Reloading

 This morning, when I turned my computer on, that little wheel went round and round. It always takes a little bit for my laptop to reboot, reset, and get ready to go for the morning. I stared at that little wheel that was spinning round and round. I thought it was a great representation of how my brain was acting this morning. Lol. Do you ever feel that way? 

My brain is trying to reload to take on another day, but the thoughts are just spinning round and round. It doesn't seem like anything is getting done at all. It's one of those days where I'd like to just sit and stare at the wall and drink coffee. But as caregivers, we all know that's not got a chance of happening. :-)

So, I pick up my Bible hoping to find something to help me reload for the day ahead, and again there's nothing. I'm pretty sure it's a sign of burnout. But who has time for burnout? There's too much to do, and this brain and heart of mine have to get reloaded, so I can get the tasks on my list done today. There's not really another option. 

It's so easy to feel like my boat is in the middle of a troubled sea, and water keeps splashing in with the wind and the waves. Is it just a matter of time until the boat fills up and begins to sink? Alone, in an unending sea of caregiving tasks, responsibilities, and cares, wondering what the day will bring. Will I sink, or will I swim? I try to imagine that God's huge hand swoops in and picks me up, and whisks my soul away to safety. But I don't really have that promise. 

What I do have, though, is the promise that He is with me. Isaiah 43:1-2 doesn't promise smooth sailing. What it does promise is that when - not if - we go through the rough waters and the fires of life, God is with us. It also reminds us that the fire won't consume us, and the flood won't overtake us. But it is certainly not a pleasant feeling, is it?

As I meditate on this passage on Isaiah, I like to think of it as reloading my soul to trust God for another day. I remind myself that He's been with me and seen me through every fire and flood my soul has faced so far, and today is not the day He will choose to change. Slowly, I reload my brain with scriptures that bring comfort. Maybe I'll even take time to read them to myself out loud this morning. 

Today, I find His presence comforting to my soul. I will pull out my favorite scriptures and reload my brain with them to encourage myself to continue trusting Him even in the storm(s). I'll remind myself that He's not going to pick today to leave His promises undone. He's promised peace in the storms, His presence in the darkest passageways of life, and His peace for my reloading brain this morning. I'll reload my brain with the truth that He is here, so I can trust Him for one more long day. Will you join me?

                                                                                                                                           

Would You Like to Help Dove's Fire Ministries?

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Path Choices

There's a lot that goes on in a single day in the life of a caregiver. We are all great jugglers, and learn to balance it all out. Of course, that usually means we end up cutting out our plans for free time or five minutes to relax. I may not get a shower for a day or two, but you can bet my son will get his personal needs met. Am I right? There's a lot to juggle, and there's a lot coming at us all at one time. In some ways, that's not much different than anyone else's chaotic life in these high-energy times.

This morning, there were a lot of things coming right at me, and I was sure they were not going to miss!  I found myself juggling things around here and there. I did opt for a shower and cut some other things, just so you know! Lol. But it can sure be frustrating trying to figure out which important things should go in those early morning hours. Do I cut my walk, which is beneficial to my physical and mental health? Or do I cut the shower which can offend anyone I might be near today? It sounds silly, but seriously, there's only time for one or the other some days.

I started raking my brain trying to think of some sort of scripture that would match (or support) all the crazy thoughts that were going through my head this morning. I certainly felt like a plate juggler who was trying to keep them all spinning so none would fall and break. The sad thing is that when we find ourselves in these types of scenarios, we are often the moving part that breaks. 

My thoughts ran through several scriptures, but I landed on two. They are in John 14 and John 16. In both passages, Jesus mentions both peace and trouble. He promises His peace no matter what - but there is always trouble nearby, it seems. So, then I realized it came down to a simple path choice. Will I choose to walk in His peace today, no matter how I may need to arrange or rearrange my tasks? Or will I embrace the trouble I see and feel all around me? It turns out it's a simple path choice. The "trouble" is going to be there, whether I choose peace or not! That simplifies it a bit, now, doesn't it?

Today, no matter what it looks like around me - I choose the path of peace. I choose to trust Him with my raw emotions, overburdened schedule, and heavy heart. I'll trust Him to handle it - I trust Him to handle me and all my messy thoughts! He won't turn a blind eye or ignore me, either, like people do sometimes. I'll remind myself that He's right here with me and ready to help me with anything I decide to relinquish control of. So, today, I'll give Him control. I choose peace, even if it means some things are not going to get done today. I'll choose to embrace His grace, His mercy, and His love as I trust Him with and for one more day. Will you join me?

