Reloading

 This morning, when I turned my computer on, that little wheel went round and round. It always takes a little bit for my laptop to reboot, reset, and get ready to go for the morning. I stared at that little wheel that was spinning round and round. I thought it was a great representation of how my brain was acting this morning. Lol. Do you ever feel that way? 

My brain is trying to reload to take on another day, but the thoughts are just spinning round and round. It doesn't seem like anything is getting done at all. It's one of those days where I'd like to just sit and stare at the wall and drink coffee. But as caregivers, we all know that's not got a chance of happening. :-)

So, I pick up my Bible hoping to find something to help me reload for the day ahead, and again there's nothing. I'm pretty sure it's a sign of burnout. But who has time for burnout? There's too much to do, and this brain and heart of mine have to get reloaded, so I can get the tasks on my list done today. There's not really another option. 

It's so easy to feel like my boat is in the middle of a troubled sea, and water keeps splashing in with the wind and the waves. Is it just a matter of time until the boat fills up and begins to sink? Alone, in an unending sea of caregiving tasks, responsibilities, and cares, wondering what the day will bring. Will I sink, or will I swim? I try to imagine that God's huge hand swoops in and picks me up, and whisks my soul away to safety. But I don't really have that promise. 

What I do have, though, is the promise that He is with me. Isaiah 43:1-2 doesn't promise smooth sailing. What it does promise is that when - not if - we go through the rough waters and the fires of life, God is with us. It also reminds us that the fire won't consume us, and the flood won't overtake us. But it is certainly not a pleasant feeling, is it?

As I meditate on this passage on Isaiah, I like to think of it as reloading my soul to trust God for another day. I remind myself that He's been with me and seen me through every fire and flood my soul has faced so far, and today is not the day He will choose to change. Slowly, I reload my brain with scriptures that bring comfort. Maybe I'll even take time to read them to myself out loud this morning. 

Today, I find His presence comforting to my soul. I will pull out my favorite scriptures and reload my brain with them to encourage myself to continue trusting Him even in the storm(s). I'll remind myself that He's not going to pick today to leave His promises undone. He's promised peace in the storms, His presence in the darkest passageways of life, and His peace for my reloading brain this morning. I'll reload my brain with the truth that He is here, so I can trust Him for one more long day. Will you join me?

                                                                                                                                           

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