I Can do "All" Things?

Caregiving is one of the hardest things I've ever done; and I've done a lot of "above average" things. I have started and ran my own freelance business, taught junior high math, hiked 10 mile wilderness trails and run a marathon. I also got rid of all my stuff at one point and picked up and moved half way across the country all by myself to stay with people I had never met. But as I read this familiar scripture one more time, it didn't seem to fit exactly like it did before.
In Philippians 4:13 Paul says I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Paul wrote it while sitting in jail. He wrote it to encourage the Philippians. What did he really mean?

If we look at it contextually, it might not mean what we thought. We've used it for every tight spot in life and for an encouragement to get things done that we thought we couldn't do. While that might not be a bad thing, it doesn't seem to be the context of the verse.

Looking at the entire passage we will see that Paul is talking about being content. He's not really talking about doing.  In the preceding verse the apostle is speaking of having plenty and doing without. He was discussing learning a great lesson - that God is the same no matter what our situation is; and we can make it through any circumstances because Christ is in us strengthening us for the journey.

For the caregiver this means we can make it whether our friends walk it with us or not, whether we are in or out of a local church, and whether or not we have sleep. That's important to the caregiver - and many times it is a basic need we lack. No matter what a day or night throws our way - we have to learn to be content with it. It will make things go much smoother.

When my son was injured and I was catching a flight from Chicago back to Shreveport to be with him, I was stopped by security. I was targeted because I had one carry on bag, bought a one way ticket and purchased it just a couple hours prior to the flight.Not only did they thoroughly search me, they took everything out of my bag and spread it all out to ensure I didn't have any explosives. I was really in a state of shock or I might not have been so patient. They actually thanked me for my patience. Without even thinking I looked up and said, "Would it have made it go any faster had I been impatient?" They laughed and said, "not really." I told them with tears in my eyes that I was just trying to get to my son. They understood.

We can be as content or un-content as we want and it will not make the caregiving journey any easier. It's important to learn to deal with it the best we can, and be content in Him. Then we will find that we have the strength to endure. We will find that we can do all things through Christ as He gives us His strength for the journey.

Today I will meditate on His strength in me. I will think about being content with the journey; and being content with Him no matter where I am on the journey. My thoughts will be on the truth that in an ever changing situation, He remains constant. No matter what life throws at me today - He is still faithful. I'm content with that. Will you join me?

Think About It

I enjoy taking pictures of nature and BC (before caregiving) I used to enjoy hiking. One of the things I liked so much about being out in the wilderness area was when nature would surprise me with a burst of color. It was always amazing to me how I'd be in the deep woods miles from anything, maybe even climbing a relatively rough terrain scattered with rocks and out of nowhere would pop up the daintiest little flowers. It always made me smile.

This morning when I was looking for some sort of picture to put here I had my choice between just 2 or 3 I'd taken from my small backyard. Then I had this thought, none of these flowers are there - not one of them exists today. It almost made me sad to think that they are just here for a short time and then they faded away. it can seem like our whole lives are that way at times.

Honestly, sometimes I feel really cheated by life. It can seem like I had several spots in my life where there were colorful bursts only to be denied my hopes and dreams. If I do not control my mind it can lead to depression and distress. I wonder if that is how Paul felt while he was sitting in prison writing Philippians 4:8. He told the believers to think about things that are:

true

honorable

just

pure 

lovely

of a good report

Well, I must admit, my mind wanders a bit from these kinds of thoughts. Okay, so it wanders a long ways away from these types of thoughts. Like the flowers, it can be there - and then gone. Paul is one who understood adversity - yet he instructs us to control our minds and keep them on good things. He had to understand how difficult that was sitting in his prison cell separated and isolated similar to us.

I first learned this verse as a little girl in Missionettes. It was along about the same time we were learning to embroider (because that's what girls were supposed to do). I was concentrating so hard because I found it a very difficult task, that I embroidered my hooped material to my skirt. Of course I didn't know it until I stood up! lol Such a fun memory now although I thought my world had ended that afternoon! 

Over the years I ended up teaching this scripture to my children and in a variety of church settings. And I have to say it still takes work - especially some days. But it is so worth it and makes our day and our attitude go so much better when we train our mind to focus on what is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely and of a good report.

Today I will purposefully keep my mind on things that are good. When my thoughts begin to wander and doubts try to take over I will crowd them out with honorable, pure thoughts. I will keep my mind on Him today with intention. Will you join me?

Not a Fair Trade at All

Be anxious for nothing. That's what Paul told the believers in Philippians 4:6. Obviously they didn't have a handicap van and people parking in the way of the lift in a clearly marked restricted area! (People wrongfully taking handicap spots is one of my pet peeves btw.)

As a caregiver you know how anxious life can be at times, or all the times sometimes. Surely Paul would rethink these instructions were he here today, or maybe he wouldn't. Every single day there are constant opportunities to be anxious, sometimes it even feels like we are living anxious. If we do not guard ourselves we can be one huge bundle of anxious as we walk through the day. And it can take the smallest thing to cause us to explode.

