Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts
Showing posts with label faith. Show all posts

Perceptions

Chris enjoying Bluff Creek Trails

 It's so easy to think we messed up when life takes what we perceive as a wrong turn. When something catastrophic and life-altering occurs, we begin to try and figure out what we did wrong. Maybe it's just me! :-) Tons of questions start to form and run through our minds. Did I miss something? Did I disobey God? Didn't I have enough faith? Did I doubt? Perhaps I didn't pray enough, read enough, or do enough of something...

But that's not the case at all. Storms don't come in life because we commit a sin or because we omit something. They are just part of life, period. Yesterday, we talked about Jonah. He did find himself in a storm and the belly of a whale because he disobeyed God, I'll admit. However, let's look at a New Testament account where obedience sent the disciples right into a storm.

In Matthew 14, Jesus told the disciples to get into the boat and go across the sea. He did not warn them about a storm. He did not prepare them by telling them He'd come out to them in the darkest moments. He just told them to go get in the boat and head across the waters. They obeyed Him as they should have and still ended up in the middle of the stormy sea in the middle of the night. Neither obedience nor disobedience caused the storm and put them in a precarious situation. The storm was coming whether they obeyed or not. Had they disobeyed and stayed on shore, the storm would have still come. But they would not have experienced the peace that came when Jesus got in the boat with them. And Peter would have missed the opportunity to walk on water. 

In the case of disobedient Jonah and the obedient disciples - God came to them. He brought His peace. He met Jonah in the belly of the whale and gave him a place to repent and restore the relationship. Jesus met the disciples in their storm, taught them about faith, and brought His peace, calming their nerves and the storm.

We can trust God to meet us in the storm - no matter what we perceive its origin to be. He will come. He will bring peace (it's part of Him - He can't leave it behind!). He will give us grace for the moment and strength for today's battle. We can count on it - the storm is not our fault. It is there to reveal who God is in our hearts.

Today, I will look for Jesus in the storm. I will not "should" on myself and give myself a list of things I should have done or not done. I'll just trust Him to calm the storm in my soul. I'll remind myself that He's staying in the boat with me. He won't bail on me. And I will trust Him to be with me for one more day - will you join me? 


                                                                                                                                           


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When I Can't See

 This morning, it's cloudy and rainy here. I like a nice rainy day now and then. When I was a kid, I'd curl up with a book or two and read the day away. Boy, how I wouldn't love one of those kinds of days right now! But for the caregiver, it is not meant to be. Lol. But the cloudy day did help spark some deeper thoughts that I've been rolling around.

Do you ever go through those times when you can't see or feel God? One thing I've tried to do with this blog is to be gut-level honest about emotions, thoughts, and all the crazy parts of being caregivers. There are days when I don't see or feel God's hand at work in my life. Many of my middle-of-the-night experiences have led to me crying out to God and asking Him if He sees us. If He hears us. And IF He does, why isn't He answering? But in most Christian circles, those raw emotions and legit questions are not allowed. They show a "lack of faith." But do they?

On this cloudy day, I cannot see the sun. It's a thick, cloudy, super rainy day, and barely any light is getting through. The sun is obscured from reaching us. But is it really? The presence of the clouds doesn't mean the sun isn't out there shining on. Right? I just can't see it. But it didn't go away. Where would it go? Lol.


Even in the most "normal" circumstances, our clear sight of God can be disrupted. But for caregivers, it's even worse. Every day caregiving stuff can cloud our view of the One we love - the One we need so desperately. But it doesn't mean that He's not there. Like the sun, He is shining brightly on the other side.

It's those gray days that can drag us down the most. Those times when we don't see Him moving, can't hear Him breathing, and can't see Him reaching for our hearts. But He is.

Isn't believing that He is still there when we don't feel, see, or experience Him what faith is all about? Don't let anyone try to tell you that you don't have faith because you don't get the answers you want when you want them. You're still holding on, right? It may be to what feels like a quickly thinning thread, but you're still gripping it! Caregivers have got more guts and faith than any other class of people, in my opinion. We just keep reaching for Him...

  • when we are tired
  • when we are lost
  • when strength is gone
  • when we can't think straight
  • when others tell us we shouldn't...
That's faith. The fact that you are still reading this blog - demonstrates that you are still reaching, even if you cannot see. Man, is that awesome!

Today, I will take Him at His word and trust that He is working on my behalf - even if I don't see or sense that He is doing a thing. It's a good day to just silently wait for Him. Will you join me?

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31 Days in Psalm 31 devotional book cover


Check out my bookstores. I have eBook devotionals, Bible study guides, poetry, and more in my Dove's Fire Ministries bookstore. My Amazon bookshelf has a couple of those in print or on Kindle. My devotional 31 Days in Psalm 31 is all about seeking God from the cave! Check it out!




Distractions

 


My mind is still hanging out in Matthew 14! I guess I've really been rolling it over and over in my meditations. Today, I want to just look at Peter. He is the only one who stepped out of the boat. He gets a bad rap for sinking. But no one else jumped out onto the water, not even after seeing him walk on the water. How far he walked or how long he walked don't really matter, do they? It was still miraculous that he simply walked on the water. 

Peter did something no one else had the guts to do - even if it was for just a few steps...a few seconds.

But like many of us, Peter got distracted by the storm. As long as he focused on Jesus and working his way to Him, he walked across the water. But when he looked at the storm, it distracted him. Do you ever have one of those days?

We start out with a great attitude determined to work it all out. Then out of nowhere BAM! We get blindsided by something - it could be anything. A bill we didn't expect. Supplies that are not on time. Doctors who don't return our calls - or don't listen to us at all. A phone call with bad news. Or just a loved one who doesn't have the best day. I'm sure you can fill in the blank with one or more things that have distracted you from looking at Him.

For a while, we felt like we were walking on water. Until we looked around and emotionally started sinking. Is there a fix for that? I think so. Peter called out to Jesus - and Jesus grabbed him and got him back into the boat. Then the storm calmed. We can call out to Him - whether we are staying afloat and moving toward Him - or totally sinking. He will get us back into the boat to safety. And He will calm the storm. 

