More than Adequate Protection

There have been many times in my life when I have turned to Psalm 27; it just has it all. David talks about trusting the Lord in a very intimate way even through some very tough situations. The psalmist is honest about his feelings and speaks of dread and fear. As he usually does, David reminds himself of Who God had been in his life and asks God to "not abandon or forsake" him. He also takes the time to ask God to teach him, lead him and protect him.

One of the verses that sticks out to me today particularly is verse 5. Here David says: in the day of trouble He will conceal me in His tabernacle; in the secret place of His tent He will hide me... Not just any day - but the day of trouble - God will hide us. And not hide us just anywhere - He hides us in His tabernacle; and in the secret place of His tent. To me this speaks of intimacy. God doesn't just drop us in a cave somewhere and put His hand over the entrance so the enemy can't find us. Even though that would provide adequate protection, He hides us in His secret place. He hides us in His heart - where life cannot touch us or destroy us.

Perhaps with this intimacy in mind David penned the final verse to this psalm. The first 13 verses seem to be written in  third person. David is speaking about his own personal experience. He's crying out for the Lord to hear him, rejoicing in the Lord's victory and asking God to teach him, lead him, and protect him. But in the final verse it's as if he turns to address the rest of the world and he gives more of a command. Maybe he had no idea of the multitude who would read this passage and find hope when he addresses the reader directly by saying:

Wait for the Lord;

Be strong and let your heart take courage;

Yes, wait for the Lord.

He changes from first and third person to second person and reminds us all to wait for the Lord. The old King James Version translated it this way: Wait on the Lord; be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart. "Let your heart take courage" and "He will strengthen your heart" both indicate to me that we must yield to Him and wait for Him and allow Him to strengthen us and encourage us.  Waiting on Him means we let Him do the work while we rest in His faithfulness.

Today I will meditate on His faithfulness and His protection. I will purposefully move out of the way and allow Him to provide intimate protection. I will trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

There it is again!

There are many scriptures that talk about waiting on God. It seems to be a favorite theme that runs throughout the psalms. Psalm 62 is just one of the many times there is mention of waiting on Him. Actually, the first verse of this psalm begins with a declaration of My soul waits in silence for God only. Not only is the psalmist, David saying his soul is waiting for God, but he is doing so in silence. Now I don't know about you, but it can be a rare thing for my soul  to be silent. My mouth may not be making a sound but my head and heart are going a hundred miles an hour (on a slow day!).

As a caregiver it can feel like we are always in "waiting mode." Even getting up in the morning means waiting to see what the day will hold. How will our loved one respond to care today? Will the aide show up today? Will supplies arrive on time? Am I going to be able to go grab some groceries or will something preempt it? And that's all the thoughts that start running after hitting the snooze the first time. But no matter how hectic the day starts out we have to learn to wait on God alone. We have to learn to trust Him in every situation.

Psalm 62:5 says My soul, wait in silence for God only, for my hope is from Him. Even though he started the psalm with this thought it's like he needs to remind himself to wait - in silence. Then it seems like he is reminding himself of who God is to him:

My rock

My salvation

My stronghold

My glory

My strength

My refuge

I will trust Him at all times.

I can truly pour out my heart before Him because He is a safe place. He knows what we are going through and understands each intricate detail of our crazy lives. But He never condemns or judges us. He even understands the thousands of thoughts that run through our heads in just a few seconds. And you know what? It doesn't scare Him off! 

Our task is to quiet our souls before Him. This can be a true act of worship as we learn to become quiet before God and wait on Him. 

Today I will work on quieting my soul before my God. I will meditate on trusting Him more fully. I will work on surrendering my mind, will and emotions to Him as an act of worship. Will you join me?

