Showing posts with label thankfulness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thankfulness. Show all posts

And Then it Happens....

I'm not even going to apologize for my absence. I hope you understand when I don't have it together, I just can't post. The last week or two have been extremely trying. It's really just the emotional part. Maybe you have those times when it seems like God is answering everyone else's prayers but not yours. Those times when it looks like everyone is getting a miracle... but you. Sometimes I look around and think it seems as if all the people I know are getting new cars, nice houses, large chunks of cash, getting to go to the mission field like I'd always dreamed. For me, my emotional crash usually comes when other brain injury victims make lots of progress and Chris does not.

Don't get me wrong, I am very happy for them. I'm glad they got all the things we were denied like therapy, castings, and intense, specialized care. But it can start to feel like God has forsaken. I ask questions like why my son? Why did God take his voice, his song? And I don't understand. Honestly, I don't ever want anyone else to go through these things - but I start to take it personally, and it just goes downhill from there. Emotionally that is.

And then it happens....


I'm minding my own business, wallowing in my own emotions and trying to find a way to come up for air. Or, I'm just letting go and wondering if I'll ever swim again, if anyone will come in after me. And He steps in....

Sometimes just the right phrase will get my attention, or the perfect song comes on the radio. Or like yesterday, out of nowhere, this scripture pops into my head. I was minding my own business and from nowhere it seemed, I just hear an old chorus we used to sing in church - taken from Proverbs 18:10.

The name of the Lord is a strong tower
The righteous run to it and are safe.

And that was all it took. My emotions leveled back out to the chaotic normals of caregiving. lol. I hummed and sang it all around the house. Shortly, I was thanking Him for being there in the midst of the storm instead of cursing Him for it. I was okay. For then. It was like we'd had a lover's spat and He was wooing me back to Him. I'm in constant awe at the massive effort He puts into chasing me, calming me and comforting me. 

Today, I will meditate on how He is that strong tower of refuge from the storm, from the battle. I will turn my thoughts to His faithfulness even through my foolishness. I'll purposefully find things to be grateful for today in the midst of life's storm. And I will make sure I stay in His embrace trusting Him just for today. Will you join me?

A Few "Forevers" to Help You Rejoice

When writing to the Christians in Philippi, Paul reminded them to rejoice in the Lord. He must have really wanted to emphasize it because he said it twice in Phil. 4:4 - rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say, rejoice. Many might think that as caregivers we do not have a lot to rejoice about or that we have a right to be sad or upset. After all, life "cheated" us. We really cannot afford to buy into that lie.

Sometimes I have to admit when someone who I think lives in an ivory castle so to speak tells me to rejoice or be thankful, I would like to just punch them. They don't understand real life. Many appear to live a highly protected life free from a lot of the struggles we have to face everyday. And it is true that they are not dealing with our situation. But even among caregivers each of our situations has very different features and circumstances. No two journeys are alike even though we are caregivers. It can be easy to compare ourselves among ourselves and see how we have an "easier" road or a more difficult road to walk. There are no easy roads in caregiving. But there are ways to rejoice in every situation.

Caregiving is tough period and it can seem that there is nothing to be thankful for and nothing to rejoice in. It's really a matter of attitude and choice. If we look hard enough and long enough we will find something to rejoice about. And we can find things to be thankful about every single day. It changes our perspective and helps us deal with our situation in a more positive light.

Our day can cloud up rather quickly and it can be difficult to see from a positive point of view. Caregivers do a lot and there is little or no reward. Sometimes finding things to be thankful for and rejoice about  comes easy - other times it is difficult to find anything to rejoice in. Here are a few forevers to rejoice in no matter what the day looks like:

  • His undending mercy
  • His unchanging unconditional love
  • His ever abiding presence
  • His careful watch over our souls
  • His unchanging truth
Finding something to rejoice about can effectively change our perspective even if we don't feel like it. It can change the outcome of the day.

