You Are Valued

As caregivers, there can be a lot of things we struggle with, things that are often difficult to talk about. It can be hard to know where to put our emotions. We oftentimes feel like we cannot share what's really going on in our heads because our thoughts are so well, all over the place. (Maybe that's just me!)

Lately, I've settled a few issues with my own heart and begun to sing again. That's huge. You know how I love the caregiver's cave. We can all get comfortable there, can't we? There are two things that pulled me out of the musicless part of the cave. One, I found my grandmother's handwritten music scores from the '40s in some of my aunt's things. Secondly, we had to move her piano to our house. It's in the living room... in my face all day long begging to be played. When everyone is gone but Chris and me - I play my heart out and lift up my voice to Him once again. It's been refreshing. I like it now because it's personal, just between me and Him - no one needs to hear. Freeing, really. I can sing any song I want without a list and I can sing every song as long as I want. No one to complain. You sang that last Sunday.  No one to say, don't sing so many new songs.  Or the flip side of that - why don't you sing songs you wrote. lol

Over the weekend though, my thoughts went exploring. You see, I got value from being on a praise team and for being a lead worshipper. I had value in the church for teaching Sunday School classes, doing children's ministry and being a youth pastor. I was a busy ant BC. (Before Caregiving.) And when all that was lost, I started to feel like I didn't have value in the body. Nothing could be further from the truth.

As caregivers, we often feel un-valued. No one seems to care about us and we are left alone to struggle through the day-to-days. For many of us, our time, efforts, energy, and life are consumed with taking care of someone who cannot care for themselves. Love keeps us by their side just like it kept Jesus on the cross.  Yet we (maybe I should just say "I") can feel like we are not playing a role in the "church" of today. How can we have value in His sight by doing what we do? I'm so glad you asked - because He values the caregiver. How do I know? Well, I did a little studying early this morning and came up with a couple of verses.

In Matthew 23:11, Jesus says But the greatest among you shall be your servant. Too often, this is interpreted as working in the "church." But since the church as we know it hadn't even been born yet, that couldn't be all He meant.

I also returned to the story of the sheep and the goats in Matthew 25. It's a great chapter and I read it often. Jesus is explaining what He expects of "sheep." Verse 40 says to the extent you did it to the least of these brothers of Mine, even to the least of them, you did it to Me. That's pretty insightful because we take care of the "least among us." The ones who are ignored when they go in public because people are not sure how to interact with them. The ones who fall through the cracks in the medical system because they aren't "worth saving." The ones who can't walk, talk, or play a direct role in society although they shape it indirectly, don't they?

He gives us value. We are still worth dying for. He still loves the caregiver. So, today, I'm going to turn my thoughts to how He loves us just like we love those we care for. I'll meditate on how He laid down His life for me - and how I lay mine down to be a caregiver. My thoughts will be on His great love for us. We are not excluded - we are included and precious in the Kingdom of God - we look a lot like Him, if you ask me! And with those thoughts, I'll rest in Him. I'll trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Holistic Healing: The Benefits of Yoga and Meditation for Seniors and Caregivers

Medical science has embraced yoga and meditation for the benefits they confer on seniors and their caregivers. Doctors in increasing numbers are recommending yoga to their patients over 50 to help reduce blood pressure, relieve pain, and improve balance. Seniors who are initially skeptical often find the benefits of yoga and meditation can help them in ways they never imagined. Older adults frequently find yoga improves muscle and joint flexibility, enhances their mood, and alleviates stress and anxiety. And while elderly bodies aren’t always up to the physical discipline of yoga, its tremendous mental and emotional value can still be derived from classes adapted to the physical restrictions that often limit a senior’s movements.

Consult your physician

Always use common sense if you’re a senior getting started with yoga. Consult your physician if you’re a cardiac patient, have undergone surgery, or are taking medications. If you have osteoporosis, be aware there are certain yoga movements you shouldn’t attempt in order to avoid fracture.