He won't condemn us for being distracted by our busy caregiving days. He brings comfort, warmth, peace, and mercy. Then He gently puts us back in the boat. He reminds us that He is still right there. I mean, really - Jesus could have been exasperated at Peter and He could have just started walking back to shore. lol. But He didn't. He reached out His hand with love and care and helped the distracted disciple.

Today, whether I feel like I am emotionally walking on water and getting 'er all done - or if I feel I am sinking beneath the load...I will trust His outstretched hand. I will let Him rescue me. I'll watch as He calms my storm. Maybe it'll be through His wisdom. Perhaps it will be a friend who calls to encourage. It may be that good news makes an unexpected appearance. No matter what - I'll reach out to Him and let Him put me safely in the boat. I'm determined to not let the storm distract me today as I focus my gaze on the Prince of Peace. Will you join me?


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31 Days in Psalm 31 devotional book cover


Check out my bookstores. I have eBook devotionals, Bible study guides, poetry, and more in my Dove's Fire Ministries bookstore. My Amazon bookshelf has a couple of those in print or on Kindle. My devotional 31 Days in Psalm 31 is all about seeking God from the cave! Check it out!




The Sent Ones

 

Me and Chris at Tae Kwon Do

When we think about Jesus sending out His disciples the12 being sent out to preach the gospel, heal the sick, and cast out demons come to mind. Maybe we think about the 70 He sent out later on. Or perhaps we even think about the Great Commission and how we are all sent to make disciples of all nations. What we don't think about is Matthew 14, when Jesus sent His disciples into a storm.

We could argue that He didn't know there was a storm coming - but since He is Jesus - that argument won't hold up. In Matthew 14:22 Jesus "made His disciples get back into the boat and cross to the other side of the lake while He sent the people home." (NLT) After they boarded the boat and headed out across the sea, Jesus spent some time alone in prayer. While He was praying, the disciples found themselves on the sea, at night, fighting a bad storm.

He knew there was a storm building - but He sent them anyway. Of course, about three in the morning, He came to them walking on the water. But I still can't get over the fact that He knew there was a storm and He sent them anyway.

My point? God doesn't always help us avoid bad, difficult, hurtful, or hard situations. But He will come to us in our point of need. He will bring us His peace in the midst of the storms life tosses our way. He will equip us for the journey and He won't leave us alone in the storm. Think about this - if Jesus had said, there's a storm so I'm not sending you out on the boat tonight - Peter would have missed the opportunity of walking on water. The disciples would have missed a huge lesson on faith and trust. They would have missed the revelation that He was who He said He was. (verse 33)

God doesn't always protect us from the storm - but He keeps us in the storm. Just like the disciples, we learn so much in the midst of the storm. Our faith is stretched. Opportunities to trust Him abound. And we understand more about who He is - we see Him more clearly.

Today, I'm going to thank Him for the storms. My prayer will be that He will increase my faith and trust in Him; and that I will be able to see Him through the wind and rain. I'll look to Him on the rocky seas of life and trust Him for one more trip across the lake (translated - one more day!). I'm going to look for opportunities to trust Him and step out of the boat onto faith. Will you join me?

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Poem for Caregivers Book Cover


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Permission to Believe

 


I found myself in a very familiar story this morning as I was preparing for live devotions on Facebook. It's in Matthew 14:22-33. We know this story as the time Jesus came walking on the water. It's also familiar because Peter jumped out of the boat and walked on the water to get to Jesus. Have you ever been in a place where it felt like it would take a miracle for you to get to God? 

There were several things that stood out in this story. I hope you take a minute to read it again today. I like that Jesus took time for solitude and prayer. What an example for us. If He needed it - we certainly do! 

I like that Jesus stepped out into the storm to get to his weary, frightened disciples who were still trying to row the boat. (That's us - huh?) They were frightened at first. But then they recognized Him. He told them to not be afraid. They knew His voice because He simply said, I am here. (NLT)

Then Peter who is known to be a bit impulsive calls out. He said, If it's really You - tell me to come to You by walking on the water. (NLT) Now I've read this story numerous times as many of us have. But this morning I stopped to think about Peter's inquiry. Why didn't he just jump out of the boat and take off? His question seems to indicate to me that he really wanted to. What held him back?

If it's really You - Peter said. Did he doubt? If he doubted why in the world would he have trusted this voice in the night? What if it wasn't Jesus? A deceiver or imposter could bid him to jump out of the boat to his doom. Right? 

Maybe Peter knew Jesus' voice but was just enough afraid to stay in the boat. Maybe Peter just needed permission to believe. And Jesus said, Alright, come. (NLT) 

As caregivers, our days and nights can get rocky. We can be tossed around on life's sea like a boat in a storm. But we keep rowing just like the disciples did. It doesn't say they were waiting for or expecting Jesus to come to them. But He came. He walked right into the middle of their dark night; right into the middle of their storm and gave them permission to believe Him. I like that.

Today, I will take a good look at my own faith. I'll ask myself some hard questions too. Do I believe? Would I jump out of the boat and run to Him? Will I accept Him in the middle of the dark night of the soul? Will I trust Him to calm the storm? Yes. Yes. Yes. and Yes. Will you join me today?

Longing for Morning

I'm still on my journey through the psalms or Songs of Ascents. Today, I'm gleaning from Psalm 130. Honestly, I think I love all the psalms - they are open, raw, and honest. This one starts that way too. The psalmist says, Out of the depths I have cried to You, O Lord. Lord, hear my voice! That sounds a bit like yesterday when we were looking at the dark night of the soul and some of the long nights caregivers often endure.

One thing I like about many of the psalms is that after the prayer, after the complaint and all the crying out - there is a declaration. This psalm is no different. In verse 5,  the Psalmist says, I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word I do hope. My loose interpretation is this: I may be calling out to Him for help in a time of desperation, but I still know His word is my hope and I will declare that I am waiting on Him alone.

