I love the Psalms. The psalmists are all so open, raw, and real with their emotions. Reading the Psalms has let me know that it's okay to tell God anything and everything. During my growing up years, I was toted off to church any time there was a service. Sometimes, we traveled, and I got to miss school to attend minister's meetings with my mom. I learned so much at the height of the Charismatic move. I wouldn't trade anything for that upbringing. As the movement evolved, we found ourselves in the middle of the Faith movement. I've seen some of the greats like Lester Sumrall and Pop Hagin many times.
But the "faith movement" was lacking a bit and got off center. It was indirectly taught that if we had faith, we didn't get sick, we wouldn't be poor, and bad things wouldn't happen to us. You can imagine my personal conflict when I got sick. And when my son had his wreck, and I started my caregiving journey, it took some time to reshape and redefine faith.
Our Bible heroes are heroes because they went through things - not because they avoided them. Daniel faced the lion's den. Joseph spent years in prison for something he didn't do - that after being betrayed by his own brothers and sold as a slave. Even Paul talks about the trials and struggles he went through before he got the revelation in 2 Corinthians 12 that God's grace is enough for any and all situations.
So, this morning as I was reading Psalm 92:5, I found something interesting. The psalmist says that in the morning, he will declare God's mercies. Then, he says in the evenings, he will declare God's faithfulness. We know that God's mercies are new every morning - for us - because God has no mornings. It's His way of refreshing us for each of our new days. I can declare in the morning that I will trust God's mercies for the day. I will declare that I will be thankful, that I will praise Him, that I will lift my hands to Him in total trust no matter what the day brings.
In the evening, I will thank Him for carrying me through another day. I can acknowledge that His mercies were enough for the events of the day, so I end my day with gratitude for His sustaining power.
But it's the in-between sandwiched between my morning prayers and my evening thanksgiving that is more difficult to navigate. Who knows what a day will bring. My thoughts can run crazily through the events of the day - and hopefully always land upright, cradled by His mercy and grace. It's those occurrences that keep my heart pounding and my mind running that are difficult. I can do the "morning" thing. And I can do the "evening" thing - but man, are those in-betweens rough riding!?
It takes constantly reminding myself that He hasn't abandoned me. I must constantly reel in my thoughts to make them compliant to His word and His will. Quite honestly, that's a lot of work with all the stuff that can get thrown at you while caregiving. But we can do it. We just have to remind ourselves over and over that He's got us.
Today, I will remind myself that God didn't leave me in time to sink or swim, but instead, He chooses to walk through this day with me. My meditations will be on His mercies and grace for today, no matter how many times I must force my thoughts back into that stream. I'll turn my thoughts to gratitude and purposefully look for things to be thankful for in today's in-between. Will you join me?