We are fortunate to have a doctor that comes to our home to see my son. She was just here, but what she told me left me very confused. You see, Friday, Chris had a fever of 100.9, so she prescribed antibiotics. Her monthly visit was already scheduled for today, so that worked out well. But what she told me, I found very confusing.
The phone call I got late Friday afternoon concerning the x-ray results was that he had bilateral something or other. I felt like it was just some leftovers from Covid. Today, the doc said the x-ray looks exactly the same as it did when he came home from the hospital with Covid, but she did the antibiotics because he had a fever. She left me scratching my head. I have tons of questions, which in itself is not unusual - since I am the "Question Queen." Lol.
Is he sick or not? Why would you prescribe antibiotics unless you knew he had an infection of some sort? Why are his lungs not clearing out? Frustration began to rise as I tried to figure out what to do and how to respond. As caregivers, we can find ourselves in these confusing situations a lot, and it requires us to be at the top of our game all the time!
Sometimes, I find myself confused when I read the Bible too. Jesus said that He left His peace here - why don't I feel it? He said He would never leave us alone - so why do I feel so alone most of the time? Jesus told Peter that he was to be sifted. Peter's faith was to be tried. Then Jesus told him that He prayed for him so his faith wouldn't fail. Why didn't Jesus pray Peter wouldn't have to go through that storm? Why didn't God deliver the 3 Hebrew children before they had to go through the fire? Why did Daniel sit all night long in a den with the lions? Couldn't God have rescued him earlier? Angels brought Peter out of prison twice in the book of Acts. Paul and Silas were rescued from the jail cell too. Did they have peace? Why didn't they get to avoid the hard stuff?
It can be a bit confusing when we see God act one way in a situation but do something else in another. For instance, Jesus healed blind people in the Gospels. But one time, He spits in the dirt and made mud that he applied to the blind guy's eyes. But He didn't do it the same way every time - He only did it that way one time. Why? Maybe it's so we wouldn't think faith has a formula. Maybe it's so we will have to just trust Him for the outcome while walking through the circumstances. There isn't a "caregiver's prayer" in the Bible. And there's no magic switch to make everything all hunky-dory again. When circumstances are confusing - it's simply a call to trust Him more.
Today, I will commit to trusting God for those confusing things on this journey. Instead of letting my head run off with tons of questions, I will focus on God. Every time I get confused, I'll thank God for something different that He's provided for this journey through time. Maybe I'll start with peace. Then, I will move on to grace... and mercy... His presence. I will choose to trust Him for one more day - will you join me?
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