Dare to Hope

 Over the weekend, my son and I traveled to Missouri for the funeral of my daddy's last of 6 brothers. It was a nice trip and wonderful to reconnect with family. But the time out of our "norm" was really good for my head. Sometimes, it takes breaking that day-to-day grind to help see more clearly. Of course, I packed the whole house for just a one-night stay. Lol. It's a lot of work to travel with a loved one you have to provide care for - I won't deny that. But the break from the normal was still wonderful.

The 4-hour drive allowed me to gather my thoughts, get some of them lined out, and toss a few that were negative. The out-of-normal setting gave me time to assess where I am, what I'm doing, and how to proceed. However, there is a thought I've been toying with for some time, and it started taking shape during the trip. I've been trying to rearrange my mornings, so they are more productive. Finally, I started a devotional called, Command the Morning. The sub or after the title is ...and the rest of the day will follow.

While pulling some scriptures together to get started on the actual writing, I found myself in Lamentations 3. The book will start with verse 23, which says His mercies are new every morning. I plan on taking advantage of that. Lol. But as I was reading through the verses preceding and following that verse, I found myself captured by verses 19-21.  The New Living Translation (1996) says this:

The thought of my suffering and homelessness is bitter beyond words.

I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss.

Yet I will dare to hope when I remember this...

Let me say that I don't think of my caregiving years as an awful time. I certainly cannot deny the grief. We all know it is challenging, numbing, and difficult. But we can dare to hope because we know that His mercies are refreshed for us each morning, and He will keep our souls no matter what. How can I have hope when I know pretty much what each day is going to look like? Because I will focus my attention on The Day that is coming. The day where He will wipe away our tears, our grief, our burdens, and our troubles. For today - I can hope because I know that He purposefully refreshed His mercies to carry me. This passage says it is His mercies (plural - so it covers more! lol) that keep us from complete destruction. He is faithful, so I can dare to hope in Him and His sustaining power.

Today, I will focus my thoughts on God's ability and dedication to sustaining me. I'll remind myself that He has His eye on little ole me. He is invested in my future, ordering my steps and keeping my soul. So, I can rest in Him as I hope for His fresh mercies to carry me through one more day. Will you join me?

                                                                                                                                          

Worth the Wait

 As caregivers, our days provide many opportunities to make decisions. Some of them are simple, and others are often life-changing. It's never easy to make decisions that directly affect another person. Yet day after day, we are faced with decision-making necessities. At any given time, we can have a list of decisions that need to be made. Hopefully, most of them are non-pressure decisions, so that we have plenty of time to consider every aspect. But for me, given too much time to think can suck me into a horrible place mentally and emotionally until I am totally overwhelmed and nearly rendered unable to make a good choice.

This week, I've been suddenly faced with a big decision to make. I've been toying with some ideas, but it has become more of a necessity at this point. I was almost to the point of being overwhelmed and frustrated when it dawned on me that I can literally give it to God and wait for Him to answer. Novel idea, right?!

My mind started rehearsing several scriptures that have to do with waiting. When we wait on God, He strengthens our hearts. (Psalm 27:14) When we wait on the Lord, He will renew our strength. (Isaiah 40:31) It's starting to sound like a really good thing to wait on Him. But, man, is it hard sometimes. We have a great example in Abraham. God made Abraham and Sarah a promise, but they decided not to wait and ended up with an Ishmael. While God blessed Ishmael, he was not the seed of the promise, and they all found themselves in a big mess. One that continues until today, actually.

But in Genesis 22, it seems Abraham learned to wait on God. He demonstrated that he could obey God by taking Isaac up to the altar of sacrifice. In Romans 4, scriptures reveal that Abraham trusted God so much that he knew if he obeyed God - that God would raise Isaac from the dead if need be. I think we see that Abraham figured out it was worth the wait, as he just trusted God for the outcome and walked in obedience.

Today, I want to figure that out. I want to be able to put things in God's hands, walk away, and wait for Him. I'll wait for instruction, further direction, understanding, or an obvious answer. But I am determined to wait for Him instead of trying to plow a way through without faith. God has proven trustworthy, has He not? We can trust Him. Will  you join me in the "waiting room?"