One of the strategies I use for dealing with anxious thoughts is to turn them into prayers. Sometimes, when I remember, I turn them into thankful prayers. Then not only do I have peace in my heart, but His peace invades it as well. And when I give Him these crazy, out of hand thoughts, He faithfully places His peace to guard my heart.

Sometimes these transitional prayers come easy, other times they are difficult. But I am learning to stop the thoughts before they run totally away with my peace of mind and heart. One of my friends told me one time that I have a "Google Mind." She said when someone starts talking or something happens I can take one little hint and my mind starts spitting out results, scenarios, etc. She's pretty much right too! My mind goes so fast and my thoughts can go so wrong so quickly. It's a constant struggle to keep my thoughts from getting totally out of hand. I do that by turning them into prayers and thanksgiving.

One issue for me has been finances. I'm sure no one else has that to worry about along with the other caregiving responsibilities! Right? When it gets too tight for my comfort, which is a lot lately, I start thinking of things to be thankful for. We have never missed a meal, our lights are still on, I am still able to work, etc. I find that when I turn my crazy thoughts into thankfulness His peace begins to shore up my mind. My hope, strength and peace do not come from being able to work (although I am thankful for that); but they come from Him to guard my mind. My work becomes keeping my mind on Him and seeing Him as my provider no matter what the bank account says!

You know what? He gets my anxiety.And He will take it if I will give it to Him. I have to let it go so that He can replace it with His peace. It's not a fair trade really - He takes my anxious thoughts, and I get His peace. I'm okay with that!

Today I will make a conscious effort to give Him my anxiety and allow His peace to reign in my heart and mind. When my thoughts start trying to run off with my life - I'll stop, pause and turn my thoughts to Him. My meditation will be on His ability to provide peace. I will choose to embrace it and walk in it today. Will you join me?

A Few "Forevers" to Help You Rejoice

When writing to the Christians in Philippi, Paul reminded them to rejoice in the Lord. He must have really wanted to emphasize it because he said it twice in Phil. 4:4 - rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, rejoice. Many might think that as caregivers we do not have a lot to rejoice about or that we have a right to be sad or upset. After all, life "cheated" us. We really cannot afford to buy into that lie.

Sometimes I have to admit when someone who I think lives in an ivory castle so to speak tells me to rejoice or be thankful, I would like to just punch them. They don't understand real life. Many appear to live a highly protected life free from a lot of the struggles we have to face everyday. And it is true that they are not dealing with our situation. But even among caregivers each of our situations has very different features and circumstances. No two journeys are alike even though we are caregivers. It can be easy to compare ourselves among ourselves and see how we have an "easier" road or a more difficult road to walk. There are no easy roads in caregiving. But there are ways to rejoice in every situation.

Caregiving is tough period and it can seem that there is nothing to be thankful for and nothing to rejoice in. It's really a matter of attitude and choice. If we look hard enough and long enough we will find something to rejoice about. And we can find things to be thankful about every single day. It changes our perspective and helps us deal with our situation in a more positive light.

Our day can cloud up rather quickly and it can be difficult to see from a positive point of view. Caregivers do a lot and there is little or no reward. Sometimes finding things to be thankful for and rejoice about  comes easy - other times it is difficult to find anything to rejoice in. Here are a few forevers to rejoice in no matter what the day looks like:

• His undending mercy
• His unchanging unconditional love
• His ever abiding presence
• His careful watch over our souls
• His unchanging truth

Finding something to rejoice about can effectively change our perspective even if we don't feel like it. It can change the outcome of the day.

Today I will meditate on the things about God that do not change. I will purposefully set my mind on the truth that He is with me, loves me and He gives me mercy and grace for the journey. I will trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Life's Not Fair - But He Is

One of the things I prayed when I started this caregiving journey was that it would not make me bitter. I didn't want to grow old and angry at life. My prayer was that God would use the pressurized situation to make me a softer person and that it would temper me into a vessel He could use.

But let's face it, we have a lot we could complain about. After all, life has dealt us what many would call an unfair blow; our lives will never be considered "normal" again. But I can't complain; or can I?

Paul told the Philippians to do all things without grumbling or complaining. (Phil. 2:14) Why did he have to say "all"? There's not much leeway there - and absolutely no exceptions or disclaimers. But... the caregiver might argue - we have a lot to complain about:

• we gave up our lives for our loved ones...and we miss it!
• our helpers didn't show up today
• medical professionals are not listening to us
• we've called the doctor 3 times and they aren't returning our calls
• we're tired
• we're lonely
• family isn't helping us like they promised
• money is short
• our friends disappeared......

All things Paul said. Why? Why aren't we as caregivers exempt from this one? Because we are the picture of the humility of Christ. We are not running this race to gain a thing; but just to get to the end. When we face our Lord in the end we will know we did not run in vain. We are running for Him; and not for what we can get out of life. Ultimately we live, run, work, and caregive to look like Him.