                                                                                                                                           

Would You Like to Help Dove's Fire Ministries?

Maybe you've wondered about helping support all that goes on at DFM. One way is to shop my personal bookstore, which has devotionals, Bible study guides, and more that I have written. Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore.

You can also donate via PayPal at paypal.me/dovesfireministries 

Or you can donate via CashApp: $JeanieOlinger

Or if you have Venmo my ID is:@Mary-Olinger-6

Perceptions

 It's so easy to think we messed up when life takes what we perceive as a wrong turn. When something catastrophic and life-altering occurs, we begin to try and figure out what we did wrong. Maybe it's just me! :-) Tons of questions start to form and run through our minds. Did I miss something? Did I disobey God? Didn't I have enough faith? Did I doubt? Perhaps I didn't pray enough, read enough, or do enough of something...

But that's not the case at all. Storms don't come in life because we commit a sin or because we omit something. They are just part of life, period. Yesterday, we talked about Jonah. He did find himself in a storm and the belly of a whale because he disobeyed God, I'll admit. However, let's look at a New Testament account where obedience sent the disciples right into a storm.

In Matthew 14, Jesus told the disciples to get into the boat and go across the sea. He did not warn them about a storm. He did not prepare them by telling them He'd come out to them in the darkest moments. He just told them to go get in the boat and head across the waters. They obeyed Him as they should have and still ended up in the middle of the stormy sea in the middle of the night. Neither obedience nor disobedience caused the storm and put them in a precarious situation. The storm was coming whether they obeyed or not. Had they disobeyed and stayed on shore, the storm would have still come. But they would not have experienced the peace that came when Jesus got in the boat with them. And Peter would have missed the opportunity to walk on water. 

In the case of disobedient Jonah and the obedient disciples - God came to them. He brought His peace. He met Jonah in the belly of the whale and gave him a place to repent and restore the relationship. Jesus met the disciples in their storm, taught them about faith, and brought His peace, calming their nerves and the storm.

We can trust God to meet us in the storm - no matter what we perceive its origin to be. He will come. He will bring peace (it's part of Him - He can't leave it behind!). He will give us grace for the moment and strength for today's battle. We can count on it - the storm is not our fault. It is there to reveal who God is in our hearts.

Today, I will look for Jesus in the storm. I will not "should" on myself and give myself a list of things I should have done or not done. I'll just trust Him to calm the storm in my soul. I'll remind myself that He's staying in the boat with me. He won't bail on me. And I will trust Him to be with me for one more day - will you join me? 

                                                                                                                                           

Would You Like to Help Dove's Fire Ministries?

Maybe you've wondered about helping support all that goes on at DFM. One way is to shop my personal bookstore, which has devotionals, Bible study guides, and more that I have written. Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore.

You can also donate via PayPal at paypal.me/dovesfireministries 

Or you can donate via CashApp: $JeanieOlinger

Or if you have Venmo my ID is:@Mary-Olinger-6

Meeting Places

Do you think it odd that right in the middle of the wilderness, God instructed Moses and the Children of Israel to build a mobile Tabernacle? I mean seriously. He just rescued them from centuries of brutal slavery, and they are traveling across the wilderness toward the Promise Land. In the middle of their journey, God effectively added "one more thing" to their overloaded plate. Why would He do that?

I think that He knew they'd been locked in a mental cave. Think about it, the generations coming out of Egypt had never known anything but slavery. They had known oppression, mistreatment, and probably dealt with depression a lot. I suspect they dealt with what we would call PTSD today. Yet, here they are, free and headed toward the land God is giving them, and He has them stop and construct the Tabernacle.

Why? God said that He wanted a place to meet with them. He was getting Egypt, bondage, and the slave mentality out of them and soaking them in His grace and mercy. He wanted a meeting place. That's not really too odd if we think about it. He's created some very interesting meeting places over time.

He met Moses in the backside of the wilderness at the burning bush. He met Jonah in the belly of the whale. Jonah 1:17 says that God prepared a big fish for Jonah. Why? He wanted to create the perfect place for Jonah to repent and meet with Him. These are two very different situations and are caused by very different circumstances. That encourages me to think that God still wants to use meeting places in our lives too. 

