Continuous Delivery

 I got on one of my shopping apps this morning to order a few things for the upcoming blizzard. This is an app I use a lot and order from it almost weekly. I started down through the list I made and ordered each item. When I got done, a notice popped up stating they no longer deliver fire starters. I'll spare you the details, but I was quite upset. Here we are in horribly frigid weather, with dangerous conditions getting worse over the next few days and for some unknown reason (they NEVER give a reason), they decided firestarters could not be delivered. I've ordered them numerous times before. I believe at this point - I will cancel my subscription since this is not the first time it's happened on items I order frequently.

The good thing is that over the last few months as I've prepared morning devotions on peace - I've absorbed some of my own teachings! lol. As upset as I was it only took me a few seconds to settle myself down and let His peace reign in my heart once again. As I reclaimed the peace He gave us all those years ago, I whispered a simple prayer followed by thanksgiving. I said I'm glad You don't stop your deliveries.

That simple thought that turned into a prayer began a deluge of thoughts that took me back to this morning's devotions. I saw Psalm 23 with new eyes as I've been walking this journey of embracing His peace. But what stood out to me as I lifted my concerns over the impending weather conditions was this. Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.

I'm so glad that God's peace, mercy, goodness, faithfulness, provision, love.... and more - are not regulated by a spout that He turns off at will. He continues to chase us down with mercy, goodness, and more. He doesn't love us until He just doesn't want to deliver anymore, His love has no end - the spout is always open it's up to us to get under it and receive His blessings!

Today, I'm going to picture myself standing under a spout that has a continuous stream of mercy, love, grace, forgiveness, help, faithfulness, peace, and more. I'll thank Him for being my provider, not just for my natural needs but for my soul and spirit needs too. My meditations will be on how He doesn't hold any part of Himself back but continues to give us freely all things. I'll rejoice in His abundant goodness and trust Him for today. Will you join me?

                                                                                                                                            

If you enjoy these devotionals, I have others! I've expanded my bookstore on Amazon. My devotionals are available in Kindle or print format. The new Bible study guides are now available on Kindle and in print! Check out my growing bookstore: My Bookshelf

I also recently opened my own bookstore. I'm presently filling it up with my books - check out the ones I have available in eBook format. You can download them and read them on your phone! Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore.

True Confidence

 

Do you ever have those mornings where you know you have a ton of things lined out to do but you just want to stay under the warm covers a little while longer? Most days, we just can't. Personally, I always regret it later in the day when I don't get as much done as I wanted to. But that is nonetheless where I was this morning. 

Usually, I get up and put on coffee and let it make while I change Chris and bolus him some water. Then, I crawl back into bed with my coffee cup and Bible in hand. Sometimes, I wish I had the choice to sit there all day. But my coffee would run out. And then there's that there is just too much that has to be done - and I'm the only one to do it. lol

While sitting there this morning, I felt my emotions try to take the dive into the caregiver's abyss. The fog was trying to overtake me. But I just don't have time for it today. Like you - I probably just need a day off. But of course, they don't happen. And their rarity is even rarer since the pandemic.

So I sat with my Bible and my coffee looking for a bit of comfort and some scriptures on peace to share in my Facebook live morning devotions. You know, when I purpose to dive into the Word, I am never disappointed. That's one thing I love about God and His Word - He meets me where I am. He is not afraid to walk right into my chaos and infuse His peace. He doesn't give me a checklist to complete before He does it either. I'm afraid I'd never get there if He did that! lol

I ended up my studies this morning in a favorite passage. It's Isaiah 30:15-18. The first part is what stood out to me because it's what I needed most. The prophet Isaiah says, In returning and rest you shall be saved; In quietness and confidence shall be your strength. Well, immediately I knew this confidence was not in myself. It's a confidence that is put in God that gives us the strength to face one more day. 

I'm fairly confident I'm going to make it through today - I've made it through many other days that looked a lot rougher than today, that's for sure. But I have not - and will not- make it through in my own strength. I'm very aware that He carries me at least half the time. That's where my quiet confidence rests.

Today, I will quietly trust Him to get me from daylight to dark with emotions, mental health, and body intact. As I move through this day, I will remind myself that He is my confidence. He is my strength. My thoughts will be on how I can trust Him with even more of the pieces of my heart. I'll let Him carry me through today. I know He will - that's confidence! Will you be in His arms with me today?

Something Like a Monday

 

It's Monday. I know for myself and many other caregivers, the day of the week doesn't make much difference at all. It doesn't matter, we do the same things every day with a few variations on days with appointments or days we either do or do not have the help. Actually, I was hoping to have something like a Monday to blame this funk on. lol. I hope you can't relate, but I'm pretty sure you do. :-)

It's just one of those days where everything feels out of kilter, but there's no way to get it all back in place. We all have these days, and we all have to just keep putting one foot in front of another and keep on moving. Our loved ones have things that cannot be skipped just because we are in a weird mood. Today (Monday or not) is just like other days with laundry to be done, meals to be prepared, transfers, baths, and you know the list goes on and on. All.Day.Long.