Precious Memories

 

Today is my son's 39th birthday. I can't help but think this is not the way it was supposed to be. He should have finished college (he lacked one semester), gotten married, traveled the world, and had kids by now. Life doesn't always play out on the roads our dreams make. I find memories both haunting and precious.

I have wonderful memories of watching my kids in the marching band. I recall teaching Chris to drive, do laundry, and cook mac & cheese, like other parents. We spent time playing catch and served on worship teams together. He played the drums, and I was either on the keyboard or guitar. Countless hours were spent making music. We read together and did crazy stuff together. Once he was an adult, we'd sit around and discuss lots of philosophical matters while downing a couple of pots between us. One time, we were sitting on the porch, just finishing up a deep conversation and the last drop of coffee. We sat in silence for a minute, then I asked him if he was ready to go or if we needed to make another pot of coffee. He thought for a second. Then, he said, more coffee, of course. We talked for hours that day. I could probably write a book of precious memories I've made with my son and my daughter too.

Those same memories can be haunted by the "supposed to be's." Some days, I have to stay away from social media because I see his friends having successful careers, marrying, divorcing, and having kids. Most days, I'm good, but there are days I just can't handle it emotionally.

I wonder if Joseph's memories haunted him as he sat in the jail cell all those years for something he didn't even do. Maybe he thought of memories he had with his brothers before they betrayed him and sold him as a slave. Surely he remembered sitting around the fire and talking with his dad. What about Daniel? He had memories of freedom he would never taste again in his lifetime. Managing memories emotionally is tough stuff.

Many caregivers are caring for aging parents or loved ones who suffer from some type of dementia or other memory loss. We watch them slip further away from us with each passing day. Memories again are precious, but they can also make the pain of the moment more difficult to handle. How do we deal with it all? I think for me, I'll package it all up and lay it at His feet. He sees the intense pain in our hearts. He sees the tears that fall - and even the ones that don't. God gets us.

Today, I will focus on things that cannot change. I'll set my mind on His peace, mercy, grace, and love that carry us through caregiving days. I'll choose to remember the ways God has helped me get through the tough times before and during caregiving. Psalm 77:10 says I will remember the years of the right hand of the Most High. I will remember the works of the Lord, surely I will remember Your wonders of old. I will also meditate on Your work, and talk of Your deeds. (NKJV) Asaph gives us a bit of direction for when we can only see pain. Just look at how God has worked on our behalf in the past. So, today, I will focus on how God has helped me on this caregiving journey as I think of warm and wonderful memories of my son on his day. Will you join me?

Still Trusting

 I woke up this morning to realize that I am still trusting God. How do I know it? Because the long list of to-dos and concerns running through my head were each one turned into a prayer. As I was praying through my mental list, I realized I was still trusting Him for answers. Even though they may not come immediately, by noon or in a way that I recognize them at all - the answers will come. Situations will be resolved. I'll get through. And in its most basic state - that is trust. That is faith.

I'll share my FaceBook Live video at the bottom of this post. In it, I shared that Jesus calmed the storm and said those beautiful words that we need to be spoken to our souls every day. Peace, be still. And then, He turned to the disciples and told them they had no faith. But He still calmed the storm. They were learning to trust Him from the inside out. I dare say that, as caregivers, that is what we do every single day.

Are you still reaching for Him? Do you still pray for answers? Do you continue to read the Bible to find an anchor for your soul to hold on to? Then you are still trusting too! It's easy to condemn ourselves for being in the middle of the storm, but just like the disciples, Jesus sent them to the other side. Our continued seeking, reaching, reading, and praying are all indicators that we still intensely need God. We haven't given up yet!

Sometimes, I get frustrated with God because I don't get the answer I want, or it doesn't come like I expected it. I also get frustrated with the storm. I get tired. Every once in a while, I'll think, why am I even praying. God doesn't care. But in a matter of minutes, something else comes up, and I find myself running to His throne with it in hand. Lol. I can't help myself - I trust God even when the boat is rocking to and fro. I bet you do too! So, give yourself a break!