If God can create the belly of the whale for Jonah, who disobeyed on purpose and rebelled deliberately, He can meet me in life's deepest darkest places too. God will always have a meeting place for us. It's a place where we can safely pour out our hearts to Him - no matter how good or bad it may feel or sound to us. It's a place where He replaces our fears with His comfort. In that place, He soothes our emotions like no other and heals our wounds - even if they were self-afflicted, like Jonah's.

Sometimes, caregiving can feel like the belly of a whale. It can feel oh so lonely and dark. But God can use it for a meeting place. All we have to do is turn our cries and prayers toward Him. He meets us right there.

Today, I will think about how God goes out of His way to meet me in my caregiver's cave (i.e., the belly of the whale!). My meditations will be on how He always gives grace for the day and prepares mercy for me before I even open my eyes in the mornings. For that, I will give thanks and let it be the catalyst for changing my day. Will you join me?

                                                                                                                                           

Would You Like to Help Dove's Fire Ministries?

Maybe you've wondered about helping support all that goes on at DFM. One way is to shop my personal bookstore, which has devotionals, Bible study guides, and more that I have written. Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore.

You can also donate via PayPal at paypal.me/dovesfireministries 

Or you can donate via CashApp: $JeanieOlinger

Or if you have Venmo my ID is:@Mary-Olinger-6

Picture Perfect World

 

It's too bad that a picture-perfect world only exists in our imaginations. Of course, we have movies, TV, and books where we can enjoy that perfect world in our minds, even if it is only temporarily. Don't we love stories where the good guys always win, the girl finds the love of her life, and daddies always come home? Too bad life doesn't always play out in a "they lived happily ever after" scenario, right?

One thing I love about the Bible is the stories tell us just how it happened. There's no sugarcoating or smoothing things over. The writers, inspired by God, didn't try to make our heroes out to be perfect. We have the stories and the characters just as they were in real life. Those of us who live in picture-imperfect worlds need to see the blunt realities the Bible portrays. We need to see how God's grace carried them through, even when they messed up - and boy, did they! It's okay  - I mess up too.

As my thoughts ran through so many of my favorite Bible stories, they landed on Samson. God called Samson before he was born; that's a pattern we see throughout the Bible. Later on, Samson totally messed up. He blatantly followed a path that God and his parents had forbidden. He ended up in the lap of the seductress, Delilah. Samson lost it all. He lost God's gift of strength, his dignity, his freedom, and his eyesight. He lived the rest of his life in chains and didn't even get the woman in the end. (I wonder if Delilah ever repented...)

But when you look at the Believer's Hall of Faith in Hebrews 11, guess who's there!! Samson! He purposefully chose disobedience, yet God still fulfilled His promise to and through Samson. God still used him, and he was listed among the fathers of our faith. Doesn't that just blow your mind? 

I mess up sometimes, too. But it's generally not because I disobeyed on purpose. It's usually because I'm impatient or just dumb. Lol. As caregivers, we live in a less-than-picture-perfect world - not because we sinned, not due to anything that is our fault. So, I'm pretty sure that God can walk into our less-than-perfect worlds and extend His grace and mercy to us too. If He redeemed the likes of Jonah and Samson - He's got His eye on us, and He's got our backs too!

Today, I'm determined to get over myself and my situation and look past my glaring faults and blemished soul and gaze at His grace instead. I'll remind myself of how God always "gets His man" (or woman), and He has come after me and you too! My meditations will be on the constant presence of His grace - enough for today. Enough for this week. Enough to carry us through these caregiving days. And I'll choose to trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

                                                                                                                                           

Would You Like to Help Dove's Fire Ministries?

Maybe you've wondered about helping support all that goes on at DFM. One way is to shop my personal bookstore, which has devotionals, Bible study guides, and more that I have written. Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore.

You can also donate via PayPal at paypal.me/dovesfireministries 

Or you can donate via CashApp: $JeanieOlinger

Or if you have Venmo my ID is:@Mary-Olinger-6

Everyone Wants the "W"

 Caregiving is a journey on a road that has many hills and valleys. Some parts of the journey can seem like the hills and valleys are all bumped up next to each other, and there are no breaks in between. This is a pretty accurate description of one day. Sometimes, it explains the emotions of an hour. And sometimes, even less time can occur between the highs and lows. Highs and lows for caregivers can be in so many areas, and even all at the same time. Wins and losses all add up and we just hope that at the end of the day we are in the red emotionally.

No matter how the day's game plays out  - we all want the W in the end!

TheW, in sports terms, is the Win, ultimate victory! Everything doesn't have to run smoothly, and it doesn't have to be the greatest day ever - we just need to feel like we won the day as we crawl into bed each night.

