Showing posts with label trials. Show all posts
Showing posts with label trials. Show all posts

Set Up the Tent!

 


This morning, I found myself in Psalm 118. I was actually headed to Psalm 119. I know it's the longest chapter in the Bible, but man is it rich! But before I could get to it, my eyes fell on the column before. I read verse 15 of Psalm 118 which says this: The voice of rejoicing and salvation is in the tents of the righteous. I paused to think about this for a little bit and focused on three words: rejoicing, salvation, and righteous.

It just kind of makes sense that rejoicing and salvation belong in the tents of the righteous. But I backed up a few verses and found out that the writer just stated that the enemy had surrounded him. Verses 10 through 13 painted a rather dire picture with a glimpse of faith and light. The psalmist says all nations surrounded me - but in the name of the Lord I will destroy them. They surrounded me, yes they surrounded me; but in the name of the Lord I will destroy them. They surrounded me like bees...

Talk about feeling pressed on every side! Ever feel that way? Boy, I do! Our tasks and responsibilities can feel overwhelming as caregivers. We can feel surrounded for sure - pay this bill, make this appointment, order these supplies, etc. At times, it can be our emotions that surround us - who needs an "enemy"? Caregivers can feel overwhelmed with pain, grief, and fear. It can seem like our emotions are pulling us this way and that. Now, obviously, we don't want to "destroy" our emotions. lol. But we do know that when we feel surrounded, we have a refuge. We have a safe place to go - and that is our salvation, isn't it? I can't tell you how many times I've dumped my emotional overload on God's broad shoulders. And you know what, He's never rejected them or handed them back. 

Even when we are surrounded, overwhelmed, or uncertain we can still rejoice. How is that? Well, I'm glad you asked. I thought about his phrase for a while this morning. The voice of rejoicing and salvation are in the tents of the righteous. Even the caregiver's tent! How could that be? Because our righteousness is His gift to us. His salvation is a free gift to us - it just costs us a bit of faith, which He also gave to us.(Romans 12:3) The things God gives us cannot be taken away or shaken by circumstances. No matter how dire or difficult our situations become while we are on this earth - His free gifts stand. And that is cause for rejoicing!

Nothing can remove His salvation, His hope, His peace, His righteousness. His work is complete and secure - and in that, I can rejoice!

Today, I will set my mind on the things He has done that cannot be changed. I'll meditate on His righteousness, His peace, and His love. I'll think about how He doesn't withdraw any of His gifts or promises from caregivers. There will be rejoicing in my tent today as I think about His great love for me. There may even be a little bit of singing and shouting as I realize that His love for me is so secure tragedy, trials, or tribulation cannot shake it! Man, that's awesome! I'll think about His steadfast love all day as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?


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I Will declarations book cover


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Completely Complete

 

Chris and I at the Bluff Park Trails

Last night I started a Zoom Bible study. We are studying the book of James. As I was preparing to teach the lesson, I got stuck in verse 4 of the first chapter. Remember that James is writing to the persecuted church, the Jewish Christians in particular. He was encouraging them in the middle of their tribulation. He encouraged them to find joy and be patient. That doesn't seem fair, does it? lol - As caregivers, we have a lot to do and I did not put those two items on my to-do list for today. My list looks more like survive and don't throat punch anyone. lol

I thought about that for quite some time. The audacity to write to people under extreme stress and tell them to be patient and joyous. (lol) Then, James says to let patience have its perfect work so that you can be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. (NKJ) Here's what really stood out to me. James was in essence explaining that God was still working in and for them, even in the midst of horrible persecution. He told them they could be 

  • Perfect (mature)
  • Complete (whole)
  • Lacking Nothing...
Even in the middle of their struggles. I began to think about this scripture as if James had written the letter to caregivers. It would read the same, right? Let patience have its perfect work so that you, caregivers can be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. I almost cried thinking about the promise of wholeness, completeness, and no lack we are NOT denied as caregivers. Even though we live in some tough circumstances - God still completes us. He still fills us. He is still our shepherd so we lack nothing - have no want. 