In the next verse, he goes on to say - My soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning - I'm pretty sure, I've spent a lot of caregiving nights watching for the morning. It can be intense waiting for the light of day. Many of us have driven all night, or been up all night with a sick and leaned into that morning light. It can be a long, hard wait - but always worth it. Now, if I can bring that kind of intense waiting over to my soul and long for Him just as eagerly.

Today, I will declare that my soul waits for Him, and for Him alone. I will turn every ounce of my being toward Him and stretch out my faith to touch Him today. As I wait for Him, I will declare that He is my help, my sustenance, and my hope. And I will hope in Him today as I long for morning in my soul. Will you join me?

The Corona Virus and Faith


No matter what you believe about the Corona Virus and the “pandemic” declared by WHO, it’s a concerning situation. While the virus itself doesn’t pose much threat to the general public, and recovery is expected, to those most vulnerable among us, it can be fatal. That puts a bit of stress on us as caregivers as we strive to take the necessary precautions to try and shield those we care for from exposure.


Where do we run in times like these? As a caregiver fear knocks at my heart’s door. I want to batten down the hatches, spray everyone with disinfectants and move further back in the caregiver’s cave. The social isolation of being quarantined isn’t scary – many of us have been living like that for years. I discussed this in another blog I maintain by stating, Welcome to My World.

We hold on to faith every day as caregivers. It takes faith most days for us to continue living and moving forward. But add something like this crazy virus on top and we have to dig down just a little deeper. I’ve watched Christians on social media platforms plea the blood and quote scriptures declaring it won’t come nigh their dwelling. But over the last few years of caregiving, I’ve learned that faith isn’t so much keeping horrible things at bay – instead, it’s what carries us through them.

One of my favorite scriptures comes to mind, and I’ve seen it quoted a lot lately. David talks about abiding in the shelter of God and how God is our refuge. We don’t need a refuge if there isn’t a storm. Some of the phrases I’m seeing pulled out of context in this psalm are:

He will deliver you from the snare of the fowler
And from pestilence,
It shall not come near you….
No evil shall befall you nor any plague come near your dwelling…

I love to claim these too. But there really is a catch. First off, we must admit there is a fowler’s snare, pestilence, plague, arrows flying, and destruction. It exists and we are not exempt as much as we’d like to think so. Now, don’t get me wrong, one thing I’ve learned as a caregiver is how He continues to watch over us and walk with us through things. Daniel didn’t get an exemption card – he faced the lion’s den. David faced Goliath. The three Hebrew children walked through that fire. Jesus faced the cross. There is no exemption – only deliverance.

Think for a second about the writer of this psalm. David ran for years from Saul. He hid in caves and ran for his life. His son, Absalom killed his brother Amnon. Then, later on, Absalom was killed. David lost two sons. He knew heartache. After his sin with Bathsheba, he lost a baby son. He knew God didn’t keep all bad things from happening. But here in this “protective” psalm, we try to quote like it’s an enchantment or incantation,  David stresses that God is our shelter – we don’t need shelter if nothing is happening to us. I don’t hide under an umbrella if there’s no rain. There is no running to the storm shelter if there isn’t a storm.

God does not promise a free ticket and exemption from problems. What He does promise is that He will never leave us. He does promise to be faithful. He promises to keep our souls in the midst of the storm. There is no promise that the storm won’t come – but rather the calm assurance that He’ll keep us in and through it.

I will take the necessary precautions to protect my son from the Coronavirus and the flu. I will pray that he nor anyone in this household gets it. But whether we face it or not – I will trust God to carry me through.

Today, I will focus on God’s faithfulness. My meditation will be on how He remains calm in the craziest times. I’ll turn my thoughts to the fact that whether we see uncertain days or not – He will remain with me. He will walk each day with me. And today, I’ll be grateful for His presence and His beyond-our-understanding peace in the midst of chaos and craziness. I’ll trust Him – for today, for tomorrow, and forever. Will you join me?

The Unexpected


Life is filled with the unexpected. No one knows this more than a caregiver, right? We literally never know what a day may bring. Our loved one may become ill, have a fall, or any number of things. Of course, the unexpected isn’t always negative either. Someone may send a gift that brightens your day. Or a stranger speaks kindly to you and your loved one. You just never know.

The Bible has lots of unexpected things too. One thing I was reading about this morning was the birth of Jesus. When Simeon saw baby Jesus, he began to proclaim and prophesy. This phrase in Luke 2:32 stood out to me today: A light to bring revelation to the Gentiles. The Gentiles? We were in God’s plan all along even though the Jews found it so surprising. Remember Isaiah 60? We know the first verse well and used to sing it back in the ‘70s when we thought it was cool to just sing the Word.

The first part says Arise, shine; for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you! But then if you go on down to verse three it says the Gentiles will come to that light. Well, what are they doing there? Lol. They were unexpected.

Remember Hannah’s prayer for a child? In 1 Samuel she prayed earnestly for God to relieve her of her being barren so she could have a child. He did and Hannah had Samuel. She gave him back to the Lord and he began to serve in the temple. The first thing God did with Samuel was upset the religious system of the day. No one expected that one!

God is always full of surprises for His people. Sometimes, He’s been telling us about it all along. Other times we don’t have a clue. His answers to our prayers may not look like what we expected. Hannah wanted a baby, God sent a prophet. The Jews wanted a Messiah, and God sent a baby. God is not backward – He just works differently than what we can think or imagine.

Today, I’m going to expect the unexpected. I’ll take a look around to see what prayers God has answered and I didn’t know it because I expected one thing but got another. I’ll trust that He is always at work for me and in me. My meditations will be on how to expect the unexpected from Him – and how to accept it with grace. I’ll turn my thoughts to all the prayers He has answered before and trust that He has heard my heart today as well. And I’ll wait for His answer – His way. Will you join me?

The Caregiver's Armor

This morning I was reading in Ephesians 6 about the armor of God. In verse 11, Paul tells the believers to put on all of God's armor so that you will be able to stand firm. As I read through his brief descriptions of the armor and the benefits, I thought how applicable it is to us as believers and caregivers. I think it's safe to say we live in the thick of the battle - furnace walkers. The fire is always reaching toward us. Every day can be a battle. Sometimes, every second of the day is spent trying to catch our breath. Breathe.

