That's Mine

This morning I was reading through Philippians. There were actually several things that stood out to me. I'll try not to unload them all here today. Lol. I read Paul's heartfelt prayers for the Philippian Christians and the way he encouraged them to stand in their faith.

As I read Pual's encouraging words I kept thinking this thought over and over. That's still for me! In the first chapter, Paul explains that God,  who had started a good work in them - would complete it. We can claim that. It's still ours and becoming a caregiver or a caregiver doesn't change it a bit! He's still working in us. Our situation doesn't dictate to God - He dictates to our situation.

Later in chapter one, the apostle encourages the new believers to continue striving for the gospel. That still applies. We see people online and off who still need to hear that God loves them and that He longs for a relationship with them. We are still carriers of the good news. Our circumstances are not strong enough to erase the message of love He has toward us and all mankind.

In chapter 2, Paul speaks to the Christian community in Philippi and says It is God who works in you both to will and to do for His good pleasure. He's still working in us! He still takes pleasure in our growth as we learn to trust Him more. Our present standing in this world is not strong enough or bad enough to take away His works in our lives. He continues to work toward revealing His glory in and through us.

Today, I encourage you to read Philippians again - with new eyes and with a heart that continues to say That's mine - and that's mine too! God has not changed His mind about you! He has not changed His will about you. He didn't give up when life got ugly. He didn't say "never mind" when we got confused. His love is still toward us and He longs to fellowship with our hearts. I will make a moment today to be quiet before Him and acknowledge that He is still on the throne of my heart - and I'll be thankful He didn't move out when the road got rocky! Will you join me?

In the Wilderness

In preparation for a session I'm doing tomorrow, I studied one of my favorite psalms this morning. You know what's so cool? The word of God is alive  - it never changes but always reached into whatever state we are and brings new life. I've read Psalm 29 thousands of times. I've taught from it. But here I am looking at it with new eyes. We change - the word doesn't. But it miraculously reaches into our situations time and time again to bring new insights for us. 

So in verse 8, David says the voice of the Lord shakes the wilderness. I am the first to say that it doesn't sound pleasant. It sounds a bit scary really. But there are two significant things that will help change our perspectives. The first thing I want to think about is the term wilderness. Before I started hiking I assumed a wilderness was a dry, barren desert region. This is absolutely not so. Living in Lousiana gave me access to the Kistachie Wilderness area. As I drove there the first time I wondered how it would all turn to desert. What I found was a mountainous region beaming with plants and animals of all kinds. It wasn't barren at all - just undeveloped and mostly untouched by man. 

As caregivers, we can feel like we are in a desert area - no life, no water. Or we may feel we are in a wilderness with life all around us but people are missing. It's a lonely place, the wilderness. But there is life there. There are water and food available. It's rugged and rough but we can keep moving through it. It's not a pleasant place - but we survive day after day.

Now let's look at the word "shake." It may seem like it has a negative connotation to it. But when you look it up in the original, it can mean to bring to birth. Wait. We're talking about the wilderness  - dry and deserted. A lonely place it is. We can't do much but survive - and survive we do! When God shakes our wilderness, it brings forth life. That's right - smack dab in the middle of the most difficult seasons of our lives - He brings birth. 

Today, I will wait for Him to birth life in the seemingly dead areas of my life. I'll wait for His breath to breathe life into my tired soul. Isn't that amazing? He is the author of life - and He'll share it with me to make sure I survive the wildernesses of life. I'm going to watch for His touch today and see how He brings life into my situations. I'll trust Him for breath today. Will you join me?

Sleepless Nights

This morning, as I was studying the Bible and reading some familiar passages, I landed in Psalm 121. It's an all-time favorite and I made the first verse or two into a song during the three weeks I lived in the ICU waiting room hoping my son would wake up. This first verse speaks of God being our helper and how the psalmist was looking to Him alone for help. It's not the aides, though a good one can be helpful. It's not the doctors or nurses, although they are an integral part of a good care team. But it is the Lord who is our helper - help, especially for our souls, comes solely from Him.

