Daily Devotions for Caregivers

Ah, the end of another year. How can time go so fast and so slow at the same time? It feels both ways most of the time, doesn’t it? While we are doing our day-to-days it can seem so slow. But then you look up and realize another week is gone, and soon another month and here we are on the brink of a brand new year. One of the things I have difficulty with is setting goals for a new year. I know we are all supposed to have New Year’s resolutions. But as caregivers, it can be difficult to plan a simple outing sometimes. Even then, one of us may be sick, or something goes wrong with a vehicle or any number of other things. For me, I never know when the doctor is coming until the day before and it’s the same with nurses and case managers. It’s hard to plan anything out very far at all. Maybe I’ll read more books this year – maybe I won’t. I definitely want to eat better and get in better shape physically. But it seems like there is obstacle after obstacle. So, no resolutions for me

At the end of each year, I usually spend some time in reflection. Even though I'm in a "down" patch emotionally right now, this year has had a lot of ups. I try to focus on those more than the downs, especially the ones that are right in my face. My goal for the coming year is to take the bigger plusses from this year and make them even larger positives next year. As caregivers, it can be so difficult to feel like we accomplish anything. We tend to do the same things over and over. There is endless laundry, dishes, preparing meals, feeding, and more that simply have to happen every single day. Then on top of those things we have doctor's appointments, urgent care needs, or any sundry of other things we have to deal with when taking care of another whole person and all their affairs. Even though working through all the day-to-days is quite the accomplishment and we do it day after day, it can feel  like we don't get anything at all done. If we are not careful

Just because something is safe doesn’t mean it can’t look good, too. When you’re looking to create a stylish space for a senior, or a family caring for an older adult with memory impairments, you must consider their abilities as well as the people around them in your plan. Here are a few tips on how to get it done. Cater to their wants with modified amenities During your initial consultation, determine what the people in the home prioritize. Does the senior enjoy cooking or gardening ? Is he or she more interested in reading or watching television? Once you know the senior’s interests, you’ll have a better idea about what will lend best to his or her quality of life. You might, for instance, design a wheelchair-accessible indoor garden or outfit the kitchen with a microwave oven that is easy to use with knobs instead of push buttons. Go high tech Computers and electronics aren’t just for gaming teens or busy executives. Today’s technology can be integrated in a

Yesterday, I had an incident with one of my clients. At first, it seemed huge and I was angry, refusing to discuss the situation until I could simmer down. Even afterwards, I was silently fuming thinking I'd just let the client go and work for others who are more appreciative of my writing skills. lol This morning, I went for a swim at the fitness center and it allowed me plenty of time to think. There's no music, no technology, no nothing - so it's quiet with just the sound of the water lapping at the sides of the pool. Back and forth I go and for a while, my head is swimming around in thoughts too. As I was praying about how to handle the situation properly, I kind of heard this thought as I asked myself how can I use this situation to become a better writer? And it reminded me that adversity doesn't have to destroy us - it can make us better and stronger. The decisions we make in those instances either make us or break us. My mind then jumped to when my son f

Sometimes, I am not sure what to do with such a wide range of emotions that are associated with caregiving. There is daily grief over what was, the shaded future, and what could have been. There's a sense of loss that is different for each caregiver. For me, it's the loss of my son although his body is still here. I also feel the loss of relationship with him and the future we were supposed to share as he matured, married and began a career and family. With my mom, it's a different loss due to her dementia. There is the loss of the relationship, as well as the loss of her memories of all the things we shared over the years. The grief, losses, and social isolation can chip away at my heart and soul as I fade into quietness. As believers, how do we deal with these things? Where is that line of faith? We know all too well that there are no "Christmas Miracles" in real life. Not for us anyway. But that's a lot to carry, isn't it? It can be so difficult to

Nothing is easy about caregiving, in my opinion. Some days are overall easier than others, maybe. And eventually we tend to adjust to a new normal , don’t we? For me, it’s taken some time to get into a groove and stay there. That’s actually how I adjust to many of the daily responsibilities. When I need to add something new, I find a spot for it in what I am already doing and once I fit it into my “groove” it becomes a new norm too. As caregivers, we have so much on our plate it can be hard to juggle it all. And it’s not just a hectic spot – it’s every single day   - day after day. It can be easy to lose sight of life itself. Most caregivers I’ve had a chance to cyber-chat with get frustrated with people who tell them they need to take care of themselves or they need to take a break – but offer no real solution for how to do so. Not to mention how friends seem to vanish over time and social isolation becomes a real deal that gnaws away at our very existence. But alas, we adjust