Broad appeal

Older adults are sometimes put off by images of young, lithe people bending their bodies into pretzel-like shapes. But yoga is gaining broad appeal as more elderly people find that it isn’t just for the young and flexible. Yoga, even a few minutes a day, not only improves physical flexibility, it enhances cognitive functioning, bolsters cardiovascular health, and can even slow the progression of Alzheimer’s disease. Seniors with a limited range of movement have been known to make remarkable improvements and gain an amazing degree of flexibility.

Find a yoga that suits you

There’s no one uniform version of yoga, but different kinds from “hot” to “gentle.” If your doctor has prescribed yoga, it’s important to begin by speaking with an instructor to determine what level of intensity is suitable based on your overall condition and physical fitness. Bear in mind that “chair” yoga and other low-impact versions are very popular with seniors and offer the same benefits as “traditional” forms.

Meditation

The benefits of meditation mirror those of yoga, which is, to a large extent, a mental discipline as well as a series of physical poses. It’s especially valuable for caregivers because meditation offers invaluable mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual benefits that can alleviate the stress under which caregivers labor. Find a space that relaxes you and offers solitude—a haven where you can focus your thoughts, free of distractions. It should be a meditation room where light can be kept to a minimum and where you’re able to fully relax. Light scented candles and play soothing music to maximize the effect. 

More than a workout

Yoga is much more than a physical activity: It’s a holistic form of mind-body medicine that improves mood and overall health—a combination of poses, meditation, and deep breathing that combine to integrate the mind, body, and spirit. And that’s the essence of yoga. Its ability to fuse one’s being lies at the heart of its ability to heal and enhance your sense of well-being. Yoga isn’t a workout activity like weightlifting or a cardio exercise where you push yourself past discomfort to achieve more and more. Yoga should never hurt; if it does, tell your instructor.

Yoga and meditation are tremendously effective healing disciplines that offer seniors and caregivers a great many physical and mental benefits. Medical science has increasingly turned to these disciplines to help older adults and their caregivers achieve a level of health they couldn’t attain otherwise and for good reason.

Courtesy of Pixabay

Broken but Accepted

Sorry for the long absence. I'm really still in the process of getting myself back together. Honestly, I've been on overload and as the end of the year draws close, there are some things I want to accomplish. I also want to set some goals for next year and that partially includes being more faithful to keep up this blog. In the back of my mind, I know you understand. You're caregivers - I know you "get it."

I know you understand the tired that is beyond exhaustion that transcends body and soul. You understand ongoing grief the rest of the world often condemns us for - telling us to just get over it. You know what I really mean by having a too full plate because you are probably juggling just like me. Maybe even more than me!

Emotionally I've been spent. I don't do well with changes and in the last few months we moved (which was a good thing) and that changed literally everything in my life and routines. Please forgive me for going MIA during the adjustment time. I think I'm back.

How did I get "back"? It's been a journey with much of it coming back together in the last week or so. I sat at the piano a couple weeks back and decided to sing. I didn't feel like singing. I felt abandoned. Alone. Worthless. Life-less. Broken. Maybe broken is the best word for it, but everything felt broken.

I pulled out my music books and dusted them off and started playing through some of the older stuff I used to play BC. In the middle of "I Need You More" I found a phrase. More than the song I sing.....I sang that phrase and let it hang there for a minute. At this point in my life, it was truer than any other time I'd ever sung it. Then I realized it had never been the song He was after. He really did want more than the song itself. He wanted me. Even in my most broken state - He didn't change His mind.

Before I knew it, I'd written a new chorus. I'll spare you the agony of hearing me sing it - but here are the lyrics.

It wasn't the song You were after

It was the pieces of my heart

Whether in tears or in laughter

You still want every single part...of me..

The broken...

The whole...

The parts I can't let go...

You still want me.

As I realized He still wanted me in my broken state - it brought a new kind of brokenness before Him. He accepts us just like we are - no matter how many pieces life has shattered us into. No matter how good of a Christian we think we are or are not - He still desires us and accepts us.

