This morning, I was working on a couple of new devotionals that I hope to have ready to put in my bookstore soon. One of the things I was studying was how God orders our steps. I pulled out an old-school Stong's concordance, which is still based in King James. I found this very interesting phrase listed out of Job. It said, "I used to wash my steps with butter...." I had to look it up to see what in the world it was talking about!
I opened to Job 29 and started reading, and soon realized that Job was mourning his former life. He was listing out what his life looked like before he lost his children, his riches, and his health. In verses 2 through 6, he says, I long for the years gone by when God took care of me, when he lighted the way before me, and I walked safely through the darkness. In my early years, the friendship of God was felt in my house. The Almighty was still with me, and my children were around me. In those days, my cows produced milk in abundance, and my olive groves poured out streams of olive oil. (NLT)
I am guessing that the translators decided that "washed my steps with butter" meant that his cows were producing lots of milk. Lol. As I continued reading, I felt Job's pain. He was remembering how life was before. I've done that a lot. Grief and mourning are part of caregiving. For me, it means grieving over the son I lost in that wreck while loving the one who is still with me. Who he was is gone. Life was different.
It was similar to my mom, who had some form of dementia. I grieved over who she had been as I watched her slowly slip away. The story of many caregivers, right? Grief is not a sin. Mourning over what was lost is not wrong. We are allowed to feel. I wonder if people don't want us to "process" our raw and real emotions because THEY don't know what to do with them. But God will take them all!
Soon after Job poured out his heart, as we talked about yesterday, God answered. God strengthened Job and restored him when he prayed for his friends. So, even though it feels like it lasts forever, God will not leave us in our pain. He walks with us on the rough and rocky roads of life. Sings to us. Lifts us up, and carries us often. He will meet us in our pain, and never shuns us because we grieve over what was lost. We can trust Him.
Today, I will lift up my pain, emotions, grief, and mourning to Him, knowing that I am still welcome in His presence. He won't turn me away, or ask me to come back later after I "get over it." He fully understands there are some things that we will never "get over." I'll turn my soul to Him and let it cry out my heart to His heart, and I'll let Him carry me today. That's how much I trust Him. Will you join me?
I also recently opened my own bookstore. I'm presently filling it up with my books - check out the ones I have available in eBook format. You can download them and read them on your phone! Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore.