Daily Devotions for Caregivers

This morning as promised, I stayed in Mark 4. I've been thinking about what I read a lot since yesterday's devotional. I am wondering if caregiving isn't its own little world. And of course each caregiver and their situation is another unique world. Think about the caregivers you know and their situation has its own definitive circumstances. No two situations are exactly alike. One one hand, we're quick to compare and contrast our situations with others. Yet on the other hand, there's no way to compare what each of us go through with another. We each deal with our own storm the best we can. The cool thing is that God's word doesn't change to match our situation - but it is applicable for each of us. The first 24 verses of Mark 4 contains teachings of Jesus. He was discussing and describing the Kingdom of God. He talked about a farmer planting seed on different types of soil and how the seed (the message) responded in those situations. Then in verse 26

Other than the social isolation of caregiving, I think the wrestling with depression is one of the most difficult things I deal with. I can be fine, having a good day and some memory or small challenge can spark a deluge of emotions that send me off into la-la land. It doesn't take much, honestly. I'd like to say I'm alone in these emotional roller coaster rides, but from what reading I have done, it's common for the caregiver. Over the last few weeks, the struggle has been so real as I'm sure it is for many. This morning I found myself trying once again to pull myself out of the caregiver's fog. I was actually thinking about storms and how natural storms pass. Caregiving does not. And for my situation I'm looking at a life that looks just like this for the rest of my life. It does get to me from time to time. So, I went to the Word looking for the story of Jesus and His disciples facing the storm in the boat. I found it in Mark chapter 4. But the para

The other night, I was headed to taekwondo and glanced over in time to see the sun rays escaping through the clouds. I thought of how dark the clouds had become, how close to earth and how just a tiny little break allowed sunlight to flow through and reach my line of sight. The sun is never gone, we just don't always see it. On a cloudy day, we don't really forget about the sun, we don't consider that it might be burnt out or displaced. We have an understanding that it is right where it's supposed to be but we can't see it. I think sometimes for the caregiver, life can cloud our way and we can't see, feel or experience God like we'd like to. There are some days between caregiving and working online I barely have time to breathe. But our God is always right here with us -whether we see Him, feel Him, know Him or not. And He is anxiously waiting for us to turn to Him. He's sort of like the sun - hiding behind the clouds waiting for just a slight brea

This morning I continued reading in Isaiah 61 and there are several things that keep leaping off the page and into my heart. Just for the record, I needed that right about now. This passage is very familiar to us church-goers and we recognize it as the same passage that Jesus read when He first stood in the temple. It's easy for us to visualize Jesus saying The Spirit of the Lord is upon Me because He has anointed me to proclaim the good news. But it becomes difficult for us to read it for ourselves. I think that difficulty is magnified even more as caregivers. Sometimes we can be made to feel as though we don't play a significant role in society. I know for me, at least at first, I felt like more of a drain on society, definitely not a benefit. We become absorbed into caregiving - we have  to. This can make it hard to see beyond our little box. How can we influence a generation?   How can we proclaim the Kingdom of God? How can we share the good news? We demonstrate it.

Change is inevitable, whether you are a caregiver or not, it's just a part of life. But for the caregiver, change can be the only constant in our lives. Even though every day can seem like we do the same things over and over again, there's always a new wrench or kink thrown in to disrupt, it seems. Frequently (sometimes daily) I have to stop, take a deep breath, and get a grip before proceeding to make a move or decision of some kind. This weekend I was thinking about how much life changes with caregiving. There have certainly been some times when I wanted to throw in the proverbial towel - and throw anything else in "there" with it....I am typically very routine and living in a state of constant change not knowing what the next second is going to bring, has been difficult. Period. But this morning I started thinking of what hasn't changed over the last 8 years. I was reading in Isaiah 61 about rebuilding the ancient ruins, and I thought of how my faith walk

Good Monday morning world! It's been a crazy place around here of late. I don't really know why I say that as caregiving makes for all days to be crazy! You know, just about the time you think you're holding your own, got the new norms all figured out and have settled in for the duration - everything changes. How does that happen? Why does that happen? For the first time since my son's accident I somehow got signed up for home health. We only get so many days a year since there's no actual insurance involved and I usually save them for "just in case" situations. I've only had two instances where I felt their services were necessary. Well, when the doc was here last Monday - she decided we should let home health come change his feeding tube out. Evidently she signed us up. It's already taking quite the adjustment. It may seem minor to those who are not caregivers - but even the things that seem the smallest and the simplest can turn everyt