This weekend I paid for a sitter so I could get out in nature a bit. I’ve heard the saying that you go into the woods to find your soul. There is definitely something healing about a nice walk in nature. Well, this wasn’t really a walk, there was a LOT of rock climbing. But it was good for my soul and my body. I think hiking is good because it gets your mind totally off caregiving, work, and life. For a few hours you’ve got to focus on where you are, where you are going and not getting lost! It takes every bit of you and demands you be “all in” for a little while. But while you are immersed in a nice hike and enjoying the fresh air – it really does bring a cleansing to the soul. As I got to this one area with beautiful rock formations and interesting plant life even here in early winter, I paused. I looked around at the beauty of nature and I realized the load of life had been lifted off my shoulders. Nature had done its job. I said, “thank you” out loud. Then began to thank G

Yesterday as I was driving up to see my mom in the nursing home, I spent some time praying. It was one of those times where I felt like I just upended my heart and dumped it all out at the foot of His throne. I handed Him all my pain and confusion, some with words – some without. As I was pouring my heart out before Him I began to get some answers. They just started popping up in my mind. As I drove, I asked for wisdom. Then I asked for peace. When I asked for peace, I had this question come up in my head. Where’d you put it? It struck me a bit funny, but I let my heart and mind pursue it. Where’d I put what?   Peace. That’s what I was praying for, right? Then the scripture came to mind – in John 14:27, Jesus told His disciples, Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. In that moment, it seemed as though He was asking me a question. And of course, we know God doesn’t ask questions just for the sake of gath

I’ve just come out of a few very rough days. I know you fellow caregivers (and some who are not) really do understand. It can seem like everything is rocking along smoothly when all of a sudden, BAM! Everything falls apart all at once. Our loved one is sick or facing new challenges, supplies don’t come, aids don’t show up or don’t work – whichever, right? For each of our unique situations, there are any number of crazy things that can happen in a day to make our already weird lives even more abnormal. Lol. Even our easiest days are more difficult than other hardest days, you know? That’s not a complaint at all, just the way it is whether you are an LD caregiver or a full-time in the home caregiver. This last week was a double whammy for me. First, my son was sick (I’m thinking COPD instead of asthma – but haven’t got that confirmed yet.) Then in the middle of it all I get a call about a situation with my aunt. It turned out to not be too serious – but it was a LOT for a day. I

Life is filled with the unexpected. No one knows this more than a caregiver, right? We literally never know what a day may bring. Our loved one may become ill, have a fall, or any number of things. Of course, the unexpected isn’t always negative either. Someone may send a gift that brightens your day. Or a stranger speaks kindly to you and your loved one. You just never know. The Bible has lots of unexpected things too. One thing I was reading about this morning was the birth of Jesus. When Simeon saw baby Jesus, he began to proclaim and prophesy. This phrase in Luke 2:32 stood out to me today: A light to bring revelation to the Gentiles. The Gentiles? We were in God’s plan all along even though the Jews found it so surprising. Remember Isaiah 60? We know the first verse well and used to sing it back in the ‘70s when we thought it was cool to just sing the Word. The first part says Arise, shine; for your light has come! And the glory of the Lord is risen upon you! But t

This word “wait” is an interesting term. It has two meanings. On one hand, it can mean to wait until something happens. It happens when something is supposed to occur – and you have to be patient as you wait for it to happen. We wait on someone to show up at an event. We may wait for a movie to start. I wait for my coffee to make each morning. 😊 The other way to use the word, “wait” is to serve. We like to tip a good waiter when they serve us well at a restaurant. The doorman waits on us as he serves us by taking our coats. The valet serves us by parking our car. So when we say we are waiting on God which one are we talking about? These crazy thoughts started as I was reading in Isaiah 49 this morning. I had actually started in Psalm 31 as I’m working on a new devotional to come out soon. My meditations were on not being ashamed to trust God. A series of short searches and I landed in Isaiah 49:23. The very last part of that verse in the New American Standard Bible says

Have you ever wondered who would find your tear-stained pillowcases? Odd question, I know. But after a very emotional day yesterday I found myself crying into my pillowcase last night. This is extremely odd for me as I rarely cry at all. I tease and say my “eyes sweat” occasionally. But I am certainly not a crier. Yesterday seemed different. The load got heavier – I know you as a caregiver understand! We carry so much every single day, how in the world could it get worse? But we all know – it can and it does from time to time. It doesn’t usually take too much to be “more overwhelmed” than being overwhelmed. Lol As I buried my face in my pillow last night and let my heart cry out without words to God, I found a bit of peace. I became thankful that He was still right here with me, even after the blows the day had brought. I became grateful to have a safe place to take my heart without fear of condemnation. Then this morning, I got up early to get my head on straight before

