Quietly Determined

This morning I was reading the last few verses of Habakkuk where the prophet said this:  Though the fig tree may not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines; though the labor of the olive may fail, and the fields yield no food; though the flock may be cut off from the fold, and there be no herd in the stalls- Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. As I read and reread this familiar passage, I thought about the determination behind what Habakkuk said. He was living in tumultuous times kind of like we are - yet he determined to praise God and trust His salvation.

As caregivers, I think we do that a lot. We quietly determine not to be swept away by the tide of caregiving. I know you understand those longest days where it takes all we have to keep our heads above the proverbial waters. Many people don't have a clue the types of decisions, choices, and tasks we face each and every day and the toll it can take on us mentally and emotionally.

On top of all that - there's the day-to-day physical tasks we must do for another. I think many times, we even miss the weight of the matter - we are involved so in ensuring the comfort and care of our loved ones, we don't even realize the toll it takes. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other.

Habakkuk was facing difficult situations too. He possibly felt overwhelmed or like he was being sucked under the circumstances he was in. He quietly determined to bless God in the midst of the mess. Isaiah 30:15 says in quietness and confidence will be your strength. 

God is faithful. When we cry out to Him even in the most difficult circumstances, He fills us with His peace, wisdom, and strength. Sometimes, He carries us. But it's in those most intimate moments we learn to trust Him more. 

Today, I will turn my thoughts to how He cares for me - the caregiver. I'll be determined quietly to let Him carry me through this day. My meditations will be on how intimacy with Him is what lifts me up where I can sense His peace over the storms of life. And I will rest in Him for one more day as He carries me through. Will you join me?

Back to the Basics

I hear myself use the phrase as if caregiving wasn't enough often. Just because I became a caregiver, it doesn't stop the rest of life from happening, right? It really seems like there should be an exemption card though since our plate is already full. But I guess in fairness if we were exempt from bad stuff, we'd have to be exempt from good stuff too. 

The world was crazy enough and then went into hyper-cray0cray mode a few months back. I have to avoid the news most of the time to keep my own head in the caregiving game and prevent myself from crashing into the emotional abyss. But I do know there is still a pandemic (an added worry for the caregiver), riots everywhere, shootings, protests, and lots going on out there. As if all that wasn't enough - I saw this morning that China has a case of Bubonic Plaque - unheard of for years. It's enough to drive you to the brink of crazy or depressed. 

As I was thinking about all this, I was like, what else?  We must be living in the last days. I knew they were going to be bad - but this bad? And I do know, they are bound to get much worse. That can be a frightening thought, can't it? Especially when you are taking care of other people. As my silent sigh ascended, my mind went immediately to a familiar verse. 

Micah 6: 8 says this: he has shown you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God. That seemed to make the load a bit lighter. You know as a caregiver our plates are seriously full and so are our emotions - good and bad. This verse brought me a bit of peace this morning as it broke my requirements down into small, manageable pieces.

We just need to do justly, love mercy and walk humbly with God. That means keeping our focus on Him and His kingdom instead of all the craziness around us, right? The kingdom of God did not change, move, weaken or fret when we became caregivers, and it's not doing any of that in response to this gone-crazy world either. That's something to hang your hope on. 

Today, I will turn my attention to the kingdom of God. It hasn't moved, been shaken, or changed due to my situation or any other situation. My thoughts will be on the unchangeableness of God  and how He remains faithful. I'll sit right here with Him today because I know He can handle anything and everything that might get thrown my way. Will you join me?

Be Still...Still Be

I meditate a lot on Psalm 46:10 which says to, Be still and know I am God. I even wrote a little song about it and lately, I've sung it quite a bit. Many of the blog posts on this devotional for caregivers are focused on just being still and knowing He is God. He is the one constant in the caregiver's life; the one thing (person) that doesn't change in what can be a very fluid life.

This morning I started thinking about this verse and my thoughts led me to how He is a shelter for me. He's the only place I can run to and find peace, hope, and unconditional love. My thoughts turned to running to Him and I thought, I don't have anywhere else to run to. Then, I thought, I am not looking for someplace else to run to. Lol. Even those times when faith is wearing thin and I cannot seem to find Him in my day-to-days, I still run back to Him. I do not have a safer place to run to.

Even in the thick caregiver's fog, I still keep running to Him. My "be still" and know turned into "I will still be...."