Today I will meditate on the things about God that do not change. I will purposefully set my mind on the truth that He is with me, loves me and He gives me mercy and grace for the journey. I will trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Quick Change of Clothes

I don't know about you but lately my days seem overly busy and downright crazy at times. It can be so easy to get carried away in the details of caring for another. And try making one simple change to something as basic as a meal plan, changing a supply order or going with a new company for an aide and a snowball effect of crazy events can begin. There's a reason we can feel like we have too many irons in the fire. We do. But they are all necessary in order to take care of ourselves and our loved ones.

Caregivers have days where we are just tired. It does not change the long list of chores we have to accomplish for the day, but we can be tired before we even begin.

It can be easy to get caught up in the world of caregiving and forget about ourselves. We sort of wear this caregiver's mantle because we need to. We can be that take-charge-kind-of-person it takes to get things done. Who else is going to do it, right?

This morning when I arose I thought about how tired I was before the day even got started. In my daily devotions, I found myself in Isaiah 61. There were several phrases that caught my eye today.

comfort all who mourn
giving a garland instead of ashes
oil of gladness instead of mourning
mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting

I paused and thought about just these phrases in the first three verses. Honestly, I wondered if I could have some insteads. Garlands, gladness and praise sounds good to me! My thoughts sort of landed on that last one, a mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. 

We are the same person we were before we became a caregiver; but it's important to remember that before we are a caregiver, we are a child of God. Today, I decided to take off my caregiver mantle for a little bit and put on a mantle of praise.

It's as easy as it is difficult to praise God. If you don't know where or how to begin, just think about the things He's done and tell Him "good job!" Even in our crazy lives there is something to be thankful for - I like to start there. Just take a moment or two to express your thanks to Him. It will change your perspective and lighten your heart.

Today I will meditate on Him and His great works in my life and in the lives of others. I will intentionally find ways to praise and thank God. My thoughts will be on His greatness rather than my weakness. I will imagine I have on a mantle of praise today. Will you join me?

Any Given Day

For the caregiver we never know what types of situations may be presented to us, on any given day. But then of course, our regular day is filled with all sorts of stuff too. There are so many things that must be done in the course of a day that each day is already full. But then there are those times when any little thing can set the day on a totally different trek!

 It might be a delayed delivery, a cancelled doctor's appointment, an aide who did not show up, or any number of seemingly small or large difficulties that arise. Quite honestly, our days are difficult enough to handle physically, emotionally and even spiritually without any kind of unpleasant surprises. One thing I am finally learning is to not stress over the things that I cannot change. It's a difficult thing for me too - trust me.

 But as I was reading along the other morning I happened across a scripture that I use to quote a lot - especially in my youth pastoring days. It's Philippians 2:14 and is simply states: Do all things without grumbling and disputing. I did a reassessment of my previous two or three days and realized I was not doing too well in this department...it can be so easy to find things to complain about, can't it? But Paul says to do all things without it...all. He didn't say anything like, everyone except caregivers do your work without complaining... did he? No exclusionary statements whatsoever. (Does that seem fair to you?) lol...

 The way I am working to change this in my own world is that when something comes up that is certain to set me off - instead of complaining about it - I do a little Pollyanna thing. I find something in the situation to be thankful for. I also find a way around it. For instance if the expected delivery did not show up (like the thickened beverages I ordered) I figure out my best way to handle it and then I remember how thankful that I am that my son actually needs them now - because there was a time they were not needed. As I focus on his progress and how God has been providing - the problem becomes much smaller indeed! Then if I can find another way to manage the situation, good! But if there is no other way - why stress about something you cannot change? And complaining will not make it happen - why bother?

 So today - if something presents itself and is truly worthy of complaining about - find a way to be thankful instead. It will actually help the load seem lighter.

Just Like Everyone Else

The life of a caregiver is certainly not an easy one! Yet I am sure that there are far worse circumstances to have to deal with. But this can be a lonely and painful walk. Each day can present various situations that must be overcome; obstacles that seem insurmountable.But we are still breathing; and we are still caregiving - so we must still be learning to trust in Him to take us one more day! Challenging pretty much sums up our lives, doesn't it? lol!

