Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sleep. Show all posts

Sleepless Nights

This morning, as I was studying the Bible and reading some familiar passages, I landed in Psalm 121. It's an all-time favorite and I made the first verse or two into a song during the three weeks I lived in the ICU waiting room hoping my son would wake up. This first verse speaks of God being our helper and how the psalmist was looking to Him alone for help. It's not the aides, though a good one can be helpful. It's not the doctors or nurses, although they are an integral part of a good care team. But it is the Lord who is our helper - help, especially for our souls, comes solely from Him.

That's something to hold onto to encourage our hearts on a day to day basis, for sure! But today, my thoughts settled on verse 4. He who keeps you will not slumber, behold He who keeps Israel will neither slumber nor sleep. Now, as a caregiver, you can understand how important the commodity of sleep is. Personally, sometimes I get a decent 6 hours of sleep, but there are many sleepless nights. I get grumpy if I don't get enough sleep even though I don't need as much as others. :-)

God, the ultimate caregiver, doesn't even need to sleep. That means He can keep a constant watch over us day and night. He doesn't take breaks. He doesn't take vacations, and He simply doesn't sleep. His watchful eye is always on us. The KJV says in Psalm 127:2 that the Lord gives to His beloved even in their sleep. I like that.

I love that God doesn't have to rest from being with me. Like a watchful father, He seizes those precious moments like a parent watching a child sleep. Did you ever watch your kid sleep? They seem so precious and innocent. You want to just scoop them up - but don't dare risk waking them, of course! So, you just stand there and watch them breathe.

God watches over us whether we are sleeping or waking and He never takes a break. Sometimes I have fallen into a dead sleep out of sheer exhaustion. Caregivers do that a lot I found out. But God doesn't do that. He sees us in those most exhausted states and extends His grace to us over and over again.

Today, I will be thankful that God continues to watch over us and He never takes a break. My thoughts will be on how He enjoys just watching us breathe. I'll meditate on His nearness and declare with the psalmist that the nearness of God is my good. And I will trust Him for just one more day. Will you join me?

Rest? Who Needs Rest?

When I first brought my son home I soon realized that a good night's sleep was a thing of the past. It was like having an infant again where even if they sleep well, you wake up with every little sound they make. I finally adjusted and relaxed a bit until now I do get some sleep.

In case you hadn't noticed, I'm pretty high strung and very active inside and out. I hate to sleep - I know I need it but it seems like such a waste of time. Do you know what all I could get done in that 6 hours? Yes, 6 hours, that's what I try to give myself because I just can't stand to sleep away one-third of the day.


Actually, sleep and rest are two different things and as I have battled my own medical conditions of late (perhaps brought on by lack of sleep? *smile*) I have learned the importance of sleeping and resting. Sleep is the way we rest our bodies so they remain strong and fight off disease. But rest is an inside thing. Maybe that's why Jesus said in Matthew 11:29 that He would give us rest for our souls.  Our mind, will and emotions need to find that place of rest more than our bodies do. If our minds are going too fast or our emotions run high there is no good sleep anyway. Our mind and emotions can rob our bodies of necessary rest.

God understands the caregiver's need for rest; and He is gentle with us. There are days when we think we cannot move one more step. And then have to take our loved one to urgent care or the ER. We step up and do what needs to be done knowing that when we do get back home it's going to be a long night. We can go without sleep, and many of us do much of the time; but He can give us rest for our souls.

There is a place in Him where our souls can be comforted on the most difficult of days. Hebrews 4:9 tells us that there remains a Sabbath rest for His people. Even though the caregiver's life is far from normal to others and it can be very hectic - there is a rest we can walk in. Remember Matthew 11:29? Jesus prefaced that by saying Come to me. Even though the church tends to ignore the caregiver, Jesus does not shun us because we look different and live differently than others. He reaches into our chaotic, painful world and gently says, "Come to me and I will give you rest."

Today I will make a conscious effort to come to Him. My meditation will be on the truth that He loves me and cares for me. I will turn my thoughts to working at resting in Him. Will you join me?