There can be many aspects of caregiving that are weighty. Even though each situation is unique and has it's own set of circumstances, it's never "over" and you're never "done." Tomorrow always awaits with mostly the same tasks today demanded. And even though the initial trauma or gravity that may have occurred at the onset of the caregiving experience are over - the situation usually means we may live in a sort of crisis mode. (Maybe it's just me.) Two things have been on my mind over the weekend. One is the social isolation that is customary in a caregiving situation. The other is how people tend to act like you had a crisis in the past but they seem to think it's over now. I think this can contribute to the isolation many caregivers experience. For instance, when we lived in the hospital for the first 4 months of our journey, we had visitors frequently. Not as much toward the end, but people still came to visit from time to time. We could

As usual, I was busy before I got up this morning! That's not really much of an exaggeration, either. I was up around one this morning with Chris - he was uncomfortable. Then at 4:30 my alarm was not a pleasant sound at all; but I got up and around eventually. I was barely moving but my head and heart were running a foot race to see how my morning was going to start. I can't stress enough to never underestimate the power of a quiet spirit. I took some time to refocus and shift, worked a little bit and finally settled down into a be still  moment. Boy, was it worth it! I opened my Bible directly to Psalm 144 and read the first two verses as I had them underlined: Bless the Lord Who is my rock. He gives me strength for war and skill for battle. He is my loving ally and my fortress, My tower of safety, my deliverer. He stands before me as a shield, and I take refuge in Him. He subdues nations under me. I spent a few minutes meditating on these verses and I

This morning I was busily working around the house. I started getting up between 4 and 5 in the morning to get some work done on my jobs. This helps me get in a few hours before the day gets out of hand. Well, that's the plan anyway - I can't say as it is actually working or not yet.  Since I have an aide now (thankfully!!!), I have to separate our laundry out again - I'd been doing it together but the aide doesn't need to mess with my stuff so I divided it out - and found I needed lots done and got started on it early this morning. I needed to get it done before the aide comes early this afternoon. I was trying to knock out the laundry, put some bread on in the bread machine, fix breakfast and Chris' early morning supplemental bolus. Felt like a busy little bee hurrying around to get things done. Soon though, I realized I was getting tense, upset and stressed out trying to get everything done. My mind was shifting into high gear. But underneath this turmoil

A caregiver's day is full; and that's an understatement. Many days I find myself running to Him to unload it all. It's scriptural. Paul said, or actually instructed us to bring all our cares to Him. For caregivers, that's quite a load. Some days it can also be hourly. Maybe that's just me. It's easy for our heart to be simply overwhelmed with caregiving itself. I touch on the daily tasks a lot - but they are many and can be expansive depending on the health and status of the loved one we are taking care of. For me it's the basic stuff - bathing, clothing, pureeing foods, cooking, feeding, changing, exercising...basically everything I might do for myself I do for my son. That's double daily tasks from the get-go. That just all the outside stuff. While those can keep me busy, it's the emotional stuff that can get me down. That's the real baggage and memories can tug on my heart. Personally, I deal with what is called living grief.  My son is

This morning I skimmed through the story of Joshua and the Children of Israel. I wanted to refresh my mind on how God provided for them throughout their years of traveling in the wilderness. As I was glancing through chapter after chapter I realized how much they had to fight to get where God promised them they could be. I'm thinking it would have been a lot easier for them and God had He just picked them up and put them where He wanted them. But would they have grown? I read over how they faced struggle after struggle in many different ways. They marched around Jericho and saw it's walls crumble right before their eyes. The crossed the Jordan river, which sounds simple - but it's not. Because of Achan's sin they were defeated at Ai; but eventually came back and won the territory.The sun stood still as they fought at Gilgal. And the list goes on until they reached the promised land, divided it up and began to settle in. The Children of Israel faced so many ups a

I was working on a project over the weekend and found myself enjoying the depth of the Psalms once again. I know I spend a lot of time in these chapters, but I've always enjoyed them. Maybe it's because I am a songwriter, a poet or always running from a lion. (lol) For whatever reason, my love for the psalms and identifying with the psalmists who wrote them have grown over the years. The candidness about their true feelings and how they turn the related emotions around into pure worship amazes me. This morning I found myself back in Psalm 37, one of my long-time favorites. Although the entire chapter is wonderful, my focus remained on the last two verses where David says: The Lord saves the godly; He is their fortress in times of trouble. The Lord helps them, rescuing them from the wicked. He saves them, and they find shelter in Him. I zeroed in on two or three things that stuck out to me. First of all, not once, but twice , David mentions the Lord saving