Isn't looking like Him the goal of every Christian? Remember Paul said we are predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son. (Romans 8:29) We did not lose our religion when we became a caregiver and our goals as believers really didn't change. Our goal has always been to look like Him and to represent Him here on earth. The good news is that we can attain this goal!  The bad news is - it's really difficult and takes a lot of work on our part. 

Life may be not fair at times, but our goal of conforming to His image is fair. As believers we all have to do it. No matter what life throws at us, where we work, who we take care of, how rich or poor we are- ultimately our goal is to look like Him. No one is exempt and there are no exclusions. That's fair. God gave us an even playing field and it's the same for everyone. 

Today I will meditate on what it means to look like Him and what types of adjustments I might need to make in my attitude. My meditations will be on yielding to Him with my whole heart and letting Him shape me into His image. Will you join me?

Grace for the Journey

"Humble" is not a word many use to describe me! I'm rambunctious, loud, crazy and full of energy. (I run half marathons for fun on my "days off"! lol) Humility or the action of being humble has been misinterpreted. Moses wrote in Numbers 12:3 that Moses was very humble, more than any man on the face of the earth. But by our definition, writing about being humble is in direct contradiction to humility.

Humility really means knowing who you are. For the Christian it means knowing who we are in Christ and who God has called us to be; then just walking in it.

In Philippians the second chapter, Paul gives us a picture of Christ-like humility. A Christian, one who is Christ-like will:

• do nothing out of selfishness
• regard others more important than themselves
• not look out solely for their own interests

Paul goes on to say in verse 5 that these are the attributes of Christ. This just lets us know that as caregivers, we look like Him as we have discussed many times before. Verse 7 says that He emptied Himself and that he took the form of a servant in order to take the form of a man.These are the attributes of humility and I believe we see them demonstrated in the life of a caregiver as well.

For the most part, as caregivers we get nothing for our work. There is no pay, no compensation, and many times no help at all. But in James 4:6 the Bible says that He gives grace to the humble. Proverbs 3:34 states that He gives grace to the afflicted. He is going to give us the grace to make it through the trials and stresses of each day.

He is giving us the grace to be able to survive each day of caregiving. As we demonstrate Christ-like humility to our loved ones, and to the world who is looking in - He offers us grace to make it. Because we humbled ourselves and took on the form of a servant, we have grace to survive. Our lives have been lost in the giving of care for our loved ones. It is an act of humility to lay our life and self aside in order to serve someone else. In the process we paint a picture of Christ-like love for the world to see.

Today I am going to meditate on how Jesus gave Himself as an act of humility. As I serve my loved one today I will think about how I look like Him. I will consider how He gives grace for this journey and I will be thankful on purpose for His humility. Will you join me?

Making Plans

Making plans can be difficult when you are a caregiver. Whether you are taking your loved one out for the afternoon, on a longer trip or going out yourself and leaving a sitter with them, it's a lot of work. There can be so many things that have to be thought out and arranged. And then because there are so many unexpected things that can happen in the caregiving situation, plans can easily be thwarted. Having plans interrupted can be particularly frustrating, especially for those who are not able to get out much to begin with. But it happens all the time.

Philippians 1:6 is a reminder that God never has his plans interrupted. It simply states He who began a good work in you will complete it.  BC (before caregiving) I had dreams and actual plans of traveling internationally. I was headed to Africa in a few short months and had a heart to reach many nations. My plans were dropped when I received word my son was medi-flighted from the scene of an accident. For awhile it remained a source of confusion and anger actually. Why didn't I get to do what God put in my heart?  I worked through some very negative emotions to just be okay with the fact my dreams were not going to happen. My biggest questions came because I thought they were God-given dreams that were never going to happen.

As time went on I found ways to work online. I ended up teaching for three different international English schools and hung a world map over my computer so I could visually connect with where my students were located in the world. I have had students in China,the  Philippines, South Korea, Japan, Brazil, Russia, and Germany. My writing clients have also come from all over the world. I also connected with Christians in Pakistan and have actually taught classes at a school there on more than one occasion via Skype. I started putting pins in my world map to mark the nations I traveled to via the internet. One day I looked up and realized I've "been" a lot of places...the dream did come true -just not exactly the way I had planned for it to.

Caregiving and life in general do not change God's plans. He will do what He said and life can't change it. Of course my big question for Him is Is that all you had planned for my son? But his story is still reaching many lives and they are getting chances to hear his music and read his words so Chris' story is still out there. Even though he can't talk - people are hearing his voice and what his life said. My point? God still has a plan. He never looks up and says Wait. How did that happen. Or I didn't see that coming. He has a plan and it will happen. What He says still goes.

Today I will meditate on the truth that His plans for me were not interrupted by caregiving - they just look different. I will think about how God's plans are solid and done. I will rest today in the fact that I can rest in Him as He brings them to pass in my life; and in my son's life. I will not let the circumstances talk me out of believing everything God has said. I will meditate on His faithfulness today. Will you join me?