Our struggles, circumstances, difficulties, or surroundings do not and cannot deny us access to the God of the earth! Every promise in His word is still ours! He doesn't deny us even one thing because we are caregivers, we still get the whole package of grace, peace, salvation, and everything else. We are complete even in our broken circumstances. 

Today, I will turn my thoughts toward this completeness and wholeness we have in Him - even in our circumstances. My meditations will be on how He continues to pour His peace and presence out for us and on us so that we lack literally nothing. No good thing does He withhold from those who love Him - He never excludes us from good gifts because life is tough. He draws near to the brokenhearted. I'll meditate on all the things He gives rather than what life feels like it's lacking. I will trust Him with today - and rest in this God who completes us - will you join me?


Three Altars



This year one thing I’ve purposed to do is read the entire Bible through again. I have done this many times in years gone by. But life happens and things change and I although I’ve read, I haven’t read it through in a year in a long time. As always, different things stand out. I’m three days in, three altars have been built each day I’ve read. I noted the first two, but when there was one in today’s passage, it caused me to pause and think.

The first altar mentioned in the Bible is right after the flood. When Noah and his family exited the ark, he built an altar. God’s response to this act of worship was to make a covenant with Noah and promise to never destroy the earth again with floods.

The second altar mentioned was built by Abraham in Geneses 12:7. The Lord had spoken to him to leave his family and he headed for Canaan. Once Abraham reached the Oak of Moreh, God appeared to him and promised him that his descendants would inherit the land of Canaan. Abraham built an altar in response. He then continued to travel on to camp between Bethel and Ai. This time he built an altar with no purpose attached except to call on the name of the Lord.

It seems to me that every time these heroes of faith moved or went through, they built an altar in worship. What can we as common caregivers take away from that? First off, I’m not suggesting going out in your backyard and building an altar! Lol. But I believe an altar represents to us on this side of the New Covenant a dedicated place of worship. As caregivers, every day we “go through.” Each day we face often seemingly insurmountable odds. But we are still in the game. We are still pushing forward, still pursuing Him. That’s monumental enough to merit an altar – in our hearts.

Today, I purpose to build an altar in my heart, a dedicated place of worship to thank God for His continuing promises to me, those ones that didn’t expire when I became a caregiver. I’ll turn my thoughts and my heart toward worship today in a new way as I let my heart become the altar and my life become the sacrifice, even in the midst of the mess. I’ll be thankful I can still worship in spirit, in purity, and in truth and rejoice that life’s circumstances cannot take that away. My heart will bow before Him today as I thank Him for one more day to serve and trust Him. Will you join me?


Count it all What?

This morning I started reading in James as I prepare another study guide. I read through the first few verses, sighed and moved on. Then a friend shared her devotional for the day and it was on the exact same verse. So, I thought maybe I should camp there awhile.

In James 1:2 we are reminded to count it all joy when we fall into different trials. It doesn't say if...it says when. I get that- you know - something's always going on. and for caregivers, it's a daily struggle to make ends meet emotionally, financially, mentally and physically. But do I have to consider it joy?

Well, if you'll read it again, it's not talking about being joyous because of the trial, it's because of the result. It's the testing of our faith that will produce endurance. I can testify that this is true. I've talked a lot about a redefined faith - one that sustains us. It's that deep-felt heart-abiding faith that won't let you give up. The same one that can honestly be frustrating when you really want to give up but just can't because of the rock of faith in your heart.

When endurance (or patience depending on your translation) is allowed to finish its work - we will be perfect. I was excited until I realized that word actually means "mature."

But this morning as I read this familiar passage, I noticed something "new" to me. In verse five, James starts with "but...." I've always heard it's not proper to start a sentence with a conjunction, but James did. I'm sure he did it for a reason. But if you lack wisdom... That's when it hit me - the conjunction, "but" is powerful right here. He basically says - count it all joy for your trials because it's working in you to grow your faith to maturity... but if you don't have the wisdom to follow that through - then ask God for it.