As a caregiver, you want to help your loved one feel as independent as possible. Living independently with a visual impairment is not just possible, but it’s well within reach. If you’re planning on updating your current home to make it safer and more comfortable for your loved one, you don’t have to spend a ton of money. Simple modifications can make your home safer and more convenient. By knowing how to design, illuminate, and organize your house, you’re taking the first step in helping your loved one live comfortably with a visual impairment. Keep in mind that while some of these projects are DIY, you may need to hire some help for bigger jobs, especially those that require electrical work. Rethink your lighting and contrast Making changes to the lighting in your home is not only inexpensive, but it’s probably the best thing you can do to make living with a visual impairment a little easier. For the most part, it’s advisable to increase the amount of light i

As I was reading this morning I came across a phrase that caught my eye. I picked up my Bible and just started reading where it opened. It just happened to be in Psalm 33. The subtitle had grabbed my attention as it says The sovereignty of the Lord in Creation and History. I’ve been looking at different passages about creation as I find it fascinating. But when I got down to verses 13-15, I paused. Then, I read it over about four times. Then, I looked it up in several different versions. Guess what. They all say about the same thing. So, I looked it up in the Strong’s and Lexicon. The word “fashioned” as I assumed means God shaped our hearts. He was involved in the creation, folding, and molding of each individual heart. And the heart, of course, is not representative of our physical blood-pumping heart. It’s our spirit-soul man. The part of us that makes us an individual. The part of us that is the alive part. I found this all fascinating. Psalm 33:13-15 says this: Th

I think I’ve shared that I’ve been studying the armor in Ephesians 6. If not, guess what! I’ve been studying the armor in Ephesians 6! It’s funny to me how we can read something over and over and then one day it seems to just open up and make sense. I have read, studied, and memorized this passage, but in the reading this time several things stood out that I hadn’t noticed quite this way before. Hopefully, I can get it all out of my heart and mind and into a study guide or devotional – not sure which one yet. So, this one little phrase really stuck out to me this time. Paul tells the church at Ephesus to put on all the armor so they can stand. He mentions standing a couple of times throughout – when you’ve done all… just stand. Do you have days like that? I know I do. Days when caregiving is just overwhelming and we’re at the end of our own proverbial rope are frequent it seems. But here we are – still standing. And thankful to God for perseverance, strength, peace and His pre

Today I decided to share a song that I wrote. I know I’m not a really good singer- but I hope you can hear past it to God’s message to you. This was written after I’d stayed day and night in the hospital with my son for over three months. It would be about two more weeks before we would transfer to a nursing home. Needless to say, my heart was broken. Shattered into pieces and I wanted to run..but God gave me this song as a way of reassuring me that He was with me through the long, dark nights. And that His heart was indeed still beating for me. My hardest task then was to fight my way through the emotions I was feeling and find rest in Him. Will you join me on a journey to Father’s heart? Here’s Beating for You:

In my studies this morning, I found myself in Proverbs 4. I'm actually studying the armor of God and I chased some thoughts that led me to the last few verses of this chapter. I wrote down some notes on my other study but then my mind settled in verse 13. The New Living Translation states it this way: Above all else, guard your heart, for it affects everything you do. I can only feel my situation - and my first thought was - protect your broken heart.  I wondered if it was any different for caregivers than others. Probably not, really. We still need to guard our hearts and perhaps we need to be a bit more diligent about it than others. For me personally, the first two things that came to mind that I must protect from taking root in my heart was bitterness and unforgiveness. When my son first had the accident I began to pray that I would not grow bitter as things progressed along lines I really didn't want them to go. You know? One of my first prayers was that I would move

I didn't get past the olive tree - and the oil that comes when the crucible of life presses us in yesterday's devotion. But I did spend just about as much time in the final verse of Psalm 52 as I did in verse 8. In verse 9, the phrase that captured my attention is this: I will wait for your mercies.  I thought about that for a while. What's it like to wait - for His mercies? I immediately thought about the scripture that says, His mercies are new every morning. The funny thing to me about that is that there is no "morning" to God- it's always today. The sun doesn't set - there's no darkness in Him. So I looked up the scripture. Of course, it's in Lamentations 3:22-23. The New Living Translation worded it this way: the unfailing love of the Lord never ends! By His mercies,  we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is His faithfulness; His mercies begin afresh each day.  There's a lot to think about in these two verses. I alread