 I have found that just because my life is lived in a cave of adversity, it does not exempt me from the requirements laid out in the Word. So far I have not found one time when there was a command given and special stipulations were given for caregivers; or any other sufferers for that matter. (but I am still looking! lol!) Jesus did not say give to those who ask and do not turn away from those who want to borrow - unless you are a caregiver in which case you don't have to worry about it! It does not read like that anywhere! We still have the same solid word, the same constant commands to follow as everyone else. But this is good - because it also means that we have His peace, comfort and joy accessible to us - just like everyone else!

 So when I read this scripture in Philipians this morning I knew that we do not get a "break" just because we are caregivers: In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing so that no one can speak a word of blame against you. You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of crooked and perverse people. (Philippians 2:14) We do not get an exception on this command even though we live in adversity!

 If we are not careful (maybe I should just say if I am not careful) it is easy to complain about many things. We have lost many things in life that brought us to the journey of caregiving. It is so very important to train our minds to find the things to be thankful for each day. So today instead of letting the situation get us down - let us turn our focus onto the way He has provided for us in the situation. Let us concentrate and meditate on His peace, His love and His care for us even in the midst of life's ongoing storm.

Choose Your Attitude

As caregivers we are all in situations that do not match our dreams. Where we are today most likely was not in the plan when we were setting our life goals. Yet, we are here. Now we must deal with each day as it is given to us; and choose to make the best of it.

 Today is Thanksgiving Day. And while I could go through the list of things I wish were different, I will choose to concentrate on the things I am thankful for. I have found this practice helps me through many days. It is amazing once I start purposefully finding things to be thankful for, how my whole perspective can change. In a matter of minutes I am no longer being swept down some deep, dark emotional river. Instead I find myself taking a deep breath of air. Sometimes it's simply to remind myself that I am indeed still alive!

 But as I choose to turn my heart to one of thankfulness I find that many of my deepest concerns are carried away, perhaps in the river of doubt that wanted to wash me away!

 So today I am thankful for many things and I will choose to concentrate on those. In Psalms 10:4 the psalmist said:Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name. One translation states the first part as: bring a thank offering before Him. Let us as caregivers do this today. Bring your thank offering - yourself before Him today and purposefully choose to find things to be thankful for. As you search for thankfulness to bring to Him as an offering...your whole perspective and attitude will change!

 Let Us give thanks...

Don't Weep For Me

No one would argue with the fact that the life of a caregiver is difficult. There's just so many responsibilities on top of the normal ones like cooking, cleaning...and breathing! It takes a sort of a mastermind to get it all done in a day sometimes...don't you agree? (okay - at least organization and willpower!)

 Although none of us would ever chose to walk this way if some sort of tragedy had not happened, there are some things I think we have all learned along the troubled path. Even in the daily turmoil, there's a calm understanding of God as our refuge...as our strength...our comforter...our source...our peace...our love. These are things we might not have been able to take the time to find out before in our (what we thought were) busy lives!

 Joel 3:16b says the Lord is a refuge for His people, and a stronghold for the children of Israel. I only thought I knew of His safety before; and I would have never know what a strong refuge He is --before. And although I am (honestly) not thankful that my son had an accident; I am so very thankful to know God in a more intimate way.

 So don't weep for me...each day this terrible trial presses forward tearing away at what I thought I had left of my life...I draw closer to HIm. I learn more about His ways...I know Him better. In these types of situations it is imperative that we find the positives and major on those. Other wise we can be sucked into the great vacuum of depression. Today think about how you know Him better than you did yesterday. Think about the level of trust you have in Him now - how much you trust Him as the refuge for your soul.

 Don't weep for me...weep for those who do not know Him as their refuge. Weep for those who do not know that they can run to Him and be safe. (Prov 18:10) Take time to rest in Him today and thank Him for being there in your deepest trail and darkest days. Then live in the light of today!

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...