The Tenacity to Trust

Today's Bible heroes are Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego; or as we usually refer to them the three Hebrew children. They faced great adversity even at a very young age. They were first of all taken as captives and slaves into a foreign land where they were treated anyway but kindly. Of all the slaves these three and Daniel along with many others were taken to be trained as servants for the king. They were removed from their families, mutilated, lost life as they knew it and were kept as prisoners in a foreign, pagan land. But I love their faith and tenacity - two things the caregiver needs to survive the day!

In Daniel 3, the king had set up a golden idol and everyone was instructed to bow when they heard the music playing. The 3 refused to do so pledging their allegiance to God alone. The edict stated they would be thrown into a burning furnace if they did not bow to the idol set up by the king. When they did not bow the king was angry and when he questioned them they made this faith-filled statement:

O Nebuchadnezzar,we do not need to defend ourselves before you.

If we are thrown into the blazing furnace,

then God whom we serve is able to save us.

He will rescue us from your power, your majesty.

But even if He doesn't, 

your majesty can be sure we will never serve your gods

or worship the gold statue you have set up. (Daniel 3:16-18)

What I really like about this story is that they were not looking for a way out. They were not waiting for God to ride in on a white horse to save them from harm. They said He is able to save us; but even if He doesn't we are not going to bow. 

The caregiving journey has no designated length and for many there is really no end in sight. It would be wonderful if God chose to come in and bring immediate healing and restoration - no one's going to turn that down! No one's is questioning His ability to do so. But in our hearts, we must have the faith, trust and tenacity to say whether He saves us or not we will still serve Him.

Today I will meditate on how awesome God is; and how my situation does not diminish His power. I will set my heart on Him and continue to trust Him in the situation knowing that whether it changes or not - He is my God and I will serve no other.

Tis so Sweet to Trust in Jesus

Another favorite Bible hero of mine is Job. I know he didn't lead an army, build a boat or slay a giant, but he intrigues me nonetheless. I cannot fathom the sense of loss that he went through. First of all losing all his children in a day would be too much to bear. But he also lost his crops, livestock, and ways to provide for his family. Then ultimately he even lost his health. My mind just really cannot wrap around all of that.

One of the things that stands out in this story isn't really about him at all - it's about his friends. Even though they were not perfect, when they heard of his hardship - they came. And they sat. For seven days they felt his pain and grief so strongly that they sat in silence with nothing to say. As a caregiver I can say that those friends that just sit during the time of trouble are priceless...and few.

But what gets me about Job is actually his level of trust. I think that's why he's my hero. In Job 13:15 he stated that even if God killed him - he would still trust. I have to honestly say I have never made that statement. I've been angry with God for "taking away" my son - I always work my way back around to trusting Him but I have not found that single spot where I can just recklessly abandon to Him and freely say that I trust Him no matter what. But Job did; and I admire that.

While that level of trust does not just appear overnight, I do think we can work toward it at the bare minimum. I commit to leaning more on Him each day and learning more about Him and His ways in order to trust Him more fully.

Today I will meditate on trusting Him fully. I will think about how He does have my best interest at heart - even if I don't feel like it; or when I do not like the circumstances. And I will make a conscious effort to simply trust Him today. Will you join me?

Digging Deeper

In yesterday's blog we talked about "let." It's a little word, with a huge impact. Today we'll look at the very next verse in Colossians 3. Verse 16 says to Let the word of Christ dwell within you....Once again, the word "let" is synonymous with allow.

Paul is urging the young Christian church to allow God's word to put down deep roots into their hearts. He's talking about a lot more than just a simple surface relationship - Allow His word to indwell you. It's easy for circumstances to crowd out our entire belief system if we do not guard our hearts carefully, When my son was injured in an automobile accident - the happenings that followed for months shook my faith to its core. That's totally natural; but I was faced with a choice. Am I going to continue to trust God?

Situations will have impacts on us, but it's up to us what we choose to hold on to. In my own personal struggle there were times when my greatest frustration was the fact that I couldn't give up. I wanted to - but He is so alive in me that I could not walk away and say I never knew Him. I did  know Him - I just didn't understand what He allowed to happen, or why He allowed it to happen. That's a perfectly normal response.