As I read over the familiar pieces I realized how relevant each piece is to our struggles. Also, at the front of my mind was the truth that we are not disqualified from wearing the armor just because we are caregivers. As a matter of truth, we were not stripped of any of our promises when caregiving came along. We are still just as much of a believer and still covered by His righteousness and filled up with Him as we ever were. Actually, sometimes we press into Him more because of the difficult circumstances and became stronger in the faith. So let's look at the armor from a caregiver's perspective.

Put on the belt of truth. Lies can dig away at our sanity day after day. Lies I hear a lot include that I'm not "worth" the effort or that I have no value to offer relationships. I don't deserve friends. The truth of God's word tells me that I am deeply loved by my Father. As a caregiver, I didn't "give up" my spot in the family of God. I still matter. I am still loved and I still need Him!

Put on the breastplate of righteousness. The breastplate protects our heart. We are covered by His righteousness. Caregivers and non-caregivers can never be righteous on our own - we need Him to cover us. We did not become un-righteous when we became caregivers. His righteousness still keeps our heart right before Him and allows us to present ourselves before Him holy and complete. I'm thankful for that.

Put on the shoes of the gospel. Shoes protect our feet and allow us to go many more miles. We still have opportunities to share the good news with others. I have a constant flow of medical professionals and health care workers through my home. I can say there have been numerous discussions about the good news - God is still faithful. He is still near. Let's keep the "good news" on our feet to protect our daily walk by reminding ourselves and others of His constant pursuit of us!

Carry the shield of faith. I have said many times my faith has been redefined by caregiving. Here, Paul points out that it's the shield of faith that stops or quenches the fiery darts aimed by the enemy. Our enemy really hopes to get us to stop believing. But wouldn't that be a dumb thing to do now? Faith protects us in the trial - it doesn't prevent the darts from being shot - but it protects them from damaging us.

Put on the helmet of salvation. I am so thankful my salvation is not impacted by life's trials. When we are saved - it's a done deal. The fiery darts of the enemy cannot touch it. The trials and struggles we face each day cannot weaken it or separate us from Him. We must protect our heads and thoughts with the truth that our salvation is untouchable.

Take up the sword of the Spirit which is the Word of God. The word of God should be in our hearts, minds, and hands constantly. When we start to consider the lies of the enemy - it's like we lay down the sword of the word and pick up his words. We must keep the word in our hands - it's our weapon and method of navigating through life's difficult circumstances.

Today, I'm going to think about the pieces of God's armor. It's what He has provided to protect our hearts, heads, hands, feet, and loins. My meditation will be on how He has protected me well. My job is to put it on and keep it on. I'll turn my thoughts to what a wonderful spiritual provider He is! I'll be thankful He doesn't change due to my circumstances. And I'll trust Him for this one more day. Will you join me?

A Realist's Faith

Chris standing well
I'm not sure we can deal with any situation, caregiving or otherwise until we acknowledge it. We can try to confess it away, quote scriptures over it all day, and pray - I do this a lot. It doesn't always change the situation. I have no doubt that God heals and will continue to perform miracles. But until He does - we must deal with the situations that are right in our face.
It's not faithless to face our situation head on each day. There is no way to be a caregiver and ignore what we are going through as our actions or inactions directly affect other persons. A realist can stand in faith too because faith is not exactly what we've made it out to be all these years.

I have a very well-meaning relative who is always telling Chris to "get outta that chair" so he can go fishing. It breaks my heart. The first time he said it, I said, "they have handicap fishing spots if you want to take him fishing." I got no response. The last time he said it, I just let it go as my heart shattered into a million pieces. I love my son just like he is. Would I be overjoyed if he took off walking or starting talking or moving anything? Absolutely. But I love him just like he is too. I sing "You are so Beautiful" to him pretty much every day, two or three times a day.

God never looks at us and says, I sure wish you'd get better so I could fellowship with you. I know He doesn't. He loves us just like we are - even though He sees far better things for us. He puts no requirements on us - He just says come. He wipes my tears. He picks me up. He loves me - even when I'm dirty by my own doing. He takes us just like we are with no hesitation, no questions, no shaking of His head in disgust.

Today, I will meditate on how He loves me just like I am, with all my imperfections. My thoughts will be on how He longs to be with me so much He'll come to me if I can't walk, He speaks to me when I can't talk and He holds me when I can't hold Him. I'll think about how much He loves us as the crazy messed up caregivers we can be! lol And I'll thank Him for loving me right where I am, just as I am as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

The Anyways Factor

Don't you hate sayings like time heals all wounds? Or my new (sarcastic) favorite, nothing lasts forever. Yeah right. This too shall pass - maybe, maybe not. I'm learning a lot of these cliches just don't cut it and they don't offer the consolation or comfort they are intended to provide.

I must admit, the life of a caregiver can be less than ideal. It's not perfect. No one sets the goal of being a caregiver when they grow up. It's not on the list of careers to choose from. We inherit it. And we carry it well. And while I would not have chosen this life, I'm here now and I must say there are some distinct rewards that come from caring for a loved one. There are also some things about myself, and others, that I might not have discovered without caregiving. So I can honestly say I have no regrets.

I will not say the transition was easy. Nor will I make like there isn't pain involved. I admit there is daily grief. But I will say that I think I have a deeper faith, more intense trust and have grown in my knowledge of Him over this journey. Each day presents its own set of difficulties - and blessings.

A few weeks back I was thinking about my journey as a caregiver and I came to some conclusions. Yes, it is hard. Yes, it is painful. Yes, no one understands us. Yes, there seems to be no end in sight. Yes, I battle fears. But.... there is the "anyways' factor.

You see, I determined that no matter what my situation is - I will praise Him anyways....

The anyways factor has changed my perspective. It takes the focus off my self and my situation and puts the life-emphasis back on Him.

I'm going to praise Him anyways...
I'm going to sing about His glory anyways...
I'm going to remember His deeds anyways...
I will meditate on His word anyways...
I will rejoice in Him anyways...
I will worship and bow down anyways...