Did you ever feel like you're a bit schizo? I'm not making light of a legit condition, but as a caregiver it's so easy to be up one minute and bottom out the next. And on some days it seems like it takes very little to have those extremes. In my situation personally, I've found myself bottoming out lately. I see all the things my son's friends are now doing and I wonder where he would be if the accident had not occurred. I know it's futile - but the mind still goes there. It fills with questions about would he be married? Have children? Be a famous drummer? Would he have achieved his goals? Where would he have lived? How would he have interacted with his sister's kiddos? The list could go on I know for a fact because questions like these can wreak havoc in my head and heart. I'm sure it's not the same for every caregiver, but we each deal with our own set of questions. So this morning for my devotions, I turned to an old favorite, Psalm 42. I k

I've been watching the Olympics this week and thoroughly enjoying them. I guess working from home does have some benefits! I am amazed over and over again by the many athletes. I admire their dedication, tenacity and endurance. Even on some of the sports I don't normally watch I am glued to the TV in awe of these elite athletes. During my devotions this morning I was reading in Psalm 147 where it says The strength of the horse does not impress Him; how puny in His sight is the strength of man.  I kind of smiled at the thought of God not really being all that impressed with our strongest athletes. While they are wonderful, strong and way above the cut as far as we humans are concerned, their strength is basically nothing in comparison to God's. One of my favorite passages includes the last few chapters of Job where God describes creation from His point of view. It reminds us of how strong He is, how weak we are and how much we need Him! While we are admiring the strong

One of the difficult things for caregivers (or at least for me) is the emptiness and sense of loss we can deal with on a daily basis. For me, when I look at all the cool things other runners get to do and how they travel and participate in some of the most creative or scenic races - while I sit here in flat Oklahoma and don't get to play....it can get discouraging. Seeing all the things I don't get to do can wear on me and I can battle lots of negative emotions.  But when I came across Psalm 119:5-6 this morning it helped me refocus. It says this: Oh that my actions would consistently reflect Your principles! Then I will not be disgraced when I compare my life with Your commands. Why am I comparing myself with others?  What if I compared myself with the word? Can we find ourselves in these ancient pages? I think so. I have shared before that as we lay down our lives day after day for our loved ones -  we look like Him.  I'm reminded of the scripture  no

I got up this morning with the tasks of the day wearing on my mind. Do you have mornings like that? It seems like the alarm not only wakes up your body, but it wakes up the mind and signals it to start running (or thinking) a marathon. That's what it was like for me this morning. Over the years, I have learned a few strategies that help with that a bit. I write down what I have to do for the day now and prioritize what has to be done first. It seems like it helps me get more organized and get more accomplished in a day. But it doesn't help slow my mind down one bit. Actually, it seems like it frees it up to run other races. My usual morning goes something like this: push snooze 3-4 times when the alarm goes off at 5:30 drag out of bed around 6 put on coffee change and bolus Chris get coffee, Bible, notebooks and laptop and head for the recliner stare at wall sipping coffee while my mind goes through daily tasks at 100 mph open Bible......try to make sense of what

The last few days have been more hectic than usual around my house. I've had friends and family in and out to celebrate my birthday in one way or another. It's been a wonderful weekend and I'm all birthday-ed out. As we go into a new week, I think about how I'll deal with the alone-ness that is surely to creep back up on me. I think one of the things we have to deal with as caregivers is being alone. As a single caregiver, I can spend a lot of time all alone and since my son is non-verbal I used to go days without even hearing other's voices except on TV. Thankfully, my online jobs have changed that and I see and talk to people via video calls frequently. I have also had my health coaching classes I watch via video. It's certainly not as good as in-person, real discussions - but it's been better than nothing. Oddly enough, sometimes if I have a lot of outside  contact now - I actually deal with over stimulation. I have to chuckle at that, but it's

Over the weekend I found myself going through my Yahoo email. I have been neglecting its upkeep and had tons of emails. I decided to go through it and delete the ones that no longer mattered. I did not realize I had emails from as far back as 2005! I had two or three from my son, which had obviously been sent prior to his accident in 2008. Among them I found a jewel of an email. In it, he thanked me for being a cool mom, and for all I did for him, specifically in his pursuit of God. Yes, my eyes did sweat just a bit as I read over the words he typed long ago. I read them as if he meant them today. But past that, he made a statement that I shared on Facebook and I can't seem to shake it. He said this: I'm in God's hands and I'm too small to get out. I've thought about that phrase and even though it is a few short words, it is power-packed. He said so much by saying so little. Since I read it, I've been thinking about it a lot. I think about the fact of be

