Giving and Receiving

I've heard my self quoting the first part of John 14:27 a lot lately. So this morning I decided to look it up. Jesus tells His disciples Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you not as the world gives - do I give to you. But as I read it again this morning, I realized I've been leaving off the last part. It says Let not your heart be troubled - neither let it be afraid. (NASB)

That's important, of course, because Jesus said it, but so that we can keep the peace He gives to us. If you think about the act of giving - it requires the act of receiving. Have you ever given someone something and they give it back? To them, it was interpreted as worthless. It feels horrible when someone does that, doesn't it?

Jesus wants us to receive His peace - we gotta take it - and embrace it. As caregivers, our days can be anything but peaceful sometimes. We hit the floor running most days. Some nights we run all night too - when our loved one doesn't sleep well or is sick. But then we still have to do all the "normal" stuff that makes up our day. There's no exemption card for hard days! We cannot call in sick, either. We have to press through the best we can.

But we do not have to be troubled. We do not have to be afraid. We can choose to embrace His peace. I'll be the first to tell you that some days that's a LOT easier said than done. But it is a matter of choice and a lot of persistence too.

Today, I am going to receive His gift of peace. I don't have to understand it - I just need to embrace it and then LET it rule in my heart instead of uncertainty. My meditation will be on His peace and not life's disruptions. I'll rest in Him today - just today since that's all He told us to handle at a time. My thoughts will remain on the peace He gives me. Will you join me?

Insert Peace

As the pandemic begins to wind down, questions abound. As caregivers we are charged with the care of the nation's most vulnerable population. Our household has stayed in for 5 or 6 or how ever many weeks now to protect my son and grandson.

Over the next couple of weeks, some businesses will slowly start to open. I'm not sure it looks much different for me. I'm anxious to get Chris out into nature again! But caution wins out ever time I consider it. I don't think it's fear - but who knows what any emotion is at this point? Some of us have numbed out, and some of us nearly stroked out. lol. One thing that brings me comfort is the history of the Spanish flu. It did come to an end. Sadly, it was after many losses.

Not knowing what the days ahead hold can leave us with feelings of uncertainty. Maybe there are some feelings of security and safety from staying in our homes. I'm anxious to see my mom and aunt again, though. I am thankful I have my son at home - I'd be a basket case if he was in a facility. I'd probably go apply to be an aid - for real!

There seem to be so many things to be anxious for as each day unfolds. In Psalm 139:23, David asks God to know my anxious thoughts. On one hand, I'm like, Lord, You might not want to do that - it's a bit scary in there. But on the other hand, I'm all in - asking God to dig through all the crazy places in my mind - and then insert peace.

Isn't it cool that David penned this psalm all those years ago and we have it now to hold on to during this pandemic - storm? David was in earnest prayer without realizing what he was writing would someday be printed (unimaginable) and read by generations to come. I'm thankful for his openness and honesty, aren't you?

Today, my prayer is for God to search all my anxious thoughts and replace them with peace. His peace is lasting. Jesus said His peace wasn't like what the world could give. (John 14:27) My thoughts will pursue His peace today and I'll turn my meditations to embracing it and letting it rule in my heart and mind. Will you join me on that?

No Filter

I stayed in Psalm 139 for my devotions this morning, mostly because I love that chapter. It is so rich. My focus was on verses 7-12. The psalmist is talking about being in God's presence no matter where he goes or might try to hide. No matter where - God could still be found. And God could still see him.

The first thing that stood out to me was in verse 8 where David says if I make my bed in hell - You are there. Of course, my first question is why would you want to do that?  Lol. But once I thought about it a bit longer, I realized if I make a bad choice - God doesn't throw me away. He doesn't have a big buzzer He pushes as He screams, "Wrong answer!" Even when I do dumb stuff - and I do it a lot - He doesn't abandon. He doesn't get exasperated with me or my choices. He continues to walk with me trying to guide me.

The second thing that stood out in my mind today was verse 12 where the psalmist says darkness and light are the same to You. After reading this and the previous verses, it came to me that God sees all the time, and darkness can't hide from Him. Darkness also doesn't have the ability to conceal other things from Him - He can see through it.

