He Still Comes

 

Do you ever just need a break? Haha - I forgot who I was talking to! Of course, you do! The real question is IF you'll get one, right? It's come to my attention that I may have some level of caregiver burnout. Little - like teeny, tiny, little things bother me to the max. I've thought about counseling, not sure if that would help or not. I've thought about giving myself a day off from "work." But I'm not really "off" even if I do that, you know? I have a few other workable ideas like taking a few more excursions and getting Chris out of the house more - because then, I get out too! :-) But I'm pretty sure I'm going to need more than one Saturday a month, although I'm grateful for that one day!

All of these thoughts and more were rolling around in my head this morning. I hope it doesn't come down to it - but I may have to actually ask for help. (Lol - imagine that!)

I know that God sees right where I am - and He sees you right where you are too. That brings a little comfort. I'm truly thankful that God sees.  I'm equally as thankful that God hears. He listens so closely that He hears all those things our hearts cannot even express in words. He hears the pain behind the tears we may shed - and even the pain behind the tears we refuse to shed. Yes, He's that close, that intent.

As I was looking for the verse in Psalms that says He is near the brokenhearted - I found myself in Isaiah 61. It seems He wants to send us to bind up the brokenhearted. He wants us to proclaim liberty - to whom? The captives? Wow. He wants us to proclaim the year of the favor of the Lord as well as comfort those who mourn. What on earth is He talking about? We need all of that! Who's going to be there for us?

I think we can get a great picture of God's heart in these first few verses of Isaiah 61. In essence, His plan (which is always better than ours!) is to move closer to the brokenhearted such as ourselves. Additionally - He wants to provide:

• good news to the meek (those who know they NEED Him!)
• healing to the brokenhearted
• liberty for the captive
• openness and freedom for the bound
• acceptance
• comfort for those who mourn
• beauty in the place of ashes
• joy to replace mourning
• praise to replace the spirit of heaviness

Man, that's a lot, isn't it? I am pretty sure I can find myself in at least a couple of these emotional states - but certainly not all of them. But no matter where our minds or emotions are today - He meets us there. I love that about God. He doesn't expect us to dust off the ashes of our mourning before He comes to us with comfort. I can come to Him with all my baggage - my sadness, emptiness, mourning, and heaviness - and I will find total and complete acceptance and help. That's encouraging because at times I feel powerless. But the one who is all-powerful - will lift me up. He will strengthen me - even in this lowly, crazy mental and emotional state. Why? Because He loves us - we are His. He simply can't help Himself!

Today, I will remind myself that He is right here. He doesn't stay away when I am sad. He doesn't avoid me when I can't quite get it together. He won't shun me for questioning life in general. He will come. He will comfort. He will bring joy, peace, and freedom. And I'll just trust Him in the midst of it all. Will you join me?

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Check out my bookstores. I have eBook devotionals, Bible study guides, poetry, and more in my Dove's Fire Ministries bookstore. My Amazon bookshelf has a couple of those in print or on Kindle.

The Back of the Cave

 

This morning I let my mind and heart run around in Psalm 57 for a while. It's been a long-time favorite as I "found" it during one of the darkest storms of my life in 1986. I find myself going back there a lot. David penned this psalm while running for his life from Saul. He was hiding in a cave. Do you ever feel like you live in a cave as a caregiver? I know I did when I first brought Chris home. I found myself all alone almost all the time. 

What David did in the cave is an example for us all. He wasn't shy about expressing his emotions or concerns. But he also wasn't shy about declaring his faith and trust in God, even in the tough times. He declared from the back of the cave I will hide beneath the shadow of Your wings. I cry to God! I will sing Your praises. Be exalted O God above the heavens. Even while navigating a difficult time in his life, he put his trust in God. I think we do that a lot.

David also declared in verse 3 that God was going to send forth His unfailing love and faithfulness. David acted like he expected God's mercy, love, and faithfulness to overtake him right there in the dark cave. Why not? Right? What a rescuer of our souls! Even the darkest, dankest cave can't prevent God's mercy and love from reaching us! You'll never hear God say, O, it's too dark in there. He will never say He's afraid to pursue our hearts with His love! I love that about God. He just walks right into the middle of whatever mess the day, week, month, or years have caused and brings His mercy, peace, faithfulness, and love with Him!