I could continue, but I think we get the idea of the anyways factor. I've said so many times that our situations good or bad, do not change Him, do not affect His love for us, and do not change His intense, passionate longing to be with us. He still loves. He still cares. He still is God anyways....

Today, I will set my mind on things above. My thoughts will be on His mercy that is toward us always and anyways.... I'll meditate on His unfailing love that doesn't change due to my circumstances. My focus is going to be reset on His unchange-ableness in a constantly changing world of caregiving. I'll set my thoughts on His peace, grace and love that is toward us anyways... and I will rest in Him and trust Him for one more day. Will you join me as I praise Him anyways.....








Lion Hearts

Sorry to be MIA of late - I had my plate full last week as my mom was staying with me for a few days. She has some sort of dementia and requires lots of TLC right now so it was my pleasure to have her stay with me. However, it meant that my plate, which was already full, was piled just a little fuller. So I did what I could to keep my head above water.....so I went missing.

Over the last few weeks, my mind and heart have been busy processing stuff. Life, really. And as usual, there are tons of things going through my head and heart all at the same time. When I wake up in the morning it seems like my head is already going a hundred miles an hour, and maybe more! I have no idea what the series of thoughts were that brought me to the passage in Daniel, but I'm sure it was a logical sequence.

I opened my Bible to Daniel 3, verse 17. This is where Daniel's three friends were facing the fiery furnace. It's their statement - their dedication to the fire that piqued my interest this morning. They said  our God is able to deliver us from the blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, be it known to you O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image you have set up.

My thoughts were mostly wrapping around their tenacity and dedication to the fire. They were not looking for a way out - but were tenaciously saying they would gladly walk through the fire rather than give up to other gods.

I kind of see caregivers that way. There's this dedication to the journey, you know? We are going to continue to walk in the fire not expecting God to deliver us out. If He does - great. But if not - we will not bow or give in to the pressure. We will still serve Him. Isn't that partly why you are here right now reading this blog?

Many days we are strong and our faith seems to carry us through. Other days we are looking for a thread of hope and wondering if we have the strength to hold on. But when we feel life push us to give in - something stands up inside of us and boldly proclaims: I'm not bowing to the pressure. I'll walk through this fire - but not give up on God.

Same tenacity. Same dedication. Same boldness and power that we have admired in Daniel's friends, isn't it? I know we don't like seeing ourselves that way. For the most part, we are like - hey, I do what I gotta do to make it. And that is true - but inside there's this lion that is seeking God's heart. And we are not giving up - even in our fiery circumstance - until we find Him.

And where exactly do we find Him? Right there in the furnace with us. Yup - He's walking through the fiery trials alongside each of us. Isaiah 43:1-2 says this:

But now, thus says the Lord Your creator, O Jacob,
and He who formed you O Israel,
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are Mine!
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
nor will the flame burn you. 
For I am the Lord your God 
The Holy One of Israel....

Sometimes I'm sad because He didn't promise us a ticket out. He said we'd pass through waters, rivers and fire. We are not exempt. However, He also said He'd be with us in them. And that's what I am holding on to today.

Today I'm going to rejoice that He didn't leave me to face the fire alone. I choose to be thankful He is in the floods with me. My mind will be on the truth that He's a furnace walker too - because He's in there with us. My meditations will be on His choice to never leave us - and to carry us when necessary. Just like I choose to walk with Him - He chooses to walk with me. I like that and it will be my meditation today as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Unplugged

If anyone understands me I know it's you, my fellow caregivers. And thankfully, we are a forgiving bunch. I know I've been MIA for quite awhile but I'm refocused and ready to go again. I found myself totally overwhelmed by everything and just had to unplug for a bit. I'm all plugged in now and we're good.

Of course, caregivers can't unplug like others can as there are some things that simply cannot be let go. Even if we "take a break" there are some things that can't be ignored. I can cut back on my work, rearrange my daily schedule, simplify my daily processes like cooking and cleaning - but caregiving can't be "cut back" on.

Each day is about the same whether we're feeling it or not. We don't get to just break from bathing, feeding, dressing, or exercising our loved one just because we're on overload. Add to that complicated situation those things that may seem simple to others like aides that don't show up as scheduled, nurses who like to make surprise visits, making a living and "normal" family matters and daily life and for me it means I gotta check out for a bit and find myself in the pile. And that is why I've been MIA for awhile.

With the new year I have a new determination to do some things I want to do. One of them is keep up this blog and some others as well. I want to write some of my stuff instead of just for "the other guys." So here I am.

I opened my Bible this morning to remove the bookmark and my eyes fell on this verse from Isaiah 49:

And now says the Lord, 
who formed me from the womb
to be His servant.....

That little phrase stood out to me - He formed me to be His servant. I am made to worship Him no matter what life throws at me and no matter how crazy the days may get around me. I was born for this.

But the last phrase in this verse stood out to me as well. It says My God is my strength. Not only did He form me so my every breath and actions could worship Him, He gives me the strength to continue. Talk about a cool package deal, right? We are not out here on our own trying to find a way to keep on worshiping Him in the midst of the fiery furnace - He is empowering us to serve Him. There are no exclusions. No exceptions. No unlesses....we are His servant and He is our strength. I like that.

Today I will meditate on being born to worship and serve Him. I can do that with intention today. I'll refocus my thoughts and actions on how He empowers me to walk with Him, how He carries me through the rough days and walks with me through the lighter ones. I'll think about what it means to be invited to walk with Him, the King of Kings. And I will rejoice once again that He has not left me to face life alone. I'll be content in Him and rest in Him for one more day. Will you join me?




What Impresses God?

I've been watching the Olympics this week and thoroughly enjoying them. I guess working from home does have some benefits! I am amazed over and over again by the many athletes. I admire their dedication, tenacity and endurance. Even on some of the sports I don't normally watch I am glued to the TV in awe of these elite athletes.