No Walking Out

I wear a little fitness band by Withings. It tracks my steps each day and at night I can set it to monitor my sleep. Yesterday this is what my sleep looked like! I got in bed late and had some restless sleep and then my son spiked a fever and we headed to the hospital. It ended up not being anything serious - but with him, as with many you just never know. We were back home in just a couple of hours but there are times under similar conditions when we've been admitted and faced a hospital stay. We just never know.

Over time as caregivers we don't really get used to these trips, but we do adjust to them being just part of our lives. fortunately these trips do not occur as often as they have in the past, but they sure wear me out when they do.

Days like today I have to think about my go-to scripture in Isaiah 40:28 that says The Everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth does not become weary or tired. I sure would like to know how that feels. How can He not get tired? Not only does He deal with millions of people everyday He never sleeps! It makes me wonder why He made us need to sleep. It's always seemed like such a waste of time to me to spend nearly one-third of our day in a horizontal position. I've always tried to get 6 hours of sleep so I'm not wasting so much time.

Since we know God is not sleeping or taking a break, we can rest assured that He is always watching over us. He sees us when we make those 3 AM runs to the hospital. He hears us fussing at Him about how we need more strength and asking Him to help us make through the night. He knows how frustrated we can get with the system. But He never gets tired. He never comes to the end of Himself like I do.

He never shakes His head and walks away. Sometimes I can get the feeling that people get tired of the caregiver's situation. It may be because they really don't know what to do to help or make it better. Since they can't fix anything for us they walk away. God never does that - He just keeps on walking it out with us day after day.

Today I will meditate on the truth that He will not leave me. I'm going to think about how He doesn't get tired of me, He doesn't get frustrated, shake His head and walk out. I will think about how He is the only constant in my life and today I will lean on Him. Will you join me?

Sleep is Overrated!

I am certain that sleep is overrated! I have always wondered why God made our bodies to need a certain amount of sleep every night. It seems like such a waste of time. Didn't He know how much I could get done if I did not have to lay down for that minimum of 6 hours a night?

 I was thinking about this last night as my son was waking me up every hour on the hour until about 3 this morning. All the things I needed to accomplish today were running through my mind as I was griping about having to give in to the tiredness. I even thought, why did You make us have to sleep? You never sleep?

 ....but He did rest...from all His works!

 So here it is 3 am and caregiving is stealing my sleep that I didn't really want in the first place and now my mind is racing. He does not ever sleep. He does not grow tired....but I do!

As I lay there frustrated and trying to decide if I should just get up and stop fighting it; asking all these questions - I was pretty sure I was not disturbing God since He doesn't sleep! I realized that in our sleep our bodies reset. That few hours that some of us get is essential for our heart, brain and other organs to rejuvenate. And as I was finally dozing off thoughts of resting in Him were running through my head.

If we can ever get it - how when we shut ourselves down and rest in Him - our hearts and minds can be rejuvenated. So as I go about today in this fog of a sleepless night I will be meditating on reminding myself to rest in Him. Care to join me?

Healing Rest

Early in the mornings I go in and feed my son through his peg tube, change him and get him comfortable. Shortly after that he usually goes off into a deep sleep; a restful sleep. I checked on him just before starting to write this morning and he was out! I thought, he's getting good, restful sleep...healing rest. I figure that when he is sleeping real good and letting his mind and body rest that he is healing. We know rest and healing are connected.

 What does that mean to the caregiver? Because as a caregiver, we have pain every day. It never real goes away because we are dealing with a stressful, painful situation all the time; so it hurts all the time. We see our loved one not able to function fully on their own and to need help with simple, daily living skills. They are not who they were and in my case I grieve a lot over the loss of my son - even though he is still here. Yet he's not still here - not like he was. And as we walk out each day, each step along the way can be filled with pain.

 So as I watched my son sleeping (parents never tire of watching their kids sleep do they?) and was thinking about how rest brings healing, I though about the times I can press through the pain and truly find rest in Him. Those are the times He can heal our broken hearts...but only when we can quiet our souls and minds (sometimes it's more difficult to quiet the soul than the mind...) and truly rest in Him can we find the healing we need. And we must do it every day. Because we hurt every day - and we need His touch every single day.

So find a moment today somewhere, somehow...to rest your soul in His. Let Him wipe away the moment's pain...it will return...but He can handle it! Keep resting in Him....

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...