One End to the Other


 I've been MIA for a few days. Just been too much on the plate. I won't go through my long list as I know you have one of your own. If we compared the two, it's likely to contain some very similar items, I'm sure. Our day-to-day tasks of caregiving are probably almost identical. Then we each have our mix of extras that each have the potential to be the proverbial straw breaking the camel's back. Can you relate? 

I only have one thing to say about all that - But God. Doesn't He always come through? I often find myself on the other side of one of life's confusing mazes, wondering just how He got me through it. Honestly, I'm on the going-in side of one in my life right now - but I know He's never failed, and I know He'll show me where to put my feet. If I put my feet where He just stepped - I know I'll be good! I was pouring it all out in my journal this morning, and this little poem popped out... So, I wanted to share it with my fellow caregivers. I know you "get it."

One End to the Other 

Overload & overwhelm

That's my life right now

I need to rest

I need to work

But I don't know how.

Anxiety & Calm

Two extremes I know

It's all messed up

And it's all okay

Both ways my emotions go.

Forgetfulness & Memories

Rolled up into one

I'm sad

I'm glad

Maybe I'm just done.

Faith & Tenacity

I know who I trust 

He's got me, I remind myself

From beginning to the end.

Immovable & Present

That's the God I love

Carrying me

Helping me

Adoring me from above.

Settled & Sure

Resting in Him

It's how each day gets done

One foot 

In front of the other

Until life's race is run.

(C) J. Olinger 8/31/2022


He Can Match It!


 This morning, I woke up with our scripture from yesterday still on my mind. I meditated on it all day yesterday, so no wonder it was still dancing around in my head. As usual, when I turned back to Psalm 94:19 once again, I saw something new. It's funny because I know His word didn't change from yesterday to today - but I was in a new place today. 

Again, Psalm 94:19 says this: In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul. I noticed this morning as I read and reread this verse again that anxieties and comforts are both plurals. What that said to me was that God has comfort to match our anxieties. There's a comfort for every single concern or anxious thought we might drum up. 

As caregivers, we never know what a day will bring. This morning, we had a nurse visit at 8. That'll mess up your schedule. I also have to walk down to the office sometime today to pick up some supplies I ordered for Chris. No biggie - it's just one of those "one more things" that get piled on our full days, right? But the good news is that God's comfort can match it. We cannot come up with any anxiety that His comfort and peace can't match. He'll never say, oops, one too many today. You'll have to come back tomorrow.

He has enough grace, peace, comfort, and wisdom for everything life throws at us. His comforts can match the ebbs and flows of our emotions all day and all night long. That's amazing to me! I can't have too many worries (not that we are supposed to worry - but hey - we do) for Him to cover with grace. There are no circumstances that will put His output of comfort into overload. No situation will drain Him of His grace. Man, that's cool!

Today, I will remind myself that He's got me for one more day, and He won't clock out and go home no matter what comes my way. My meditation will be on how His comforts, grace, peace, and mercy can endure any situation, no matter how hard or easy. I may just sit here and sip my coffee a bit longer and rejoice that He's in it with me - and He's in it to win it! Will you join me?



Book cover of the 1 John Study Guide


I have two bookstores of devotionals, Bible study guides, poetry, and more! You can get my downloadable eBooks (some are free!) from Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore. A few of them are also available in print or for Kindle on Amazon!


In the Middle

 

Chris enjoying Bluff Creek

Boy, can my days get complicated fast! Trying to balance taking care of my son and working from home can become a bit overwhelming. You know that caregiving alone is a lot of responsibilities, and they are daily. There aren't really any days "off" because care has to be done every single day. Even if I slack on my work responsibilities, there's no time off from caregiving. 

It seems like lately, work has been my biggest stressor. Chris is doing well, but that means more time working him, stretching him, feeding him, and finding different things to stimulate his brain so it can rebuild. All of that is good, especially his progress, but it takes chunks of time. That can mean I have less time (and energy) to do the work that makes the money around here. Lol. I say all that to say - I get stressed. I know many of you can identify and have your own caregiving stressors to deal with.

But this morning, I read Psalm 94:19 with new eyes. It says, In the multitude of my anxieties within me, Your comforts delight my soul. There are three things that stood out to me. First - "in" my anxieties. Secondly, the anxieties within me (they are all inside of me - not outside). And thirdly, comforts is plural, so that indicates more than one comfort - or more than one time He'll comfort me. 

God sees our frustrations, worries, doubts, and anxieties. He's familiar with the ones we haven't even figured out we have yet. And He's got a comfort to match each and every one. I love that. But - what really stood out to me this morning was the "in" at the first of the verse. He doesn't tell me to get it all fixed and come back when I'm ready to listen. He doesn't tell me He'll wait until I'm not on edge anymore. He just walks right into my anxious thoughts and feelings and extends a comfort that matches it. Now, it is still up to me whether I want to embrace His comfort and peace - or stay in my anxious state. 