During my devotions this morning I was reading in Psalm 147 where it says The strength of the horse does not impress Him; how puny in His sight is the strength of man. I kind of smiled at the thought of God not really being all that impressed with our strongest athletes. While they are wonderful, strong and way above the cut as far as we humans are concerned, their strength is basically nothing in comparison to God's.

One of my favorite passages includes the last few chapters of Job where God describes creation from His point of view. It reminds us of how strong He is, how weak we are and how much we need Him! While we are admiring the strongest among us, God is probably just shaking His head.

Psalm 147 goes on to say in verse 11 Rather, the Lord's delight is in those who honor Him, those who put their hope in His unfailing love. He doesn't admire our physical strength - it really does not impress Him. What does impress God then? He is impressed by our trust in Him and our fear of Him.

I did a brief search through Bible Gateway and looked at just Psalm 147:11 in all the English translations. This verse has lots of interpretations. Basically it boils down to the fact that He takes pleasure or even enjoys those who wait for Him and those who trust in His love, mercy or unfailing love.

He is impressed when we trust fully in Him. I believe He smiles when we lean a little closer in to Him and it brings joy to His heart for us to rest in Him and find our hope Him. And like a proud father, maybe His heart beats just a little harder - hard enough for us to hear it if we lean in close. Sometimes, the day of a caregiver is so loud, hurried, busy and loud we have a difficult time hearing His heart. It requires our quietness.

Today I will quiet my heart, soul and mind as I lean in a little closer to hear His heart. My meditations will be on how I can cultivate the hope and trust He is impressed with. My thoughts will be on His unchanging love and dedication to us - His children. And I will rest in Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Who are you?

I've been doing some studying and gathering notes for a project I'm working on. Last week, I shared a bit about it in a post. I'm looking at David and how he dealt with the enemies he faced. In my studies, I've gotten stuck in 1 Samuel 17 with the story of how David faced Goliath.

David just couldn't stand to see the enemy come out and ridicule, pester and abuse the people of God. The NLT says David asked, "Who is this pagan Philistine anyway, that he is allowed to defy the armies of the living God?" I wonder if David was just in shock that no one stood up to Goliath before he got there.

David's brother asked a question of David when he heard that his little brother was asking what one would get for slaying the giant. His question was what are you doing around here anyway? He tried to put David in his place by degrading him and reminding him that he was just a shepherd. But the truth is that David's shepherd heart was coming out to protect the people of God just like it rared up to protect the sheep in his pasture.

David is going to tell Saul a little later on that when a bear and a lion came to take sheep, he would chase them down and take his sheep back and then beat the perpetrator to death! That same righteous indignation was rising up as he is hearing Goliath rail on God's sheep.

When David went out to meet Goliath, the giant asks, Am I just a dog that you come at me with a stick?  And when Goliath moved closer to attack, David ran to meet him. With one single stone and a sling the giant fell. Now it's Saul's turn to ask the questions, Whose son is this? 

The sequence of questions could look sort of like this:

  • David to the soldiers - who is this ungodly pagan?
  • David's brothers to him - who are you to be here?
  • David to Goliath - who are you to rail against God?
  • Goliath to David - who are you to come at me with a stick?
  • Saul to David - whose son are you? or who are you?
The most important part, I think, is that David knew who he was - and he knew who God was. He told Goliath, God will conquer you - and I will kill you. I like the way he said that! David is counting on God to take what he has in his hand, a stone, and put His force behind it so the giant falls to the ground. Once God has knocked the giant out and down - he knows he will cut off his head with the giant's own sword.

I think what gets me here is that God will do the conquering. I'll just follow up! Sometimes as a caregiver every day can feel like facing a giant. To say the caregiver's "plate is full" is quite the understatement. But I don't have to conquer it - I can wait and let God conquer the giants that loom over me - and then I can take them out! 

Today I'm going to wait on Him to take out the giants I am facing. I'm going to acknowledge that I have no strength in myself and that God's strength in me is more than enough to carry me through. And when someone asks or looks at me as if to ask, who are you?  I can answer with I am the child of the most high God Who fights my foes for me - and brings them to the ground so I can conquer them. I will wait for Him to conquer the giants in my land today - and then I won't nurse them back to health. I will wait on Him today to bring down anything and everything that rises up to tell me I am not good enough, and God is not strong enough. I will rejoice that He has arrived to live with me! (Zephaniah 3:17 NLT) and I can rest in His love. Will you join me?

Abraham's Faith

So this morning I'm reading through Romans 4 about Abraham and his faith. In the 20th verse, it says his faith never wavered. Let me explain first thing - I'm no Abraham. I am honest and open about the fact my faith has wavered; and the first to admit I've totally lost it a few times along the way.

It makes it difficult to face challenges in life when we are indirectly (and sometimes directly) taught that circumstances occur because we don't have faith. Faith-ers have this distorted view that says if you believe hard enough and are good enough at it nothing bad will ever happen to you or your family. That just simply doesn't bear out in scriptures, as we've discussed here before.

If faith prevents difficult situations there's be no faith building stories like David and Goliath, Moses and the Red Sea, Joseph in prison, Paul and Silas in Prison or Jesus on the cross. That's just to name a few. It was in  the struggle we see their faith, not the fact that they believed to avoid it.

We hold on to the stories in scripture where we see God prevail. David took Goliath down! Joseph wasn't always in prison and did see his dreams come to pass. Moses crossed that Red Sea, Paul and Silas got out of prison and Jesus rose from the grave!! But each of them had to walk through the difficulty to get to the end. Even Job held on to faith in dire circumstances and even though God restored everything to him - he never got his first kids back. He suffered loss and clung to faith.

So as I am reading about Abraham's faith in Romans 4, all these stories are going through my head. The act of faith is not avoidance - it's the circumcision of the heart. Abraham believed God before the covenant of circumcision. Verse 11 says the circumcision was a sign of his faith. It didn't cause him to have faith, but was an outward demonstration of the covenant of faith.

In verse 20 where it talks about Abraham never wavering in his faith it says instead of wavering, his faith grew stronger. I know my faith has been totally redefined, especially since I got into this caregiving gig through great tragedy. I'll tell you I lost it altogether a time or two. But I always come back around.