As the journey continued I discovered that I really had no other hope but Him. I had nowhere else to run for strength, hope and peace. That brings me back to my choice to let His word thrive in me. I want to move everything out of the way that might hinder His word from taking up residence in my heart. Jeremiah 31:33 states that He will write His law in our hearts. I suggest that from there it's up to us to allow (or let) it to take root and push out all doubts, fear and unbelief so that we can hold on to His truth.

Today I purpose to allow His word to take root in my heart. I want to rest in Him to the extent that nothing else but Him matters. I'll allow His word into my heart and life to make changes so that I can trust Him more. Will you join me?

Doing Our Part

When I started with the theme about being still this week I really didn't know it was so much work (see yesterday's post!). But as I went through the different scriptures I realized there is a lot resting on our shoulders to be still. Exodus 14:14 is one I have heard all my life and it says: The Lord will fight for you while you keep silent. (NASB) The context is Moses and the Children of Israel standing on the edge of the Red Sea with Pharaoh's army pressing in from behind. In verse 13, Moses tells them that they are going to see the Lord's salvation and God's going to take care of the oppressor. Verse 14 then goes on to say He will fight for them. However, they have to do their part as well - keep silent.

I let my mind form the picture of what is happening here as if I was standing there listening to Moses. I have an army of people who really do not like me and I do not know if they want to take me back into slavery or just kill me. Then in front of me is  a raging river that is impassable. And Moses wants me to keep silent? He instructs me to wait on the Lord and let Him do all the work? Doesn't Moses know I'm a caregiver and I know how to get things done? I'm used to doing it all myself!

As caregivers we have learned to adjust to just about any situation that presents itself. We are one of the most adaptable people around and we tend to have to fight in just about every arena just to survive. We have to argue with health care workers to just simply do their job, delivery people who can't seem to do what they said, the system to get proper supplies, and the list goes on and on and on. But He wants us to keep silent or be still? Only if we want Him to fight for us!

Now I understand that there are things we cannot let go and it can be a fight to get things done. We cannot give up in that arena. God's not going to call FedEx or DHS for us. There are things we have to take care of and I'm not talking about sitting down and just seeing what He can get done in the natural realm today. I'm talking about settling our souls down and getting our minds and hearts to a place of stillness so that His peace can overtake us and He can fight the battles of life for us. 1 Peter 5:7 says for us to cast all of our anxiety on Him, because He cares for us. That's what I'm talking about - I think you'll find when you let Him carry you spiritually, the natural will be much easier to deal with.

Today I'm going to meditate on being still, and keeping silent. My goal is to not complain (tall order I know!) about where I am in life. I'll give every anxiety over to Him as He enables me to handle everything that life chooses to throw. I'll do my part of finding my rest and peace in Him - will you join me?

Being Still is Hard Work

Last week I thought a lot about God's presence and how it is always with us so we are never really alone. That led my thinking to Psalm 46:10 which says Be still and know that I am God. This was the theme for yesterday's broadcast Actions Required. On one hand being still before our wonderful God seems like it would be a very simple thing. But it's not really about just getting quiet, which can be very difficult for the caregiver to begin with. That little conjunction "and" indicates to me that further action is required. Be still and know He is God.

Being still goes beyond finding a quiet place to read and study, or simply stilling our souls to meditate on Him, although that is part of it. Finding time may be a more difficult task in that the caregiver's day can be filled with activity. In many cases we hit the floor running long before dawn and don't stop until late at night. We live a hectic life even if we are mostly contained in our homes. But it is very important to take time to quiet ourselves down and simply acknowledge His lordship in our lives. Not only must we be still we must also know He is God.

When we take the time to purposefully quiet ourselves before Him, we are acknowledging Him as the most important thing in our lives (no matter how hectic they may be). We may say for the moment:  Lord, there is nothing more important in this moment than to acknowledge you are my God. This is the beginning of learning to rest in Him and trust Him for our strength. I love those moments when I can put all of the crazy parts of life on hold and just sit with Him awhile. Not only can purposefully taking this posture before God help make your day better - it can improve the rest of your life!

