the people around them in your plan. Here are a few tips on how to get it done.

Cater to their wants with modified amenities

During your initial consultation, determine what the people in the home prioritize. Does the senior enjoy cooking or gardening? Is he or she more interested in reading or watching television? Once you know the senior’s interests, you’ll have a better idea about what will lend best to his or her quality of life. You might, for instance, design a wheelchair-accessible indoor garden or outfit the kitchen with a microwave oven that is easy to use with knobs instead of push buttons.

Go high tech

Computers and electronics aren’t just for gaming teens or busy executives. Today’s technology can be integrated in a home’s design to keep seniors safe and extend at least some independence. Alzheimers.net notes that picture phones, GPS tracking devices, and clocks made specifically for dementia patients are valuable additions to a senior’s home. Likewise, you might suggest installing smart plugs and devices throughout the home so that seniors can control lights, radios, and televisions with their voice, even from another room. 

Ensure everyone has a private space in which to retreat when needed

Most Alzheimer’s patients eventually require around-the-clock care. And while this is a labor of love for most family members, they will not only need a home that’s set up with their loved one’s needs in mind, but the caregiver will also need a place of respite. Create one room where the caregivers can walk away for a few moments to relax and recharge. Make this area a workspace for paid care providers, too, such as nursing assistants and housekeepers, so they can plan without interruptions or distractions.

Be minimalistic

The entire home should be safe and navigable, including the bathroom and kitchen, where seniors are most likely to get hurt. Avoid area rugs and look for flooring that doesn’t get slippery when wet. Design a living area without low-lying furniture, such as coffee and end tables. Opt instead for a sofa or sectional with built-in storage that eliminates the needs for these tripping hazards.

Create a space that emphasizes relaxation

For many seniors, a failure to effectively manage stress can make memory issues worse. Look for ways to incorporate relaxation and exercise into their day by establishing a wellness flow throughout the home. Keep books within reach, make access to the outdoors easy, and add pieces of furniture that hide journals, music, or art supplies they can reach when they want to take their mind off their condition.

Make organization a priority

As with all home design, keeping things organized is the key to keeping things safe. Clutter is dangerous to a senior’s physical and mental health. Use items that serve a dual purpose, such as a slow-cooker and pressure cooker combination in the kitchen or electric reclining furniture in the living room.

If you’re working with a family that may not be able to afford every home alteration, you can help them find home-modification grants or alternative solutions that will balance their wants, needs, and budget. Remember, the end goal is to create an environment that provides both safety and serenity for seniors. By customizing their home in a way that keeps them safe without sacrificing their personal sense of style, you will help them hold on to the best years of their life and enjoy those that are left.



Adversity Hasn't Won Yet!

Yesterday, I had an incident with one of my clients. At first, it seemed huge and I was angry, refusing to discuss the situation until I could simmer down. Even afterwards, I was silently fuming thinking I'd just let the client go and work for others who are more appreciative of my writing skills. lol

This morning, I went for a swim at the fitness center and it allowed me plenty of time to think. There's no music, no technology, no nothing - so it's quiet with just the sound of the water lapping at the sides of the pool. Back and forth I go and for a while, my head is swimming around in thoughts too.

As I was praying about how to handle the situation properly, I kind of heard this thought as I asked myself how can I use this situation to become a better writer? And it reminded me that adversity doesn't have to destroy us - it can make us better and stronger. The decisions we make in those instances either make us or break us.

My mind then jumped to when my son first had his wreck, now over 11 years ago. I recall going to the chapel in the bottom floor of the hospital and praying something like Lord, don't let this make me bitter or hard - My prayer early on was that adversity would shape me - help me draw closer to Him and that He'd still be able to use me in it.

James and Peter both started their letters by asking the readers to be patient in tribulation and struggles. Early Christians were encouraged to let patience have its complete work and that in the midst of trials. Peter explained to the young church that they should rejoice when faith is tried because in the end - we'll receive a reward for hanging in there. James told the 12 tribes, consider it JOY when you face various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance and LET endurance have its complete work so you can be mature. 

