Posts

Broken or Broken?

Image
Does it ever feel like life is broken? I have those days when everything feels broken. It can be in one specific area or (usually) several areas. Everything seems like it's out of place, and nothing is working or going like it should. It's exasperating, physically, mentally, and emotionally.  I mention being in the crucible of life a lot, maybe because I feel like I'm there A LOT! It feels like life is just pressing in and pressing the life out of me sometimes. But even in this "broken" state - I know God has me and I am not broken. Being broken before God doesn't mean we are broken. We may be brokenhearted and poor in spirit,  meaning we are very familiar with our deeply intense need for Him. That's the opposite of being broken... it just means we are smart enough to figure out in our brokenness, we need Him more than anything.  I love that God made it clear in the Word that He is with us when we feel broken. Psalm 34:18 says that He is near the brokenhea...

From Among the Rubble

Image
I made it to Nehemiah 2! The story just fascinates me. I love Nehemiah's dedication to rebuilding the walls, even though it looked impossible. He was faced with a huge chore, plus physical enemies who tried to talk him out of it and tried to discourage him on every side.  In Nehemiah 2:14-18, it talks about Nehemiah surveying the walls. In one area, the rubble was piled such that even his donkey couldn't navigate through it. Donkeys are classic pack animals. They are some of the oldest domesticated animals used to transport goods. This was partly due to their ability to carry heavy loads across difficult terrain. Yet, the wall was in such disrepair that his donkey couldn't walk across it. That's some major destruction! If I'm honest, and I usually am, there are times when I feel like my emotions are broken beyond repair. Emotions can be difficult to manage, and even harder to explain. But the difficulty of navigating heaps of rubble didn't stop Nehemiah. He was ...

Even If...

Image
  I've spent quite a bit of time in Nehemiah the last year or so. I taught a class via Zoom in Pakistan, and we went through the entire book. I am currently turning all those notes into a study guide. Hopefully, I'll make better progress on it and get it done soon!  I didn't realize how full of prophetic action Nehemiah is. Intriguing as that is, it's not usually that that draws me back over and over. I also used Nehemiah for my leadership conferences. It's such a great book for all of us, and for leaders. It works for leadership, and that's why I included Nehemiah in the four men studied in Making of a Leader. So, this morning, I found myself going back through Nehemiah. Honestly, I looked at the first page of the book and thought, why isn't this more marked up? lol. As my eyes ran back over chapter 1, a phrase jumped out at me. It's in verse 9. It is in Nehemiah's prayer, and he says,  even if you are exiled to the ends of the earth, I will bring y...

Promises, Promises

Image
I make a lot of promises, mostly to myself. One promise I make is every night as I am lying down, I promise tomorrow I'll work harder. I'll do better. Another frequent promise I've been making to myself is to talk kinder to ME! Yesterday, I was encouraging Chris as I was transfering him from bed to chair. I wondered if I could say those things to myself.  Good job! Way to try! I've got you! Negative self-talk is so destructive, but it seems to go with the territory. I don't know why. Perhaps because we are in a constant state of overwhelm. Maybe because we feel inadequate. Or maybe it's because no matter how much we do, we never feel we've accomplished it all. Who knows? So, this morning I was looking for some positives to speak to my soul. I found a whole list of things in Isaiah 49. I think sometime last year I did a series of sorts on these points. But this morning, I wanted to string them all together to encourage myself and you, too! This seems to be pa...

Will You Come Now?

Image
 This week, I re-explored the story of the 3 Hebrew Children. The king had set up an idol and demanded that everyone bow down to it when they heard the music start. Hananiah, Mishael, and Azariah refused to bow to any god but God. The king threatened to throw them into a fiery furnace, which would mean sure death. They still refused to bow. I love their faith statement. Our God is able to deliver us, they said. But if He doesn't, we still won't bow. They must have had some doubt that God was going to come riding in on His proverbial white horse to deliver them. But they were resolute. Even if...  they would not bow! I wonder what they thought as the day began to unfold. God didn't come before the ropes were tightly secured around their hands. Maybe they looked toward heaven and asked, Are you coming now? No sign yet. They were led toward the furnace, which was being heated up 7 times more than normal, to represent the king's anger toward them.    Just before they get...

Sunflower Rhapsody

Image
 I LOVE my flowers. I enjoy houseplants, too. Maybe it's because I love being surrounded by life and beauty. The last couple of years, I haven't had the money to buy any outside plants. But this year, I went ahead and splurged even though the budget was super tight. I am so glad I did!  My inside, fully shaded patio has greenery and beautiful flowers hanging, creating a small haven where I can sip tea and read if I get a minute or two. My other patio has LOTS of sunshine most of the day, so this year I tried sunflowers, and I was not disappointed! I've so enjoyed them, especially in the early mornings, they seem to be so happy, smiling, and waving good morning! I've never had sunflowers before, so I didn't know how they would do. They do take some tending, but they seem to be doing pretty good. But I noticed yesterday that there are lots of dead ones, lots of beautifully bloomed ones, and plenty all ready to open up at next morning's light!  I hadn't really ...

Trapped!

Image
 I "found" a scripture last week that described my typical caregiving day. It's in Genesys 42:36. Jakob has found himself in a hard spot. He lost Joseph a lifetime ago; now there is a famine in the land, and it's extreme. He sent his older sons to Egypt to get some food so they could survive. Now, the "mean" leader that they are unaware of is Joseph himself, who wants them to return. But he is requesting that they bring Benjamin to prove their story is true. Jakob cries out, "You have bereaved me of my children, Joseph is no more, Simeon is no more, and now you would take Benjamin?" (ESV) His next breath is spent with the thought that comes behind many sighs. Everything is going against me!" (NLT)  Have you ever felt that way? Things can pile up so quickly on any given caregiving day, and it can feel like everything in life is working against us. It can be a few big things, numerous "smaller" things, or a combination of the two that ...