Two Kinds of Broken

I heard a chorus last week that had this phrase in it: brokenness that separates. It really made me think of a lot of different aspects of brokenness and I came to the conclusion that there are two kinds of brokenness, and I am acquainted with both of them. There is a brokenness that God is near - the kind that says, Lord, I am broken before You and I need you. But there is a time when we are broken and in our self-preservation we draw away from Him.

It is not a bad thing to be broken before Him in humility. This is the type of brokenness that He is near, this is when we can come to Him bleeding and needing help. But the other brokenness is sustained by our departure from His presence. This separation comes as we try to hold on to the hurts in our lives and not release them to Him and allow Him to mend.

I have experienced this kind of broken - the kind that makes you mad and so you withdraw from Him in anger. I did not understand why these things had to happen (my son's automobile accident) - I had trusted God with my children and it seemed He had violated my trust. There were many days that I was simply angry with Him in my brokenness.

But there came a point when I knew I could not continue without His touch. This is where brokenness took on a different role in my life. My broken heart needed His oil to mend and I presented myself before Him once again...in humility and asked Him for help to carry the load that life had placed on my back. This humble brokenness is the one He is near...Psalms 34:18 says that the Lord is near the brokenhearted. We must acknowledge this closeness and not turn away from His touch - no matter how much life hurts.

Today I will make it my goal to keep myself before Him in humility. I will ask Him to bring healing to all the broken places in my life...will you join me?

Good Morning!

Jeremiah is sometimes called the weeping prophet. To many he seems to be a very big whiner. But he carried such a passionate burden for the people of God that he wept much of the time. If you briefly turn through the pages of Jeremiah you will find some very harsh things God had to say to his people. And besides obeying God and having to speak to His people in such a manner, he was imprisoned and persecuted.

Lamentations gives us a closer look into the tender heart of this prophet. (Yes, a prophet does have a tender side!) He wept over the disobedience of his own people and he did not understand why they didn't just obey God. I am sure when he was mercilessly thrown into the mucky pit he wondered if his life was over. He was left to sink in the muddy mess and basically left for dead. Do you think he ever questioned God's call on his life? As a caregiver and the huge life changes that role brought I have found myself questioning God about many things.

But in Lamentations 3:19-24 Jeremiah turns his thoughts to the Lord once again. In verse 19 he says that he remembers his afflictions. He did not ignore them. As caregivers there is absolutely nothing about our situations that can be ignored! Jeremiah speaks of all the emotions he has had - bitterness, wandering, and afflictions. In the next verse he says his soul is bowed down. Have you ever felt that way under the load? I am sure we all have from time to time.

Jeremiah then goes on to encourage himself in the Lord. He reminds himself of why he still has hope. God's unfailing lovingkindnesses and His compassion are enough strength to make another day on. He says that they are new every morning... sufficient to carry me through each day I must face. And then he speaks of God's faithfulness...through the storm, through the furnace, throughout this life - He remains faithful!

Therefore  - we have hope in Him!

Perfect Peace

Sometimes we look at the Old Testament prophets and think that their message was all gloom and doom with a few prophecies about the coming of Christ or the end times mixed in. But in reality, they were just people like us with a message from God. Not only did they go through many of the same things we do but they were moved with much compassion for the people of God.

Ezekiel's wife died and Elisha died of an illness. They dealt with life just like we do. Right in the midst of their words of reproof and judgment we can find many shades of grace. When we see all that they were dealing with at the time and then read a passage like Isaiah 25 and 26 it can bring much comfort to us.

We perceive prophets as very hard nosed, hard headed people. (And usually they are!) But Isaiah also understood the protection of the Lord and how to trust Him in adversity. In Isaiah 25:4 the prophet describes the Lord as a refuge from the storm and a  shade from the heat. Then in chapter 26 he continues with how the Lord will keep those whose minds are stayed on Him in perfect peace. What a thought! And here's the prophet's explanation of how that works.

He first says that we are steadfast if we keep our mind on Him. Then he says "because he trusts in you."  This would indicate to me that when we keep our minds on God it is showing how we trust Him. If we keep our mind on the storm, trial or adversity - we are putting our trust in the situation.

Today - I am aiming for perfect peace. I will keep my mind on the Lord and let Him fill me with His perfect (mature) peace.

Yet One Thing ...

It is very likely that there have been many losses for the caregiver. And these losses can cross many levels. For instance, we lost the person as we knew them and we lost our own freedom and lives.These losses can go to a deeper level when we look at how our emotions have been ransacked by the trauma, and how our lives have been turned upside down in the process. Now in reality most of us do not count the loss, we are motivated by the love we have for our loved ones and these are not things that we sit around and calculate. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other doing all the tasks that need to be done to make sure they are cared for properly.

In a life where many things can change with just one phone call, or one slight miscalculation, it is comforting to know that some things simply will not  change. Of course we know that God's love for us will never change. But 1 Peter 1:4 says that our inheritance is imperishable, undefiled and will not fade away... No matter what we go through on this brief walk through time the things God has ordained for us are well preserved! They will not fade or weaken. Our relationship in Him and with Him is secure. Our inheritance is sitting in a place where there is no corrosion or decay...

Today, this will be my meditation - I'll think about how we are hidden and preserved in Him. I'll meditate on all He has in store for us who love and serve Him how these eternal promises cannot be tampered with by time or life. 

Who's Expecting?

