Dealing and Healing


The caregiver's world can be a traumatic place where you feel like you never get ahead. Many caregivers deal with PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). No one doubts how stressful it can be. And I think how much easier it might be if everyone just did their jobs. Right? In the caregiver's dream world, supplies are delivered as ordered and on time. Aids show up for their scheduled times day after day. The days go without a hitch, so it's all about providing care for our loved ones. People call just to check-in. Someone gives you a hug or says, I love you. But maybe that's what dreams are made of. (smile)

I'm not complaining - but I am traumatized by what I see going on in the world. There's no peace out there, would you agree? It seems like lately, I've done a lot of reeling in of the emotions and talking myself back to a place of peace in Him. You know what? That's okay. It's part of dealing with it all and healing in the midst of the struggles and storms.

Sometimes I think it would be nice if we got an exemption card when we became caregivers. Alas, more dreams. Lol. No one would die. We wouldn't have to miss marriages, holidays, or other family events. And maybe the weather would be perfect year-round so that we could always get outside (as long as our loved one is feeling up to it.) 

Lots of dreams, huh? Well, at least I made myself smile and got a little chuckle out of it. (You can smile too.) Because even though I'm being a bit facetious,  we all know that caregiving isn't a bed of roses. There is beauty, but there are thorns too. And we are okay with that. It's part of the deal.

I'm learning to hide more in Him than ever before. To "deal and heal" while in the midst of the storm means I have to crawl up in Him to find peace, and sometimes to find myself. You know? Caregiving is a funny creature, and circumstances can change on a dime on any given day. But what we do have is the constancy of the Holy Spirit. He is our comforter. Jesus is still the Prince of Peace. These truths do not change when we become a caregiver. They remain. And some days, it's a constant fight to keep my mind stayed on these truths. But it's doable. And it's necessary if we want to live in peace and comfort. 

Today, I will shift my mind away from the craziness in the world and the loneliness in the cave and focus on His kingdom where peace reigns. I'll meditate on how He cares for me and carries me when needed. My thoughts will stay on His comforting power. I'll remind myself that I don't belong in this world - but I am part of the Kingdom of Peace where the Prince of Peace reigns. I'll accept His peace even though it goes against everything I see through my tiny cave windows. (Smile again!) And I will rest in Him - embrace His peace - and let it reign in my heart today as I trust Him for just one more day. Will you join me?

It's All the Same to Me

 

chris and aunt polly

My thoughts were scattered this morning during my devotions until I finally settled into reading a few more chapters in Isaiah. It wasn't a bad thing, really. I was trying to prepare for my devotions for Facebook live - and had too many to choose from. lol. That's one of the most amazing things about God and His word. No matter what I am dealing with or going through, He has me covered.

His Word renews my mind (the reason it's so important to read it!), He has my heart in His, and He keeps my soul. (Psalm 121:7) He really is our All in All. He's got us covered from one end to the other and throughout all eternity. Think about it a bit. He knew man would fall. So He planned a way for us to get back to Him before He said, Let there be light. He made sure we would never be at a spot in time where we would be separated from Him. 

Even now He has everything under control even when we feel out of control. Just His armor alone has us covered. (Pun intended.) Of course, it's up to us to put it on. But when we put it on and purposefully keep it on then we can stand against all the wiles of the enemy. Every fiery dart he throws at our soul can be quenched and destroyed by the armor. 

The cool thing is that the armor is the same for everybody. There's no special armor for the caregiver or the pastor, for the teacher or the homeless, for the rich or the poor. The armor is available for all believers. There are no exclusionary statements attached. It doesn't say - Christians, put this on - unless you are a caregiver - then you are out of luck. His grace doesn't run out when we become caregivers. It actually abounds more. Society likes to condemn, discard, and ignore those who don't fit the status quo. And so does the worldly church in general. 

