Things can pile up very quickly in the day of a caregiver; an aide cancels, your loved one is ill. There are tons of things that seem to need to be done just this instant and by noon you are already exhausted and have an entire day of chores that still need to be completed. When you realize you actually don't have time to attend an online Time Management seminar, you know it's pretty bad! Well that is just the tip of the iceberg for how the morning was here today.
As I sipped the fresh coffee, I began praying and asking the Lord to carry me. For caregivers the day can just look too long sometimes. A brief mental search of scriptures brought nothing up so I fired up the computer after finishing a few important chores and didn't find one about Him carrying (although I am certain that He does because there are times like today when there is no strength...I know you understand.) The search then turned to Him catching me when I fall. The caregiver does not have to worry about falling away from Him because we need Him too much! But we can certainly fall beneath the load even on the best of days. For those days I need Him to catch me!
While I was looking for a scripture that talked about Him catching me I found this one in the Message. It says: If your heart is broken, you’ll find GOD right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.(Psalm 34:18) That's where I am right now. I feel like I have been kicked in the gut and caregivers can just simply live with a broken heart! There is a grief over the loss of what was as well as what our future (which is now a present) was supposed to look like. He can deal with all of that!
Today I will rest in the fact that He is going to help me catch my breath so I can adequately finish out this day. I need His right here presence today so I will embrace Him as I square my shoulders back and prepare to face the rest of today. Tell yourself: He's got this!
Can He Afford That?
After yesterday's thoughts about how the Lord gives us patience, hope, peace and encouragement I looked at a few more scriptures along that line. (We may stay on this thought for awhile!) I ended up in John 14:27 where Jesus tells us I am leaving you with a gift; peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives, so don't be troubled or afraid.(NLT)
In this world today I am not sure we are aware of what it really feels to have peace of mind and heart. The world is in turmoil all around us and our lives as caregivers can be full of it. We can get up in the morning, have ourselves all together (emotions included) and something will occur to try and remove our peace. Perhaps an aide does not show up or there's a confrontation with a health provider who really does not want to do their job (or so it seems), or maybe it's just that our loved one is not having the best day - which means we do not either. But all of a sudden it can be a crazy day when we were so geared for a peaceful one. So since He can give us His peace - I'd say let's take it! But can He afford that? What will He do for peace?
I am really kind of kidding here obviously He will still have plenty of peace of His own - He is peace! But somehow I find comfort in the King of all creation who has unwavering peace of mind and heart thinking about me...considering that I may run low today and He generously offers His peace to calm my heart and mind. Somehow that is a very comforting picture.
Today I will rest in His peace and the fact that the timeless One took some time to share His soul peace with me.
In this world today I am not sure we are aware of what it really feels to have peace of mind and heart. The world is in turmoil all around us and our lives as caregivers can be full of it. We can get up in the morning, have ourselves all together (emotions included) and something will occur to try and remove our peace. Perhaps an aide does not show up or there's a confrontation with a health provider who really does not want to do their job (or so it seems), or maybe it's just that our loved one is not having the best day - which means we do not either. But all of a sudden it can be a crazy day when we were so geared for a peaceful one. So since He can give us His peace - I'd say let's take it! But can He afford that? What will He do for peace?
I am really kind of kidding here obviously He will still have plenty of peace of His own - He is peace! But somehow I find comfort in the King of all creation who has unwavering peace of mind and heart thinking about me...considering that I may run low today and He generously offers His peace to calm my heart and mind. Somehow that is a very comforting picture.
Today I will rest in His peace and the fact that the timeless One took some time to share His soul peace with me.
God Who Gives...
To be honest, many times because of my work load (which is in addition to caregiving) I do not always take the time to do a proper "devotion" in the mornings. I am sure other caregivers totally understand! And sometimes I do not write one here everyday although that was my intention when the blog was first setup. Some days I feel more like I need to find one than share one...but then comes the day I can crawl out of that all too familiar caregiver's fog we discussed before and scramble up some small bit of hope or encouragement that could be beneficial.
