The old song, The Anchor Holds, is playing over and over in my mind this morning. Today is the 15th anniversary of my son's accident. I would be lying if I told you it hasn't been the most difficult season of my life. I'm pretty sure anyone who's faced the challenges of caregiving would agree, at least on some level!
Life's trials help reveal what we are made of. Sometimes, they serve to show us where we are weakest or the most vulnerable. While it feels horrible, it's really a good thing. Over the last decade and a half, I've learned how to trust God more deeply. One of the first things I learned, even while we were in the hospital for 107 days, was how to redefine faith. That's been a journey in itself. I learned that faith doesn't prevent bad stuff from happening (ask Moses, Abraham, David, Paul, and Jesus), but it carries us through the trials and struggles.
Scripture tells us to give thanks in all things, and I have become able to thank Him for some things over these years. No, I am not thankful that my son had a wreck. I am not thankful that he is gone, but I am left caring for his body. But I am thankful that I've learned so much about God's grace. I am thankful that I have discovered a new depth in my walk with the Lord. I'm thankful that He's walked through all this with me. It's a great time to reflect on the good that has happened over this caregiving journey.
God has been able to unpackage me as a writer. I've self-published over a dozen books, and I'm working on 3-4 more. 5 of those books are currently being translated into Urdu to be distributed to Pakistani Christians. We are here on this blog, right? It's not huge, but most months, I have between 3000 and 5000 readers on average. I like to think that I'm reaching people like me who thought faith prevented bad things - until they found themselves staring down something that could only be walked through by faith. I hope I'm reaching other caregivers with the message that God's still got them - still carrying them as needed - and still walking with them no matter how dark or rocky the road becomes. I hope I am encouraging people like me who were abandoned by friends, family, and the church because we didn't fit the mold - only to find ourselves wrapped up in God's arms of grace. I wouldn't have chosen this path - but it's a good place to be.
Today, I will rest in the truth that God's got me, and His anchor of hope still holds - though the ship is battered. My thoughts will be on how His grace carries me and is always enough for whatever a day brings my way. I'll meditate on His keeping power, and I'll rejoice just a little because He is still keeping my soul in the middle of life's most difficult struggle. I believe I can trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?
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Are you looking for a new devotional? I have written several devotionals, and I'm currently working on some new ones that should become available soon. As a caregiver, I found a lot of comfort and direction from Psalm 31. So, I wrote a devotional, 31 Days in Psalm 31 - what it's like to spend 31 days in a cave with God. It's available on my bookstore and on Amazon on Kindle or for print-on-demand.