While I cannot honestly say that I have not wavered in my faith during the trials of life, I can say I have seen my faith grow. Even though it's been totally redefined and may not look like I thought it would. I can say my faith in God (not just what He can do) is continuing to grow. If you'll take a close look - it's likely your faith is being strengthened too. Maybe it just looks like determination that says to God - I won't let go of You! even when we don't understand. Maybe it looks like running to Him to find answers that remain fuzzy. Maybe faith looks like tears streaming down your face asking Him why one more time. No matter how it looks - if you are still at his feet - you have faith.

Romans 4:20 says Abraham's faith grew stronger, and in this he brought glory to God.

So if you are still standing, even on wobbly knees. If you are still trusting, even with shaky heart. If you are still praying, even silently because words are gone. If you are still wondering and quietly seeking Him even if you didn't want to sometimes. Your faith is bringing glory to God; and I believe He is pleased.

Today my thoughts will be on how He finds pleasure when I pursue Him - no matter what life looks like from here. I'll turn my thoughts to the fact that He's still right here - and He has me in His heart - and I can't escape. My meditations will be on the fact that I don't have to work to please Him - He's happy with my faith, my trust and the fact that I am bound to run to Him. And I will trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

What did you say?

Over the weekend I took a couple of hours to go through my big box of writing stuff. I've collected quite a few things over the years and have tons of unfinished projects. My goal was to get it all organized and get started on something...anything! I can now proudly say I have all my projects gathered together and somewhat organized, and I have 2-3 I am ready to dive into and get done. But among all my scattered notes, ideas and thoughts I found a study I had done that I didn't even remember doing.

It seems I've gone through the Psalms and looked at how the psalmists dealt with the voice of the enemy. I've started collecting my thoughts around this idea and the project is underway.

I've thought quite a bit about this the last couple of days and just last night it hit me - the enemy doesn't have a voice if we don't give him one. If we look at Psalm 3, David speaks of what the enemy is saying about him. Specifically - God will never rescue him!" (v. 2 NLT)

But David wasn't sitting around the campfire collaborating with a physical enemy. He was trying to stay one step ahead of them. He did not literally hear the enemy say those words. It's what he felt. Maybe it's just me, but those darn voices in my head can lead me way off track some days. No one is telling me I'm crazy, I can't do it, I'm going to fail, etc. It's my perception of what everyone thinks.

My enemy wants me to think that God is not going to rescue me either. He would like for me to give up hope, sit back on my laurels and stop trying to believe. He wants to sap our hope, trust and faith because he knows if we don't continue in our faith he'll have us backed into a corner incapacitated. The voice of the enemy has not changed over the years - it's still feeding us the same thing it was handing out to David all those years ago.

What I found interesting was David's response. He simply declared what God had done:

You O Lord, are a shield around me,
My glory and the lifter of my head.
I cried out - and He answered me...
I lay down and slept - I woke up in safety
for the Lord was watching over me.

And then he made his faith statement: I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies who surround me on every side.  Following that with a prayer: Arise, O Lord! Rescue me, my God! Then he finishes off the psalm with another declaration and a prayer:  Victory comes from You, O Lord.May Your blessings rest on Your people.

David silenced the enemy's voice in his head through prayer and declaration. He stated what He knew about God - even though he was seeing no direct action from Him. In the midst of the battle on the field and in the mind David says - You O Lord are a shield around me - the glory and lifter of my head! 

For the caregiver thoughts and emotions are ever eroding away at our faith. The day-to-day can be a constant struggle to keep our heads above water and not be swept underneath the tide. Even though we are not fighting a physical enemy specifically, the mental struggle can be incapacitating at times. The multitude of what-ifs and whys can wipe us out - and they can come often.

Today in the midst of the struggle I will declare with David: You O Lord are my shield - You are my glory and lifter of my head! My thoughts will be on how my choice to be a caregiver pleases Him. On how as I let love be the driving force behind why I am a caregiver - I look like Him. I do not resemble the enemy like he would like me to think! I will remind myself that the enemy's words are always lies - and God's word is always truth. I choose to embrace the truth today with my heart and mind and declare: He is my shield! He will protect my soul! He is with me like a mighty warrior! He will lift my head.   Will you join me?


The Macedonian Call

In Acts 16, Paul has a dream in which a man is pleading for him to come to Macedonia. In verse 10, Paul says he could only assume "God was calling us to preach the Good News there." (NLT) And they left immediately for the journey.

Once they got to Macedonia, there was good; and there was bad. They met Lydia - a true blessing. And then they met a deomon-possessed fortune teller who taunted them. When she came to know the Lord, her masters knew the loss of revenue they would suffer and caused a huge uprising against Paul and Silas and they were wrongly accused and tossed in a jail cell.

Of course, God worked even that out for good as when they praised Him from that dark, prison cell, He loved it so much He joined in with them! The earth began to respond when earth's praise met heaven's joy and everything started shaking and they were set free and many people were saved.

In light of the good that came out of that - it's interesting what Paul said about their Macedonian trip.  In 2 Corinthians 7:5, Paul says this: When we arrived in Macedonia there was no rest for us. Outside there was conflict from every direction, and inside there was fear.

What? THE Apostle Paul said that? When so much good was going on and so many were coming to know the Lord? Yes. Even though we have no record of his emotional journey to Macedonia, he reveals his fears to his readers later on. I'd have to say that in many ways as a caregiver, I feel conflict on every side and fear inside. A lot.

The next verse in 2 Corinthians 7 though says this: But God, who encourages those who are discouraged, encouraged us by the arrival of Titus. We need more Tituses. Most of us in a caregiving position are not going to be blessed with a Titus, a fellow believer, who will come and encourage us today. But God is faithful and He's creative too - He will find a way to bring encouragement.

For me today, it was in finding the lyrics to a song I wrote back in 1988. Here are the lyrics:

Macedonia
When I fail at life's little problems
You are there.
When I feel like I failed the test,
You still care.
No matter how low I feel I go,
You're still there.

