Dwelling Places

Yesterday, we a talked about how God is our dwelling place. He has been since Adam and will be until the end of time. But right after I posted it, I had another thought. Immediately I went to Psalm 84:1 which says, how lovely are your dwelling places O Lord. My head and my heart went wild!

Guess where His dwelling place is? It's us. No exclusions - anyone who makes Him welcome - He'll abide with. I think it's awesome that He planned it that way from the beginning. Before He said, "Let there be light" He had planned the way for us to get back to Him. I love it, it's like He fixed what was broken before it even broke. That's an intense desire to be with us, don't you think?

As caregivers, it often seems like people don't want to be around us. It's not just because we are caregivers, but sometimes it can make them uncomfortable. They may want to help, but are not sure how to do so. They may want to talk, but are unsure of what to say. I don't know about you, but I still like the same things I liked before caregiving. We still like having coffee, eating with friends and hanging out. It may look different, it may be more difficult to arrange meetings, but we still need it. For me, it's sparse, but every now and then it happens and it's sweet when it does.

God is always available to us. I see no exclusionary statements in Psalm 84:1. He didn't say he wanted to dwell among everyone except caregivers. There's no note in Psalm 84 that all His dwelling places are lovely and none of them are caregivers. Actually, he is near the brokenhearted according to Psalm 34:18. He is also close to those who trust Him and a strong refuge to those who trust in Him. (Nahum 1:7) If He makes any "exceptions" then he draws closer to the caregiver, carries the burdens we allow Him to and carries us when we can't take another step.

If there were any exceptions they'd be for us - more grace, more mercy, more peace, more provision, more of His presence to make each day. He is our dwelling place, and we are His dwelling place - so intertwined we are inseparable. I love that image of being in Him and He in us. I love it that we are not left out or abandoned because He doesn't know what to do with us like it feels people do.

Today I will meditate on the truth that He is my dwelling place - and I am His. I'm going to relish the thought that he desires to be with me. My thoughts will be on getting close to Him and staying there. I'll let Him pull me in a little bit closer, a little bit tighter; and I'll let Him hold me. Will you join me?

All Generations

It was a full Mother's Day here. My daughter and SIL helped me load up Chris and my aunt to go be with my mom for MD. Talk about a sight! We got Aunt Polly in one car and loaded Chris and his chair in the other. I teased about having a mobile nursing home. lol But it was worth it to see my mom and her sister together. We also got some 4-generation pictures I may share later.

After we got home last night, my aunt and I discussed some of the hard decisions she and I are having to make. It's such a delicate subject, but so a part of caregiving. I'm glad to have her input, but I'm not sure we can do it like she wants. We will see.

I was pretty stressed out - but I think I'm also learning a lot about life, faith, caregiving and myself with this new perspective on caregiving. After we talked awhile, I reminded her of Psalm 90:1 where Moses wrote, Lord, You have been our dwelling place in all generations. The four generations represented at the celebration today all trust Him. It thrills my heart to see the younger ones continuing in ministry - they are the 14th generation of ministry in our family. God has been our dwelling place - He is now our dwelling place and He will continue to be our dwelling place as future generations continue to know and trust Him.

While that ministered to me a lot, it also got me to thinking. (I know - that really surprises you, right? lol) Moses wrote this psalm. Moses came on the scene in the first parts of Exodus. There had been many generations already who knew and trusted God. Adam, Noah, Abraham, Isaac, Jakob, Joseph..... when Moses wrote it though, I wonder if he had a clue that here in 2018 we'd be reading it with many thousands of generations between us...and we're still acknowledging Him as our dwelling place. When we say "He has been our dwelling place in all generations" we cover a LOT more territory than when Moses first wrote it.

I look at the oldest family member, Aunt Polly at 85 (don't tell her I told you her age), and the youngest at the reunion yesterday, my great-niece Emma at nearly 2 and I think - throughout all our generations He continues to be our dwelling place. We've been through so many things like all the other families out there, but He continues to carry, shelter, protect and provide.

Today I will just be grateful that He didn't jump out when I hit the scene. I'll thank Him that He didn't look at my double-caregiving situation and say He'd reached His limit. He continues to carry, to hold, to protect and provide. He is still my dwelling place - and He isn't going to change that. He presented Himself to the world as a hiding place and a shelter before He ever said, "Let there be light." That just blows my mind. And I'll just let it as I crawl up next to His heart today - and dwell in Him as I trust Him for just one more day. Will you join me?

Boxed In

There are lots of reasons for caregivers to be tired. Sometimes, we stay tired. It takes all our strength to keep putting one foot in front of another to make a day. Lately, I've had times it feels like it takes everything I've got to just to breathe.  I kinda hope I'm all alone on that - and kinda hope someone understands at the same time.

In the photo with me is my dear Aunt Polly. She's been living in a home provided by a wonderful ministry that takes care of widows. However, at this point, her care needs have exceeded the scope of their capacity. I went to pick her up last week. She's staying with me until "we" whoever that is, can figure out a plan for her care. What an honor it is to be trusted with both her and my son's care. My heart is full - but so are my hands!