• I will still be running to Him
• I will still be trusting Him
• I will still be seeking Him
• I will still be looking to Him for strength.....

I will still be.... - you fill in the blank. No matter how dark the night gets, He will still be our light. No matter how treacherous life's road gets, He will still be our guide. No matter how stormy life's seas get, He will still be our peace. 

Today, I'm going to meditate on my still be... as well as His still be's. I will turn my thoughts to how He continues to provide, care for and take care of me and I'll be grateful. And I am thankful He didn't send me off on this difficult journey alone, He chose to walk it with me. Aren't you glad He doesn't abandon or forsake us when it gets ugly or hard? My thoughts today will be on how He will still be faithful...as I trust Him for one more day. will you join me.

I Will Not Be Afraid

Over the weekend, I started a new project. It's a branch of another one I started earlier. Right now I am just studying it, but it might end up being a devotional. I wanted to take a look at the declarations made by the psalmists. Many psalms start out with honest, raw emotions, go into a prayer, and end with a declaration. That's not always the case, but there are lots of declarations made throughout the psalms, and they are usually in the midst of a trial of some kind. 

The declaration in Psalm 3 stood out to me as I started on this journey through the Psalms. As usual, the psalm starts with the problem at hand. David is running from his son, Absalom who is trying to dethrone him. He cries out to the Lord about his situation. Lord, how they have increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. I think we can relate on some level here. As if caregiving wasn't enough in our lives we have now lived through a pandemic. And as if a health crisis wasn't enough, there has been financial ramifications. If money woes hasn't been enough there is political unrest and rioting in the streets of our land. There is so much strife, hatred, and discontent. 

It can feel like those things that chip away at our sanity and peace are increasing all around, because they are. But like David we can turn our thoughts into prayers. Lord, you are my shield. We can cry to God like David did. And then we can declare: 

I will lay down and sleep - and awake for the Lord sustains me.

I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people (situations, problems, rioters, etc) who set themselves against me all around.

I will not be afraid.....

We can declare freedom from fear - while shaking in our boots. We can declare our trust in God no matter what else this world throws in the mix. He is our glory. He is the lifter of our heads. His blessings are on us no matter what is going on around us.

Today, I will declare I will not give in to the fears trying to rise in my own heart. I will move in a little closer to His heart and let Him hold me close. I will trust Him with today. Just today. Will you join me?

When Life is Heavy

There is so much going on in the world around us, since I am about being honest and transparent, I must say I am overwhelmed. As if caregiving wasn't enough to carry we had the national shut down in response to the Coronavirus plus the fears of loved ones contracting it. Now there is racial unrest, rightfully so. And to top it off there is rioting and threats being made to our safety daily. Sometimes I do wish we got an exempt card from the rest of life when we become caregivers. lol. But if we skipped the bad  - we'd also have to skip the good, right?

On top of all of this shared load, I've had a couple of situations at work that have made me feel devalued, less than. For someone who struggles with self-esteem and rejection it makes it tough to focus on the truth, you know?

Life is just heavy right now for all of us - or at least for anyone paying any amount of attention. It's so heavy I feel it weighing on me physically and I cannot seem to get out from underneath the load. This makes it harder for me personally to accept my situation with my son and it tries to suck me into that deep chasm of depression. I think about who he was, all we are missing, etc - I know you know the drill.

As my custom is - I go to the Word for encouragement. For relief. I only have one scripture that comes to mind. casting all your care on Him, for He cares for you. (I Peter 5:7) This sounds wonderful, doesn't it? But then my mind kicks in and I realize I have to let things go if I am to give them to Him. I cannot coddle my fears and nurse my hurts if I give them to Him. 

I like the second part of this verse that says, He cares for you.  I have to give it all to Him and then let Him do the caring for me. That's not easy for those of us who really like to be in control, is it? But we can do it! I must pour out my heavy heart before Him and then let Him bear the pain, suffering, sadness, and burden for me.

If we look on down to the last part of verse 10, we'll see the end goal of casting our cares on Him and remaining sober and vigilant. He will perfect (mature), establish, strengthen, and settle us. I think I like the last term best - settle. He can bring a calming settling peace that's not available anywhere else. We give Him our burdens, and they are many, and He brings peace in our hearts (individually and collectively), strengthens us, establishes us in Him, and settles it all.