Today, I will meditate on how He hasn't cast me aside even though it feels like it sometimes. I'll turn my thoughts to His acceptance of me just like I am; broken. I'll try to keep my anxious thoughts at bay as I stay close to His heart and let Him carry me through one more day. Will you join me?

Hard to Breathe

Some days it's all a caregiver can do to just keep breathing. I tease a lot about trying to remember to breathe and keeping that a top priority. But sometimes it really does feel like the life is being sucked out of you. Of course, there are many blessings that go with caregiving, but some days they are harder to find than others. No matter what our caregiving story - it's filled with difficulties. I try to keep a positive attitude but that's a fight at times.

This morning, in an attempt to protect my sanity I decided to start trying to journal again. I am glad I did as I hadn't made an entry since June. (I used to write in my journal everyday BC.) I found this poem I had penned. I hope you get a little something out of it.

Who am I to catch the King's gaze?
To know...
    He sees
   He Knows
   He hears
The deepest sighs from the place where no words live
The part of me that carries it all... with nothing left to give.

The part of me where no human wants to go
The Place that makes me - me
The part of me that no one sees
   No one knows
   Where no one goes

And He touches it
He makes me whole
A place where He is enough
His is the only voice I hear calling in my ear
"Peace be still."

   He sees
   He knows
   He hears
   He touches me
That part of me no soul wants to see
The place too deep for tears...
         but He catches them all...
                  before they fall

The part of me that knows - He is enough for me

His sight goes beyond the facade I live behind
 He sees
   my fears
   my heart
And He says...I am enough for Him - and He is enough for me

I can rest in this intimate place
Covered by His grace
Lifted by His gaze
Engulfed in His embrace

To others I am shut-in and shut out
But I landed in His arms
and that's enough for me.



Thank you for coming on this journey with me as I discover He is enough for me - and I am enough for Him. I continue to trust Him for one more day and pray you'll join me.


If He leads: paypal.me/dovesfireministries

The Purpose of the Press

Caregivers are not the only ones in the press of life. I've been watching the horrific stories emerging out of the raging fires in California. My prayers have been many for those who are suffering during this time. Suffering has a unique impact on us, no matter what the source. It lets us know what's really inside.

In James chapter 1, it says to count it all joy when you encounter trials and tribulations. JOY? To be totally honest, joy isn't the first emotion I usually feel when things get tough. Joy may eventually come - but certainly not at the onset of trials and tribulations.

As a caregiver, we live in a rough spot. Nothing is easy. Literally everything can feel like a struggle. Life has a way of pressing, pressing, and pressing in on us until it's a struggle some days to just breathe. But as life presses in on us - no matter what the struggle, it presses out what is really inside. When life turns up the heat, we find out how much we really trust Him, how much we really believe His word, and how strong our grasp is on His promise and His word.

I've said before that when my son was first injured, I learned so much about faith. It's been totally redefined for me - and it's nothing like I'd been taught or believed. Hindsight lets me know that this is just one of the things that are better in my life even though life didn't get "better."

The purpose of the press is to press out whatever is inside. As life presses in, we'll begin to see what we are really made of. Perhaps it's just because we don't have the energy to keep up a facade of faith. Maybe it's due to our spirit of survival that we cut off what isn't working and what's hanging us up. Getting rid of the "fluff and stuff" is the only way we can continue to do what we do - caregiving takes up a lot, we don't have time, room, or energy for unnecessary extras.

Today, I'm going to rest in the press of life. I want to know how much I trust Him. I want to know if I really hear Him - and if I'll obey when it gets hard. My thoughts will be on how He has carried me these last 10 years. And today, I'm going to continue to follow His lead and let Him carry me into the next 10 years - whatever they look like. I'll let the press get rid of the gook, stuff, and fluff so I can see Him more clearly and trust Him more fully. Will you join me?

