Posts

Showing posts from April, 2022

I KNOW I'm Not Alone - Why do I Feel That Way?

Image
 Do you ever feel alone? Caregiving has a way of isolating you and sometimes even in a crowd you can feel alone. Since I've become my son's aide, I feel more alone than ever. I know I am on the phone with people or in zoom meetings almost every day. But I still feel so very alone. I remind myself that God is with me - a truth I hold on to. But it's so hard to not feel totally alone when you make all the decisions, do all the caregiving tasks, and can't find sitters for big events you really don't want to miss. I know that He said He'd be with me to the end. He also said He'd never leave or forsake us, but since God doesn't wear skin, it can feel like He's a million miles away from my day-to-day reality, no matter how much my heart holds to the truth that He is near. Ah! The age-old battle between the mind and the spirit. I started mentally walking through some Bible stories to find a character who may have felt very alone, yet God was with him. I lan...

Under is Not All Bad

Image
  When we think of being under something it's usually in a bad connotation. We feel under the weather  or we are under a heavy burden.  But this weekend, I discovered that being under isn't all bad! We had some bad storms roll through. The tornadic activity was nowhere near me but in the same county. Since there was a tornado warning in the county, the tornado sirens were blaring. I ran outside to see if I could capture a photo of anything interesting from this side. What I found was a huge feeder cloud looming overhead. I snapped a photo but it just did not compare. I took several photos and came back to the house to look at them. They seemed to lack something. It took me a few minutes to figure out what was missing. A picture just couldn't capture the feeling of being under  that huge cloud formation. Of course, my mind went to the scriptures. Psalm 91 talks about hiding under the shadow  of the Almighty. In Psalm 57, the psalmist declares he will stay under t...

Not Forgotten

Image
  It's so easy to feel insignificant, ignored, and shoved to the side of life. People don't always mean to be mean, but they often don't know what to do with "us." lol. Simple things become complicated. Like, which Sunday School class do I belong in? Should I go with Chris? Leave him alone in a class and try to find my own? Or do I even try to go since it'll be such a mess? Let's not even talk about trying to find a way to use a public restroom. Do I take my adult son with me to the women's or do I go to the men's? (That's a no.) For caregivers, simple daily tasks can become quite difficult. Others just don't understand and so it can be easy to begin to feel less-than and insignificant. These are some of the thoughts I let my mind wander down this morning after reading John 4 again. This chapter contains the familiar story of the Woman at the Well. We don't even know her name. We know very little about her past, except that she's be...

Full Of It

Image
  This morning during my private devotions, I started studying 1 John to prepare for an upcoming live Zoom Bible study I'm hosting. (Let me know if you'd like a link to join!) I John is very connected to the gospel of John and I found myself reading the first chapter of this gospel over and over. It amazes me and pretty much blows my mind how God has orchestrated all this. Before He said, "Let there be light" He had already done everything. He'd already prepared the way for us to get back to Him, even before the fall happened in time. Jesus was crucified and raised to sit on the throne. Our sins were already forgiven before we ever even committed them. (We just need to accept His forgiveness.)  So I'm reading through John chapter one with my mouth wide open in awe! My mind is running around crazy just thinking about all the wonderous works of God. The Word of God - His very breath become flesh and walked among man for a brief 33 years. In verse 14, it says He ...

Stating the Obvious

Image
 I came across this scripture this morning and it just jumped out at me. Joshua 13:1 says this Now Joshua was old, advanced in years. And the Lord said to him: you are old, advanced in years, and there remains very much land yet to be possessed. (NASB)  That scripture has always seemed so funny to me, but today - I got it. The obvious is that Joshua is old, advanced in years. I get that! I always thought it was funny that God then said the same thing to him. Joshua - you're old. LOL. Wasn't God just stating the obvious? That's not really the most important part although it is key. God went on to tell the old man that there was still a lot to do - much land to possess. Surely Joshua found that encouraging! For a few minutes, I rolled this seemingly insignificant verse around in my head. I had tons of questions. Why did God need to remind Joshua that he was getting so old? We've talked a lot about "exclusionary statements" on this blog. I think God is giving Jos...