In the complexity of the situation and the overwhelming emotions, stress, and thinking, I've reached a conclusion that may seem unrelated. I want to live outside this box. Of course, I'm not talking about changing the "box" life's situations have put me in. What I mean is I don't want to be self-consumed with the things I deal with. It's so easy to do - and it's even fair. As caregivers, we have TONS on our plate. It can so easily become all about me.

Being given, or forced into, this situation lol - has me thinking. It's too easy to become self-absorbed with what's on our plate. In one way, it's natural. But I want to see past my box. Somehow, I want to touch other's lives with the gospel of peace. We can still be the light. There is always someone watching. In my deep contemplations, I've decided to find ways to minister to others. I refuse to be boxed in.

Obviously, I can't "go" to the mission field like my heart's desires were to do, but I can find ways to reach outside my box. I invited my neighbor over for coffee and forged a friendship with her. I really want to make baskets and take them to ICU waiting rooms. I'll fill them with items that we often don't have there like toothbrushes, small hand lotions, q-tips, snacks, etc. That's something that's been on my heart for a long time. It's time to do it - because I refuse to focus on myself. I want to focus on Him and His children. I'm going to live outside this box - even though I'm boxed in.

Today, I'm going to thank Him for my box. Seriously. I'm going to be thankful that I know Him in a capacity I might have never known had life never placed me in this box. I'll thank Him for His mercy, His grace to make it, His patience with me and then I'll thank Him again for being patient with me! lol I'll nestle right up next to His heart and listen for His breath as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

He Speaks

I was looking for a particular scripture this morning. I knew it said that nothing was impossible with God, and I knew it was in Jeremiah. Well, I found it but it didn't use the exact words I thought it did. It was okay though since I found a small treasure there I want to share with you today.

In Jeremiah 32, the prophet has been imprisoned for saying God's words. The kind didn't like that Jeremiah prophesied his doom because of an unrepentant heart. So he locked Jeremiah up in the prison. It can be easy for us to "lock up" words God speaks when we don't like them or if they don't agree or support our own theologies. That's an important truth I might expound on in some other writings, but what I want to focus on is found in verse 6.

Jeremiah 32:6 NLT says this: at that time God sent me a message. God came to Jeremiah and gave him some specific instructions. What stood out to me was that Jeremiah is in prison through no fault of his own, and God spoke. I can't say for sure what types of possibilities were going through the prophet's mind, but I'm sure the future didn't look too pleasant to him. there were a lot of really bad and really good outcomes possible. But God did not regard his situation as done. He didn't see Jeremiah too far gone, He didn't give up on the situation or judge by the circumstances. He reached down and spoke to Jeremiah right where He was.

This morning, I was greatly comforted by this passage. God really does see us. He knows our situation. He doesn't judge our hearts by the circumstances we have found ourselves in. He doesn't restrain His voice or restrict His promises because caregiving is beyond his sphere of influence. Nope! He reaches right into the very heart of the matter and He speaks.

That puts it back on us to not be so encumbered by our situations that we cannot hear Him. Hey, it can happen. Caregiving requires a lot out of us - no one doubts that. But it doesn't have to make our ears dull when it comes to hearing the gentle voice of God speak into our hearts.

Today, I'll be listening intently for His voice to speak into my "prison" cell. Maybe it's only those areas of my life and heart that I've locked up and away to keep them safe from life. My meditations will be on any closed in areas I'm protecting - and how I can turn my ear to His heart once again. I'll listen for Him to speak as I trust Him for one more day - will you join me?


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Faith-Full

I was completely refreshed this morning while reading in Lamentations. In church circles this Old Testament book isn't referred to very much. Jeremiah wrote it as he was in a deep state of grief over the captivity of his nation and people. He most likely shed many tears as he processed through the painful losses he watched. We don't often talk about grief or pain in Christian circles as those who experience and endure such things are considered faithless or substandard. It might be spoken out loud with words, but it is frequently communicated by actions and indirectly.

Many caregivers deal with some level of grief on a day to day basis. Jeremiah often called the "weeping prophet" gave in to his grief with tears and writing. In chapter 3 his prayer is: remember my affliction and y wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. Surely my soul remembers and is bowed down within me.  He is open and honest about how he feels - his memories weighed down his soul. I relate. Memories can be a wonderful blessing and soul agonizing at the same time.

Jeremiah goes on in verse 21 to say: this I call to mind, therefore I have hope. The Lord's lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail. they are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness. It's so good to remember He is faithful. Whether we are faithless, or full of faith- He stays at the always full of faith mark!

Jeremiah goes on to say, the Lord is my portion, therefore I have hope in Him." I for one am so thankful that He is my portion and He never gets tired of me and says - enough. One time I had a mentor who told me that people "couldn't handle" a lot of me. It didn't really hurt my feelings until later when I realized what she meant. lol.. I'm a bit slow sometimes. Father God never tells me that He doesn't have the patience to deal with me or my issues. He never says it's just too much for Him. Never has He said He was at the capacity of cares He could carry for a day... I will place my hope in Him - the One who carries it all - who carries us all and I will trust in Him.

Today, I will put all my efforts into trusting in His strength and not my own. I will rest in His faithful love and mercy and trust Him to carry me and all my "stuff" for one more day. Will you join me?

