Between the Lines

 

I have recently discovered that I say a lot of things and expect people to read between the lines. You may do it too whether you realize it or not.  As caregivers, it can be difficult to find the words for our emotions. We can't always adequately describe our situations with words. And even if we can, there are many things we deal with daily that are taboo topics. Or, of course, we don't deal with some topics as we want our loved ones to have some dignity. So we speak in riddles and only those who really know - fully understand.

What we really mean.

I was thinking about this a lot yesterday and here are a few examples that I came up with, maybe you've got a few of your own.

• I need to get out more. - Really means I am so lonely.
• Wanna come over for a cup of coffee? - Means I am at the end of my rope. I feel neglected, alone, and I need a friend.
• I am eating myself out of house and home lol - Really means - I'm experiencing emotional eating and I don't know how to stop.
• It could be worse. - Really means I don't know how I'm going to make it.
• I'm a hot mess. lol - Really means I'm at the end of my emotions and I really need God to help me get it all together.

These are just a few of the things I've heard myself say and I'm the only one who really knows what I meant. I'm sure there are plenty of other examples, and maybe you have some go-to statements like I do. We say things like, 

• God will provide.
• He's got me!
• God will make a way.

These faith statements are wonderful. And I agree - we need to make them all the time. We often need to pull up our faithful, favorite scriptures and read them to our minds over and over to build faith, don't we? But sometimes, we use truth as a mask to hide our true emotions. We can't ever really tell anyone how we feel or how we are dealing with caregiving. So, they are left to read between the lines. Some do it well. Others, don't have a clue. lol (Am I right?)

Here's the thing - God always reads between the lines. Sometimes, it feels like He doesn't answer our questions because He replies to the root of the question and not the actual question. Where did the question originate? What emotion sparked that question? Where are you now, God? I've cried that during many long, dark nights.

David Did It!

Maybe that's what David was feeling or thinking when He penned Psalm 13. How long will you look the other way? In David's heart, he knew God was with him, we see that bear out through the many psalms he wrote. But he didn't really think God was looking away. How do I know for sure? Because just two verses later David's asking God to consider and hear his cries. When we cry out, Where are You, God? We know where He is - but reading between the lines we'll see an intense need for Him. We may not feel or sense Him in any way during that moment. (Hey, it happens.) We know He's here. We know He hasn't left. But we feel abandoned, alone, and afraid. He's big enough to read between those lines and hear what our hearts and tears don't have the words for.

Today, I want to quiet my soul before Him. Since I don't always have the words for what I feel, I will let my silence speak. I will quietly present myself before Him and wait for Him to answer the silent cries of my heart. Will you join me on this new level of trusting Him?

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