Starting a Caregiving Support Business? Here’s What to Do

Image
  Image from Unsplash The senior care industry is booming. In fact, Business Insider reports that as the Baby Boomer population ages, the market for senior caregiving is expected to grow by 21% by 2050. To account for this trend, many individuals are choosing to go into the family senior caregiving business. And by accounting for this new growth, you can make headway into this space as well… by providing support and services to the increased number of senior caregivers! Want to learn more?  Let’s break it all down below.   Identifying Your Business Niche   According to Big Frame , having a business niche makes it easier to become well-known in your industry and reduces competition while targeting audiences. Since you’ll be serving senior family caregivers, you already have a well-defined niche. But think about going more granular into the topic. What age demographics will your professionals belong to? What about their income and asset levels? Do lots of...

Go-To Scriptures

Image
 I was visiting with a lady from Alaska yesterday. She was telling me about a ministry she helps with and she said they had a main scripture. It made me wonder if I needed one. I thought about what she'd said for some time, but couldn't settle on a single scripture that I would call my "life scripture." You know? My favorite passages change from day to day. Sometimes, it's from moment to moment! I can say I have a lot of go-to scriptures. We talk about a lot of them here. Psalm 46:1 - God is my refuge and strength - a very present help in time of trouble. I go to that one a lot. But I have held onto Psalm 57:1 for years and declared that I will stay under His shadow and shelter until calamities are past. On any given day I may meditate on any number of verses I've read in my devotions or just a random one that comes to mind. Since His word is alive - and it's in us - you just never know which one may pop up! Maybe that's why it's so important to hi...

The Blessing

Image
  Ever have those days where it seems like one bad (or mostly bad) report follows another? Yesterday was one of those days for me. It wasn't super horrible stuff, but just not the best news either. I mulled it over in my mind and overthought all this new information. Because that's what I always do - until I turn to get God's answer. lol. I know, I'm weird. But my hyperactive analytical mind has to run information through all these formulas. You know what though, the answer is always  to trust Him.  As I was thinking about all this early in the morning, I thought about Job. He's one of my all-time favorite Bible characters. He stayed the course in some of life's stormiest seas. He navigated his life's boat right toward God no matter what presented itself. So I turned my Bible over to the first couple of chapters and read the account again. Job didn't even have time to process information on that day. One person after another came bearing bad news - it ke...

Part of the Crowd

Image
 I took Chris to our local minor league baseball team's game yesterday. I must say I give the ballpark an A+ on accessibility. The parking guys pointed me to a handicap spot right near the gate. And from there, I just rolled him in and found our accessible seating - which just means a chair beside an empty spot for the wheelchair to fit in! It was great. He could see fine and even though it was a bit loud at times - it wasn't too loud for him. What joy fills my heart when I find things to do that are positive. As we sat and watched the game, we became part of the crowd. We were all watching the game and cheering on the home team. We had one purpose - besides being entertained, and that was to support the local team. We all cheered when our guys made a play. We hooped and hollered when one of them stole a base or hit a home run. It was so amazing to be part of something bigger than us - to be part of the community.   It made me think about the crowds who followed Jesus and...

Why Wait?

Image
 This morning in the middle of my live Facebook "Peace Out!" devotions, I was reading a scripture and it just hit me. Ever have that happen? I was sharing out of one of my favorites, Psalm 61. David is pouring his heart out to God. I've always focused on being overwhelmed, running to God, and letting Him lead me to the Rock. But as I was reading it for the thousandth time, I saw this phrase - from the end of the earth. Suddenly, I wondered what David meant. Did he mean he thought the world was flat and he was living on the edge about to fall off? Or did he mean time was coming to a close and the earth was ending? Neither of those made sense to me. I don't know what David was going through specifically, of course. But it's obvious he was dealing with some big stuff. Then, it hit me - David was at the end of his rope! Maybe they just didn't have that saying yet! lol. He cried out - from the end of the earth - the end of my rope - I will cry to You, O Lord! My qu...