On days like this, I grab an extra cup of coffee. Then, I take a long, deep breath. I sit for a second and go back to the basics. God loves me. I whisper to myself. He hasn't abandoned me. I say a little louder. God cares for me and Chris. Now my eyes begin to sweat as I can finally begin to release the things that are troubling my heart. There are many and they begin to pile up after a while mostly because I forget to pour them out in prayer. 

Days like this are why I encourage daily Bible reading. As I was preparing for my devotions I do on Facebook live every morning, I read in Haggai this morning. It's a short book, but it has a lot of those basics I needed to remind myself of today. In just two short chapters, the prophet Haggai reminds God's people of these basic (but encouraging) truths:

• Be strong - for I am with you. (2:4)
• My Spirit remains among you, do not fear. (2:5)
• I will give peace. (2:9)
• I will receive you. (2:23)
• I have chosen you. (2:23)

I am comforted when I remember that God wants to be with me - even when life's picture gets ugly or a storm blows across the sea of life. He still gives me peace, receives me, and even chases me down sometimes. And suddenly, I'm okay. Just to know that He didn't abandon me and He certainly isn't the author of those feelings. Now - I can face today - even if it's something like a Monday.

Today, when I feel overwhelmed, I will turn my thoughts back to these truths. I'll remind myself that He is with me, He comes for me, accepts me, and wants to be with me. I'll take a deep breath and express my thankfulness to Him for being right here - even on a Monday. Will you join me?

It's ALL Ours

 

This week, I went back and read about the armor of God in Ephesians 6. I'm working on a new study guide about the armor. If you look at each piece it basically boils down to the Word of God. We need the word of God to cover us for our battles. 

Paul was writing to the church at Ephesus and coming to the conclusion of his letter. He says, finally, my brethren, be strong in the Lord and in the power of His might. Put on the whole armor of God that you may be able to stand against the wiles of the devil. (NASB) As a caregiver, what I like about this is that there are absolutely no exclusions. Not one phrase indicated any of the believers were left out of the discussion. Thankfully, Paul didn't say, everyone but caregivers put on the armor of God. He didn't say, all of you but caregivers can wear the armor and defeat the devil.  It sounds silly, doesn't it? But it's easy to get caught up in our day-to-day and forget the entire Bible is still ours to claim. Every jot and tittle is applicable to the caregiver's life too - we are never left out!

Paul encourages the Ephesian believers to put on the whole armor of God - it covers from head to toe. Now, as caregivers, we are not left out of scripture, not excluded from any blessing. But we are also not excused from any responsibility. Paul says to put on the armor of God. We still have to do that - God isn't going to dress us with His armor, we have a part to do, actions to take. We are not excluded from the protection God's armor provides, but we are also not excluded from the putting on part.

Nowhere does scripture give instructions and say, unless you are a caregiver. That kind of hurt my feelings early on, you know? I wanted to be coddled just a little bit. :-) But He's got us covered anyway - because repeatedly the word reminds us that He is our strength. So on those days when we really are not sure how we are going to put one foot in front of the other, He's got us covered. He gives us the strength to breathe somedays. You know? (I know you do!) 

Today, I will turn my thoughts to the armor of God and how He uses His word to protect all believers, caregivers included. My meditations will be on how His word protects my whole being and how He gives me the strength to wear His armor when I feel like I am at my weakest. I trust Him to have my front, my back, and everything in between. And I will trust Him for today. Will you armor up and join me?

Strength from Weakness

 

Have you ever had someone say to you, I don't know how you do it? As a caregiver, I think I'm supposed to take it as a compliment. I usually mutter something like, Oh, we all do what we need to do. Or some other blow-it-off phrase. But what I'd really like to do is yell - I don't know either!  Lol - maybe it's just me.

Caregivers just keep giving and doing day in and day out. We kind of get used to a new normal and get into a groove that makes everything happen. But of course, there are those little kinks. My kink usually starts with a cough. When I hear Chris cough I start making a plan. Do I have all his prescriptions on hand? Is the battery charged on the oxygen thingy? 

Other times it's less worrisome things like this week I ran out of gloves. They were delivered to the office on Saturday - but 1 - I couldn't go get them anyway. And 2 - I didn't know until after office hours. Not having supplies, aids not showing up, delivery services that have no available time slots before the time you need an item or two... these all wear us down!  

So, when someone says I don't know how you do it  (perhaps they should say - without breaking down.) I think - me either. Most days I don't feel like I "do it" well enough. But here's the thing I am learning. There is power in realizing our weaknesses. This morning I was reading in 2 Corinthians 4 where Paul is talking about the Light shining in our hearts and how we have this treasure in an earthen vessel. We are just a clay pot holding the very glory of God.

But Paul goes on to talk about how he was 

• hard-pressed on every side but not crushed
• perplexed but not in despair
• persecuted but not forsaken
• struck down but not destroyed

We talk a lot about how David poured out his honest, raw emotions before God too. What I like about David and Paul is that they were honest and transparent about their feelings. They weren't afraid to tell God the truth. That open and real expression is an act of worship. It's in those moments of weakness, that we realize His strength. As we pour out our souls and empty ourselves before Him - He fills us back up with His strength. Pauls says in my weakness You are strong.

