What Time I Am Afraid

Maybe it's just me, but there can be a lot of fears in caregiving.I am afraid I will hurt my loved one (not purposefully of course), make a wrong decision or just mess something up. It's very difficult to make decisions on behalf of someone else...for me anyway! Then since I am a caregiver to my son I worry about what happens when I am gone? Who will care for him then? There are also concerns about getting older and how that looks now as opposed to BC (before caregiving). If we are not careful thoughts can overrun us and charge our emotions with fear.

That's why this morning I turned my meditation to a scripture that I taught my kids when they were little. It's Psalm 56:3 and it simply says what time I am afraid, I will trust in You. It was written by an adult David while he was not faring too well in battle. What? David was afraid too? Is that possible? We are so conditioned to think that it is a grave sin to be afraid of anything - and so we tend to secretly shake and try to keep our deepest fears hidden. Well, let me be the first to admit: I am Afraid!

There is no sin in being afraid - and it's not lack of faith. The sin is in relying on man to save us instead of trusting in the Lord. David didn't say "I'll never be afraid." He said when I am afraid I will trust. We will get nowhere and remain emotionally immature until we can admit our own feelings of fear and helplessness. And really, until we can get there - we won't trust Him!

So today - I will admit my fears; I will share them with Him. And then - you got it - once again - I will trust in Him.

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