But let's take a look at God's heart for us. I think I found it in Isaiah 10 when I was reading this morning. It may seem disconnected but bear with me. It says:

Woe to those who decree unrighteous decrees

who write misfortune, which they have prescribed

to rob the needy of justice

and to take what is right from the poor of My people

that widows may be their prey and that they can rob the fatherless.

As I read over these two or three times this morning, I heard God's heart in it. God doesn't like injustice. He doesn't like robbery in any form. His heart is for the needy (and boy do I need Him!) and the poor. He reaches out to those who are looked down on and discarded by society and the religious system. When Jesus walked among men on the earth, He always went for the sheep who were cut off, those no one else wanted. Zacchaeus the tax collector. Mary Magdeline the woman that Jesus cast seven demons out of - she became a great evangelist. He always had time for the downcast and weary.

God's heart toward caregivers is one of compassion, grace, and mercy. He defends us. He loves us no more - and no less than others. We are part of His team and His hand is always reaching out toward us longing to draw us into His heart.

Today, I will be thankful that He reaches a little further down into life's trenches to grab me. My thoughts will be on how His heart is chasing after those the world tends to discard. I will be thankful that He walks into life's ugliest pictures and paints grace. I'll rest in that thought today as I trust Him for just one more day. Will you join me?



If you have a chance, check out my books on Amazon. I'm adding more soon both in Kindle and hardcopy! They are also available in ebook form to read on your phone or tablet. You can get those on my main website, Dove's Fire Ministries Education.

The Encourager

 

chris and me at the park

It happens to the best of us. No matter how strong we are - or think we are. No matter how long we've been caregiving. No matter how mature we are in the Lord. No matter how faithful we are to pray and study the word. Some day, some time, discouragement will visit. It may even try to disguise itself as tiredness or weariness. It's at those moments when we are tired and fatigued that we are the most vulnerable. It's not a matter of if it's a matter of when discouragement will come knocking on our door.

For me - it's like today. I know I'm okay. But I also know Chris hasn't slept well in over a week and that begins to wear away at my strength and my soul. I get weary. Who wouldn't? I know you understand. I'm not weak in my faith. My trust in Him is still intact. The word is still rich and alive and I enjoy every moment I can soak it up. But I am tired. Well, it's actually a very good spot to be!

Why? You ask. Because I read last week in 2 Corinthians 7:6 that God encourages the discouraged. He can't encourage you if you are already encouraged. He'd be filling up a full cup. So being discouraged gives Him an empty (or partially empty) cup to pour Himself into. That's why it's such a good spot. God is faithful.

David encouraged himself in the Lord.  He was in a tough spot. The soldiers he'd fought alongside of didn't trust him anymore. He was abandoned. Then when he returned home to Ziklag, he found it ransacked by the enemy. They'd taken all their goods and all their people. His wives were missing. It says that he encouraged himself in the Lord. ( 1 Samuel 30)

It didn't say he reminded himself of what a great soldier he'd been. He didn't tell himself how strong and mighty he was. He didn't even remind himself of how he took out a giant with a sling and a stone. He encouraged himself in the Lord. To me that says he reminded himself of how great God was. I imagine he said, now David - you know God is faithful even when men are not. David - remember that God has His hand on you and He won't let you go. God knows your thoughts, your intents - your heart. God trusts you in this situation. He can still be trusted.

Encouragement that sticks is just that - reminding ourselves of who God is and all He's already done. He has carried us to this point in time and He will not abandon us now. He will always remain faithful to us - He will always be our caregiver, our shepherd, our loving Father, pastor, and comforter. And the list could go on and on. 

Today, I will remind myself of how far He has brought me and how He has stayed with me. I'll be thankful that He is patient and continues to keep my soul day after day and night after long night. He's not going anywhere. He's still got this. David said it this way - He's the lifter of my head. I will trust Him, the encourager, for one more day. Will you join me?


PS- The print version of 31 Days in Psalm 31 just released on Amazon today! Get your copy or your Kindle copy for just $5. 