Today, I will declare from the back of the cave that I will trust in His unfailing love and faithfulness. Today, I will praise Him because He will not abandon us to our own messes! Today, I will praise Him for bringing me joy in the midst of the pain, light in the darkest night, and peace in troublesome times. Isn't He wonderful? (Even in the back of the cave?) I declare that today I will trust Him for my very life and sanity as I trust Him to carry me for one more day. Will you join me?

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Check out my bookstores. I have eBook devotionals, Bible study guides, poetry, and more in my Dove's Fire Ministries bookstore. My Amazon bookshelf has a couple of those in print or on Kindle. My devotional 31 Days in Psalm 31 is all about seeking God from the cave! Check it out!

This Day

 I know we don't like to talk about our fears. Somehow we've let the world convince us that if we express any amount of fear or concern, we are not in faith. Nothing could be further from the truth. David even said What time I am afraid I will trust in You. (Psalm 56:3) We have so many stories of Bible heroes who faced difficulties that we sometimes forget they were human. Joseph cried bitterly when his brothers sold him. He had to have been afraid. We read the rest of his story without a lot of emotions sometimes. It's easy to forget this is the life he was living - we're just reading it.

Someone said real courage is moving ahead even though you are afraid. Without fear - situations don't take courage to face. I remember when I first brought my son home. Every time it was time to transfer him (which wasn't a lot back then), I'd get sick to my stomach. I was so scared I'd drop him or hurt him. Those fears were warranted - but they didn't last, thankfully. :-)

As caregivers, our concerns change over time. Recently, I had a caregiver friend who fell ill suddenly and passed away. Her son is being well taken care of by the family. I have no one who can take care of my son if I were to die today. (I'm not planning on it, but still! lol) I grieve because I fear he won't feel loved. My prayer is that I live at least one day longer than him. I can't imagine what will happen to him when I am gone.

Another common fear for caregivers is being able to provide financially. Thankfully, God has provided good work for me and that's not a huge concern at this point. But I did face those fears early on.

Our fears and concerns may change based on our own personal situations and circumstances. They change over time too, don't they? Kudos to every caregiver out there who makes it through the days through prayer, faith, and raw guts! :-) 

One thing I've learned to do is to remind myself that I have this day - today. Right now I am able to care for Chris and should be able to for the foreseeable future! I thank God for each day and for the strength to make it. I pray for wisdom to handle my affairs and plan for further down life's road. I remind myself that God is faithful for every "this day" we have the opportunity to live!

Today - this day - I will thank Him for His sustaining grace. I will be thankful for this day. I'll thank God for bringing us thus far - and for never abandoning us when the way got rough. I'll hug my son a little tighter this day - and pray that he feels my love. Then, I'll thank God for walking through this day with me - just like I walk through all my todays with my son, because I love him. Will you join me?

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Check out my bookstores. I have eBook devotionals, Bible study guides, poetry, and more in my Dove's Fire Ministries bookstore. My Amazon bookshelf has a couple of those in print or on Kindle.

How to Choose the Best Nursing Home for Your Loved One

We all want the best for the seniors in our lives, and as they get older, they may need more attention than you are able to provide. In that case, you have a big decision to make, and the only suitable option may be putting them in a nursing home or an assisted living facility. There are a lot of options for different facilities, and you need to ensure you can afford the associated costs. Here are some tips for how to find the best home for your senior.

Consider the Services

While many people may just rush to the nursing home that has the best reviews, you also need to consider the services that your senior needs and whether or not that home provides them. For instance, some seniors have issues with remembering basic tasks and they may need more memory care than anything else. The case may also be that your home will require more around-the-clock monitoring with an emphasis on incontinence care.

The point is that you need to first talk to the senior or their doctor so you can decide what they need the most and then determine if the facility can provide in that way. While you can find a lot of information online, it is better to take a tour of the home and ask all necessary questions so you get a clear picture.