Today I will meditate on laying aside all the "crazy parts" of life and acknowledging His lordship in my life. I will concentrate on how I am fully His and there is really nothing else that matters. As I acknowledge that He is my God, I will trust Him for one more day - and purposefully lay my heart at His feet in worship. Will you join me?

The Peace of Integrity

I'm still reading Job and really enjoying it. One thing that is standing out in my mind is how his friends keep arguing that there is some sort of flaw in Job or he would not be in this terrible situation. I guess it stands out to me so much because I had people say these same types of things to me when I was very ill in 1986. (It's a long story I'll try to write somewhere else - but obviously I lived!) Job's "friends" attack his character each time they speak because they were trying to analyze it according to their own religious dogma. Yet all the way through Job maintains that he has not sinned to cause all the tragedy to come upon him. Isn't that among some of our first thoughts after a tragedy strikes and we try to settle into a new normal?

In Job 13:15 Job makes one of the most faith-filled statements that is contained in scriptures. He states that even if God slays him - he will still trust Him. Some versions say still hope in Him.  While this is a powerful viewpoint on life and Job is making the declaration that no matter what happens to him while journeying through life he will continue to trust and hope in God - the next statement is what caught my heart today.

In the last phrase of this verse, Job says Nevertheless, I will argue my ways before Him. He was not going to back down on the fact that he had integrity with himself and God. I think he trusted God enough to know that if he had done something wrong the Lord would have informed him of such.  David made a similar statement in Psalm 101:2  when he said I will live a life of integrity in my own home. How powerful is it to know that we have integrity with ourselves? Plus we know that we are pleasing Him in our actions.

I'll be the first to admit that I cannot say I am blameless...there are those days that I lose it. Aides don't show up, supplies are delayed, doctors do not return calls...I get frustrated. Don't we all? My peace is not found in my actions always being the purest...but in the fact that after I punch the punching bag a few times, run a couple of miles and mutter a couple of curse words...I do finally run to Him! And you know what? He's always right there - even when I am not "perfect"!

Today I will meditate on His ever abiding presence - even when I am frustrated. I will learn to turn to Him sooner when things get out of hand. And I will commit to having integrity in my own home.

Still Here

This week I decided to return to Job. It may sound odd to those most familiar with his story, but I was actually looking for some comfort. While his friends did not offer him much comfort or hope, my thinking was that by reading some of the things Job said I could gain a better perspective and find peace in dealing with the situation. So far, I haven't got past chapter 1. I hope we can take this journey through the book of Job together.

The first thing that caught my attention was that Job was blameless, a man of integrity, and he stayed away from evil. (You do know that Job wrote the book, right? *smile*) The second thing that caught my attention was further down when Satan confronted God about Job. He said that God protected Job, his family and all of his possessions from harm. He suggested that if Job lost everything, he would curse God to His face.

This is where I stopped for some inner reflections. As a caregiver, nothing is easy. Everything in our worlds have likely changed; and for me it has literally been everything. I have to look at myself and measure my own integrity - or lack of integrity. I certainly cannot honestly say that I have always said real pleasant things to God during this trial of faith; and I cannot say I have always had faith. But I can say that I have not cursed God or walked away from Him because of the tragedy, losses, or pain.

Losing everything is interesting because only then can you find out what you are truly holding on to. Only in the deepest trials of life do we find where our hope lies. Life doesn't lie. Instead, it reveals where our trust is, where our hope is and how we choose to make it through the dark night of the soul. We are still around. We are still seeking God; and He is still our provider and the keeper of our souls. Will I ever measure up to the patience or integrity of Job, not likely! lol. But I can say that even with a life of loss He is still my God!

