Showing posts with label weeping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weeping. Show all posts

Sometimes I Feel Two-Faced!

As a caregiver life can be ambiguous in that we are certain that we are uncertain. But this week in my studies I found that we are in very good company.I frequently read Psalm 119 as I find it very encouraging and it always points my heart back to His word. This week a couple of  verses in particular caught my attention.

In verses 27 and 28 (NLT) the psalmist has that sort of ambiguous tone. The end of verse 27 states I will meditate on your wonderful miracles; but the very next verse starts with I weep with grief...And of course true to David's nature he has these two phrases sandwiched between thoughts about the Word.

I found that sometimes this oddity describes the way we can feel. On the one hand, we are so thankful for all that God has done.We have done several devotions about being thankful in the midst of our furnace where we take time to purposefully find things (some days are more difficult than others) to thank Him for. Thankful for small progresses or that the aide actually showed up; perhaps long awaited supplies finally arrived, or just thankful that He gave us breath and strength to face another day.

And then in the next moment we may be weeping with grief over the situation or out of compassion for our suffering loved one. When I find passages like this one, it helps me feel at least like I am somewhat normal. It's okay to thank Him with one breath and wonder what's going on with the next - it's the nature of the situation.But our final answer lies a couple of verses further down.

Verse 30 says: I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by Your laws.Today let us determine to walk in His word no matter what our circumstances look like. Even in those ambiguous moments where we feel joy and grief at the same time - let us turn to His word for our comfort.  Let us recall that He is walking through this furnace with us so we will not lose heart.

Waiting in Silence

Have you ever just waited in silence for God? A lot of times I find myself whining, screaming and crying at Him! But there are those times when words for whatever reason just do not seem appropriate, or they seem unnecessary. Like there is some sort of mutual understanding. I do not need words, I just know that He understands my painful heart. Perhaps that is what David was sensing when he penned Psalm 62:1. He speaks of waiting in silence for the Lord.

 David speaks twice here about waiting in silence before the Lord. He says one time it is because his hope is from Him and the other his salvation is from Him. But then two other times David says this: He only is my rock and my salvation, my stronghold; I shall not be shaken. That's in verse 5, but in verse 2 he says I will not be greatly shaken. I do not know about you but there is a great shaking of the faith when tragedy strikes. At least it is perceived as a shaking of faith - circumstances only shake what we have been taught about faith. But faith remains. We still trust Him; we still believe His promises... so it's not our faith that is shaken as much as what we believe about our faith.

 Today let us meditate on God, our hope and salvation. He is certainly our rock and our stronghold. Here we are still trusting Him, still pursuing Him, still loving Him...in the midst of adversity. Isn't that what faith is all about? Let us trust Him today.

Don't Weep For Me

No one would argue with the fact that the life of a caregiver is difficult. There's just so many responsibilities on top of the normal ones like cooking, cleaning...and breathing! It takes a sort of a mastermind to get it all done in a day sometimes...don't you agree? (okay - at least organization and willpower!)

 Although none of us would ever chose to walk this way if some sort of tragedy had not happened, there are some things I think we have all learned along the troubled path. Even in the daily turmoil, there's a calm understanding of God as our refuge...as our strength...our comforter...our source...our peace...our love. These are things we might not have been able to take the time to find out before in our (what we thought were) busy lives!

 Joel 3:16b says the Lord is a refuge for His people, and a stronghold for the children of Israel. I only thought I knew of His safety before; and I would have never know what a strong refuge He is --before. And although I am (honestly) not thankful that my son had an accident; I am so very thankful to know God in a more intimate way.

 So don't weep for me...each day this terrible trial presses forward tearing away at what I thought I had left of my life...I draw closer to HIm. I learn more about His ways...I know Him better. In these types of situations it is imperative that we find the positives and major on those. Other wise we can be sucked into the great vacuum of depression. Today think about how you know Him better than you did yesterday. Think about the level of trust you have in Him now - how much you trust Him as the refuge for your soul.

 Don't weep for me...weep for those who do not know Him as their refuge. Weep for those who do not know that they can run to Him and be safe. (Prov 18:10) Take time to rest in Him today and thank Him for being there in your deepest trail and darkest days. Then live in the light of today!

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...