This morning when I first woke up I had Romans 15:13 on my mind for some reason so I turned to it in my Bible and reread it. It says this: I pray that God, who gives you hope, will keep you happy and full of peace... I do not have to go around looking for hope since He gave it to me! But then, if you look at verse 5 of the same chapter, you will read this: May God, who gives you this patience and encouragement help you live in harmony...Further on down in the chapter in verse 33 we read this: and now may God, who gives us his peace be with you all. That's quite a bundle of gifts if you ask me. He gives us hope, encouragement and peace! I believe with that thought I can make it through today.
As a caregiver, these are four essential resources that help us be able to carry the daily load. I need hope just to believe that everything is going to be okay, and that He is still with me and helping me through each moment. I need patience just to keep walking on this extremely long (seemingly unending) journey. And I need encouragement to have the strength to continue on; I need God to tell me it's going to be okay and that I can do this because I am not doing it alone - even if I feel like it sometimes. I need peace - in my mind, my heart and my body; peace is so important and because of the turmoil of each day it can seem so far away...
I am thankful today and will meditate on the truth that He gives me peace, encouragement, patience and hope to live today.
This morning when I first woke up I had Romans 15:13 on my mind for some reason so I turned to it in my Bible and reread it. It says this: I pray that God, who gives you hope, will keep you happy and full of peace... I do not have to go around looking for hope since He gave it to me! But then, if you look at verse 5 of the same chapter, you will read this: May God, who gives you this patience and encouragement help you live in harmony...Further on down in the chapter in verse 33 we read this: and now may God, who gives us his peace be with you all. That's quite a bundle of gifts if you ask me. He gives us hope, encouragement and peace! I believe with that thought I can make it through today.
As a caregiver, these are four essential resources that help us be able to carry the daily load. I need hope just to believe that everything is going to be okay, and that He is still with me and helping me through each moment. I need patience just to keep walking on this extremely long (seemingly unending) journey. And I need encouragement to have the strength to continue on; I need God to tell me it's going to be okay and that I can do this because I am not doing it alone - even if I feel like it sometimes. I need peace - in my mind, my heart and my body; peace is so important and because of the turmoil of each day it can seem so far away...
I am thankful today and will meditate on the truth that He gives me peace, encouragement, patience and hope to live today.
Simply Overwhelmed
This morning as I was getting up to bolus my son and start getting prepared for the day, I was overwhelmed. Of course this is nothing new for the caregiver. Many times we've discussed here the long list of things that have to be done on a daily basis. (For those who may have missed it - it begins with bathing, laundry, feeding, transferring, range of motion exercises and so forth...) For someone who is not a caregiver, think about every single thing you do in a day - now think about how it would be if you were not able to do any of it yourself. For the caregiver in many circumstances we must do all the daily living skills two times; once for ourselves and once for our loved one. Just caregiving on any given day can be overwhelming.
Now add to all that additional trips to therapy and trying to make a living at home. (I am a freelance writer) This sort of describes where I was when I woke up this morning...simply overwhelmed.
My mind went immediately to Psalm 61. It's a familiar scripture so I began to just sort of pray it in my own way. Hear my cry O Lord, Attend unto my prayer...from the ends of the earth have I cried unto you...when my heart is overwhelmed please lead me to the Rock that is higher than I...(sorry I memorized the old King James as a kid.) Then the Psalmist David goes on to seemingly encourage himself: for Thou hast been a shelter from the storm, a high tower, Lord from the enemy. And that is where I am today. Life is a little overwhelming today - so I will ask to be led to the Rock who can shelter me. Then I will remind myself of how He has sustained me in the past. He will remain my rock, my shelter, my place of refuge. He hasn't moved - nor will I.
Today I will tuck myself up under His wings and rely on Him for strength to carry me through...one more day. Will you join me?
Now add to all that additional trips to therapy and trying to make a living at home. (I am a freelance writer) This sort of describes where I was when I woke up this morning...simply overwhelmed.
My mind went immediately to Psalm 61. It's a familiar scripture so I began to just sort of pray it in my own way. Hear my cry O Lord, Attend unto my prayer...from the ends of the earth have I cried unto you...when my heart is overwhelmed please lead me to the Rock that is higher than I...(sorry I memorized the old King James as a kid.) Then the Psalmist David goes on to seemingly encourage himself: for Thou hast been a shelter from the storm, a high tower, Lord from the enemy. And that is where I am today. Life is a little overwhelming today - so I will ask to be led to the Rock who can shelter me. Then I will remind myself of how He has sustained me in the past. He will remain my rock, my shelter, my place of refuge. He hasn't moved - nor will I.