Today, I am going to encourage my soul to rest in Him. I'll remind myself that I just keep trusting Him in and out of the storms life brings. My heart and my hands are continually lifted to the God I serve. I trust Him to calm the storms around me, even when I doubt. Even when I worry. Even when it all feels out of control. I can trust Him. You can trust Him. We can trust Him... can we join together in trusting Him for one more day?

Well, That's Confusing

 We are fortunate to have a doctor that comes to our home to see my son. She was just here, but what she told me left me very confused. You see, Friday, Chris had a fever of 100.9, so she prescribed antibiotics. Her monthly visit was already scheduled for today, so that worked out well. But what she told me, I found very confusing. 

The phone call I got late Friday afternoon concerning the x-ray results was that he had bilateral something or other. I felt like it was just some leftovers from Covid. Today, the doc said the x-ray looks exactly the same as it did when he came home from the hospital with Covid, but she did the antibiotics because he had a fever. She left me scratching my head. I have tons of questions, which in itself is not unusual - since I am the "Question Queen." Lol.

Is he sick or not? Why would you prescribe antibiotics unless you knew he had an infection of some sort? Why are his lungs not clearing out? Frustration began to rise as I tried to figure out what to do and how to respond. As caregivers, we can find ourselves in these confusing situations a lot, and it requires us to be at the top of our game all the time! 

Sometimes, I find myself confused when I read the Bible too. Jesus said that He left His peace here - why don't I feel it? He said He would never leave us alone - so why do I feel so alone most of the time? Jesus told Peter that he was to be sifted. Peter's faith was to be tried. Then Jesus told him that He prayed for him so his faith wouldn't fail. Why didn't Jesus pray Peter wouldn't have to go through that storm? Why didn't God deliver the 3 Hebrew children before they had to go through the fire? Why did Daniel sit all night long in a den with the lions? Couldn't God have rescued him earlier? Angels brought Peter out of prison twice in the book of Acts. Paul and Silas were rescued from the jail cell too. Did they have peace? Why didn't they get to avoid the hard stuff? 

It can be a bit confusing when we see God act one way in a situation but do something else in another. For instance, Jesus healed blind people in the Gospels. But one time, He spits in the dirt and made mud that he applied to the blind guy's eyes. But He didn't do it the same way every time - He only did it that way one time. Why? Maybe it's so we wouldn't think faith has a formula. Maybe it's so we will have to just trust Him for the outcome while walking through the circumstances. There isn't a "caregiver's prayer" in the Bible. And there's no magic switch to make everything all hunky-dory again. When circumstances are confusing - it's simply a call to trust Him more.

Today, I will commit to trusting God for those confusing things on this journey. Instead of letting my head run off with tons of questions, I will focus on God. Every time I get confused, I'll thank God for something different that He's provided for this journey through time. Maybe I'll start with peace. Then, I will move on to grace... and mercy... His presence. I will choose to trust Him for one more day - will you join me?

                                                                                                                                                           

Find a New Hobby for These Surprising Benefits

  

Hobbies can help us connect to our creative side, spend quality time with our loved ones, and boost confidence, and, as EverydayPower.com notes, they can also promote mental and physical wellness. Whether you’re learning something new from a class or taking the initiative to tackle a project at home, practicing a hobby can improve your quality of life enormously. Looking for something fun to do with a friend or loved one? 

Here are a few suggestions when you’re ready to find a fun new hobby to try:

 Choose something that boosts your health

 It can be challenging to take care of your overall wellness at times, especially when you’re busy taking care of family obligations. Learning to focus on your physical and mental health needs is much easier when it’s fun, however, and that’s where a hobby comes in. Look for one that helps you get active, such as a yoga class, or consider starting a walking group or joining a local organization that allows you access to swim activities. You can also try a hobby that will allow you to make healthier lifestyle changes, such as a cooking class that focuses on vegetarian dishes. The Food Network points out that this is a perfect option if you have a garden and want to incorporate the foods you grow into your meals, and it’s a great way to spend quality time with a parent or child.