As we face this day as caregivers, no matter what happened to get us to this point, may we hold our heads up knowing we are still in the fight. We are enduring. We are still faith-full. We are still pursuing Him - our adversity has not won. It has not taken us from Him, cannot take us from His love, and has not distracted us for long enough that we haven't returned to Him with our heart time and time again.

Today, I will give myself a fist-bump for hanging in there - and you give yourself one too! Here we are in the midst of struggles, adversity, and trials, still pursuing His heart. Maybe we should give ourselves a break! I'll meditate on His strength IN me today and think about how it's been His strength that has carried me through to this point. I'll also thank Him for the growth whether I actually see it or feel it or not - and I'll thank Him for not abandoning me on those dark, whiny nights. Will you join me?

It's Okay to Ask

Sometimes, I am not sure what to do with such a wide range of emotions that are associated with caregiving. There is daily grief over what was, the shaded future, and what could have been. There's a sense of loss that is different for each caregiver. For me, it's the loss of my son although his body is still here. I also feel the loss of relationship with him and the future we were supposed to share as he matured, married and began a career and family. With my mom, it's a different loss due to her dementia. There is the loss of the relationship, as well as the loss of her memories of all the things we shared over the years. The grief, losses, and social isolation can chip away at my heart and soul as I fade into quietness.

As believers, how do we deal with these things? Where is that line of faith? We know all too well that there are no "Christmas Miracles" in real life. Not for us anyway. But that's a lot to carry, isn't it? It can be so difficult to navigate through a wide range of emotions on any given day.

I have to take my heart back to hope. Is there any? Sometimes, it really doesn't look like it - but there is always hope as long as we are breathing in and breathing out.to be honest, I'm not sure I always know what that hope looks or feels like. But since I've made it a practice to hide His word in my heart, my mind wanders over to Psalm 42.

The sons of Korah start the psalm out describing their deep desire for God. They call it a thirst - like the deer longs to be refreshed by the brooks. This first little bit has been used in worship choruses for years, but if you did a bit deeper into the psalm you find that they were trying to find God in dire circumstances, just like we do as caregivers sometimes.

The writers were seeking God in a hard circumstance, not worshipping Him in Sunday morning church. They share feelings of despair, feeling forgotten by God, and oppression of the enemy. For us, the enemy may look like brain injury, dementia, or something else. But our soul becomes disturbed (v.11) like the Sons of Korah.

But then they end the psalm in the most unusual way - with a declaration of trusting Him. They turn to ask themselves - why are you discouraged oh my soul? So, it must be okay to ask, right? I can't tell you how many times (every day) I've asked. And it's okay. Especially when it's followed with - I shall yet praise Him - the help of my countenance and my God. Still declaring in the midst of things so hard to understand - that He is still my God and I will continue to trust whether I can or cannot see.

Today, in the midst of pain, disappointment, and struggle I will declare - You O Lord are the help of my countenance - You lift me up! You are still my help and I will still trust You and praise You. Will you join me?

It’s All the Hard Part


Nothing is easy about caregiving, in my opinion. Some days are overall easier than others, maybe. And eventually we tend to adjust to a new normal, don’t we? For me, it’s taken some time to get into a groove and stay there. That’s actually how I adjust to many of the daily responsibilities. When I need to add something new, I find a spot for it in what I am already doing and once I fit it into my “groove” it becomes a new norm too.

As caregivers, we have so much on our plate it can be hard to juggle it all. And it’s not just a hectic spot – it’s every single day  - day after day. It can be easy to lose sight of life itself. Most caregivers I’ve had a chance to cyber-chat with get frustrated with people who tell them they need to take care of themselves or they need to take a break – but offer no real solution for how to do so. Not to mention how friends seem to vanish over time and social isolation becomes a real deal that gnaws away at our very existence. But alas, we adjust and continue to do what we must do for our loved ones.

Pressing on when it gets difficult makes me think of a scripture. Hebrews 12:1-2 says this:

Therefore, we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses,
Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us,
And let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,
Looking unto Jesus, the author, and finisher of our faith
Who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross,
Despising the shame  and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
(NASB)

I’ve mentioned it before, but it’s worth sharing again. I recall the day I stood by my son’s hospital bed, right after I’d brought him home. I was still heartbroken and was also in caregiver’s shock as I had no idea what it was going to look like. It was certainly figuring it out a day at a time thing. Lol. As I looked at my adult son sleeping, I was overwhelmed by the love I had for him. I knew I would stay beside him no matter what that road looked like, for I was bound by love. And in that moment, I realized this was the same love that held Jesus to the cross. His intense love and compassion for us was why He faced the cross, to begin with – and it’s what held Him to the cross when He had the power to walk away.