All the problems all the cares of Life
Don't change the truth 
You're still there.
Nothing depletes Your strength and power
For nothing can change your love
You still care.

Even in the darkest night
There's nothing to compare
For it's all broken up...by Your light.
The strongest night can't take away the truth
You're still there.
(C) November 29,1988 J Olinger

I have no idea what I might have been going through at the time. But now I know that there were many dark days in between then and today. I had not yet faced the darkest night of my soul. But two phrases stuck out to me last night when I came across this yellowed paper. One - nothing depletes Your strength and power and the other one - the strongest night can't take away the truth.

I have rolled those over and over in my mind since I found this sheet of paper. I have to say, it's stood the test of time. He is still strong and on the throne - my situation did not dictate His removal! And no matter how dark the nights may have been - His truth still stands. My situation has no bearing on the truth - His truth is still the truth.

Today I am going to meditate on these two phrases. And I'm going to rejoice in the fact that even if I live in Macedonia, (fears within/conflict without) His truth, strength and power are not only unaffected by it - but He continuously perfects them in me. I'll think about how His strength is made perfect, mature, and complete in my weaknesses. And I'll smile, because I feel so very weak - and I'll yield all of that to Him to work with today - will you join me?

Onward! (Wherever that may be!)

One foot in front of the other. How many times have I used that phrase to explain to people how I "do it"? Something just kicks in and you do what you have to do; and you just keep on doing it. I guess it is moving forward - or going "onward," but it can feel like we are going around in circles. Continuously. Never ending.

It can feel like everyday is the same as the day before with the exact same chores to do. You know the drill. There's bathing, transferring, dressing, feeding, transferring again, laundry, and ton of little chores to do that make the bigger ones easier. Eventually, even the little surprises become part of the routine. You know those things all too well too. There's case managers who forget to order supplies, or can't get the order right....ever, aides that don't show up the day you finally decided to go do something, or nurses trying to cram all her visits in during the last week of the month. Those are just a few of the things that I can think of off the top of my head. It sometimes feels (to me) like we face the giant every day.

David only faced one Goliath, Daniel only visited the lion's den once, it can feel like we face Goliaths and lion's dens every day sometimes. These are just a couple favorite Bible stories we like to share, stories where God made a victor out of a common person. There are other stories demonstrating God's sustaining power too. For instance, Noah only built one ark, but it took him years. Job was only sick one time, but it wasn't just a one day thing; and he never got his kids back. Gideon and Joshua faced battle after battle - there was never just one battle and it was over. Even David spent years running from Saul's spear until he finally became king. And of course there's Joseph who was betrayed by his brothers and spent years in slavery and prison before he ever saw the throne God promised. But all these faithful men walked onward in their faith no matter what they faced. We can too.

We can continue to move forward in our faith even though every day presents obstacles before us. Whether it is the one-time looming giant or sticking with the building of an ark, we can press on into Him. I'm not saying it's always (or ever) easy, but if these guys can hold to the faith in the situations they faced on a daily basis, we can too. Even if we don't see an end in sight. Just like God was there for them in whatever it was they faced, He's here for us too. And that's why we can continue to push onward.

It can be difficult since we can't see how our story ends yet. News flash: they couldn't either. We can read their whole stories in the matter of a few minutes and forget that they walked it out over years. But they held on to faith in Him. All those years in a dark dungeon didn't stop  Joseph from believing. As a matter of fact when he was dying - he told them they were to take his bones with him when they left Egypt. He never gave up hope - even in death.

Today my goal will be to stay focused on Him rather than my situation. My meditations will be on His ever abiding presence that does not leave my faith stranded. I can always trust in Him to keep my soul. I will turn my thoughts to how He continues to walk this walk with me - I don't go onward (wherever that may lead) without Him. We are inseparable. So today I will think about how inseparable God and I are - will you join me?

Beyond the Cave

As I was going about my early morning routine of making coffee, bolusing and changing my son etc. I just felt heavy. Over the last few weeks I've been toying with the idea of getting rid of stuff... my house is so full. I do think this is a factor. I simply have too much to keep up with. As I walked through the apartment with one eye open (this is BC - before coffee), I thought of how I need to just go through and get rid of stuff. Lots of stuff.

As I walked through my living room, my medal rack caught my eye and I though about how I carry as little as possible with me when I run. I strip down to shorts and a light t-shirt, put my phone in an arm band to keep my hands free, and wear a small runner's belt to hold my keys. I do not wear long pants even when it's cold. And if it is chilly out, I still wear as little as possible because I don't want anything to weight me down.

With a big sigh, I wondered if I got rid of stuff in my life that was weighing me down, could I run the race of life more easily? Hebrews 12:1 immediately came to mind. The writer says: let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily hinders our progress. and let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.

Once I got my coffee and sat down, I looked it up and read through the chapter. I'm so thankful God continues to show us new stuff when we read His word. He didn't exempt us from learning more about Him and His ways when we became a caregiver, did He?

When I got to verse 12 I read and then reread it. It says this: So take a new grip with your tired hands and stand firm on your shaky legs.  Boy, did I need to hear that this morning! But then, something else caught my attention. The next verse starts out with then those who follow you...

Now I am really focused. You see, the chapter starts out with us running because there is a crowd of witnesses who have already walked the life of faith cheering us on. We are looking at Christ - the author and finisher of our faith, being cheered on by the stories and lives of those who have walked it before... all because there are more folks coming up behind us who need to see examples of His work in our lives.

We can't stop. We can't quit. No matter how difficult life is, how weak we feel, how encumbered we feel - there's more reasons than ourselves to keep on going. They did it - we are doing it - so others can do it too. It can be so easy to get wrapped up in our own little caregiver's cave we forget about others and their struggle.

So today, I'm going to take these weak, tired hands and get a good grip on Him one more time. I'll pull myself up on my tired, shaky legs so I can continue to walk this walk of trusting Him. My thoughts will be on how He empowers me to walk the walk of faith. Those before me have clung to Him with all their strength and I will too! Today I will cling to Him with everything I have and I will keep my focus on His faithfulness. I will trust Him for one more day - will you join me?

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...