Broken Pieces Tell A Beautiful Story

This weekend I used some respite days for Chris and got out for the weekend. We took my grandson to Fort Worth for his birthday. While we were in Cowtown Saturday afternoon, we stopped by one of our favorite little shops. It has a variety of teas and teapots. We were standing around admiring the beautiful shapes, colors, and designs when my grandson tried to remove the lid from this little green leafy pot. The lid fell to the floor and shattered into several pieces. It was a sickening sound and of course, my daughter immediately told the store manager that she would purchase it.

Even though we liked it, we didn't plan on buying it. Once we got it home, Ronella glued the lid together and sat it on the shelf with some of our decorative teapots. When I saw the repaired container, I thought you can't even tell it's broken from here. I let my imagination run away a bit as I thought of this pot's story.

It sat in the store - beautiful, but unpurchased. Even though many people are in and out of the store daily, it was not chosen. By chance, the lid slipped out of a child's hand and then it was on its way to Oklahoma City to its new home. now it has a story, one that almost didn't get told. But the beauty and the story came from its brokenness.

As a caregiver, I often feel broken. My life is lived in a state of brokenness and I feel so undone. We caregivers are not the norm. Nothing is normal when we compare our lives to those of others (which isn't wise by the way). But I look at where the brokenness has taken me. It's changed me - for the better I hope. Over the last 10 years my faith has been totally redefined, although my passion to serve Him remains the same. I've learned He is near the brokenhearted. We "chose" this teapot because it was broken, He chooses us in our brokenness. He pulls us closer because of it - never distancing Himself from the broken areas of our lives. We each have a story that stems from that brokenness - and it's a story of grace, favor, mercy, and love.

Today, I will consider how He draws me close because of the brokenness. I won't try to hide the broken pieces from His sight - He sees them anyway. My prayer today is that the broken pieces of my life will tell the story of His grace. I'll turn my thoughts to how He carries me and holds me close to hide me in His heart. I'll rest right there as I trust Him for one more day.

A Little Behind

Please forgive my absence. If anyone understands, I know it's my fellow caregivers. I know you understand the more than busy mode we live in. Each day brings with it a long must-do list and an even longer still-need-to-do-when-there-is-time list. In the busy-ness of caregiving and fulfilling all our responsibilities we often feel overwhelmed. It's not always anything anyone can help with, and sometimes we can't even list it... it just hangs there overshadowing our days. The feelings of never getting done and simply surviving leave us looking for a satisfaction that may or may not ever be found.

Somehow in the midst of the hectic life we learn to call normal, we learn what can be let go and what cannot. It's easy to feel like our time is stolen from us as we get wrapped up in our daily tasks Maybe it's just me, but no matter how much I do get done, I still feel behind. Attempts to sort through and find the important things to get done leave you with a list of just-as-important things that didn't get accomplished. Overwhelmed.

Most nights as I tuck myself in, I feel like I failed. The list of things I didn't get done run through my mind until I simply shut it off and stop listening. There's always tomorrow. That's what I think - but I know from experience - that's not always true.

So as I run behind and try to get done the things topping my list, I stop. Seems like the opposite of what needs to be done. But I stop. I think. I become thankful as I look around at the last few months and realize all that has been accomplished. God is still working on my behalf. He hasn't left me to drown in my lists. We haven't missed a meal and there's a roof over our heads. The world doesn't come to a screeching halt if something is left unmarked on the list at the end of the day. We can just do what we can do.. and no more. There's no condemnation for being overwhelmed. Absolutely no condemnation in Him.

So if you feel like you never quite measure up (it may just be me....),  don't worry. He's the One measuring - and He has no condemnation. Just a warm, welcoming hug when we take time to visit with Him.

Today, I will stop my busy mind for a few minutes and be thankful. I'll thank Him for not giving up on me even when I feel like a total loss. I'll thank Him that He pulls me close when it feels the world is distant. I'll thank Him for hearing the faintest and loudest cries of my heart without condemning me - without judging me - without telling me I can do better. He just loves. He just cares. He just holds us - and in that, I will rest. And I'll trust Him for one more day - will you join me?