Today, I will meditate on how God puts His strength in this weak, old clay pot. My thoughts will be on how He takes time to hear my deepest heartfelt cries and listens intently to them as He begins to pour new strength for a new day in. I'll rest right there - and trust Him for just today. Will you join me?

                                                                                                                                                                

Made it!

 Do you ever have days where it feels like life is just dragging on? I do. I wake up and think, how long has it been like this? How far do I have to go? My BC (before caregiving) life becomes foggy memories. Maybe it's just me, but that's how I felt this morning. Navigating caregiving isn't easy - but it's do-able. There are far too many of us doing it to refute that fact! 

When my son and I moved to this apartment over four months ago I will admit I was nervous. Probably more like downright scared, but we'll call it nervous. The rent is higher than any I've ever paid. I know how my work can fluctuate - it can be feast or famine sometimes. I'll have lots of work - then none. I have built up a small bookstore by writing study guides and devotionals, but I keep the prices so low so people like me can afford them, it doesn't bring in much that I can count on. So, I was a bit nervous.

Here were are at the beginning of February I can say I already paid my rent for the month. I was kind of in awe just thinking about how God has provided. After I hit "send" I thought,  I made it! whew! But for us caregivers, it's like that most every day, isn't it?

Today, we can all say - I've made it this far. God has carried us this - far and today is NOT the day He's going to stop. We've all seen bad days, better days - and some good days; and God has been there through every single one of them. He has not - and will not abandon us on our caregiving journey. He never wrings His hands in my worry - and never says to me, well, I'm not sure what you're going to do. (Sorry - that's a funny image in my mind. lol) It's funny because it's so impossible. 

He always has a plan. His goal is always to get us to the other side of what we are facing so we can say with Him - We made it! I was reading Jeremiah 31:3 this morning. It's where God told Israel through the prophet - I have loved you with an everlasting love. They were in the midst of captivity. Yet God was extending His love and mercy to them still. Every once in a while, honestly, caregiving feels a little like being a captive. I'm a captive of love - a bond slave to the situation since I choose to care for my son and my aunt. But God's love and mercy transcend the circumstances and still reaches out to our hearts to express His deep love.

Today, I will meditate on what it's like to rest in His love. I will let His unending love wrap my heart and my wounds and I will rest in that. My thoughts will be on how He reaches past circumstances of all sorts to extend His love to us. He is ruthless in His pursuit of us. That truth will carry me through today. I will rejoice in it - will you join me?

The Help I Need

Some mornings I read through a book of the Bible, others I look at one topic, or I follow a Bible study guide if I have one. This morning was one of those mornings I was all over the place but ended up in the right place. I had started reading in Psalm 138 where I left off yesterday, but then I started scanning back through the Psalms and found myself in Psalm 124. the last verse says this Our help is from the Lord, who made the heavens and the earth. (NLT) 

Of course, this is a familiar verse for me. I even wrote a song to it when my son was first injured. I fell in love with Psalm 121 while living at the hospital with him. I put it to music with an old guitar one of his friends loaned me. Sure enough, I look back at Psalm 121 and it says the same thing. My help comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and the earth! (NLT)

I put little arrows by those two verses - they are across from each other on the same page in my NLT. Then, I continued to read back through the Psalms. I really love how the psalmist are open, real, and raw about their fears and emotions. They didn't sugarcoat anything so their readers would feel better. They are down, dirty, and real. I can hang out with this kind of people. lol

As I continued over the pages I somehow ended up in Psalm 25. Guess what I found! Not the exact phrase, but one similar. Verse 15 says My eyes are always looking to the Lord for help, for He alone can rescue me from the traps of my enemies. (NLT) I was like - Wow! It's everywhere this morning so I must need to hear this - my help comes from the Lord.

I went back and forth reading these three verses. In my meditations I focused on how this Creator - of the ends of the earth - the One who breathed into Adam to make him a living soul and we are all still being sustained by that one breath - the One who measured the waters of the earth in a single palm and used a hand span to measure the heavens.....helps me. 

I don't know about you - but just that thought overwhelmed my emotions this morning. I know I run close to the edge lol - but my eyes sweated just a little bit as I let those thoughts roll out of my mind and onto the keyboard. I think I need an aid, a nurse, a doctor, another person and another set of hands would be nice too.... but God is all the help I need.

He can put that fire in my soul and give me the wisdom for making decisions, and the strength to carry on. While we are caring for another whole person (or more) as caregivers - He is caring for us. He's the ultimate caregiver! 

Today, I will meditate on how He is my help - and He is all the help I need. (But He does send help in flesh and blood sometimes too - and that's nice!) My thoughts will be on His greatness yet His careful watch over my heart. I'll set my thoughts on His overflowing mercy, peace, and grace. And I will thank Him and rejoice in Him today - will you join me?