Caregiver Burnout is Real

Image
  Do you ever just get too tired? Do you ever want to quit? Do you ever sit down for a whole 30 seconds and think about not getting back up? Ever? Who am I kidding? Sometimes I forget who I'm talking to. Lol. As caregivers, burnout is real. But the problem for most of us, is we don't get a break even in the midst of burnout, right? Let's face it. If we had a bit more help we might  avoid burnout - but once we feel that we are in a season of burnout and stressed out - there's still no help. It's easy to feel stuck. I try to do a few things to avoid burnout and to cope. Someone told me one time that I had learned how to live even in the midst of the situation. I think she was right. I have learned to slow down and enjoy an afternoon cup of tea (or coffee!!!). I try to get outside as much as possible because sunshine and fresh air are essential to a healthy life. Some days that means sitting on the patio so I can see Chris in the recliner through the window. But I'...

Between the Lines

Image
  I have recently discovered that I say a lot of things and expect people to read between the lines.  You may do it too whether you realize it or not.  As caregivers, it can be difficult to find the words for our emotions. We can't always adequately describe our situations with words. And even if we can, there are many things we deal with daily that are taboo topics. Or, of course, we don't deal with some topics as we want our loved ones to have some dignity. So we speak in riddles and only those who really know - fully understand. What we really mean. I was thinking about this a lot yesterday and here are a few examples that I came up with, maybe you've got a few of your own. I need to get out more. - Really means I am so lonely. Wanna come over for a cup of coffee? - Means I am at the end of my rope. I feel neglected, alone, and I need a friend. I am eating myself out of house and home lol - Really means - I'm experiencing emotional eating and I don't know how to ...

It's a Hold-Up!

Image
  One thing caregivers can understand is long nights. Recently, I haven't had them as often, and for that I am thankful. But I do still have some and last night was one of them. I hate it because Chris is uncomfortable and no matter what I do it doesn't help. Since he is nonverbal, he can't tell me to reposition him, sit him up more or less, or that there is a wrinkle in his sheet. His numbers were good (heart rate, 02, and temp), so I talked myself through the night, basically.  Long Night Talks With God During those long nights, God and I talk a lot. Well, it's mostly me whining and crying and wondering why a lot. But He listens. And most of the time, He answers. The early hours of this morning were no different.  I try not to lash out at God, but sometimes I'm just angry. I lost my son and it seems God just "saved" him enough to keep him here to suffer sometimes. Man, those long nights can really show you your own thoughts loud and clear, huh? Last nigh...

The Source

Image
 As I was preparing for my Facebook live devotions this morning, I started meditating on the main scripture. It is out of Isaiah 43, and God is reminding Israel that He is the One God.   He is our source of peace, gives us wisdom, loves us unconditionally, and hears our prayers, even the goofy ones! I thought about how back in their day, they took a piece of wood or stone and crafted a god. Then, they bowed down to it like it was going to do something - anything for them. I never got that. Can something I make with my own hands be "greater" than me? I don't see how. It definitely couldn't hear them or respond to their pleas for help. It has no love, no wisdom to share. While we may not ever find ourselves physically bowing before a big rock, we, as humans, can tend to run to what is familiar and tangible. That's why so many turn to drugs and alcohol. They provide a "feeling" or at least a change in the way they feel. It seems measurable, but it leads dow...

In the Boat - In a Storm

Image
 I've been rolling a lot of questions and thoughts over and over in my mind. The big question I keep coming up with is this: what if He doesn't? You can fill the blank in with your circumstances. For me - it's what if He doesn't ever heal my son, can I live with that? What if the "morning" never comes - because joy comes in the morning, right? What if trouble does  last "always"? (Trouble don't last always, they say.) What if He doesn't calm the storm while we are out there in the boat?  I've been thinking about it a lot. In my mind, I'm sitting out in a boat and there's a storm raging all around me. We know the story in Mark 4 where Jesus was in the boat asleep in the middle of the storm. (That's total peace right there!) Then in Matthew 14, He came walking out on the water to his disciples in the boat in the middle of the storm. I've had people tell me that trouble won't last forever - the storm will go away. But so ...