Today in the midst of the turmoil, I will remind myself that I am still His kid. I have not been rejected, cast away, or ignored. He still loves. He still cares. His eye is still on us. My prayers will be for Him to mature us, establish His kingdom in us, strengthen us for the battle, and settle us in His love. I will rest in His love today - will you join me?

Song of Hope

I'm still pulling stuff out of Hosea 2, so bear with me because I'm getting a lot out of this little passage! I hope you are too. Yesterday we looked at how He brings comfort and provides in the midst of the wilderness. Today, let's look at the next little bit - it's powerful, I'm telling you!

Verse 17 says this: I will give her vineyards from there, and the Valley of Achor as a door of hope. What's interesting is that "Achor" means pain. Caregivers are familiar with pain and loss. It doesn't matter what type of caregiving you do, there are lots of responsibilities that go with taking care of another whole person. There will be losses, good days and bad days, sorrow and joy, self-sacrifice, and pain.

But right there in the Valley of Pain, God provides a door of hope. God always has hope for us on reserve - He never runs out. Even in the longest, darkest night - He provides hope. Sometimes it appears as a small glimmer of light - but it is there even in pain. He is the God of hope - the giver of hope- the sustainer of hope. And He shares it with us.

The next part of this verse stood out to me this morning. And she shall sing there. Wow. We can sing of His love, His care, His strength, and His hope right in the midst of our mess. No matter how hopeful or how dire the circumstances, a song of hope can rise. Why is that? God sees the pain our souls are so familiar with - why a song? Maybe the answer lies in the next couple of verses.

God says He would not be known as master anymore - but as husband. I don't know what that means to you - but to me it speaks of intimacy. He doesn't just want to be our lord - He desires intimacy with us. Exodus 34:14 in the New Living Translation says He is a God who is passionate about a relationship with His people. He just wants to live with us heart-to-heart. Caregiving doesn't change His desire for us. He still loves us and longs for relationship. I love that.

Today, I will rejoice that even in the pains of caregiving, God doesn't distance Himself. He draws closer instead, He still longs for us. My meditations will be on how He desires to be close and intimate with all our ways. I will be thankful that caregiving doesn't scare Him away. I'll take comfort in the fact that He draws closer when others pull away. Will you join me?

From There...

As I was writing yesterday's post, the story of God showing Hagar the well in the wilderness, another passage familiar to me came to mind. It's found in Hosea. God is chasing Israel and having the prophet act it out in real life. (That's a loose translation of what's going on here.)

In verses 14 and 15 of chapter two, God says, Therefore, behold, I will allure her, will bring her into the wilderness, and speak comfort to her. I will give her her vineyards from there, and the Valley of Achor as a door of hope, she shall sing there....

I love this passage as God is wooing Israel and bringing her to Himself. Note that He brings her to the wilderness, the same place He found Hagar. First, He speaks comfort to her. We all need that, don't we? Especially in our uncertain days with the Coronavirus and all the craziness surrounding it, we need His comfort and peace. Here, He offers it. He does not withhold comfort - He speaks it into her. I trust He does the same thing for us.

The second thing about this passage is God's provision. He says He will give her her vineyards from the wilderness. It says, "from there" so I assume the "there" is the wilderness He brought her to. God was good about bringing and meeting people in the wilderness to talk with them. He brought the Children of Israel out of Egypt unto Himself - He took Ezekiel to the wilderness to talk with him, He met Moses on the backside of the wilderness to call him. Note to self: God did not take her out of the wilderness to provide for her - He gave her her vineyards from there. I love that - He can provide for us in the wilderness of life - period. He doesn't have to wait for the climate to change, He doesn't wait until the stock market recovers - or until we have all of our proverbial ducks in a row. He doesn't wait until we get out of the wilderness. He provides for us right smack dab in the midst of the mess.

Remember that Isaac went to Gerar and famine was in the land. But in the midst of the famine, it says that Isaac sowed in that land (the one suffering a famine) and received in the same year a hundredfold, and the Lord blessed him.... and we could add from there.

I don't know about you - but I find it very comforting that God can touch us right where we are and bless us from there. Don't you?

Today, I will thank Him from my "from there." I'll be grateful that He can see me where I am and doesn't exclude caregivers from any of His promises or provisions due to our situations. I'll take comfort knowing He sees us right where we are and reaches to us right where we are. My meditations will be on His power to see us - and His heart toward us even in the ugly. And I will trust Him for just one more day as I trust Him for provision from here. Will you join me?