Think about perspective today. Are we cursing Him for the storm? Or are we thankful He has chosen to walk through it with us? Let's be thankful today that He is still an ever-present God!

What Time I Am Afraid

Maybe it's just me, but there can be  a lot of fears in caregiving.I am afraid I will hurt my loved one (not purposefully of course), make a wrong decision or just mess something up. It's very difficult to make decisions on behalf of someone else...for me anyway! Then since I am a caregiver to my son I worry about what happens when I am gone? Who will care for him then? There are also concerns about getting older and how that looks now as opposed to BC (before caregiving). If we are not careful thoughts can overrun us and charge our emotions with fear.

That's why this morning I turned my meditation to a scripture that I taught my kids when they were little. It's Psalm 56:3 and it simply says what time I am afraid, I will trust in You. It was written by an adult David while he was not faring too well in battle. What? David was afraid too? Is that possible? We are so conditioned to think that it is a grave sin to be afraid of anything - and so we tend to secretly shake and try to keep our deepest fears hidden. Well, let me be the first to admit: I am Afraid!

There is no sin in being afraid - and it's not lack of faith. The sin is in relying on man to save us instead of trusting in the Lord. David didn't say "I'll never be afraid." He said when I am afraid I will trust. We will get nowhere and remain emotionally immature until we can admit our own feelings of fear and helplessness. And really, until we can get there - we won't trust Him!

So today - I will admit my fears; I will share them with Him. And then - you got it - once again - I will trust in Him.

Who's Expecting?

There are a lot of scriptures about waiting on God. David used the phrase many times throughout the Psalms. A good book on waiting is Andrew Murray's Waiting on God. It's a 30 day devotional which uses a different scripture that pertains to waiting on Him for each day's devotion. It seems to me that for the caregiver there is a lot of that. For that matter, throughout our life time we will find ourselves in a situation where all we can do is wait on Him..

Psalm 37:7 says to wait patiently on Him. In all honesty, I must say that my waiting many times is far from patient. It's more whining, angry and frustrated waiting that eventually yields to a quiet and patient waiting!

But Micah 7:7 talks about waiting expectantly on the Lord. My first question of course would be expecting what? When my son was first injured I was waiting for the Lord to come in on a white horse and rescue us from the situation. Of course, that never happened...What are we waiting on then, if it's not to be rescued from the trial?

We wait on Him for hope itself many times. The next verse here in Micah talks about how we may dwell in darkness, but the Lord is a light for me! We wait for Him to shine His revealing light on our situation, for Him to pour His wisdom in to know how to deal with every situation that comes up every day. We wait for Him before we act out with the medical profession that seems to have forgotten us or is ignoring us! We wait for His peace throughout each trial that presents itself to us as caregivers each and every day.

Today, let us think about waiting on Him for our sustenance, our peace, wisdom to handle situations and our provision. He is more than able to handle our situation - and He is more than able to handle us in the midst of the situation! Trust Him for one more day!

For Those Who Are Alone

Sometimes all we can do is trust. There are lots of questions and rather than providing a nice distraction,holidays seem to create more dilemmas and questions than answers. It can be funny if you want it to - if you can lighten up a little bit. If you think about it long enough and how difficult it can be to get through even just a normal day - and then add to that the hectic-ism of the holiday plus the fact that everyone else thinks we should be excited about it - it really is kinda funny!

This is for all of those who are overwhelmed by the holidays rather than enjoying them. Perhaps you have found yourself alone once again; or maybe it is insurmountable situations that are nagging at your heart. Yeah, sure everyone thinks you are supposed to be happy just because it's Christmas - but that is really only in the movies. Santa Claus doesn't really come! lol! And a cheerful heart doesn't magically appear! So how do you hold on in the season where everyone else is rejoicing and caught up a materialistic cyclone? And we know our days do not change?