There are a lot of scriptures about waiting on God. David used the phrase many times throughout the Psalms. A good book on waiting is Andrew Murray's Waiting on God. It's a 30 day devotional which uses a different scripture that pertains to waiting on Him for each day's devotion. It seems to me that for the caregiver there is a lot of that. For that matter, throughout our life time we will find ourselves in a situation where all we can do is wait on Him..

Psalm 37:7 says to wait patiently on Him. In all honesty, I must say that my waiting many times is far from patient. It's more whining, angry and frustrated waiting that eventually yields to a quiet and patient waiting!

But Micah 7:7 talks about waiting expectantly on the Lord. My first question of course would be expecting what? When my son was first injured I was waiting for the Lord to come in on a white horse and rescue us from the situation. Of course, that never happened...What are we waiting on then, if it's not to be rescued from the trial?

We wait on Him for hope itself many times. The next verse here in Micah talks about how we may dwell in darkness, but the Lord is a light for me! We wait for Him to shine His revealing light on our situation, for Him to pour His wisdom in to know how to deal with every situation that comes up every day. We wait for Him before we act out with the medical profession that seems to have forgotten us or is ignoring us! We wait for His peace throughout each trial that presents itself to us as caregivers each and every day.

Today, let us think about waiting on Him for our sustenance, our peace, wisdom to handle situations and our provision. He is more than able to handle our situation - and He is more than able to handle us in the midst of the situation! Trust Him for one more day!

After the Rainbow

In my reading this morning I came across this passage in Psalm 105. It's speaking of Joseph and how God sent him before to prepare the way for his family. I'm not sure that being sold into slavery by his own brothers is the way Joseph would have chosen to see God fulfill His word in his life - but that's the way it occurred. Verse 19 says that the word of the Lord tested Joseph. He knew God's promises but found himself sitting it out in a jail cell for a crime he did not even commit. How difficult it can be to be sitting on the promises!

As caregivers living in the furnace sometimes it can seem like all the promises of God have faded away. When  Noah came through the most horrific experience of his life (the flood), God made him a promise and sealed it with a rainbow. How easy it must have been in that moment standing at the altar of sacrifice and seeing the first rainbow - to believe God's promise. But one day - it rained again. It's easy to believe His promise while staring at the rainbow - but did he wonder the next time a drop of rain fell from the skies?

Can we believe His promises while walking in the furnace; long after the rainbow of promise has faded? Holding on to the things we feel He promised us can be very difficult when in the furnace. And so we wait....once again. There was no way Joseph could make God's promise happen in his life; no way for Noah to erase the memories of the flood. Did these two men ever wonder ( which is not a lack of faith) about God's promises? Did Noah watch the rain and consider moving back into the boat? Did Joseph sit for those long hours in a jail cell contemplating his dreams?

How do you spend your wait? Honestly, I have spent too much time in a rush of emotions with my fist raised at God (not like it is profitable in any way...), I've been angry, upset, confused...but it all comes back to believing Him when the rainbow has faded.

God is faithful. His word is sure even when the picture doesn't look like we thought it would. We do not know how Joseph sat out his wait; we are unaware if he ever asked any questions, or if he ever wavered at all. It certainly was not the way he would have planned for God to fulfill His word in his life. God's words are never inert - He will do all He said (and usually more) - can we trust Him here in the fire? Can we trust His promise after the rainbow has faded?

Waiting on His promise is not an easy task - questions gnaw away at our faith. Pictures of how we thought things were supposed to be whittle away at our hearts. But we must wait. We must trust His promise when the rainbow is gone - even if it starts raining again! Renew your trust in Him today - Tell Him how you feel - He can handle it. Then remind yourself of His promises and just rest in Him and let Him worry about how He is going to fulfill it in your life.

Keeping Faith

Think about all the things you have done before you found the time to read this short devotion. Personally, I have been up every two hours through the night to turn, change and check on my loved one. Then when I scraped myself off the sheets to get up a little bit ago I had to check his temperature, O2 levels and do a tube feeding. And now I am at the computer writing a devotion! And the day has barely started...do you relate?

Our daily lives are full of taking care of our loved ones, making plans and appointments for them, fighting with doctor's offices and waiting to see if aides will show up today or not! It can be crazy and it can all chip away at our emotions and our faith. Sometimes we can sort of numb up and suck it all up to make it through a day. And you know what - it's okay! Each of us has our own unique situation to deal with and we have to do it the best way we can...putting one foot in front of the other and moving ourselves forward through the next 24 hours.

Sometimes we tend to try to ignore our situation and keep walking. That's really not the way to deal with it...Look at this scripture about Abraham. Hebrews 4:19 says that Abraham without becoming weak in faith contemplated his own body. When I saw that this morning it really hit me - in a good way. Faith-ers teach that we ignore the situations we are in, our bodies, our pain, our circumstances - and that then we can walk it out in faith. But Abraham - our faith hero - looked the situation right in the face and continued in faith.

He knew his body and Sarah's body were too old to be able to fulfill God's promise - he even thought about it. But he remained in faith. As we walk through the caregiver's chores today just deal with today...keep putting one foot in front of the other. And continue in faith knowing that God is walking through this furnace with us. He did not send us into the trial alone - keep the faith - it will keep you!

It's Okay...Really

  This morning, I'm just running behind. Ever have one of those days? Lol. Who am I kidding? Most of the time, it seems like every day i...