That's something to hold onto to encourage our hearts on a day to day basis, for sure! But today, my thoughts settled on verse 4. He who keeps you will not slumber, behold He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. Now, as a caregiver, you can understand how important the commodity of sleep is. Personally, sometimes I get a decent 6 hours of sleep, but there are many sleepless nights. I get grumpy if I don't get enough sleep even though I don't need as much as others. :-)

God, the ultimate caregiver, doesn't even need to sleep. That means He can keep a constant watch over us day and night. He doesn't take breaks. He doesn't take vacations, and He simply doesn't sleep. His watchful eye is always on us. The KJV says in Psalm 127:2 that the Lord gives to His beloved even in their sleep. I like that.

I love that God doesn't have to rest from being with me. Like a watchful father, He seizes those precious moments like a parent watching a child sleep. Did you ever watch your kid sleep? They seem so precious and innocent. You want to just scoop them up - but don't dare risk waking them, of course! So, you just stand there and watch them breathe.

God watches over us whether we are sleeping or waking and He never takes a break. Sometimes I have fallen into a dead sleep out of sheer exhaustion. Caregivers do that a lot I found out. But God doesn't do that. He sees us in those most exhausted states and extends His grace to us over and over again.

Today, I will be thankful that God continues to watch over us and He never takes a break. My thoughts will be on how He enjoys just watching us breathe. I'll meditate on His nearness and declare with the psalmist that the nearness of God is my good. And I will trust Him for just one more day. Will you join me?

Grandma's Poem

We've all had to make some adjustments during this pandemic. One thing I am grateful for is having my son home with me.  My aunt is in one nursing facility and my mom in another. Fortunately, both nursing homes have been proactive about connecting residents with their loved ones via technology. I can call and Facetime with my mom and I can send a message to skype with my aunt. I try to visit with each of them at least once a week. Monday, I talked with my aunt for a bit. Today, I got to visit with my mom. 

Mama doesn't talk much anymore. She will answer questions, mostly "yes" or "no" questions. She giggles a lot and cries when I call. The calls don't last too long as there isn't a whole lot to talk about with them. But today I decided to read mama one of my grandma's poems. (Her mother.) She seemed to really respond and acted like she enjoyed it. 

As I was reading it, I thought about how appropriate it is today. My grandmother wrote it years, decades, ago as a song. But I'll type it here as a poem - I hope you enjoy it!

Well my way was hedged and thorny

and I could not see outside.

I could not feel His presence

no matter how I tried.

So I raised my eyes to Jesus 

and though I could not see;

I held on to His promise

and claimed the victory.

Well He heard my feeble effort

tho He knew my faith was dim,

But He honored just that little

that He knew I had in Him.

And He lit my lamp in darkness,

and saved me from a fall 

We smashed a troup together

by faith, we leaped a wall.

Well I stumbled on a secret

and I think I learned it well

when you lift your voice in praises

you can shake the gates of hell.

It is the Lord's to battle, so when I found that out

I let Him do the fighting,

and I just cheer and shout.

Giving and Receiving

I've heard my self quoting the first part of John 14:27 a lot lately. So this morning I decided to look it up. Jesus tells His disciples Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you not as the world gives - do I give to you. But as I read it again this morning, I realized I've been leaving off the last part. It says Let not your heart be troubled - neither let it be afraid. (NASB)

That's important, of course, because Jesus said it, but so that we can keep the peace He gives to us. If you think about the act of giving - it requires the act of receiving. Have you ever given someone something and they give it back? To them, it was interpreted as worthless. It feels horrible when someone does that, doesn't it?

Jesus wants us to receive His peace - we gotta take it - and embrace it. As caregivers, our days can be anything but peaceful sometimes. We hit the floor running most days. Some nights we run all night too - when our loved one doesn't sleep well or is sick. But then we still have to do all the "normal" stuff that makes up our day. There's no exemption card for hard days! We cannot call in sick, either. We have to press through the best we can.