I certainly pray I have the wisdom to let this trial deepen my faith. One of my initial prayers was that I'd be able to find my way to stay strong in Him and follow His call in the midst of it all. I pray that for all of us today. Only a caregiver understands the heart issues we face. The dark night of the soul that caregiving can be - and the joyous intimacy with God that deepens when we pursue Him.

Today, I will meditate on how He has walked this journey with me and taken the time to develop my faith and trust even in the midst of the trial. My thoughts will be on how I can change and grow rather than avoid the painful journey. I'll be thankful that He didn't abandon me at any point and that He keeps on unfolding His word in my heart as I seek Him. I'll continue to seek Him as I trust Him for one more day.Will you join me?

Lion Hearts

Sorry to be MIA of late - I had my plate full last week as my mom was staying with me for a few days. She has some sort of dementia and requires lots of TLC right now so it was my pleasure to have her stay with me. However, it meant that my plate, which was already full, was piled just a little fuller. So I did what I could to keep my head above water.....so I went missing.

Over the last few weeks, my mind and heart have been busy processing stuff. Life, really. And as usual, there are tons of things going through my head and heart all at the same time. When I wake up in the morning it seems like my head is already going a hundred miles an hour, and maybe more! I have no idea what the series of thoughts were that brought me to the passage in Daniel, but I'm sure it was a logical sequence.

I opened my Bible to Daniel 3, verse 17. This is where Daniel's three friends were facing the fiery furnace. It's their statement - their dedication to the fire that piqued my interest this morning. They said  our God is able to deliver us from the blazing fire; and He will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But even if He does not, be it known to you O king, that we are not going to serve your gods or worship the golden image you have set up.

My thoughts were mostly wrapping around their tenacity and dedication to the fire. They were not looking for a way out - but were tenaciously saying they would gladly walk through the fire rather than give up to other gods.

I kind of see caregivers that way. There's this dedication to the journey, you know? We are going to continue to walk in the fire not expecting God to deliver us out. If He does - great. But if not - we will not bow or give in to the pressure. We will still serve Him. Isn't that partly why you are here right now reading this blog?

Many days we are strong and our faith seems to carry us through. Other days we are looking for a thread of hope and wondering if we have the strength to hold on. But when we feel life push us to give in - something stands up inside of us and boldly proclaims: I'm not bowing to the pressure. I'll walk through this fire - but not give up on God.

Same tenacity. Same dedication. Same boldness and power that we have admired in Daniel's friends, isn't it? I know we don't like seeing ourselves that way. For the most part, we are like - hey, I do what I gotta do to make it. And that is true - but inside there's this lion that is seeking God's heart. And we are not giving up - even in our fiery circumstance - until we find Him.

And where exactly do we find Him? Right there in the furnace with us. Yup - He's walking through the fiery trials alongside each of us. Isaiah 43:1-2 says this:

But now, thus says the Lord Your creator, O Jacob,
and He who formed you O Israel,
Do not fear, for I have redeemed you;
I have called you by name, you are Mine!
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
and through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
nor will the flame burn you. 
For I am the Lord your God 
The Holy One of Israel....

Sometimes I'm sad because He didn't promise us a ticket out. He said we'd pass through waters, rivers and fire. We are not exempt. However, He also said He'd be with us in them. And that's what I am holding on to today.

Today I'm going to rejoice that He didn't leave me to face the fire alone. I choose to be thankful He is in the floods with me. My mind will be on the truth that He's a furnace walker too - because He's in there with us. My meditations will be on His choice to never leave us - and to carry us when necessary. Just like I choose to walk with Him - He chooses to walk with me. I like that and it will be my meditation today as I trust Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Onward! (Wherever that may be!)

One foot in front of the other. How many times have I used that phrase to explain to people how I "do it"? Something just kicks in and you do what you have to do; and you just keep on doing it. I guess it is moving forward - or going "onward," but it can feel like we are going around in circles. Continuously. Never ending.

