The Outback

 I do not think that all caregivers are depressed! Lol. But I do think that as a society, we deal with depression a lot. Mental health is a hot topic, and as caregivers, we have to be in charge of our own mental health. And that can be a very rough road. Not to brag, but I can go from totally elated (90 miles an hour) to utterly depressed (0 miles an hour) in just about a second and a half. Things hit us hard, and it can be a constant struggle to keep our heads above water, so to speak. 

I've shared a few strategies for beating caregiver's fog, which really stems from overwhelm and emotional stress. Each day can feel like a struggle to breathe emotionally, and many of us do it alone. I think that's why Psalm 25:16 captured me. David said he was alone and depressed. Two things the church culture doesn't want us to admit. Why? They don't know what to do with it and with us - because we cannot just confess it away. We can beat it, but we have to do it over and over and over again. It can be exhausting.

David knew a few things about being alone. Think about the first time we heard about David in the scriptures. It's in 1 Samuel 16. Saul has been the God-appointed king, but he messed up royally (pun intended!). God told the prophet Samuel to go anoint one of Jesse's sons as the next king of Israel. He didn't even give the prophet the kid's name. 

Samuel told Jesse to bring all his sons to the sacrifice and meal he was preparing. He went through and concentrated them all. However, there was a small problem. None of Jesse's sons were the ones God had chosen. So, he asked Jesse if this was all of his sons. Jesse replied that it was all of them, except the youngest, who was keeping the sheep. Samuel said, "I'll wait."

Jesse didn't even call David to the table when the prophet specifically asked him to bring all his sons. David was left alone in the back pasture watching the sheep. And we know he had a sheep-sitter because when he went to face Goliath in a few chapters, he left the sheep with a keeper. Why didn't Jesse bring David? Was he not proud of David? Some theologians suggest that David may have been an illegitimate son. Who knows for sure? 

David could have focused on that rejection. He could have been consumed with it. Perhaps he had abandonment issues. I don't know. But what I do know is that God saw David sitting out there alone with his sheep, and He had the prophet wait for him. God is a heart-seeker. He goes after the hearts that are turned toward Him, and He meets them wherever they are. 

God sees us, too. Even if we feel abandoned and overlooked, like we're sitting out in the back pasture! He will wait for us and inconvenience everyone else until we are there.

Today, I will remind myself that God can see me sitting in that back pasture all alone as I watch over my loved one (His sheep). He knows the love and care I put in every single day, and He takes note of it. He patiently waits until I am at the table. Just like God saw every move, every rejection, and every accusation against David, God sees us too. In fact, God was out back with David while he was caring for his father's sheep. God is sitting in the outback with us too! He sees every move. Every solitary moment. Every emotion. Every tear. Every joy....everything. And He still calls us to the table and waits for us to get there. I love that He waits for me when I am overcome with sheep-caring. I'm willing to trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

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BOOK OF THE WEEK: 31 Days in Psalm 31 What was David thinking about during some of his hardest trials? 31 Days in Psalm 31 is a devotional that spends 31 days with God in the cave.