 We continue to trust Him. Even on days when it doesn't all work out like in the movies. Psalm 34:22 says that those who trust in Him will not be ashamed. Honestly, we may not know what that looks like in the picture of our own lives - but one thing is sure - we will continue to trust. We will do it whether alone or with others; whether we see our own answers or not! Today - we are not alone no matter what we are facing. We must simply make up our minds that it is better to trust Him, period! So let us trust Him today right in the middle of our situations. He will carry us through.

Waiting in Silence

Have you ever just waited in silence for God? A lot of times I find myself whining, screaming and crying at Him! But there are those times when words for whatever reason just do not seem appropriate, or they seem unnecessary. Like there is some sort of mutual understanding. I do not need words, I just know that He understands my painful heart. Perhaps that is what David was sensing when he penned Psalm 62:1. He speaks of waiting in silence for the Lord.

 David speaks twice here about waiting in silence before the Lord. He says one time it is because his hope is from Him and the other his salvation is from Him. But then two other times David says this: He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken. That's in verse 5, but in verse 2 he says I will not be greatly shaken. I do not know about you but there is a great shaking of the faith when tragedy strikes. At least it is perceived as a shaking of faith - circumstances only shake what we have been taught about faith. But faith remains. We still trust Him; we still believe His promises... so it's not our faith that is shaken as much as what we believe about our faith.

 Today let us meditate on God, our hope and salvation. He is certainly our rock and our stronghold. Here we are still trusting Him, still pursuing Him, still loving Him...in the midst of adversity. Isn't that what faith is all about? Let us trust Him today.

The Hidden King

Psalm 57 has been a passage that I have held on to for many years now. I was sick in 1987 with a mystery illness that none of the many doctors ever figured out. All we know is everyone thought I was going to die and then one day I started slowly getting better, obviously touched by His hand. During that time I discovered Psalm 57:1 - Be merciful unto me O Lord, be merciful unto me for my soul trusts in You, and in the shadow of Your wings I will take refuge until these calamities are past. Well, eventually the calamity passed but in the process I did learn much about trusting Him and hiding in His shelter.

 The other verse in this Psalm that sticks out to me is verse 7. David (hiding in the cave from King Saul) starts out by talking about hiding in the Lord's shelter and in this verse it seems to me that he is making a declaration about his own heart. The hiding king states: my heart is steadfast, O God, my heart is steadfast...I will sing, yes, I will sing praises! To me he is declaring that no matter how bleak his outward circumstances are looking he will remain steadfast, trusting in the Lord and he's even gonna sing!

I think it might read more like this if I was penning the psalm I will sing? yes...I will sing. Singing does not seem to match the situation does it? Here is the future king - and he knows it! - hiding from a mad man yet determined to stay hidden in God and to keep his heart steadfast before Him...and even thinking about singing in the cave!

He then encourages himself and tells his soul to wake up! and give thanks. He did not thank God for the cave. He did not thank God for riches, peace or health. He thanked God for the things in his life that remain even while hiding in a cave. Think about it - he certainly did not feel rich, there was no peace in the natural, and he was not too concerned about getting out to the gym that morning or eating a well balanced diet. It was far less than perfect circumstances by our American standards.

 So he began to thank God for some of His constants....His lovingkindness and His truth. Two things that never change or fail in the face of life's circumstances. So maybe we feel hidden in a cave brought about by life's harsh circumstances; let us rejoice today in His truth and His mercy that never fail!

Just Like Everyone Else

The life of a caregiver is certainly not an easy one! Yet I am sure that there are far worse circumstances to have to deal with. But this can be a lonely and painful walk. Each day can present various situations that must be overcome; obstacles that seem insurmountable.But we are still breathing; and we are still caregiving - so we must still be learning to trust in Him to take us one more day! Challenging pretty much sums up our lives, doesn't it? lol!