I love that He isn't afraid of my "anxious thoughts," and He doesn't distance Himself from me because of them. We find Him walking right up to us with peace and comfort right there in the multitude of our anxieties. When we are in the middle of crazy thoughts, He's right there too. He won't shun us, condemn us, or avoid us because our lives don't make sense to us in the moment. What a great God He is. My anxious thoughts will never scare Him away. In fact, the Prince of Peace may take a step closer in the middle of them just so I can experience His peace and grace.

Today, I'll remind myself that no matter how crazy and hectic my thoughts and emotions may become, He is in the midst of them, waiting for me to accept His peace. I will lean in to His heart today and wait for Him so that His peace can guard my heart and mind. Will you join me?


                                                                                                                                           


If you enjoy these devotionals, I have others! I've expanded my bookstore on Amazon. My devotionals are available in Kindle or print format. The new Bible study guides are now available on Kindle and in print! Check out my growing bookstore: 

I also recently opened my own bookstore. I'm presently filling it up with my books - check out the ones I have available in eBook format. You can download them and read them on your phone! Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore.

Grace to Sustain


 I am so thankful for His grace. We've talked about how there are threads of race throughout the Old Testament, even though we think of it as the time of the Law. Their culture and environment were harsh, too, so sometimes, we miss grace and mercy. But this weekend, as I was studying through the story of David and his sons, I found one of those strands of grace.

Right smack dab in the middle of 2 Samuel 14 is one such strand. If you read the chapters preceding and following this one, you'll find stories of rape, incest, anger, and murder... who needs TV? lol. We tend to lean toward fairy tale stories and think every one of them has a happy ending. We live in a world where we now expect a happy ending with everyone living happily ever after. This is one thing that has kept me from writing a book about my journey with my son - I don't have a "happy" ending yet. 

But in our lives, some stories don't have a happy ending - or they don't have the desired ending. Neither do the reports of lives we read in the Bible. Cain killed Able. Absalom killed Amnon (his brother too). You can't bring people back, and you can't right some wrongs. We are caregivers living in stories our lives are writing out, and everything about it isn't pretty, even though caregiving is beautiful. 

But in 2 Samuel 14:14, there is a nugget and a strand of grace in a not-so-beautiful story. It says, God tries to bring us back when we have been separated from Him. (NLT, 1996) I think we often don't expect to see this kind of grace in the harshness of the OT. But as I was reading this weekend, it was right there, literally in black and white. An extension of His grace in the midst of one of life's messiest moments. Since we know that God does not change (Hebrews 13:8, Malachi 3:6, James 1:17), we know that we also have this strand of grace extended to us.

Paul was in dire circumstances when he penned 2 Corinthians 12. I've heard it said that it was the darkest season of Paul's life. He prayed and asked God to remove his "thorn in the flesh." What was God's answer to him in that not-so-beautiful moment? My grace is sufficient for you. My power works best in your weakness. (NLT) Even though it wasn't the answer Paul wanted to hear, he went on to rejoice in his weakness, knowing it would allow him to see the power of Christ (grace) working through his circumstances.

Today, I will look for strands of grace. I know that I do not have the strength on my own to make it through a day - but it is God's sustaining grace that empowers me to continue to stand in Him by faith. I'll remind myself that He carries me when I cannot go on, and He will never complain about it either. I will utter prayers of thanksgiving as I place my heart in His hands and care as I try to navigate one more day. Will you join me?




                                                                                                                                           


If you enjoy these devotionals, I have others! I've expanded my bookstore on Amazon. My devotionals are available in Kindle or print format. The new Bible study guides are now available on Kindle and in print! Check out my growing bookstore: 

I also recently opened my own bookstore. I'm presently filling it up with my books - check out the ones I have available in eBook format. You can download them and read them on your phone! Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore.


But...

 


Over the weekend, I took some time for a little old-fashioned Bible study. I sat with my pen, journal, and coffee and just enjoyed traipsing through the scriptures. I pulled out my New Living Translation and then my Amplified Bible to get all I could out of each scripture. Finally, I ended up in Psalm 2, but my eyes went to my handwritten notes on Psalm 3 in my Amplified Bible. 

Psalm 3 was written by David during the time when he was running from Absalom, his son. Absalom was committing treason and trying to take the kingdom from David. I guess David was accustomed to running after those earlier years he spent running from Saul. He wrote in the first two verses about his despair and how it seemed like no one believed David had hope left. Then, verse three starts with but...David reminds himself, but You, O Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. Wow. I need to remind myself of that daily. But what about those handwritten notes? They led me to Jeremiah 20:7-13.

Jeremiah is feeling some overwhelm too. How about that, right there in the Bible! He has lost his friends, and everyone is murmuring against him. Jeremiah is to the point of giving up, then remembers that God's words are fiery inside of him, and he just can't. Like David, Jeremiah pours out his heart in verses 7 to 10. And then verse 11 starts with but... Jeremiah says, but the Lord is with me as a mighty warrior.