We can't really hide from God behind anything - not even caregiving. He sees past our situations and circumstances and peers right into our hearts. Sometimes, people can't see past the caregiving. They forget there's a whole person inside. But God doesn't see us under the shadow of caregiving. He sees us for who we really are. For all we really are.

He sees and understands when we are overwhelmed by grief or confused about what to do. He sees when we are exhausted but still lifting our tired hands and heart up to Him. He even understands why and how our emotions can max out and hit bottom and bounce back in a matter of a couple of minutes. Or seconds. Or milliseconds. He gets us and His view of our hearts is not shrouded by caregiving or life.

Today, I will rejoice that He can see my heart that He understands me and walks with me through the day-to-day stuff. My meditation will be on how He chooses to be close to us (to me). He doesn't shun me because He doesn't know what to do with me. Instead, He moves in a bit closer so He can watch over my heart and keep my soul.

Hide 'n Seek

This morning during my Bible study time, I found myself in Jeremiah. I love this OT prophet! Many look at the book as gloom and doom - but I see God's persistent heart throughout the prophet's writings. He is always reaching out to us whether we are reaching out to Him or not.

I landed in chapter 29 in a familiar passage to most of us. It's always good to revisit familiar passages like this because our vision can change based on our circumstances. Yes, the word of God doesn't change - but our ability to see it differently does. Experiences make so many passages sweeter, doesn't it? One of my favorite worship leaders, Dennis Jernigan, says the drier the desert, the sweeter the rain. Many times His word is like the soothing rain on my dry aching heart. That's the way it was this morning.

Jeremiah 29:11-13 says this:

For I know the thoughts I think toward you, says the Lord

thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Then you will call on Me and go and pray to Me

and I will listen to you.

And you will seek me and find Me 

when you search for Me with all your heart.

God isn't playing hide 'n seek. Instead, He says when we seek for Him - He'll let us find Him! He doesn't hide from the ugliness of caregiving - instead, He sees the beauty in the fact that we lay down our lives and desires for another. To Him, it's a sweet-smelling incense. He meets us in those places we cannot talk about. He sees us feeding, dressing, transferring, and tending to them. His love reaches us in those quiet discreet moments that are not discussed openly. He sees our hearts - not just our deeds. He won't hide from us like the world tends to do - He jumps out and says "I'm am here!" He listens, He cares, He loves.

Today, I will turn my thoughts to how He is right there as soon as I turn my heart to find Him. He is ever present to strengthen, comfort me, and fill me with His peace. I will embrace His peace and His presence in my heart today as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

The Most Powerful Tool

As April continues to be unrolled before us it is uncertain what is ahead. For those of us who are either part of the vulnerable population or caring for someone who is among the most vulnerable - the days are more uncertain. On one hand, many caregivers are used to some level of social isolation. But what little liberty we have had has been taken away. It's easy, and natural to experience a sense of loss during this time.

This morning, as I was preparing for the two daily devotions I try to do, I found myself in Colossians 4 and verse 2. Paul encouraged the believers to devote themselves to prayer. He also told them to be alert and diligent about it. Well, it's likely that there is a lot more prayer going on in our world today than there was before Covid-19. But Paul gave another aspect of prayer I found beneficial.

The apostle Paul said to pray - with an attitude of thanksgiving. Now, giving thanks may not be at the forefront of our minds right now - especially while feeling such losses. But it is a powerful component. It's not a manipulative strategy to try and get the answer you want to your prayer. On the contrary, it changes your attitude. Being thankful is a powerful tool that can change our dreary thoughts into more pleasant ones.

I know we have a lot nagging at our hearts, minds, and emotions right now. But if we can purposefully find things to be thankful for we can make our day better. Are your lights on? Do you have tv? Do you have internet? Is there food in your house? I'd say start with these if you are looking for a way to be thankful today. Don't let the seriousness of our circumstances drag you down and out. Bring all your requests to God - but bring them with a thankful heart. It will change our perspective and attitude.