It can feel like everyday is the same as the day before with the exact same chores to do. You know the drill. There's bathing, transferring, dressing, feeding, transferring again, laundry, and ton of little chores to do that make the bigger ones easier. Eventually, even the little surprises become part of the routine. You know those things all too well too. There's case managers who forget to order supplies, or can't get the order right....ever, aides that don't show up the day you finally decided to go do something, or nurses trying to cram all her visits in during the last week of the month. Those are just a few of the things that I can think of off the top of my head. It sometimes feels (to me) like we face the giant every day.

David only faced one Goliath, Daniel only visited the lion's den once, it can feel like we face Goliaths and lion's dens every day sometimes. These are just a couple favorite Bible stories we like to share, stories where God made a victor out of a common person. There are other stories demonstrating God's sustaining power too. For instance, Noah only built one ark, but it took him years. Job was only sick one time, but it wasn't just a one day thing; and he never got his kids back. Gideon and Joshua faced battle after battle - there was never just one battle and it was over. Even David spent years running from Saul's spear until he finally became king. And of course there's Joseph who was betrayed by his brothers and spent years in slavery and prison before he ever saw the throne God promised. But all these faithful men walked onward in their faith no matter what they faced. We can too.

We can continue to move forward in our faith even though every day presents obstacles before us. Whether it is the one-time looming giant or sticking with the building of an ark, we can press on into Him. I'm not saying it's always (or ever) easy, but if these guys can hold to the faith in the situations they faced on a daily basis, we can too. Even if we don't see an end in sight. Just like God was there for them in whatever it was they faced, He's here for us too. And that's why we can continue to push onward.

It can be difficult since we can't see how our story ends yet. News flash: they couldn't either. We can read their whole stories in the matter of a few minutes and forget that they walked it out over years. But they held on to faith in Him. All those years in a dark dungeon didn't stop  Joseph from believing. As a matter of fact when he was dying - he told them they were to take his bones with him when they left Egypt. He never gave up hope - even in death.

Today my goal will be to stay focused on Him rather than my situation. My meditations will be on His ever abiding presence that does not leave my faith stranded. I can always trust in Him to keep my soul. I will turn my thoughts to how He continues to walk this walk with me - I don't go onward (wherever that may lead) without Him. We are inseparable. So today I will think about how inseparable God and I are - will you join me?

What Makes a Conqueror?

This photo is from an obstacle race I did a couple years ago. It doesn't show it, but I had climbed up on a wall of hay bales. If you notice, I'm covered in mud because I'd just come through the deep, thick mud pit. Then I reached the very tall wall built solely out of large bales of hay. I climbed to the top and felt like I'd won even though I had a few feet left to go.

Why did I feel so victorious? Because I had come through lots of obstacles already. I knew I was nearing the end and was going to get a finisher's medal. At that point in time, I was a conqueror! I had beat all the obstacles but just needed to walk across the finish line.

What made me feel like a winner? I certainly wasn't, and never will be, the first person across the finish line. I was literally on top of the world because of what I had just come through.

This morning in my devotions, I stopped to think about a scripture I came across in Proverbs. The New Living Translation put chapter 14 verses 26 and 27 like this: Those who fear the Lord are secure; He will be a place of refuge for their children. Fear of the Lord is a life giving fountain; it offers escape from the snares of death. I thought about these two scriptures quite a while, and here's what I came up with.

Verse 26 talks about being secure because of the fear of the Lord. As a caregiver, I first question this as God didn't save me from caregiving. But then it says He is a refuge for my children. What I took away from that is when my daughter sees me relying fully on God - she learns to trust too. It can be the same with spiritual children and other onlookers as well. Our testimony isn't that we escaped the obstacles - it's that we are daily overcoming them to continue to trust in Him! Others see that and realize when they face struggles - He can be their refuge too.

