This morning, I stood in my kitchen trying to decide what to make for my son's breakfast. Usually, it's not a difficult decision. I blend oats, nuts, coconut milk, fresh berries, chia seeds, and fresh berries up to put in his tube. But since he's sick again, I thought I might do the chicken soup I made for him yesterday instead. Then, I thought I would make our usual "breakfast' for his lunch feeding and do soup later. It sounds silly in a way, but I just stood there trying to decide which route to take for his food intake today.
Tons of questions were running through my mind. Would the potatoes be too hard on his system? Aren't the eggs really good for him, though, they have tons of stuff in their yokes? Is the chicken too greasy? Then I got a bit frustrated just because I was having to veer off my norms and make a decision. Making decisions for others is not fun, especially when they can't express themselves.
I also wanted to take him to a local car show today, but again - he's sick. Again. (Sigh) Another decision I had to make. Sometimes, we don't even realize how many decisions we make on a typical caregiving day. Yesterday, I decided to call the doctor, and it was the right choice. The importance of daily and periodic decisions also varies from who really cares to life or death, literally. But there are days when making tons of little decisions can rock our emotions and become overwhelming. That was me this morning. I would say I'm not going to make any decisions today - but, of course, that is a decision. Lol.
As I was working through various decisions and the accompanying weariness with them, I thought about how God makes decisions. Better yet, I thought about how He made many of them before He said, "Let there be light." He chose to create the world, humans, and everything else we see. He also decided to fuel our lives with a single breath that He breathed into Adam. Psalm 139 reminds us that He knew all of our days and wrote them in a book long before He watched our frame be formed in the womb. God decided that Jesus would be the propitiation for all the sins that would ever be committed in the world - before Adam and Eve even fell. Their sin was a decision to not obey God, by the way.
God decided to love us. He chooses to walk with us through time. He decided to give us His peace, to sustain us by His grace, and to renew His mercies for us each and every morning.
Today, I will lean into God's heart as I continue to make decisions, no matter how small they seem. I will quiet my soul, rest in His love, and wait for His mercy as I work through the day. I will be still and know He is God. (Psalm 46:10) I will trust Him for each step, each situation, and each decision I have to make today. With that, I can just rest in Him and trust He will guide me with His love. Will you join me?