Immovable

My devotions this morning were centered on Psalm 125:1-2. This song of ascent states Those who trust in the Lord are as Mount Zion, which cannot be removed but abides forever. As the mountains surround Jerusalem, so the Lord surrounds His people from this time forth and forever.

I read, then re-read these two verses. When we trust in Him - not ourselves, not our situations or abilities, we are immovable. It's taken me a long time to come back to saying this really - but I trust Him.

When my son was first injured I was angry with God for allowing it to happen. Afterall, I was headed to Africa so I was trusting Him to take care of my kids. The trip was abruptly halted with a phone call that Saturday morning in November 2008, and I no longer trusted Him. In my mind, He should have protected my son, or at least offered a sudden healing. When neither happened, I sunk down into despair. It's taken me a long time to be able to trust again. It's been a process.

First, I had to realize my feelings were normal for the situation. Then there was the process of working through them. But there are days when the process has to be worked back through, often over and over again....

I can now say that I trust Him again, even in the situation, and even though the situation hasn't changed. It's taken me 10 years to get here. My faith-er background taught me, perhaps indirectly, that I trusted Him so "bad things" wouldn't happen. But now I have to say I trust Him in every situation - good and bad. To some, it may sound like I've backslid concerning faith. But nothing is further from the truth.

We've talked about our Bible heroes many times and the fact that it was the stuff they went through and came out trusting Him that makes them a hero of the faith - not the lack of obstacles, but the going through, around, over, under or over in spite of adverse circumstances. We talk about Joseph a lot in Christian circles and refer to his years in the prison, but we pass over the many growing up years spent as a slave first. We discuss God's power to restore all that was taken from Job - without facing the truth that he first walked through losing everything. There is no restoration without loss. There can be no healing without sickness, no provision without lack and no relief without pain. It's all about going through. It's about trusting Him in the midst of life's storms.

Today, I will remind myself of His faithfulness and how worthy He is of my trust. My meditations will be on how He has not given up on me or left me alone in my situation. I'll think about how He walks with me and waits for me to look to Him for provision, peace, comfort and love. I'll lean into Him just a little closer today as I trust Him one more time for one more day. Will you join me?

He's Got This!

This morning my Bible seemed to fall open to Psalm 121 which is, of course, one of my favorites like all the others. It brings me a calm assurance that He is with me, He won't faint, He will keep me no matter what life may throw at me today. Each verse for me bears a promise I can hold on to.

I will life up my eyes to the hills, where shall my help come from?
Obviously, our help isn't in the mountains or the hills. One version reads "does my help come from there?" It does not. Maybe David was surveying the mountains around Jerusalem as he was asking for help and strength to face whatever might be present or next. He answers his own question in verse two.

My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.
This is a statement of faith. God is my help. Period. And since He created and sustains heaven and earth - He's big enough to walk through this situation with me - carrying me - helping me. I will keep my eyes on Him!

He will not allow your foot to slip; he who keeps you will not slumber or sleep.
He sustains me. I do not sustain myself. He will keep me from slipping, from falling beneath the load of caregiving, from the onslaught of my own emotions. He does not sleep on the job, won't doze off while I'm talking to Him, and is awake and attentive to my needs. He keeps me.

The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
I am not in charge of keeping me. He is. He will hold me, comfort me, and keep me intact spiritually, emotionally and physically. He is my shade - the protector of my right hand - signifying my "power." He provides my strength and provides protection for it by shading it from the heat. It's only up to me to stay under that shade where I am safe and secure.

The sun will not smite you by day, nor the moon by night.
I understand He protects us from the sun - the heat of the day which can dry us out. It can bear down on us and cause us to become dehydrated - exactly why we need to stay refreshed in His Spirit and the word. He keeps us from being dried out and getting blown away by the "heat" life turns up from time to time. But the moon? Who needs protection from the moon? I do. It is in those night seasons that the pain intensifies. It's those long nights when the fevers go high and my faith falls short. A long, lonely, dark night can sap the soul's strength. But He protects us from being smitten during the night seasons.

The Lord will protect you from evil; He will keep your soul.
God keeps the "forever" parts of us. The body may fail, but He keeps the soul - the part that makes us uniquely us. He keeps the part of us that lives on when the body dies, it's a forever protection. Talk about being "covered" by insurance! He's got us - nothing, absolutely nothing can get to our innermost being as long as we stay hidden in His heart. He protects the part of us that matters the most and nothing can harm our spirit. We are in Him.

The Lord will guard your going out and your coming in from this time forth and forever.
He's got this. He's got us. On the days, hours, minutes or the few seconds we may feel like we have it all together and under control - He's got us. On those days, weeks, months and years we feel like life is falling apart around us or going on without us - He's got us. Regardless of how we feel, He's got us. Forever.

Today, I will meditate on this psalm and the truths it contains. I will rest in Him just a little easier knowing He's got me covered day and night, He's guarding my heart and my soul, He is my shade and He watches over me purposefully intent on keeping me and presenting me before Himself spotless and pure. I will yield to Him today and trust that He's got this. He's got me! Will you join me?