Today I will tuck myself up under His wings and rely on Him for strength to carry me through...one more day. Will you join me?
Temporary Shelter or Permanent Home?
One of my Facebook friends posted Psalm 18:2 on their wall early this morning so I pulled out my Bible with my morning cup of coffee and read through this familiar and favorite passage. I read over it a couple of times and then I just meditated on the first couple of verses. As I was reading and rereading and meditating my thoughts began to be focused on how He could be my rock and my fortress.
David was on the battlefield when then was written and I am sure there were many times he crawled up into a rocky area and sought refuge and safety. Sometimes the life of a caregiver can parallel a battlefield as we are many times the only advocate our loved one has. It's a shame but lots of times I find myself battling for things that are included in his care plan; for the things and care my son is supposed to get anyway. God is indeed our rock during those times.
But a fortress is a little bit different. When David is referring to a rock it could be interpreted a cave, or a solid place to seek temporary shelter, or safety. It may or may not have supplies like food or water packed inside. But a fortress is more permanent. It has everything that is needed to survive and thrive. The area is surrounded by protective walls with gates that shut to keep out the enemy. There are food and water supplies along with many of the things just needed for daily life.
I thought about how thorough God is. He is my temporary shelter when I am in the heat of a battle. I can run, hide and find safety from the flaming arrows of the enemy. But He is also my fortress - I can live there - in Him.
This will be my meditation today. I will look to Him to provide all I need just to make it through today. As Jesus said each day has its own trouble. So just today - I will trust Him for peace, sustenance, strength, wisdom and anything else that might be needed. And I will do the work I am called to do...rest in Him.
David was on the battlefield when then was written and I am sure there were many times he crawled up into a rocky area and sought refuge and safety. Sometimes the life of a caregiver can parallel a battlefield as we are many times the only advocate our loved one has. It's a shame but lots of times I find myself battling for things that are included in his care plan; for the things and care my son is supposed to get anyway. God is indeed our rock during those times.
But a fortress is a little bit different. When David is referring to a rock it could be interpreted a cave, or a solid place to seek temporary shelter, or safety. It may or may not have supplies like food or water packed inside. But a fortress is more permanent. It has everything that is needed to survive and thrive. The area is surrounded by protective walls with gates that shut to keep out the enemy. There are food and water supplies along with many of the things just needed for daily life.
I thought about how thorough God is. He is my temporary shelter when I am in the heat of a battle. I can run, hide and find safety from the flaming arrows of the enemy. But He is also my fortress - I can live there - in Him.
This will be my meditation today. I will look to Him to provide all I need just to make it through today. As Jesus said each day has its own trouble. So just today - I will trust Him for peace, sustenance, strength, wisdom and anything else that might be needed. And I will do the work I am called to do...rest in Him.
What Time I Am Afraid
Maybe it's just me, but there can be a lot of fears in caregiving.I am afraid I will hurt my loved one (not purposefully of course), make a wrong decision or just mess something up. It's very difficult to make decisions on behalf of someone else...for me anyway! Then since I am a caregiver to my son I worry about what happens when I am gone? Who will care for him then? There are also concerns about getting older and how that looks now as opposed to BC (before caregiving). If we are not careful thoughts can overrun us and charge our emotions with fear.
That's why this morning I turned my meditation to a scripture that I taught my kids when they were little. It's Psalm 56:3 and it simply says what time I am afraid, I will trust in You. It was written by an adult David while he was not faring too well in battle. What? David was afraid too? Is that possible? We are so conditioned to think that it is a grave sin to be afraid of anything - and so we tend to secretly shake and try to keep our deepest fears hidden. Well, let me be the first to admit: I am Afraid!
There is no sin in being afraid - and it's not lack of faith. The sin is in relying on man to save us instead of trusting in the Lord. David didn't say "I'll never be afraid." He said when I am afraid I will trust. We will get nowhere and remain emotionally immature until we can admit our own feelings of fear and helplessness. And really, until we can get there - we won't trust Him!
