Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts
Showing posts with label attitude. Show all posts

A Few "Forevers" to Help You Rejoice

When writing to the Christians in Philippi, Paul reminded them to rejoice in the Lord. He must have really wanted to emphasize it because he said it twice in Phil. 4:4 - rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, rejoice. Many might think that as caregivers we do not have a lot to rejoice about or that we have a right to be sad or upset. After all, life "cheated" us. We really cannot afford to buy into that lie.

Sometimes I have to admit when someone who I think lives in an ivory castle so to speak tells me to rejoice or be thankful, I would like to just punch them. They don't understand real life. Many appear to live a highly protected life free from a lot of the struggles we have to face everyday. And it is true that they are not dealing with our situation. But even among caregivers each of our situations has very different features and circumstances. No two journeys are alike even though we are caregivers. It can be easy to compare ourselves among ourselves and see how we have an "easier" road or a more difficult road to walk. There are no easy roads in caregiving. But there are ways to rejoice in every situation.

Caregiving is tough period and it can seem that there is nothing to be thankful for and nothing to rejoice in. It's really a matter of attitude and choice. If we look hard enough and long enough we will find something to rejoice about. And we can find things to be thankful about every single day. It changes our perspective and helps us deal with our situation in a more positive light.

Our day can cloud up rather quickly and it can be difficult to see from a positive point of view. Caregivers do a lot and there is little or no reward. Sometimes finding things to be thankful for and rejoice about  comes easy - other times it is difficult to find anything to rejoice in. Here are a few forevers to rejoice in no matter what the day looks like:

  • His undending mercy
  • His unchanging unconditional love
  • His ever abiding presence
  • His careful watch over our souls
  • His unchanging truth
Finding something to rejoice about can effectively change our perspective even if we don't feel like it. It can change the outcome of the day.

Today I will meditate on the things about God that do not change. I will purposefully set my mind on the truth that He is with me, loves me and He gives me mercy and grace for the journey. I will trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Attitude Latitude

One thing that I have learned as a caregiver is how much attitude comes into play. I think it really helps to choose to have a positive attitude. But sometimes our latitude or position as an advocate makes it difficult on our attitude. We are many times in positions where it takes some true grit to endure and to get things done on behalf of our loved ones.

Many would say that because of our latitude we have a "right" to let some things get out of control. I have to admit that there are days when it's a very big struggle to try and keep my attitude in line with Christian values. There are many emotions accompanying the caregiving package. We do get angry sometimes, sad at other times and emotions can just be all over the place some days. There's a lot on our plate every single day. But our attitude has a lot to do with how we handle an overloaded plate.

Running on overload does not excuse poor decisions or bad behaviors. We are still accountable for every word we say and responsible for where our thoughts roam Our attitude has a lot to do with how we live our days. I can get really down and have battled depression as a caregiver (some say it's part of the package too), but overall I tend to try to keep a positive attitude. It makes the day go somewhat smoother.

Psalm 57 is a passage that has a special place in my heart as I discovered it when battling a mystery illness in 1986. It described my emotions to a T as I felt like I was being swallowed up by sickness. Those around me thought I was dying. During that struggle this psalm brought me great comfort.

It's the second part of the psalm that stands out to me now. David says I will several times depending on the version you are reading. These are attitudinal declarations; he said:

I will sing and give praise
I will wake early
I will praise You
I will sing to You

Many times I've said that as caregivers we live in the furnace. We are constantly in the fires of life and they don't often let up. And even though it seems like it would be fair for us to be exempt in some areas, our attitude is still our choice, and we can't let our latitude determine it for us.

Today I will turn my thoughts to praising Him for what He has done. I will purposefully delight myself in Him. I'm going to guard my mouth a little more closely and work a little harder at staying positive in the fight. My thoughts will be on His goodness rather than the situation; and my meditations of Him will be sweet. Will you join me?

The Peace of Integrity

I'm still reading Job and really enjoying it. One thing that is standing out in my mind is how his friends keep arguing that there is some sort of flaw in Job or he would not be in this terrible situation. I guess it stands out to me so much because I had people say these same types of things to me when I was very ill in 1986. (It's a long story I'll try to write somewhere else - but obviously I lived!) Job's "friends" attack his character each time they speak because they were trying to analyze it according to their own religious dogma. Yet all the way through Job maintains that he has not sinned to cause all the tragedy to come upon him. Isn't that among some of our first thoughts after a tragedy strikes and we try to settle into a new normal?