When considering a healthy diet, remember that all nursing homes are required to serve at least three square meals per day, so if your senior cannot cook on their own, then you will be covered in that area. If your loved one has certain dietary restrictions, you will want to talk to the facility to ensure that they can provide what is necessary.

Read Reviews

You may find a great facility while you are searching online that appears to offer everything you are looking for, but just because you may be excited, you shouldn’t sign up just yet. The next step is to take a deep dive and read the reviews to ensure that the place is clean, the staff is polite and attentive, and that the services mentioned are really offered.

There are many review websites where you can find this information or you can search for that particular facility on a site like Google or Bing. When you read reviews, make sure that you are not only seeing those written by the family member paying the bills, but also the senior that lives there if possible. Only a senior who is within those walls 24-hours a day can really tell the whole story.

Consider the Cost

While senior care facilities may seem like a godsend, it is basically common knowledge at this point that placing your senior in a home can be exceptionally costly. Currently, the average cost is almost $8,000 a month for a private room, so if you don’t have that cash on hand, then you will need to make some decisions.

If you don’t have that money available, but finding a nursing home is absolutely necessary, then one way to free up cash is to sell your home. Those who own their home outright will have an easier path, but even in that case, there are many fees to consider. It is a good idea to use a home sale proceeds calculator which can factor in how much you could make when you sell your home plus realtor fees and commissions so you can have a clear picture. If selling your home is not an option, then you may be able to use Medicaid or take out a loan.

In the end, realizing that you need to put your senior in a home is a tough decision, but by taking it one step at a time, you will figure out what is best. If you want to know more about senior care or the role of caregivers for your loved ones, check out the Daily Devotions For Caregivers blog for more great information.

Just in Time

 

As caregivers, we never know what a day will bring. Everything can change on a dime in an instant. By now we should have adjusting to changes down to a fine art, right? lol So this morning, I was reading through Psalm 37 and verse 39 jumped out to me. Now, there are LOTS of great nuggets in this psalm, as there are in many chapters. It speaks of His faithfulness, His provision, His grace, and lots more. But in verse 39, David says the salvation of the righteous is from the Lod, He is their strength in the time of trouble.

I think it's safe to say that as caregivers, we generally live right smack dab in the middle of a time of trouble. We are challenged with the every-day. Yet, we continue to navigate it day after day by the grace of God and by trusting in Him. We can most likely disagree on a lot of things - but we can agree that it is His strength that carries us through each day.

He is our strength in the time of trouble - He is there right on time, just in time, right when we need Him! The next verse goes on to say, the Lord shall help them (the righteous) and deliver them; He will deliver them from the wicked, and save them because they trust in Him. What a promise! Did He have any idea what our everydays were going to look like? I'm sure He did - and does. And He still saves and delivers our souls because we trust in Him!

What an amazing, amazing promise! He doesn't say He will come to us to deliver and save us once it's all clear. He doesn't say He's there for us and has our backs as long as no one is looking. He doesn't promise to save us after we work through all the hard parts. He says in the time of trouble. That indicates to me that He walks right up in the middle of the mess - comes to us in the middle of the storm - reaches out to us in the craziness that surrounds us to help and keep us. Wow. He's not scared of our situations - and He's not speechless like so many can become. No fault of theirs - they just don't always know what to say to help. But God does. He whispers that He is here. No matter what here looks like for each of us. He still has us covered and He still guards and protects our souls - just in time.

Today, I will remind myself that He doesn't think our lives are too ugly, complicated, or hard to keep Him from showing up. I'll thank Him for His constant presence and watching care. I will also remind myself that He is my caregiver! He's the best caregiver we could ever imagine. :-) So, I'll trust Him with today - will you join me?

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Check out my ebook store where you'll find this "I Will" Declarations from Psalms for just a buck! Download it today! I also have devotionals, study guides, poetry books, and free stuff! My Amazon bookshelf has some of these books on Kindle and for print - check them out!

Picking and Choosing?

This morning, I spent my devotional time preparing for the Facebook live devotions I do each morning. I was reading in Matthew 6:2 -34. Jesus was telling those listening to the Sermon on the Mount that they shouldn't worry about anything. He said to seek the Kingdom first - and all these things will be added. God knows what we need. 

