Skip to main content

No Filter

I stayed in Psalm 139 for my devotions this morning, mostly because I love that chapter. It is so rich. My focus was on verses 7-12. The psalmist is talking about being in God's presence no matter where he goes or might try to hide. No matter where - God could still be found. And God could still see him.

The first thing that stood out to me was in verse 8 where David says if I make my bed in hell - You are there. Of course, my first question is why would you want to do that?  Lol. But once I thought about it a bit longer, I realized if I make a bad choice - God doesn't throw me away. He doesn't have a big buzzer He pushes as He screams, "Wrong answer!" Even when I do dumb stuff - and I do it a lot - He doesn't abandon. He doesn't get exasperated with me or my choices. He continues to walk with me trying to guide me.

The second thing that stood out in my mind today was verse 12 where the psalmist says darkness and light are the same to You. After reading this and the previous verses, it came to me that God sees all the time, and darkness can't hide from Him. Darkness also doesn't have the ability to conceal other things from Him - He can see through it.

We can't really hide from God behind anything - not even caregiving. He sees past our situations and circumstances and peers right into our hearts. Sometimes, people can't see past the caregiving. They forget there's a whole person inside. But God doesn't see us under the shadow of caregiving. He sees us for who we really are. For all we really are.

He sees and understands when we are overwhelmed by grief or confused about what to do. He sees when we are exhausted but still lifting our tired hands and heart up to Him. He even understands why and how our emotions can max out and hit bottom and bounce back in a matter of a couple of minutes. Or seconds. Or milliseconds. He gets us and His view of our hearts is not shrouded by caregiving or life.

Today, I will rejoice that He can see my heart that He understands me and walks with me through the day-to-day stuff. My meditation will be on how He chooses to be close to us (to me). He doesn't shun me because He doesn't know what to do with me. Instead, He moves in a bit closer so He can watch over my heart and keep my soul.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Living Grief

 As caregivers, many of us deal with daily grief and a constant sense of loss. Even though we don't feel these emotions all of the time, they do keep coming back. For me, mine is often sparked by seeing something on my Facebook feed. I'll see one of Chris' friends or a memory and it'll tip my emotional bucket right over. Living grief is one of those things the church doesn't know how to deal with. Well, honestly, who really knows how to deal with it? It's not just going to go away, now is it? :-) In some hyper-faith circles, grief is pretty much forbidden. Yet even under the old law, it was allowed room. If you lost a close loved one such as a spouse, parent, or sibling, you were given an entire year to mourn. Our culture allows a little time, but then we are expected to be back at work, back at church, or back to our daily lives after a very short time. We just keep putting one foot in front of the other. But living grief continues. When we deal with parents wh

The Best Meeting

  I know I've written quite a few times about Hagar, but her story intrigues me. I think I can relate to the rejection and loneliness she must have felt. In numerous devotions, I've talked about how God met her right where she was. She did have God "find" her twice. But there are other people in the scriptures that God met too. The list is a bit longer when we start thinking about how many times God met someone along the way. Twice He came and ministered to Hagar, He met Saul on the road to Damascus (Acts 9), He met Balaam and stopped him before he sinned against God (Numbers 22). Jesus went through Samaria on purpose  to speak with the woman at the well. He crossed two taboos in their time - going through Samaria and speaking to a woman! (John 4) He walked out to the disciples in a storm in Matthew 8. And the Angel of God came to Gideon when he was hiding from the Midianites in Judges 6. It's easy for today's religious thinkers to label these Bible characters

But I Have Today

Do you ever have days that are just heavier than others? Of course, you do - who am I talking to? Saturday was Chris' 37th birthday. For some reason, it was unusually hard as I thought of where all his friends are today. You know, married, having kids, and enjoying their careers. I cried more than once that day. I grieved over what should have been, what could have been.  I hugged him a little tighter and thought about the progress he's made recently. The other night, I am certain he "sang" to me after I got him in bed. It was the sweetest thing and I posted it in his Facebook group where I share things I don't feel I can share as "publicly." He's moving more and initiating more of his movement on his own. There are many things to rejoice about. At the same time, I am getting older. My joints hurt and I wonder how much longer I can take care of him. I fear the day that I won't be able to. This is the way the rest of my life looks, and I am okay w