Freedom is in the Wait
Over the years, I have learned a few strategies that help with that a bit. I write down what I have to do for the day now and prioritize what has to be done first. It seems like it helps me get more organized and get more accomplished in a day. But it doesn't help slow my mind down one bit. Actually, it seems like it frees it up to run other races.
My usual morning goes something like this:
- push snooze 3-4 times when the alarm goes off at 5:30
- drag out of bed around 6
- put on coffee
- change and bolus Chris
- get coffee, Bible, notebooks and laptop and head for the recliner
- stare at wall sipping coffee while my mind goes through daily tasks at 100 mph
- open Bible......try to make sense of what God is trying to say......
That's about it - every morning.
This morning my Bible fell open to Psalm 119 and the first verse I saw was 45 which says I will walk in freedom for I have devoted myself to your commandments. And off went my mind in a hurried rush. As the question queen I had about 100 of them rolling out of my mind immediately. I thought about how David must not have been a caregiver because freedom is something we definitely don't have. It's something we gave up to be able to care for our loved one. Our lives seem to be anything but free.
My mind starting racing about true definition of freedom and how my freedom isn't measured in the natural - but in the spirit. Jesus said it is the truth that makes us free. BC (before caregiving) I participated in prison ministry and one of the most touching songs I heard was written by a prisoner who wrote about being free in Christ even though he was living a life behind bars. As caregivers it can feel like life has us on restrictions. That can be difficult to sort through.
But what did the psalmist know about freedom? Or what did he know about the lack of freedom?And why did he throw it in here - in the middle of this psalm? I think he saw God's word as a liberating factor in his life. David had spent years running from Saul, waiting for the promise of kingship. He never raised his hand against Saul even though he could have rightfully taken the throne God had promised him. Instead, he waited.
There's that four-letter word wait again. It keeps coming up doesn't it? Is it just me or does it feel like every day is spent waiting on Him anymore? What are we waiting on Him to do? In truth - He's waiting on us too - He just wants us to bring it all to Him. All of it. All our fears. All our doubts. All our frustrations. All our anxiety. He says to bring it all to Him - and He'll take it as a trade-in for rest.
That's what Paul said. He said to give Him all your cares - Why? So He can do the caring for you! So we can walk this life free from fear, guilt, frustration, doubt....and that's what our freedom is all about. It's not about being able to come and go as we want (although that would be nice). It's about not having life burden us down - being free in Him.
Today I am going to explore this freedom. My thoughts will be on how truly free I am no matter what my situation looks like. I will meditate on how free my spirit is; and I'll turn my thoughts to how He will take all my cares. He'll take everything I give Him - but nothing I withhold. And today I'll find it in myself to figure out a way to let go - and let God. I'll let Him do the work as I just rest in Him. Will you join me?
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