When David was at Ziklag, he was in one of his lowest moments. He'd been rejected by the Philistine army, as the lead commander didn't trust David to fight for them against his own people. So, he and his army of 600 men went back to camp, only to find it all wiped out and all their loved ones carried away captive. 

Get this picture, now. All these Warriors are sitting around the burned-down city of Ziklag. They are all Weeping - big ole Warriors are Weeping or crying thier hearts out, because they are grieving over the loss. If they cried - I can cry too!

They were real Warriors with some serious Weapons. But David didn't gather the troops and head them right into battle. He Waited. First off, David encouraged himself in God's ability - not in his own. Then he asked God for Wisdom. David was an experienced, effective Warrior, yet he Waited for God's Word before he headed off to fight a battle. Once God promised the Win, David and his 600 men headed out.

How many times do we forget the Waiting part? I hurry about my day, because, quite honestly, as you know, there is a LOT to do! But the true Wins come in the Waiting.

Today, I purpose to wait on God instead of running through my tasks. I'll take the time to ask Him for Wisdom and I'll Wait for His answers. I'll Wait for His strength to carry me through the day, no matter what. The true W - Win, comes in the Waiting. Will you wait with me today?

                                                                                                                                           

Would You Like to Help Dove's Fire Ministries?

Maybe you've wondered about helping support all that goes on at DFM. One way is to shop my personal bookstore, which has devotionals, Bible study guides, and more that I have written. Dove's Fire Ministries Bookstore.

You can also donate via PayPal at paypal.me/dovesfireministries 

Or you can donate via CashApp: $JeanieOlinger

Or if you have Venmo my ID is:@Mary-Olinger-6

Sandwiched

 I love the Psalms. The psalmists are all so open, raw, and real with their emotions. Reading the Psalms has let me know that it's okay to tell God anything and everything. During my growing up years, I was toted off to church any time there was a service. Sometimes, we traveled, and I got to miss school to attend minister's meetings with my mom. I learned so much at the height of the Charismatic move. I wouldn't trade anything for that upbringing. As the movement evolved, we found ourselves in the middle of the Faith movement. I've seen some of the greats like Lester Sumrall and Pop Hagin many times. 

But the "faith movement" was lacking a bit and got off center. It was indirectly taught that if we had faith, we didn't get sick, we wouldn't be poor, and bad things wouldn't happen to us. You can imagine my personal conflict when I got sick. And when my son had his wreck, and I started my caregiving journey, it took some time to reshape and redefine faith.

Our Bible heroes are heroes because they went through things - not because they avoided them. Daniel faced the lion's den. Joseph spent years in prison for something he didn't do - that after being betrayed by his own brothers and sold as a slave. Even Paul talks about the trials and struggles he went through before he got the revelation in 2 Corinthians 12 that God's grace is enough for any and all situations.

So, this morning as I was reading Psalm 92:5, I found something interesting. The psalmist says that in the morning, he will declare God's mercies. Then, he says in the evenings, he will declare God's faithfulness. We know that God's mercies are new every morning  - for us - because God has no mornings. It's His way of refreshing us for each of our new days. I can declare in the morning that I will trust God's mercies for the day. I will declare that I will be thankful, that I will praise Him, that I will lift my hands to Him in total trust no matter what the day brings.

In the evening, I will thank Him for carrying me through another day. I can acknowledge that His mercies were enough for the events of the day, so I end my day with gratitude for His sustaining power.

But it's the in-between sandwiched between my morning prayers and my evening thanksgiving that is more difficult to navigate. Who knows what a day will bring. My thoughts can run crazily through the events of the day - and hopefully always land upright, cradled by His mercy and grace. It's those occurrences that keep my heart pounding and my mind running that are difficult. I can do the "morning" thing. And I can do the "evening" thing - but man, are those in-betweens rough riding!?

It takes constantly reminding myself that He hasn't abandoned me. I must constantly reel in my thoughts to make them compliant to His word and His will. Quite honestly, that's a lot of work with all the stuff that can get thrown at you while caregiving. But we can do it. We just have to remind ourselves over and over that He's got us.

Today, I will remind myself that God didn't leave me in time to sink or swim, but instead, He chooses to walk through this day with me. My meditations will be on His mercies and grace for today, no matter how many times I must force my thoughts back into that stream. I'll turn my thoughts to gratitude and purposefully look for things to be thankful for in today's in-between. Will you join me?