David was in a fix when he penned Psalm 57. In verse three he says that God reproaches the one who would swallow me up. As I read that this morning, I realized that is part of how I feel. It's like I've been swallowed whole by the situation. It can be stifling at times. But as caregivers - we just keep pressing on. Because that's what we do.
There's a whole range of emotions caregivers already deal with, many on a daily basis. Fear. Dread. Grief and living grief. But now we have extra emotions warring at our soul. There may be sadness and feelings of loss over the lifestyle we did have. I think that's all a normal response and there's no shame in it. We don't have to hide how we feel. We can identify it and deal with it. And let God have it so He can carry us through this difficult time.
The next part of the verse is going to be my prayer today as I navigate through this new level of grief, sadness, and loss. David says that God will send forth His mercy and His truth. Boy, if the world doesn't need a lot of both of those today! I need a dose of those today too! How about you?
You see, as caregivers, we might have a slight advantage over others right now. We already know that God carries us when we just don't have the strength. We have learned that He brings comfort on the hardest days and speaks peace during the longest nights. We know that He is the "enough" we need to make it one more day. Many of us have mastered running to Him with our cares, worries, and stressors. And we know what it's like to crawl up under the protection of His wings when there are no more words to say and no more tears to cry. He is our refuge, strength, and keeper of our souls.
Today, I will meditate on being under the shadow of His wings. I will purpose to trust Him - just for today with all the added baggage. My heart will pursue that secret place with Him where there is indescribable peace and comfort. I will stay still and hidden in Him for today as I trust Him to carry me just today. Will you join me?