There was one more scripture written alongside the verses in Psalm 3. They are Micah 7:5-10. The prophet is talking about all those who are against him, whether they are real or perceived, it's just as traumatic! He even started the first verse of chapter 7 with Woe is me! He was feeling some pain now! Then in verse 7, Micah starts with but... Micah goes on to say, but as for me, I will look to the Lord and confident in Him I will keep watch; I will wait with hope and expectancy for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me.


I was blown away by these three passages. Each one was written by someone surrounded by grief and pain of some sort. I love how they felt like they could express their hearts. I love how each one turned it all to God. If we put that together, we could say the Lord is: a shield, my glory, lifter of my head, with me as a mighty warrior, my hope, my salvation - and He will hear me! That's some good stuff right there.

Today, I will let these nuggets roll around in my head as I remind myself that He's got me. He won't let go any time soon, either! He won't move away, walk away, or turn the other way. His strength, glory, hope, peace, and love are all right here to protect my heart and mind. I will remind myself that His glory has me surrounded! My meditations will be on that one little phrase, He will hear me. I believe that - do you?


                                                                                                                                                                

Support Systems

chris buckled in the van

 If you listen to the leading caregiving experts, mental health professionals, and medical providers, they will tell you how important it is to have a support system. My first thought is, well, great, I got no one. Lol. But when I expand my thinking a bit, I can list a whole host of home health nurses, doctors, specialists, and case managers that it takes to keep Chris happy and healthy. I have my niece, who comes faithfully on Fridays to give me a couple of hours for self-care or to run errands. And if I had an emergency, I have a couple of people I could call at least. 

If I expand my mind a little further, I can remind myself of numerous friends, literally around the globe, who I can call with prayer needs. There are at least 2 or 3 I could make a middle-of-the-night call to if need be. I wouldn't do that - waking them up probably wouldn't help the situation, but it helps to know they are there. Knowing there are people out there who can touch heaven when I need it most helps a lot! Maybe we should start a caregiver prayer network!!

Nature has support systems too. I have some roses that I bought myself last week. Don't judge - it's self-care. Lol! They are wilting and have "no hope." Why don't they have hope? Because there are no roots to help bring them back to life. While we can think of our support system as fingered roots, nothing beats being rooted in the Prince of Peace.

When we are rooted in Him, we have a support system that will never fail and never die. We have hope. I don't know what the Sons of Korah were dealing with when they wrote Psalm 42, but they seemed to be in distress. In verses 5 and 11, they mention being "cast down" or downcast. Then in true psalmist fashion, they encouraged themselves by saying, hope in God followed by their personal declaration, I shall yet praise Him. (NKJV) They recognized that no matter how low life's circumstances had pressed them, God was their help. 

Today, I will remind myself that all true hope comes from God. My meditations will be on being firmly planted and rooted in Him - the Prince of Peace. My declaration will be My hope is in God alone; I will praise Him. He doesn't change with the waves of life. He remains constant. And even if He ends up carrying me through today again - I can trust Him with my heart. Will you join me?


Today's FB Live video on hope and roots.



No Cancellations


I was recently invited to a friend's party, but I would need to fly to attend. There are always lots of factors at play when you are a caregiver trying to make travel arrangements. Sometimes, the tasks needed to schedule an outing are a deterrent. One of the biggest factors in my decision to NOT go on the trip this time was that airlines were canceling flights. It was problematic for many travelers who found themselves stuck in a remote location trying to get home. Not only did I not need to get stuck somewhere, I didn't want to put sitters in a position to try and figure out what to do with Chris in my extended absence. So, I chose not to go.

I've thought about the trip I missed a lot. I wish I could have gone. But I do feel like it was the best choice, the most responsible one. It was frustrating, though, to feel like I was at the mercy of airlines that might or might not provide the services I paid for. 

My thoughts soon turned to thanksgiving as I realized God doesn't ever have cancellations. He never tells us, never mind.  And, of course, He won't leave us stranded! What He has said - is said, and remains. He will not cancel His peace, grace, mercy, or love! He never takes us somewhere and then tells us its' not convenient to get us back home. 

God continues to love with the same love He's always had for us. His peace is still intact. His mercy and grace still cover and carry us. He will not cancel anything. He didn't even cancel the cross. And no one would have blamed Him if He had. Everything He's said, done, and given us still stands. Time won't erase them or make them fade. And He's not going to cancel any of them - ever!

Today, I will be thankful for His consistency. My meditations will be on all the things He has done and continues to do for us. I'll rejoice in the truth that He won't cancel His assignment of love toward me! Will you join me?


                                                                                                                                                                

The Chase

  This morning, I was reading about Benaiah in 2 Samuel 23. He was one of David's mighty men, and these three or so verses are all we kn...