Daily Devotions for Caregivers

 Hey my caregiver warriors! No one understands the everyday battles faced by those of us in the trenches! Am I right about that? I was reading a book this week and it mentioned something about warriors being allowed to weep. After a few minutes, as I thought about the power of that statement - I wrote this poem. So, straighten your armor, tighten your helmet, and let's trust God for one more day! The Weeping Warrior The long, hard battle is far from over But the weary warrior seeks reprieve – Taking but a moment to think – to live – to breathe.   She pries her white-knuckled fists from the handle And steps away from the sword, bloody still – Just one step as a single tear slips by The heavy scents of battle hang in her nostrils Tears come like a river – then a torrential rain Falling down her cheeks – carrying away the pain.   Helmet half-cocked – shoes ragged and torn Fingers poking through tears in her gloves But the warrior refuses to mourn.   It’s time to go- tim...

 This weekend, I was talking to a friend about some of my grandmother's writings. I had started a project and kind of let it slide in the busy-ness of caregiving. But as I was rummaging through time stained papers I found another poem my grandmother wrote. The date she scribbled on the top only says, Jan 9. There is no year, but it would have been before 1966, since that was the year she passed from this life to the arms of Jesus. Since there is no date, I have no idea of what she may have been going through at the time. But apparently, she was facing some difficult times. I found hope and comfort in her writings. I want to share the poem with you - I hope it encourages you today too. Dear Father God, You've given me So many precious, lovely things And now I've learned to wait on Thee To bear me up on eagle's wings. How intimate these last few years- I've learned to listen to Your Voice- And looking up thro' falling tears To make Your holy Will my choice. How qu...

  I like reading self-help books, but I'm not sure how much some of them really help. Lol. But I try. Most recently, I picked up It's Okay if You're Not Okay.  It's about grief and how we all work through the process differently. Each caregiving environment comes with its own pre-packaged grief to work through. It's complimentary and included for free. Lol. Kind of like a staff infection when you go to the hospital.. just comes along with the deal. (I'm kidding.. mostly!) As I read, I realized that I really did have a lot of unexpressed pain and grief stuffed inside - my pain was voiceless. That's when this poem popped out - I share it with you hoping you'll relate - but I'll be glad if you don't. In the midst of the pain - the grief - the sorrow - God is there. Even though this is not expressed in this poem - know that I know God is present with me. His presence isn't a remedy for pain and it doesn't make grief go away. But it does allow...

 I've been MIA for a few days. Just been too much on the plate. I won't go through my long list as I know you have one of your own. If we compared the two, it's likely to contain some very similar items, I'm sure. Our day-to-day tasks of caregiving are probably almost identical. Then we each have our mix of extras that each have the potential to be the proverbial straw breaking the camel's back. Can you relate?  I only have one thing to say about all that - But God.  Doesn't He always come through? I often find myself on the other side of one of life's confusing mazes, wondering just how He got me through it. Honestly, I'm on the going-in side of one in my life right now - but I know He's never failed, and I know He'll show me where to put my feet. If I put my feet where He just stepped - I know I'll be good! I was pouring it all out in my journal this morning, and this little poem popped out... So, I wanted to share it with my fellow caregiv...

Do you ever feel like you've reached the end of what you can do? It may stem from pure exhaustion, but it feels like it's a "that's it" moment. It feels like God doesn't hear. It feels like He has moved away. There are just those times of overwhelm. Or maybe it's just me. I do think that the psalmist was feeling these types of emotions when he penned Psalm 13. It's not clear what type(s) of circumstances David was facing, but his emotions are clear. His soul is crying out for God to intervene. In the New Living Translation, Psalm 13 reads this way: O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, O Lord my God! Restore the light to my eyes, or I will die. Don't let my enemies gloat, saying, "We have defeated him!" Don't let them rejoice at my downfall. B...

We've all had to make some adjustments during this pandemic. One thing I am grateful for is having my son home with me.  My aunt is in one nursing facility and my mom in another. Fortunately, both nursing homes have been proactive about connecting residents with their loved ones via technology. I can call and Facetime with my mom and I can send a message to skype with my aunt. I try to visit with each of them at least once a week. Monday, I talked with my aunt for a bit. Today, I got to visit with my mom.  Mama doesn't talk much anymore. She will answer questions, mostly "yes" or "no" questions. She giggles a lot and cries when I call. The calls don't last too long as there isn't a whole lot to talk about with them. But today I decided to read mama one of my grandma's poems. (Her mother.) She seemed to really respond and acted like she enjoyed it.  As I was reading it, I thought about how appropriate it is today. My grandmother wrote...