 Turn your skills into a new career

 Whether you’re ready to try something new like yoga or focus on building skills you already have in an area like photography or painting, you may decide to take your new hobby one step further and turn it into a business. This is a great way to earn extra money or even start a new career, but it’s important to make sure you understand what you’ll be taking on, especially when it comes to maintaining your enjoyment of the activity once you have to do it.

 Starting a business may sound like a major undertaking, and while it does require some hard work, it’s much easier to do these days than you might think, thanks to online resources. You can use a formation service to create an LLC, which will protect your assets and provide tax benefits; just make sure you check the required steps for your state before getting started.

Go back to school to teach

 Another great way to change your career with a hobby is to go into teaching. Finding an activity that you’re skilled at is not only beneficial for you, but it can also benefit others if you learn how to pass those skills on. You can take online classes and study instructional practice and learner development with a Bachelor of Education degree program, which will make it easy to continue taking care of everything else on your plate. As you’re looking at the options, you’ll discover that you might teach language, dance, art, or a traditional subject that you’re passionate about.

 Give yourself space to practice

 No matter how you choose to practice, starting a new hobby is much easier and more relaxing if you have your own space to do it. Whether you need a quiet spot for yoga/meditation or a studio to make art in, giving yourself an area in the house will make the process much more fun. You might turn a garage into a workspace or add a room in the basement that holds all of your crafting supplies. Be sure to keep receipts and other important paperwork when making changes to the home itself so you can turn them into an appraiser and get full value should you decide to sell down the road.

Hobbies have multiple benefits for our well-being, and they can also provide a new way to earn income. Consider earning a teaching degree or starting a business based on your favorite activity, and make sure you give yourself a space at home to practice so you can maximize those benefits.

 Photo via Pexels

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Decisions, Decisions

 

This morning, I stood in my kitchen trying to decide what to make for my son's breakfast. Usually, it's not a difficult decision. I blend oats, nuts, coconut milk, fresh berries, chia seeds, and fresh berries up to put in his tube. But since he's sick again, I thought I might do the chicken soup I made for him yesterday instead. Then, I thought I would make our usual "breakfast' for his lunch feeding and do soup later. It sounds silly in a way, but I just stood there trying to decide which route to take for his food intake today. 

Tons of questions were running through my mind. Would the potatoes be too hard on his system? Aren't the eggs really good for him, though, they have tons of stuff in their yokes? Is the chicken too greasy? Then I got a bit frustrated just because I was having to veer off my norms and make a decision. Making decisions for others is not fun, especially when they can't express themselves.

I also wanted to take him to a local car show today, but again - he's sick. Again. (Sigh) Another decision I had to make. Sometimes, we don't even realize how many decisions we make on a typical caregiving day. Yesterday, I decided to call the doctor, and it was the right choice. The importance of daily and periodic decisions also varies from who really cares to life or death, literally. But there are days when making tons of little decisions can rock our emotions and become overwhelming. That was me this morning. I would say I'm not going to make any decisions today - but, of course, that is a decision. Lol. 

As I was working through various decisions and the accompanying weariness with them, I thought about how God makes decisions. Better yet, I thought about how He made many of them before He said, "Let there be light." He chose to create the world, humans, and everything else we see. He also decided to fuel our lives with a single breath that He breathed into Adam. Psalm 139 reminds us that He knew all of our days and wrote them in a book long before He watched our frame be formed in the womb. God decided that Jesus would be the propitiation for all the sins that would ever be committed in the world - before Adam and Eve even fell. Their sin was a decision to not obey God, by the way.

God decided to love us. He chooses to walk with us through time. He decided to give us His peace, to sustain us by His grace, and to renew His mercies for us each and every morning. 

Today, I will lean into God's heart as I continue to make decisions, no matter how small they seem. I will quiet my soul, rest in His love, and wait for His mercy as I work through the day. I will be still and know He is God. (Psalm 46:10) I will trust Him for each step, each situation, and each decision I have to make today. With that, I can just rest in Him and trust He will guide me with His love. Will you join me?

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