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The Big Reveal

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 Caregiving is a strange mix of emotions. I'm pretty sure there's nothing that can squeeze who we  really are out of us like becoming a caregiver. It forces us to take a deeper look at ourselves. It can shuck us down to the bare essentials of life in no time. I've often referred to it as the crucible of life. But that doesn't mean it's all bad; it just gets rid of all the extras we thought we needed. We love our persons! Most caregivers love caring for loved ones, even if we don't  love why  we need to care for them. And of course, there are other situations that are equally effective at revealing who we really are. But caregiving is in a class of its own! Lol. There's no time to carry around extra stuff. In fact, sometimes, caregivers tend to stuff emotions and feelings because there simply isn't time to sort them out. That's part of why we live on that proverbial edge, ready to explode, because our hands were wet when we grabbed a dishwasher pod, a...

But, He Wants To!

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  Does it ever feel like life is kicking you when you're down? I think it happens all the time. Lol. As caregivers, our plates are absolutely full all the time. Even the smallest thing that goes wrong in our day can feel like the proverbial last straw that breaks the camel's back.  We often run so close to the edge emotionally that the tiniest thing tips us right over. I can't speak for you, but I know me! It can appear that everything is fine, and then I totally lose it over something seemingly stupid like struggling to open a new bag of underpads or briefs. smh. It happens. :-) But that's because our "emotional cup" runs on full and a drop of anything makes it run over the edges.  In Psalm 18:17-19, David mentions that his enemies attacked him at his weakest moment. Sometimes, it feels like life lands a socker punch when we are most vulnerable. And as caregivers, we can pretty much feel vulnerable all the time. But there's hope... In verse 17, David says...

Rock On!

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 This morning, I was reading Psalm 18. It's one of my favorites, talking about how God brings victory, defeats the enemies, and provides safety. And that's a super general overview! But what caught my eye in verse 2 was that David said God was his rock  - twice. So I grabbed the NASB as it was also nearby. It used rock twice in verse 2, also. I thought it was a little funny for David to state God was his rock twice, and of course, I thought it could be for emphasis. But it wasn't.  I grabbed my handy-dandy (old-school, I know) Strong's concordance and started digging. In verse 2, the first Hebrew word used for "rock" is sela. In the KJV, the second word for rock is instead strength. It is the Hebrew word, sur. As I dug through the two definitions, they can both be translated into rock. But they really mean two different things. Here is a brief comparison: Sur(tsur)  refers to a huge boulder or cliff.  Sela refers to a cliff or crag. A rock formation that conta...

The Crazy Caregiver Maze

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  Do you ever just feel alone? Not just a little bit lonely either. That gut-gnawing aloneness that digs deeply at your soul. And sure, we know  we are not alone. God is with us. We get that. We understand that. But there are times when our souls sink into the mire of aloneness and it's difficult to climb back out. Here in Oklahoma, we have this nasty, red, clay-like "dirt." If it gets wet, it gets so slick that you can't walk in it. If there is any slant to the ground at all, you may find yourself covered head to toe in muck, trying to get out of it. Lol. It can be quite the sight and quite the difficult situation. Sometimes, aloneness swallows us whole and it's like trying to get out of the mucky, wet clay pit. We just keep sliding back emotionally. It can feel like you're not making any progress at all, just getting sucked into a pit. Ever feel that way? If we think about it for a few minutes, there are a lot of emotional caverns that can suck the life out ...

Jakob's Kids

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 I'm an honest person, and I'll be the first to tell you that my responses are not always that great. In fact, I fail in that area a LOT! My first response is pretty much to freak out. Then, when I think it all through and finally pray, I'll act a little better.  Maybe, just maybe, I've gotten a little better over the last nearly 18 years of caregiving.  When we are thrust into crazy situations, our responses can be hectic, unpredictable, and extreme. Once we walk it out a little bit, some of the craziness of caregiving becomes normal to us. That's sad, right? LOL. But I think we don't tend to freak out quite as fast as we think it through and develop a solution. That's because caregivers are awesome problem solvers and critical thinkers. The nature of what we do demands it.  This week, I've been exploring some responses in the Bible. First, I looked at the Children of Israel. God comes in with His strong arm and rescues them out of bondage. As they jour...

Compassion for the Grief Package

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 We are still slowly moving through Isaiah 49. When I find something in the scriptures that really speaks to me, I just camp there. This chapter is so full of God's passionate pursuit of us. It's loaded with His compassion and comfort. Right here in the middle of the Old Testament! Imagine that.  Today, I am focusing on verse 13. In the NLT, it says Sing for joy, O heavens! Rejoice, O earth! Burst into song, O mountains! For the Lord has comforted  His people and will have compassion  on them in their sorrow.   Several things stand out to me in this verse. First, I love the full-spectrum command for all of creation to respond. Why? Because God has comforted His people and had compassion on them. But not just compassion. He shows compassion to them in their sorrow. I love that because you almost can't have caregiving without some level of grief.  We may be watching our loved one fade slowly away day after day. Or we may suffer the "loss" of our loved one who...

Wilderness Wanderers

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 It's easy for life to feel like a wilderness. I will say that my mental image and definition of a wilderness changed when I used to hike the Kistachie National Forest wilderness areas. I thought it was going to be barren, dry, and empty. I was surprised to find it natural, full, and living. Wilderness doesn't mean there is nothing there.  A quick look at the online dictionary reveals wilderness to mean: uncultivated, uninhabited, and inhospitable. Yup. That's about right. At least the 7-mile trail I loved to hike was that way! It had abundant plants, animals, and beautiful natural features to enjoy. But it was a rough hike filled with climbing, sliding, and crossing small waterways. It was the challenge that drew me to hike it over and over again! In Isaiah 49:11, God tells Isaiah that He will make mountains into level paths... and that He'll raise the highways above the valleys. Sounds like to me that He's going to smooth out the path in the wilderness.  What I no...