This morning I took some time to pour my heart out in my journal. My heart has been heavy for some time now. There are many things going on - but I'll spare you the details. (You're welcome!) If you haven't tried journaling, it can be a good strategy for stress relief. It's a safe place to let it all hang out!  I had stopped for a while but this year I have picked it back up. Let me just say that I put more than my woes in my journal. I usually end with a prayer - or I write what God is showing me, what I am learning - and all those deep philosophical questions that rarely have answers. It's a polite catch-all for my sundry, sometimes crazy thoughts. As I finished up the entry this morning, I ended with a couple of statements which became the first two lines of this poem: Lord, hold me and hide me Let me know You are beside me As life's turbulent tides Roll over and over me -  Comfort me - pull me close and help me see There's more to life...

Yesterday was a rough day, rougher than usual. As caregivers, our emotions often stay on the edge and it doesn't take much to tip us off. Well, yesterday was my tipping off point. The everyday stuff for us is enough, isn't it? I mean, come on life - my mom has dementia, I am an LD caregiver for my aunt (I went to see yesterday), and I am a full-time caregiver for my adult son who is total care due to a brain injury. Too many things have happened in the last couple of days and my emotions, nerves, mind, etc. are all on edge. Why can't life just let up a little now and then? I came home from seeing my aunt in the nursing home and was a bit frazzled. My heart and mind were racing. For me, one strategy for not getting taken down in life's swifter currents is to do something different. Not work. Not my norm. I spied a briefcase I'd brought in from the garage as I've been going through my aunt's things. As I unlatched it and opened up the top to see a poem...

I'm sitting here crying for someone I do not know... Their story just came across my feed... An accident, an injury, a brain bleed... Terms I know too well on a path I've traveled too long.. My heart hurts and I don't even know their name... I'm crying with parents, loved ones and friends... Knowing that the pain and grief never ends... Now I'm praying for someone I don't even know... never knew before... My eyes turn loose of tears I'd held in from my own pain... As I remember the early parts of my own journey... I know what they can endure - what they may face... Those long days of hoping, praying, believing... Long nights just watching them keep breathing... Don't stop.... please don't stop... Then there's the waiting... Dark nights, warm tears, terrible coffee... Uncertainty abounds - so many ifs... If there's a future what does it look like now? If dreams are still valid... If there's life after this... If ...

Some days it's all a caregiver can do to just keep breathing. I tease a lot about trying to remember to breathe and keeping that a top priority. But sometimes it really does feel like the life is being sucked out of you. Of course, there are many blessings that go with caregiving, but some days they are harder to find than others. No matter what our caregiving story - it's filled with difficulties. I try to keep a positive attitude but that's a fight at times. This morning, in an attempt to protect my sanity I decided to start trying to journal again. I am glad I did as I hadn't made an entry since June. (I used to write in my journal everyday BC.) I found this poem I had penned. I hope you get a little something out of it. Who am I to catch the King's gaze? To know...     He sees    He Knows    He hears The deepest sighs from the place where no words live The part of me that carries it all... with nothing left to give. The part of me where no...

While it is a joy and an honor to take care of our loved ones, there is a very painful side to caregiving. Our hearts hurt on many levels. Personally, I grieve the loss of my son and all he could have become. I also grieve the loss of my mom - who she was before dementia. And now, as life has brought more change, I grieve for my daddy who is struggling with this part of life too. He has spent over 50 years with mama - she has been his life. Much like my son, she is still here  but gone. Last night I called my mom's sister to explain the new arrangements with mom. She didn't take it too well. She is grieving her loss of mobility as she is barely getting around with a walker at 87 and is needing more constant care. Can I say, my heart hurts? People are mostly gracious and compassionate to caregivers. But there are times when you are looked down on as if you don't have faith - or you wouldn't be in this situation. I have felt this from church-like folks many times. T...

I've always been open and honest about my feelings and how I have dealt with caregiving. I usually at least try to clean it up a bit before I spill it out on the page for the world to see though. Maybe a "thank you" is in order! (Just kidding - lighten up!) It seems I've found a way to deal with caregiving at least a little more gracefully than when I started the journey. There are daily struggles, as you all know, and numerous battles along the way. Caregiving isn't for the faint in heart. We give up our dreams, our goals, our jobs, other relationships, and our lives to serve the one we love. On one hand, it's the obvious choice and it seems easy; and on the other hand it's the most difficult job in the world. One of my biggest struggles personally was giving up ministry. I had goals and dreams and passions that seemed to fall by the wayside as I stepped into the role of caregiving. Over time, I've seen God stir some of those up and even though ...

This morning during my devotions this poem just came to me. As caregivers, it can feel like we live in a storm; one that never goes away. My heart is set - I will trust Him no matter what a day brings. Here's the poem I got this morning - I hope it speaks to someone today. Through the Storm Lord I want to know You In the midst of the storm To see You walk on water And tell my heart "peace, be still" Let me.... Feel You, hear You, touch You As life rocks along I trust You have me  In the center of Your will Carry me above The deceit of wind and waves May I hear You above the roar To be with You is all I crave May I not be distracted By the crashing tide For I'm tucked in tight Held close by Your side Though the storm keeps raging May my soul keep seeking And may I listen carefully To hear You speaking Peace be still... I'll be still... and Know You are God (c) May 21, 2016 J. Olinger