But we do not have to be troubled. We do not have to be afraid. We can choose to embrace His peace. I'll be the first to tell you that some days that's a LOT easier said than done. But it is a matter of choice and a lot of persistence too.

Today, I am going to receive His gift of peace. I don't have to understand it - I just need to embrace it and then LET it rule in my heart instead of uncertainty. My meditation will be on His peace and not life's disruptions. I'll rest in Him today - just today since that's all He told us to handle at a time. My thoughts will remain on the peace He gives me. Will you join me?

Insert Peace

As the pandemic begins to wind down, questions abound. As caregivers we are charged with the care of the nation's most vulnerable population. Our household has stayed in for 5 or 6 or how ever many weeks now to protect my son and grandson.

Over the next couple of weeks, some businesses will slowly start to open. I'm not sure it looks much different for me. I'm anxious to get Chris out into nature again! But caution wins out ever time I consider it. I don't think it's fear - but who knows what any emotion is at this point? Some of us have numbed out, and some of us nearly stroked out. lol. One thing that brings me comfort is the history of the Spanish flu. It did come to an end. Sadly, it was after many losses.

Not knowing what the days ahead hold can leave us with feelings of uncertainty. Maybe there are some feelings of security and safety from staying in our homes. I'm anxious to see my mom and aunt again, though. I am thankful I have my son at home - I'd be a basket case if he was in a facility. I'd probably go apply to be an aid - for real!

There seem to be so many things to be anxious for as each day unfolds. In Psalm 139:23, David asks God to know my anxious thoughts. On one hand, I'm like, Lord, You might not want to do that - it's a bit scary in there. But on the other hand, I'm all in - asking God to dig through all the crazy places in my mind - and then insert peace.

Isn't it cool that David penned this psalm all those years ago and we have it now to hold on to during this pandemic - storm? David was in earnest prayer without realizing what he was writing would someday be printed (unimaginable) and read by generations to come. I'm thankful for his openness and honesty, aren't you?

Today, my prayer is for God to search all my anxious thoughts and replace them with peace. His peace is lasting. Jesus said His peace wasn't like what the world could give. (John 14:27) My thoughts will pursue His peace today and I'll turn my meditations to embracing it and letting it rule in my heart and mind. Will you join me on that?

No Filter

I stayed in Psalm 139 for my devotions this morning, mostly because I love that chapter. It is so rich. My focus was on verses 7-12. The psalmist is talking about being in God's presence no matter where he goes or might try to hide. No matter where - God could still be found. And God could still see him.

The first thing that stood out to me was in verse 8 where David says if I make my bed in hell - You are there. Of course, my first question is why would you want to do that?  Lol. But once I thought about it a bit longer, I realized if I make a bad choice - God doesn't throw me away. He doesn't have a big buzzer He pushes as He screams, "Wrong answer!" Even when I do dumb stuff - and I do it a lot - He doesn't abandon. He doesn't get exasperated with me or my choices. He continues to walk with me trying to guide me.

The second thing that stood out in my mind today was verse 12 where the psalmist says darkness and light are the same to You. After reading this and the previous verses, it came to me that God sees all the time, and darkness can't hide from Him. Darkness also doesn't have the ability to conceal other things from Him - He can see through it.

We can't really hide from God behind anything - not even caregiving. He sees past our situations and circumstances and peers right into our hearts. Sometimes, people can't see past the caregiving. They forget there's a whole person inside. But God doesn't see us under the shadow of caregiving. He sees us for who we really are. For all we really are.

He sees and understands when we are overwhelmed by grief or confused about what to do. He sees when we are exhausted but still lifting our tired hands and heart up to Him. He even understands why and how our emotions can max out and hit bottom and bounce back in a matter of a couple of minutes. Or seconds. Or milliseconds. He gets us and His view of our hearts is not shrouded by caregiving or life.

Today, I will rejoice that He can see my heart that He understands me and walks with me through the day-to-day stuff. My meditation will be on how He chooses to be close to us (to me). He doesn't shun me because He doesn't know what to do with me. Instead, He moves in a bit closer so He can watch over my heart and keep my soul.