He looked out over time and saw us in our caregiving situations and endured the cross so He could perfect our faith. Those days when we just are not sure we can put one foot in front of the other or it takes all our strength just to breathe – we can look at Him and realized He endured pain for us because He cherishes us, He loves us. And we can take one more step, one more breath.

I think I didn’t really understand love until that moment that day. It’s helped me sort through many days – none of them easy.

Today, I’ll keep my thoughts focused on His great love for me. My meditations will be on how He didn’t get off that cross because it hurt – He knew WE needed Him to stay there. He endured – I can endure. I can run this caregiver’s race that is set before me with patience because of what He has done. I’ll thank Him for the grace to make one more hard day – will you join me?

Where Were You?


This weekend I paid for a sitter so I could get out in nature a bit. I’ve heard the saying that you go into the woods to find your soul. There is definitely something healing about a nice walk in nature. Well, this wasn’t really a walk, there was a LOT of rock climbing. But it was good for my soul and my body.

I think hiking is good because it gets your mind totally off caregiving, work, and life. For a few hours you’ve got to focus on where you are, where you are going and not getting lost! It takes every bit of you and demands you be “all in” for a little while. But while you are immersed in a nice hike and enjoying the fresh air – it really does bring a cleansing to the soul. As I got to this one area with beautiful rock formations and interesting plant life even here in early winter, I paused. I looked around at the beauty of nature and I realized the load of life had been lifted off my shoulders. Nature had done its job. I said, “thank you” out loud. Then began to thank God for all He created.

As I looked around at all the rock formations, I thought of how small it when compared with all His creation. I thought of the scriptures that mention how He holds the waters of the world in the palm of His hand. Then I thought of my favorite passage on creation. It’s in Job 38. Verse 4 stood out in my mind as God asks Job, Where were you when I laid the foundations of the earth? As I continued to hike and look at the wonders of creation, I thought of that phrase Where were you? Oddly enough it made me feel small and huge all at the same time.

On one hand, I recognized the power of God and how big He really is. But I also realized He takes time to speak to us. It was also significant to me that He was addressing this question to Job, the one so admired for facing great adversity and coming through it with faith intact.

So, I marveled that I felt so close to God out in the wilderness. I marveled that as insignificant as I feel in the grander scheme of things, He took time to touch my heart. I was refreshed, renewed, and recommitted to serving Him with all I had. My soul was calm – and that had been the point of the hike.

I thought about how God used nature throughout the scriptures. He spoke to Moses in a burning bush, made water run out of a rock, and today, He used it to speak to my heart once again.

Today, I will meditate on His majesty. My thoughts will be on the wonders of creation and how He still speaks to us today when we take time to listen. I’ll take time to listen to Him today – I’ll find that quiet place for my soul to reach out to Him once again. And of course, I’ll continue to trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?


Where’d You Leave It?


me and my mama
Yesterday as I was driving up to see my mom in the nursing home, I spent some time praying. It was one of those times where I felt like I just upended my heart and dumped it all out at the foot of His throne. I handed Him all my pain and confusion, some with words – some without. As I was pouring my heart out before Him I began to get some answers. They just started popping up in my mind.

As I drove, I asked for wisdom. Then I asked for peace. When I asked for peace, I had this question come up in my head. Where’d you put it? It struck me a bit funny, but I let my heart and mind pursue it. Where’d I put what?  Peace. That’s what I was praying for, right?

Then the scripture came to mind – in John 14:27, Jesus told His disciples, Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. In that moment, it seemed as though He was asking me a question. And of course, we know God doesn’t ask questions just for the sake of gathering information – He already knows!