It's Waiting for You


Do you ever get tired? Who am I talking to? Right? If you are reading this you are probably a caregiver. We live tired. lol. Our "normal" day schedules contain more activity and tasks than a lot of people do in a week. There's no doubt we get tired. And of course, there's always those cute little add-ins like my son coughing all night for the last three nights to make that tiredness dig in just a little bit deeper.

Of course, there are a few things I've learned in the natural that can help with that a bit. Like, if I get a chance, I'll take a nap. Maybe I'll try to go to bed a little earlier tonight. Tiredness leads to fatigue and if we are not careful to caregiver burnout. Having some help is great even if it comes from a bad aid. Lol. I try to exercise a little every day to combat fatigue. And I try to get some fresh air and sunshine if it's only taking the trash out.

But this tired can be deep and it needs some relief from the spiritual side. That's why I spent some time meditating on Hebrews 4:8-11 this morning. It explains to the reader that there is a rest for the people of God. It also says sometimes it's a lot of work to get there. But I love verse 9 in the New Living Translation. It says this: So there is a special rest still waiting for the people of God. 

Now, I understand our rest is "way beyond the blue" as the old hymn said. But I believe there's some rest for this weary soul right here and right now too. Isaiah says that He gives strength to those who wait on Him. (Isaiah 40:31) And I'm pretty sure we are not going to need it as much once we pass to the other side. It must be for us for right now!

My goal for today is to find that place of rest in Him, that place of rest that is waiting for me and you. He so longs for us to crawl up into Him and rest. It doesn't make everything settle down. It doesn't mean every trial and struggle will go away. But it does mean that He gives us strength for one more day. 

Today, I will seek that place of rest - not on the couch, not on the bed, not even in my afternoon nap (if I get one) - but hidden in Him. I'll let Him wash away the sweat and the tears from these long days and I will let Him have control again while I rest. As we rest in Him - we find the strength to carry on for one more day. Will you join me in this pursuit of being hidden in Him - just for today?


If you enjoy these daily devotionals, check out 31 Days in Psalm 31. It is now available on Kindle. (And it's just $5!)

In With the New

 

Chris' adorable smile

Happy New Year to everyone who reads and keeps up with this devotional. I pray this year is one of immense blessings, peace, and restoration. I seriously only want to look back on 2020. It's been quite the year for everyone. I have to say that I have learned a lot, grown some, and changed a lot over the last 12 months. But you know that nothing actually changed from 11:59:59 on December 31, 2020, to 12:00:00 am on January 1, 2021. Right?

We are still in the midst of a pandemic. The political climate is chaotic at best. And most of the world seems to have gone stark raving mad. lol. Nothing is really too new except the date today. lol. Thinking about all of this led me to think about the things about God that don't change with the date. You know? He doesn't have a timer that goes off on New Year's Day. Which New Year's Day would He choose? The Jewish calendar is different from ours. The Chinese New Year won't happen for a few more days. There isn't a "New Years Day" in heaven. It's just Day because He is the light. 

But - it is a new day for us and God chose to accommodate. Jeremiah tells us that His mercies are new every morning. (Lamentations 3:23) It's not a morning for HIM - so He orchestrated that just for us. Each of our new mornings we are met with His mercies to carry us through. Isaiah prophesied Behold I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth. So, there seems that there was an appointed time -  or a specific point in time that God caused roads in the wilderness and rivers in the desert. (Isaiah 43:19) 

God is not governed by the timeframe of earth. But He does have certain spots in time that He places things. Jesus came at the appointed time. So even though God does not change with time or in response to time - He can make all things new. Matter of fact, He said that we are a new creation in Christ. (2 Corinthians 5:17)

So on a day when we can hope all things are new - while we are still trying to shed the baggage of the old year - God remains. He is faithful, merciful, and full of love and grace toward us as we move into a new year in our time scale.

Today,  I will remind myself that it was God who carried me (us) through 2020 and He is not jumping ship now! My meditations will be on how He has been faithful and He will continue to be faithful. I'll set my mind on the consistency of God and let that carry me through the hectic days that lie ahead. I will rest in Him and trust Him for this first day of 2021. Will you join me?