The last few mornings in my study time, I've been hanging out in Psalms 50 to about 55. I just keep reading them over and over because there's so much in them. This morning, I was reading in the New Living Translation. I read Psalm 52 over and over. David had been betrayed by Doeg the Edomite, so he had some not-so-nice words for him at the first of the psalm. As caregivers, we can be betrayed by friends - and even family we were counting on for support. Sometimes, it can feel like life itself has betrayed us and left us to deal with the un-normal lifestyle  of caregiving. We've all experienced betrayal on some level. Just like David, we get frustrated, hurt, even angry. Our faith doesn't keep these things from happening- it just helps us navigate through them easier.... mostly. :-) I'd like to focus on the end of the psalm today, though. The last two verses hold some solid truths we can embrace. In verse eight, David states But I am like a green olive tree th

There is a lot going on - but what caregiver do you know who doesn't  have a lot going on? lol. Every day is full, just some are fuller than others. But let me say this - my days are full, but it's not all bad. It's not all hard. It's not all insurmountable and all  the odds are not  stacked against us. Most of them are, but not all. (smile!) If you've read any of my blogs at all, you know my thoughts are 900 a minute, or more. If you are new to my writings and musings, you'll get used to it eventually. As usual, my thoughts are full.I love the verse in Psalm 94:19. The KJV translates it as in the multitude of thoughts within me, thy comforts delight my soul. The NASB says When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul. Some versions use the term worry, cares of my heart, and even doubt. I don't really care what we call it - whatever name we want to give to it His comfort is still our delight. He is still our joy. And I wi

I have always loved the psalms. Most people find them comforting. On one hand, I do too. But that's not what draws me back again and again. I like the raw emotions, the honesty and the accuracy of them. Yesterday, I was reading Psalm 55. David says in verse 2 that he is restless  and he moans noisily . Later in verse 4, he says his heart is severely pained . I so appreciate his candid approach to his feelings and emotions. I too have felt all of these. Sometimes the cares of caregiving seem to press in on all sides. David describes so many of these feelings like being pressed, fear and trembling, and being overwhelmed. In the church circles I used to run with these honest feelings had no room for expression and yet here they are mentioned in the Bible by none other than David, the man after God's own heart.  Emotions and feelings must not be outlawed by God. He can embrace us in such a precious way when we are being crushed in teh crucible of life. The reason I was in Psa

The last couple of weeks have been an emotional journey for me. I'll spare you the details (you're welcome!), but suffice it to say I've had more on top of more emotionally charging situations to work through. As if caregiving wasn't a rough enough journey on the emotions as it is, right? What I have learned though, is that if I look - I can find beauty. Sometimes it's in the oddest places. Like this beautiful yellow flower. It's in the backyard where I stay. I'm sure most would label it a weed, and it'll soon be dug up and tossed out. Which is really sad because if my research is correct,  it's a type of thistle with a plethora of health benefits. But it's often labeled a weed. Of course, the flower is what caught my eye, but as I looked further I saw all the thorns. If we look for it, we can find beauty among the thorns. Isn't it too easy to get distracted by the thorns and forget all about the beautiful flower that's unfolded bef

This morning I took some time to pour my heart out in my journal. My heart has been heavy for some time now. There are many things going on - but I'll spare you the details. (You're welcome!) If you haven't tried journaling, it can be a good strategy for stress relief. It's a safe place to let it all hang out!  I had stopped for a while but this year I have picked it back up. Let me just say that I put more than my woes in my journal. I usually end with a prayer - or I write what God is showing me, what I am learning - and all those deep philosophical questions that rarely have answers. It's a polite catch-all for my sundry, sometimes crazy thoughts. As I finished up the entry this morning, I ended with a couple of statements which became the first two lines of this poem: Lord, hold me and hide me Let me know You are beside me As life's turbulent tides Roll over and over me -  Comfort me - pull me close and help me see There's more to life

Sorry for the long absence. These hospital stays wear on me these days and take me longer to recover both emotionally and physically. I'm almost rested back up to the caregiver's normal!   lol. I'm still working on getting my little bookstore up online and last night I finished up another small study guide. I thought I would read back through some of the scriptures as I typed it all up. That is why this morning, I opened my Bible to Romans 5. This particular Bible study guide is called the Garden Connection .   It ties the fall and redemption together so we get a big picture of what the fall of Adam and Eve did to mankind. But then it ties it in with the New Testament and the impact of what Christ did, and how he reversed the chain reaction set in motion in the garden. Anyway, I opened Romans 5 this morning for a reread. I'm looking for the garden connection and the work of Christ but found myself stuck in the first few verses. Paul says, T herefore, being ju