 I have found that just because my life is lived in a cave of adversity, it does not exempt me from the requirements laid out in the Word. So far I have not found one time when there was a command given and special stipulations were given for caregivers; or any other sufferers for that matter. (but I am still looking! lol!) Jesus did not say give to those who ask and do not turn away from those who want to borrow - unless you are a caregiver in which case you don't have to worry about it! It does not read like that anywhere! We still have the same solid word, the same constant commands to follow as everyone else. But this is good - because it also means that we have His peace, comfort and joy accessible to us - just like everyone else!

 So when I read this scripture in Philipians this morning I knew that we do not get a "break" just because we are caregivers: In everything you do, stay away from complaining and arguing so that no one can speak a word of blame against you. You are to live clean, innocent lives as children of God in a dark world full of crooked and perverse people. (Philippians 2:14) We do not get an exception on this command even though we live in adversity!

 If we are not careful (maybe I should just say if I am not careful) it is easy to complain about many things. We have lost many things in life that brought us to the journey of caregiving. It is so very important to train our minds to find the things to be thankful for each day. So today instead of letting the situation get us down - let us turn our focus onto the way He has provided for us in the situation. Let us concentrate and meditate on His peace, His love and His care for us even in the midst of life's ongoing storm.

Bad News Bears

Did you ever read a scripture and find it upsetting instead of comforting? I do sometimes but given enough time I can work back through to peace! lol!

 I was reading through Psalm 112 this morning and came across a frustrating verse; actually, two of them in the same psalm! Verse 4 and 6 stuck out to me and my first response was to whine. (I know I am the only one who ever does that!) Actually verse7 caught my eye first: They do not fear bad news; they confidently trust the Lord to care for them. My first thought was I got bad news...that's how I became a caregiver.

 But after I read through the entire psalm a time or two my thinking finally balanced out somewhat. First of all, it does not say they won't ever get  bad news...but that there is no fear in the bad news. And that is followed up by the act of confidently trusting the Lord...even after bad news. It's a matter of trusting Him through whatever life may bring...not avoiding anything we perceive as bad.

Then verse 4 says:When darkness overtakes the godly, light will come bursting in. My first thought here was is that possible? For darkness to over take the godly? Not the sinner, nor the unbeliever but the godly. I found that an interesting statement. Being godly and walking righteously before God does not exempt us from life's situations, trials, or troubles. But the promise is that even when we are overtaken by circumstance and cannot see - His light will come bursting in! I think I like that AND I will watch for His light to break up the darkness that pursues.

 It's all about trust isn't it?

Call to Intimacy

By the time you actually become a caregiver there's already been some sort of big ordeal in your life. You're not going to wake up in the morning and say, "I'm a caregiver now." Some series of events had to have happened that placed you in the position to chose it. Something, sometime had to of broken your heart...for each of us although the journey is similar - they are all uniquely different at the same time.

No matter what catapulted us to the place of caregiving, it had to hurt. And many times caregiving bears with it a hurt that does not go away...it's a living pain so deep it cannot be explained. No one can really understand it. No one can fix it. No one can make it go away...it's just there underneath the surface. The pain of being a caregiver is many faceted...because somewhere in the mix we lost our own lives in the shuffle.

Psalm 34:18 says this to us today The Lord is near the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Today, lay aside all the questions and the whys - you know - why didn't He fix this? type questions... and let your heart hear His heart for you. He is near - allow Him to be near you today. Don't move away...I see this scripture as a distinct call to intimacy with Him once again. Take a few minutes and think about what this already terrible journey would have been like if we didn't know Him. There would be absolutely no hope - anywhere - not even with the end of life - without Him...

Take some time to be near Him today - to allow Him to touch the damaged recesses of your heart - let Him heal the pains that no one has ever had any idea about. Let Him carry you today..He is near.

Stir it Up!

One of the most discussed topics at online caregiver support groups is the loneliness. It seems to be a common thread that runs through the very core of the pain and heaviness that comes with the territory. And for many it comes because of the lack of ability to get out. For some it's possible to get out on occasion, but so difficult and challenging it's just not practical. So there is not too much contact with the outside world...and that means no church attendance either. This can be draining for the caregiver.