In Job 13:15 Job makes one of the most faith-filled statements that is contained in scriptures. He states that even if God slays him - he will still trust Him. Some versions say still hope in Him.  While this is a powerful viewpoint on life and Job is making the declaration that no matter what happens to him while journeying through life he will continue to trust and hope in God - the next statement is what caught my heart today.

In the last phrase of this verse, Job says Nevertheless, I will argue my ways before Him. He was not going to back down on the fact that he had integrity with himself and God. I think he trusted God enough to know that if he had done something wrong the Lord would have informed him of such.  David made a similar statement in Psalm 101:2  when he said I will live a life of integrity in my own home. How powerful is it to know that we have integrity with ourselves? Plus we know that we are pleasing Him in our actions.

I'll be the first to admit that I cannot say I am blameless...there are those days that I lose it. Aides don't show up, supplies are delayed, doctors do not return calls...I get frustrated. Don't we all? My peace is not found in my actions always being the purest...but in the fact that after I punch the punching bag a few times, run a couple of miles and mutter a couple of curse words...I do finally run to Him! And you know what? He's always right there - even when I am not "perfect"!

Today I will meditate on His ever abiding presence - even when I am frustrated. I will learn to turn to Him sooner when things get out of hand. And I will commit to having integrity in my own home.

Where do you put it?

Some days it seems we can have it all together. Everything is going along good, emotions are intact, and the day overall just isn't bad. And then outta nowhere....someone says something about faith that makes it sound like you don't have any since you are in adverse circumstances. Is it just me, or does it happen to you too? I'm beginning to think that faith is a little like courage; if there isn't some challenge to address it doesn't really count.  

When the statement occurred I was flooded with questions and hopelessness tried to swallow me up. Because if it all relies on me - what I believe - what I say - what I can change with my attitude - then what is my faith in: myself. True faith believes period. The fact that we are still clinging on to Him even when everything around us does not seem to make any sense at all, or doesn't seem to be changing at all is the deepest faith - not the lack of faith. I must say that I do not have any confidence in myself - I cannot change my circumstances. I can only change my attitude in them.

Joseph could have confessed and recited his dreams all he wanted in that unjust prison cell...but until it was God's time...nothing was going to happen. What Joseph did have to guard was his heart. He had to keep his heart and trust in God in the midst of the circumstance. Job could have quoted every healing scripture there was...but until it was God's time...nothing changed. Abraham could not make Isaac (the promise) arrive any sooner - he tried, remember? He ended up with an Ishmael.

These are some of our faith heroes...faith did not change their circumstances nor was it measured by them! Do no measure your faith by your circumstances!!! Are you still clinging to Him? Do you still trust Him? Are you still waiting on Him? ...that's faith.

In Everything Give Thanks

This scripture is found in 1 Thessalonians5:18, someone through it out as a cliche this week so I looked it up. And can I be totally honest and say I really do not want to? And I really just can't. I cannot thank Him for the wreck my son was in that has left him impaired. I honestly, just can't do it. And the worse part is I don't care that I can't do it!

 But the other side of that is I don't think He requires me to give thanks for the injury, the damage or my son's condition that thrust me into caregiving. However, I do believe that there is a silent power that arises when we purposefully find things to be thankful for rather than gripe about. It's an attitude of thanksgiving that He's looking for...because to literally thank Him for the horrible things in life would (for me) be a lie. And I think He looks more toward an honest heart than for one who is lying just trying to make HIm happy. I really think our honesty with Him is a way to display our trust.

 Did you ever see the old classic movie Pollyanna? I am actually old enough that I read the book first! lol! Although it was just a story, this child made a conscious decision to play the glad game. And no matter what was terrible around her she found something to be glad about. I think we can make that kind of attitudinal adjustment even in our adverse situations.

 We are stressed, we're tired, we're strained...but we can make that conscious decision to thank Him for something. I am finding that to be thankful helps my whole outlook. The day is not as dreary when I go through it thanking Him for things rather than fussing about all that went wrong! So today - Thank Him!! (for something!!)

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...