Today, I purpose to be thankful. I'll start with salvation and I'll include the truth that God is still on the throne and His kingdom is not shaken by the Coronavirus. Then, I'll thank Him that I have a roof over my head (today), I have internet so I can stay in touch with others. I'll be thankful for the food in my kitchen even if it's not what I want to eat. I'll let Him lift the weighty burden off my heart and mind by thanking Him today. Will you join me?

Only Today

David says in Psalm 37:8 - do not fret. He goes on to say it will lead to evil doing. He has just said to cease from anger and forsake wrath. When emotions run high, as they are doing for many right now both caregivers and non-caregivers, anger comes easily. Rightly so as our world has been turned upside down.

As a caregiver, I find I have a short fuse and I have to guard my heart diligently lest I blow up at little things. I understand that is part of the package, it's normal, right? Yes. But it doesn't have to be that way.

While we are all on shut-down mode and the governor of our state lengthened the time we must stay home since those we care for are vulnerable - it can make for a short fuse. But honestly, I'm not sure what I fear most - being confined to the house longer or being allowed to go out. Will I ever be able to go out with peace of mind again? And just like that - I'm fretting over things I cannot see - don't know - and have to have time to play out. :-)

David said not to fret. I'm finding it is easier said than done. There are so many uncertainties. But I take a deep breath and consider only today. We cannot live more than one day at a time and we don't have to face more than one day at a time. Mentally, I walk through this day and the tasks that lay before me. I think I've got this. I can do just this. Jesus reminded us of that.

In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus addresses anxiety. Wait. They didn't have the media to inundate them with negatives all day. They didn't have a Facebook feed to sow dissension and fear all day long. They didn't have the fake news. lol. Yet they were anxious about their days too. In verse 34, Jesus says, each day has enough trouble of its own. And to that, I say a hearty amen!

I encourage you to read this short passage in Matthew which is part of Jesus' Sermon on the Mount. His words are still applicable and powerful today. He uses some form of the word worry five times in this short passage, and mostly He's explaining why we don't need to.

Today, I will determine to not fret about the future. I will determine to set my heart and mind on spiritual things and acknowledge that He has got this. He has got me. He has got my loved ones. I'll shun worrying and fretting and embrace peace today. Will you join me?

Swallowed Up!

Caregiving isn't for the faint of heart. Who am I talking to? Of course, you know that! And as if caregiving wasn't enough on our plates, Covid19 has to raise its ugly head. For those of us with loved ones in facilities, it can be extremely difficult since there is no visitation allowed. On top of the normal day-to-day tasks and chores of caregiving comes more concern and trying to find ways to stay connected with our loved ones. At times, it can feel like the world has swallowed us whole.

David was in a fix when he penned Psalm 57. In verse three he says that God reproaches the one who would swallow me up. As I read that this morning, I realized that is part of how I feel. It's like I've been swallowed whole by the situation. It can be stifling at times. But as caregivers - we just keep pressing on. Because that's what we do.

There's a whole range of emotions caregivers already deal with, many on a daily basis. Fear. Dread. Grief and living grief. But now we have extra emotions warring at our soul. There may be sadness and feelings of loss over the lifestyle we did have. I think that's all a normal response and there's no shame in it. We don't have to hide how we feel. We can identify it and deal with it. And let God have it so He can carry us through this difficult time.

The next part of the verse is going to be my prayer today as I navigate through this new level of grief, sadness, and loss. David says that God will send forth His mercy and His truth. Boy, if the world doesn't need a lot of both of those today! I need a dose of those today too! How about you?

You see, as caregivers, we might have a slight advantage over others right now. We already know that God carries us when we just don't have the strength.  We have learned that He brings comfort on the hardest days and speaks peace during the longest nights. We know that He is the "enough" we need to make it one more day. Many of us have mastered running to Him with our cares, worries, and stressors. And we know what it's like to crawl up under the protection of His wings when there are no more words to say and no more tears to cry. He is our refuge, strength, and keeper of our souls.

Today, I will meditate on being under the shadow of His wings. I will purpose to trust Him - just for today with all the added baggage. My heart will pursue that secret place with Him where there is indescribable peace and comfort. I will stay still and hidden in Him for today as I trust Him to carry me just today. Will you join me?