So today - I will admit my fears; I will share them with Him. And then - you got it - once again - I will trust in Him.
That's why this morning I turned my meditation to a scripture that I taught my kids when they were little. It's Psalm 56:3 and it simply says what time I am afraid, I will trust in You. It was written by an adult David while he was not faring too well in battle. What? David was afraid too? Is that possible? We are so conditioned to think that it is a grave sin to be afraid of anything - and so we tend to secretly shake and try to keep our deepest fears hidden. Well, let me be the first to admit: I am Afraid!
There is no sin in being afraid - and it's not lack of faith. The sin is in relying on man to save us instead of trusting in the Lord. David didn't say "I'll never be afraid." He said when I am afraid I will trust. We will get nowhere and remain emotionally immature until we can admit our own feelings of fear and helplessness. And really, until we can get there - we won't trust Him!
So today - I will admit my fears; I will share them with Him. And then - you got it - once again - I will trust in Him.
Inside Out
Some days are easier to bear than others, for whatever reason. It could simply be our emotional state, how we feel physically, series of good or bad things that happen, or just dealing with the day to day grind of the caregiving situation. During the times we are stretched beyond our strength we can become tired inside and out! When weariness sets in there is really no one who can help but God!
Ephesians 3:16 in the old King James Version of the Bible Paul prays that they will be strengthened with might by the Holy Spirit in the inner man. The New Living says that He gives you mighty inner strength through the Holy Spirit. Either way since we are believers, Holy Spirit is living in us and He can give us strength from the inside out. It must be part of the Holy Spirit's overall job description because in Acts when they were told to go wait for the Spirit, they were told that they would receive power from on high.
So it should not be surprising to know that He can fill us up with the Lord's strength for whatever lies ahead of us today or behind us from tomorrow. I say it that way because it may be yesterday's tragedy that brought us to today. But no matter where we find ourselves today He can give us strength to walk it out and since He lives inside our being this strength comes from the inside and strengthens our whole being body, soul and spirit.
I think the key may lie with us in that we must learn how to wait on God. That's a lot more difficult than it sounds. Especially for caregivers as we are many times having to motivate ourselves to keep going, not lose heart and press on into today. But verse 11 may also give us a little help on releasing His strength inside to strengthen our outside. In this verse Paul is still praying the same prayer for the Ephesians and he prays that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts...I love that! We already discussed how we all have the same Christ and no one has any more of Him than another. But the last part of this verse tells us how to let Him be more at home in our hearts - as you trust in Him.
Isn't that the key? We must learn to trust Him more - not that we get more of Him but so that He is more comfortable in our hearts. Today I will put my energies to work to trust Him more so that He will be comfortable in my heart and I will be positioned to receive His strength.
Ephesians 3:16 in the old King James Version of the Bible Paul prays that they will be strengthened with might by the Holy Spirit in the inner man. The New Living says that He gives you mighty inner strength through the Holy Spirit. Either way since we are believers, Holy Spirit is living in us and He can give us strength from the inside out. It must be part of the Holy Spirit's overall job description because in Acts when they were told to go wait for the Spirit, they were told that they would receive power from on high.
So it should not be surprising to know that He can fill us up with the Lord's strength for whatever lies ahead of us today or behind us from tomorrow. I say it that way because it may be yesterday's tragedy that brought us to today. But no matter where we find ourselves today He can give us strength to walk it out and since He lives inside our being this strength comes from the inside and strengthens our whole being body, soul and spirit.
I think the key may lie with us in that we must learn how to wait on God. That's a lot more difficult than it sounds. Especially for caregivers as we are many times having to motivate ourselves to keep going, not lose heart and press on into today. But verse 11 may also give us a little help on releasing His strength inside to strengthen our outside. In this verse Paul is still praying the same prayer for the Ephesians and he prays that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts...I love that! We already discussed how we all have the same Christ and no one has any more of Him than another. But the last part of this verse tells us how to let Him be more at home in our hearts - as you trust in Him.
Isn't that the key? We must learn to trust Him more - not that we get more of Him but so that He is more comfortable in our hearts. Today I will put my energies to work to trust Him more so that He will be comfortable in my heart and I will be positioned to receive His strength.
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