This morning I woke up overwhelmed. Ever have one of those days? Before my feet hit the floor my mind was sorting out what seems like thousands of thoughts. My son didn't sleep well, he coughed off and on throughout the night - so I didn't sleep well, I worked all day yesterday and felt like I got nothing done, there's so much to do and lots of it has to be done today, and on and on my mind goes like a hamster in a spinning wheel. Ever have a morning like that?  Some days are like this where it feels like there are so many things that have  to be done now, or needed to be done yesterday. In reality, they are no different than all the same things that I did yesterday and will need to be done tomorrow. :-) Some mornings I wake up in what I call the caregiver's fog; other mornings, like today, I wake up on this hamster wheel realizing all it takes to make it through a day. I'm tired, and I've not even started. Haha, I'm sure I'm the only one, right!?

It seems kind of funny for a caregiver to be exploring this being quiet  thing since our lives are pretty much anything but  that, doesn't it? I mean, come on, most of us get up before the sun to get our daily stuff started and we retire long after the rest of the world is down for the night. There's just a lot to do, period. Add to the "regular" stuff the fact that this is the last week of the month and all the "regular" people like nurses and case managers want to get their visits in all at the same time - and you've got anything but  a quiet week! How in the world is the caregiver supposed to calm their souls  when the world around them is constantly in a topsy turvy  state? Some days I'd give a million bucks for 5 seconds of sit-down-and-be-quiet-ness. Wouldn't you? I do think it is entirely possible to quiet our souls  while the world around us, in our own homes nonetheless, is crazed and spiraling. There's a place we can hide in H

I'm pretty much known for voicing my opinion. As you can imagine, I've found myself in many predicaments because I've said the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time. My mouth was the reason I took frequent trips to the principal's office during my years in school. I am also not a good waiter. Oh, I can wait tables - but I'm not good at waiting for stuff, or people either for that matter. All of this was going through my head as I read Isaiah 30:15 this morning. It's a given that we are going to have times in life when we are just going to have to wait. So it's not really so much about the wait itself - but more about how we wait. That's where being impatient and mouthy are a bad combination. Now, I have to say I have calmed down a lot over the last few years, but I've not gotten much better at being patient. Isaiah 30:15 has always stuck out to me for a couple of reasons. So it's no wonder as I was studying about being still

I'm from Oklahoma and we have a lot of storms and during storm season we have more than our share of tornadoes. Fortunately, I've only seen a few and that is usually from a distance. They are powerful and quite noisy. One of the oddest feelings in the world is to know there is a tornado out there, but feel the more than just proverbial calm before the storm.  It can be so still, absolutely nothing moving or making any noise. No wind. No rain. Absolute calm - but you know that any second the wind is going to whip up and you're going to either run for cover - or run for the camera so you don't miss anything! (I usually do that latter.) There really aren't a lot of words I can use to describe that kind of eerie stillness. It's kind of like a quiet explosion as your hair stands on end waiting for the excitement that's about to occur. I think it's that quiet kind of anticipation God was looking for when He told the psalmist, Be still and know I am God.

Yesterday my daughter came to sit with my son so I could use her car to go get some groceries. We've been limited to what I can carry on my back while pushing him in his chair since the van is broke down...again. Since it's summertime here in Oklahoma and many days have heat advisories  issued, so I have to wait until late in the evening before we go. So I was very appreciative of a vehicle with air conditioning to run my errands. As I was driving along, the afternoon sun was bearing down and the little air conditioner was doing all it could to keep the car cooled off. I noticed as I drove, when I would pass under shaded areas there was an immediate relief as the shade provided a shield from the weight of the overbearing heat. I remembered there was a scripture that talked about the Lord being our shade. When I got home, I looked it up and found it in two different place. Psalm 121:5 says the Lord is your shade on your right hand. It's also found in Isaiah 25:4 whic

This train of thought started yesterday morning. I was bathing and dressing my son to get him up for the day and I could hear some birds in the backyard. They were chirping away as if nothing was wrong. I started thinking about what Jesus said in Matthew 7:25-27. He basically said He provides for birds and you don't see them out there worrying about where their next meal is coming from. I smiled as I continued to listen to their constant, cheerful chirping; and I encouraged myself in the fact that they were not worried about at thing - nothing at all. As long as they are still singing, He must still be providing. So this morning I looked for birds in the Bible using Biblegateway  and somehow I ended up in Psalm 50. Asaph is credited as writing this psalm and in verse 7 he begins with more of a prophetic word to God's people. He starts out explaining that He accepts the sacrifices people are bringing to Him. He said, I have no complaint. But in verse 9, He says I want no m