That means that Bible study, devotions and fellowship with God is even more necessary. Sure, there may not be a "Christian support group" (which can be the role the church plays for many) to encourage us in our walk, and even though it's not necessary for our spiritual growth, it would be nice! But once again it's left solely in our hands to stir ourselves up to seek the Lord. Honestly, it's an individual thing for everyone, not just the caregiver.

This scripture in Isaiah 64:7 about stirring oneself up is in the middle of a cry for help from the prophet Isaiah. He's really asking God to tear the heavens apart and come to His people, come rescue them and let His presence be known. Verse 4 says this from days of old they have not heard or perceived by ear, nor has the eye seen a God besides You, who acts in behalf of the one who waits for Him. He goes on to talk about how God meets those who wait for Him and then he comes to verse 7 - where he says he hasn't seen anyone who would arouse himself to take hold of God.

There are two key things for our meditation today. One, that God acts on behalf of those who wait for Him; and two we can stir ourselves up to take hold of Him. There are no stipulations to these two actions - no unless you are in a difficult situation, and no but if's either. It's plain and simple, it's in our power even in our pain to take hold of Him and walk with Him.And as we wait for Him , He will show Himself strong on our behalf. Take time today to take hold of Him.

Where Did Everyone Go?

Psalm 139 is a greatly used psalm, but we mostly use it to tell our children how special they are to God. So special of course that they were wonderfully made, and how God was watching and supervising their growth in the womb. However, this psalm is for adults too! God did not abandon us when we got older did He?

The Psalm begins with out intimately acquainted God is with our ways. Some days, honestly, that seems a little intrusive, don't you think? It can be scary to think that He knows our thoughts even before they are formed! He knows our thoughts, our words, our works and even our every movement!

Now the point is of course, not that God is watching over us to whop us if we make a wrong move; it's more that He is so deeply concerned about us that He is constantly keeping a watch on our soul. In a time in our lives (as caregivers)when we can feel so very abandoned and alone...He is still watching.

Maybe we do not understand where everyone went. When tragedy first strikes we are surrounded with caring people who are willing to do anything to help. But it seems that this is only true if it does not disrupt their schedule or if your situation doesn't go on too terribly long. But long after they've gone on with their lives here we are still holding on...and it can be a very lonely place.

But God is so constantly aware of where we are. He has not abandoned us and he will not walk away because our load gets too heavy for Him to bear. When every one else forsakes - He is still there! He will bring us comfort and peace. Take a moment today to sit down for just 5 minutes (and I know that's hard to find!) and think about His ever-abiding presence even in your situation...He's there!

Total Trust

Just about the time I get totally underneath the load of caregiving and feel I have totally lost my life...my Bible reading program takes me to Job! I cannot even imagine what it must have felt like to receive all that news all in one day. Totally overcome by grief in every area of life has got to be more than anyone can bear. Yet he fell to his knees and worshiped God. I cannot say that's always (or ever) been my initial response.

Then Job gets physically ill on top of all his losses. When his friends came to visit (now that's an idea) they didn't even recognize him and sat with him speechless for days. There's really nothing to be said in the time of intense calamity is there?

Job made a statement though that I have thought for a long time exhibits total trust. The faith-ers of the 70's gave Job a bum rap and said he lacked faith. However, I think the one phrase is full of more faith than I have seen anywhere in my lifetime. Job said, though God slay me - yet I will trust Him. It seems so contrary to faith to think that God would indeed slay us - wipe us out -- you know? But Job said pretty much no matter what God does - I will trust Him in and through it all!

I don't even hope to come close to that kind of faith. I have whined, cried, fussed and even feuded with God during my ordeal. However, I can always come back to the basics. He is God, and I am not. For the Christian there really is no other choice but to trust Him with whatever is allowed. That's not an easy thing to work through - however, once the choice is made, I can feel Him helping me carry the load. So let's trust Him together today with whatever life brings!