After I finished the live session, I sat down at the computer to write this morning's devotion for caregivers. I know I should probably write a few ahead but I really like writing it each morning. It helps me focus for the day! 

I started thinking about how we talk a lot in this devotional about how we are complete in Him. We discuss how we still have all of His promises with nothing lacking. There are no exclusionary statements to limit caregivers' access to all of the blessings of God. I love that.

But then, I started thinking that if there are no exclusions for caregivers on the good stuff, then there are no exclusions on the requirements either. Well, we might not want to talk about that. lol. We really can't pick and choose though, right? Jesus didn't say everyone except caregivers should not worry about life, what they will wear, or what they will eat. Did He? Nope. Just like there are no exclusionary statements on all His goodness and blessings - there are none on His requirements.

Surely He knows how much harder that might be for us, right? We have all the "normal" things people worry about plus at least one other whole person to care for. Maybe He just forgot to mention that we are the only ones allowed to worry. I guess not.

We still must seek His kingdom first in our lives - even if it doesn't quite look like others' lives. We still must bring Him all our cares and anxious thoughts (though they are many!). But His peace will still guard our hearts and minds too! There's the good stuff. He will still feed us. He will still clothe us - and our caregivee! 

Today, I will thank Him for including caregivers and not excluding us from all His promises AND responsibilities. I can thank Him for taking care of my needs and still continue to refrain from worrying since I know He's got me. He's got you. When worry tries to pop its ugly head up today, I will remind myself that God's still got this. He is my (our) provider and He still hasn't changed His mind! So, I can trust Him for one more day - will you join me?

Handling "Moments"

 Are you just ever overwhelmed with emotions. I have those "moments" where I am just suddenly sad. I hope it's just me - but I have a good idea that you understand what I am talking about. I'm pretty sure it's all part of the living grief that comes with the loss of a person whose body and spirit are still here. Caregivers often have a lot of grief and sadness to work through. Most of the time, I'm good, especially if Chris is making progress, feeling well, and interacting some. But there are times when I am incredibly sad and miss who he was. It can be difficult in those moments to find solid footing again.

Of course, there are many chores and lots of work to keep my mind and body busy throughout the day - but if I'm not careful the sadness can sweep me away. I find myself struggling to find some small piece of peace.

What's a caregiver to do in those times? A "moment" can come on us unannounced, unprovoked, and certainly unwelcomed. Then, it starts nagging at our souls. David encouraged himself in the Lord - and we must follow suit. In 1 Samuel 30:6, David found himself in quite a pickle. The city had been burned his wives had been taken captive and the people were blaming him and talking of killing him to "rid themselves" of the evil. Well, I feel better now. lol.

David did what he did best - he went straight to the Lord. He asked God, "Shall I pursue the troop? Shall I overtake them?" (NKJ) Perhaps we should mimic his first response - he encouraged himself in the Lord - then inquired of Him. He asked himself hard questions, why are you cast down, o my soul? Why are you disquieted within me? (NKJ) - Then he answered - hope in God. Then he made a declaration - I will yet praise Him for He is my help. (Psalm 43)

When sadness, grief, or any other emotional struggle hits us - we can first allow ourselves to experience the emotion. Working through it means asking ourselves why we feel it - and if we can do anything about it. Then - we take it to Him. (No matter what our answer was to the hard questions!) And then comes the declarations - I will hope in God - He will be my help.

He shows up - every single time.

Today, I will turn my face to Him. I will look up to Him for I know like you know that our help comes from the Lord. I will remind myself that I do not carry this load alone - He's got me. He's got you today too. Today I will trust the keeper of my soul to keep my soul! I will trust the lover of my soul to love my broken soul. I will lean into Him today until I can feel Him breathe over this crazy heart and life as I trust Him with one more day. Will you join me?

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Check out my bookstores. I have eBook devotionals, Bible study guides, poetry, and more in my Dove's Fire Ministries bookstore. My Amazon bookshelf has a couple of those in print or on Kindle.