It was more like he was asking me where did YOU put the peace I left for you?   I thought about that for quite some time. Jesus was preparing Himself for the crucifixion – He didn’t need peace on the other side of the cross. He is peace. He said He was leaving it for His disciples who were also instructed to not let their hearts be troubled. Well that’s easier said than done, especially for caregivers who have circumstances from all sides chipping away at their hearts, minds, and peace – day in and day out!

But somehow – just His question brought peace to my troubled soul. As I got lost in thought, peace began to flood my soul. I realized He left it here – His peace that is. He left it for us. What are we going to do with it? Where are we going to put it? Will we lay it aside and just go on walking in our confusion and fears? Or will we let ourselves be clothed and covered with His peace? Colossians 3:15 says to let the peace of God rule in your hearts… It’s an exercise in trust I presume! But it’s definitely a purposeful action.

Today, I will focus on letting His peace reign in my heart. I’ll be intent about leaning in to hear Him and drowning out the noise of the caregiving world with His voice. To “let” means to allow – I’ll allow His peace to reign in my heart – and in my mind today. In that way – I’ll trust Him with just this day and all that it may bring my way. Will you join me?

First things First


I’ve just come out of a few very rough days. I know you fellow caregivers (and some who are not) really do understand. It can seem like everything is rocking along smoothly when all of a sudden, BAM! Everything falls apart all at once. Our loved one is sick or facing new challenges, supplies don’t come, aids don’t show up or don’t work – whichever, right? For each of our unique situations, there are any number of crazy things that can happen in a day to make our already weird lives even more abnormal. Lol.

Even our easiest days are more difficult than other hardest days, you know? That’s not a complaint at all, just the way it is whether you are an LD caregiver or a full-time in the home caregiver. This last week was a double whammy for me. First, my son was sick (I’m thinking COPD instead of asthma – but haven’t got that confirmed yet.) Then in the middle of it all I get a call about a situation with my aunt. It turned out to not be too serious – but it was a LOT for a day. I was quite literally at my wit’s end.

I have to admit I was pretty upset at God. I felt somewhat like the psalmist in Psalm 13 when he said, how long O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? And of course, it didn’t take too long (not forever at least) for the tides to turn again and everything be all worked out for both my son and my aunt. But it was stressful for a few…

It’s so difficult to keep first things first when dealing with tons of stuff going on, isn’t it? I can honestly say – I’m no Job. I’m pretty sure I have “sinned with my mouth.” And after my reading this morning in Genesis, I guess I’m no Noah either. Lol. I’m not too surprised actually.

Noah is so interesting though. First off – God said some really nice things about Noah. He found grace in the eyes of the Lord. (Gen.6:8) Verse 9 says Noah walked with God. That’s an interesting term. Later in that chapter is says that Noah was careful to do all God told him to do. And then in chapter 7, God said that Noah was righteous before Him in a “wicked generation.”

We know that Noah obeyed God and built the ark and then he spent a long time floating around until the rains stopped and the earth dried. Who knows how stir crazy that was, right? At least we’ve got TV! Lol. He was locked up in there caring for all the animals and his few family members. But it was the first thing he did when he opened the door of the ark that got me this morning.

In Genesis 8:19, everything came out of the ark. In verse 20, it says Noah built an altar to the Lord. What if after every really challenging moment, a hard day, or rough situation we built an altar to God in our hearts? What if after those super trying days – or days on end – we kept going back to that altar and declaring we are going to serve God period? That’s how I want to be. Maybe I get tripped up in the particulars. We don’t know if Noah did or not – maybe he cussed out an animal or two! Lol (No hate mail – I’m sure he didn’t.) Did he get frustrated? He was caregiving times 100 with all the animals and his family. He had to get frustrated from time to time. But when he came out – he built an altar.

Today, as I come out from under a super stressful spot – I purpose to build an altar in my heart. I’m renewing my commitment to Him and confirming that I will still “walk with Him.” This altar in my heart will hold all my burdens and I will release them to Him. Just like the smoke went up from Noah’s sacrifice, my woes, pains, and concerns can rise before God as I place them on the altar of my heart and release them to His care. I’ll purpose to stay in that place of worship and sacrifice as I walk through today – will you join me?

Fingerprints on the Soul

  As I was typing the closing to yesterday's devotion, I penned a phrase about how God leaves fingerprints on our souls. It literally we...