Another Day

 


Well, the end of 2020 is upon us. What a crazy year. On one hand, it was a little bit funny to watch the rest of the world trying to adjust to the social isolation we've been living in all along. I did feel a little sorry for them. There were so many twists and turns though, it seemed like the world went crazy this year. One thing is for sure - the world has changed.

I know at midnight tonight, when the new year begins, nothing will change in that instant. The pandemic will not just go away. The things we've lost this year will not return and the political scene won't suddenly calm down. However, we will continue providing care for our loved ones. We will simply continue trusting Him for one more day. One day at a time.

Even though the world around us has changed a lot this year in good ways and bad ways - God will not change. He will continue to be merciful, forgiving, and compassionate. His love for us is just as strong today as it was the day Jesus died for us. It will remain. 1 Corinthians 13:13 says three things will remain: faith, hope, love.

There's no way of knowing what changes 2021 may bring. Even if someone had told us in January 2020 how crazy of a year it was going to be we couldn't have comprehended it. lol. This year is going to bring changes too both good and bad I am sure. But we can continue trusting in the things about God that will never change.

Today, as I reflect on this last year and all it has brought and look forward to a new year, I will be thankful for God's continued faithfulness. I will rejoice that He was with each of us every step of 2020 - and this year will be no different. My meditations will be on His love that cannot be changed or diluted by time. He is passionate about us and He'll still be passionate in 2021! On this last day of the year, I will be thankful for another day to trust Him. And I will trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

A Plan for the Unplanned

Chris at his first 5K

 If anyone knows about how things don't go as planned, it's caregivers. All it takes is a sneeze, a cough, a huge "accident' (and you know what I mean!) to mess up the best-laid plans. Many mornings we get up and start about the day and may even be productive. But all of a sudden it turns topsy-turvey and ends up with calls to doctors, home health, case managers, or suppliers. I know you know that drill!

But what are we supposed to do when things don't go as planned? Is there a plan for when plans fail? I know you understand what it's like to make plans for an outing, a family get together, or even a trip to the store and have to cancel at the last minute. It's easy to get to a place where you don't even want to make plans. 

I'm sure Daniel didn't plan on living his life as a slave. Joseph didn't either. All through scriptures we find stories of real people who had their real lives uprooted or disrupted by various events. Hebrews 11 has a long list we often call the "Hall of Faith." These people didn't have perfect lives either. Yet they continued to trust and believe God. 

This morning as I was preparing for the devotion I do on Facebook Live, I found myself in Psalm 13. David didn't have a perfect life either. We talked a bit in yesterday's devotion about how he took in Mephibosheth, the disabled son of Jonathan. That demonstrates the heart of God. 

In Psalm 13, David is asking where God went. He asks God how long He is going to look the other way. Yes, this is the same David who said in Psalm 139 that God was intimately acquainted with our ways and knows our thoughts before we think them and our words before we say them. But here he is in despair. He's feeling lost and forsaken. I know I don't have to tell you about that -it's part of the caregiver's journey. David felt it all - the loneliness, being forsaken, forgotten, overlooked - you fill in your blanks because I've got a lot of those emotions myself. We all do from time to time. 

But one thing I love about David is that he ends most of his psalms with a declaration. This one he declares:

  • I will trust Your unfailing love
  • I will rejoice
  • I will sing to the Lord because He is good to me
Today, even though I feel a bit discombobulated, I declare that I will trust God for one more day. I'll trust that He still loves me and He has good plans for me. I will rejoice in the victories He's brought so far even if I don't feel victorious today. And I will sing to Him - not because I'm good - but because He is good. His goodness remains steady and unwavered by the things we face each day. He is still good - and He is still God. I'll trust Him for today - will you join me?

The Chase

  This morning, I was reading about Benaiah in 2 Samuel 23. He was one of David's mighty men, and these three or so verses are all we kn...