Tear-Stained Pillow Cases

Have you ever wondered who would find your tear-stained pillowcases? Odd question, I know. But after a very emotional day yesterday I found myself crying into my pillowcase last night. This is extremely odd for me as I rarely cry at all. I tease and say my “eyes sweat” occasionally. But I am certainly not a crier. Yesterday seemed different. The load got heavier – I know you as a caregiver understand! We carry so much every single day, how in the world could it get worse? But we all know – it can and it does from time to time. It doesn’t usually take too much to be “more overwhelmed” than being overwhelmed. Lol

As I buried my face in my pillow last night and let my heart cry out without words to God, I found a bit of peace. I became thankful that He was still right here with me, even after the blows the day had brought. I became grateful to have a safe place to take my heart without fear of condemnation.

Then this morning, I got up early to get my head on straight before another sure-to-be long day. I found myself in 1 Peter 3 – and I have no idea how I got there! Lol. But I found the words comforting. Maybe you will too. Verses 10 through 12 are taken partially from Psalm 34. But it was 1 Peter 3:12a that stood out to me. It says this: For the eyes of the Lord are on the righteous, and His ears are open to their prayers. (NASB)

I thought about that for quite a little bit. I know I am one of the righteous because 1 Corinthians 1:30 says He became for us wisdom from God, and righteousness and sanctification and redemption. (NASB) Our righteousness as a caregiver is not in question. It was not compromised when we became a caregiver. In fact – it is still intact. (Another thing to be thankful for today!) So, His eyes are on me – on you – because we are the righteous. And His ears are open (as opposed to closed) to our prayers. I find that comforting this morning.

Today, instead of concentrating on all the difficult spots around me, I will choose to be thankful. I’ll purposefully thank Him for being my righteousness. There’s certainly no way I could be righteous on my own! My meditations will be on how He hears me – and didn’t turn down the volume when I started caregiving! I’ll be grateful that He didn’t send me on this journey alone – but He chose to walk it with me. And with that – I’ll trust Him for one more day – will you join me?