Verse 27 speaks of fearing God being a life-giving fountain. I could stay on that for awhile, but the last part of the verse is what stood out to me. We are saved from the snares of death - not the snares or trials or pitfalls of life - but snares of death. Our eternity is secure no matter what we face in life. We face absolutely no fear in death - our souls are secured in Him.

Today I will meditate on how He is the keeper of my soul. I'll see my struggles today as obstacles I must go through so I can be a conqueror. I will think about how He can use them to make me and my faith stronger. And I'm going to think about how great it felt to be on top of the hay stacks - covered with mud- because I had overcome the obstacles - not gone around them. My thoughts will be on how He makes me an overcomer in everything I face. And I will be grateful for His presence in my life today. Will you join me?





Only One Word

I've always been intrigued by the story of Job in the Bible. When I was younger I didn't really get it; but as life unfolded it made more sense. And even though I would never even try to compare my situation to the hardship Job endured, I feel like in a small way I can relate to some of Job's experience. I have been known to look at people with open mouth and a blank stare when they compare themselves to Job and all they have is something like a broken fingernail or a flat tire. Ever hear one of those stories? Their car broke down or something and they are claiming they understand Job. And I'm like, really?

I'd have to say a caregiver's life is not nearly on the scale of what Job went through but it does help bring some understanding. Sadly, I'll never be able to say I didn't "sin with my mouth" during my journey of faith, but I can say I've always come back around to trusting God. Maybe that's the important part....

Here's what I was thinking about Job this morning. I skimmed through some of the discourse between he and his friends and still find ignorance amazing. Poor Job. Here he was having lost literally everything and now his friends are grieving him more by telling him it's all his fault because he had to have sinned somehow. I will say on this caregiving journey I had feelings that God must be punishing me and that there was some way I had displeased Him or He would not have allowed it to happen. Of course, as I read through all our Bible heroes I realized we all face something.

So I don't know how long Job was bullied by his friends and kept denying he'd done something wrong, but what I noted is that when God spoke - He said not one word about it. He didn't tell them Job was cool and his friends were crazy. When He finally spoke up He asked them Where were you?  I love chapter 38 as God describes HIS account of creation and how He set the boundaries for the waters of the earth and told "their proud waves" they could only come so far! These last chapters of Job are powerful as God and Job interact with God asking the questions and Job having no answers.

Then at the very end of chapter 42 God instructs Job's friends to go offer a sacrifice and have Job pray for them. How humbling that must have been for them after all they put Job through. And verse 8 sums it all up- God says to the friends: My servant Job will pray for you, and I will accept his prayer on your behalf. I will not treat you as you deserve, for you have not been right in what you said about me, as my servant Job was. (NLT)

All that talking they did and God told them they were wrong in what they said about Him, and Job was right. That's all Job got - just that little phrase. But it was one word from God! And it was enough. By looking at God's answer to Job and his friends, I have to think Job was so confident in his relationship with God that he never questioned it. He knew he was righteous no matter what life hurled at him.

Today I am going to meditate on how God's righteousness is enough to cover me during the trial. My thoughts will be on how my righteousness is in Christ and there is nothing in heaven or in earth that can remove it from me. And I'm going to confidently rest in Him today. Will you join me?

What do you see?

I have a love-hate relationship with James 1:2. I love it because it's in the Word of God; but I hate it that I have to do it! Some days I don't want to "count it all joy." I'm sure no one else feels that way, I mean after all as believers we are not supposed to feel different than what the Word says. But there, I said it. Sometimes I can't see past my situation to find any joy at all. But maybe that's why verse 5 follows.

In my mind this first chapter of James has always been all divided up into nuggets. Verses 2-3 explain how we are to address the trying of our faith through the various trials and difficulties we face in our lives. And then verses 5-6 tell us to go ask for wisdom. Two totally separate actions, right?

This weekend as I was watching Francis Chan on YouTube (that was our Sunday morning "church" service!), something he said allowed me to connect these two sections. We are supposed to be able to find joy in our trials since they are working in us spiritual maturity and eternal rewards. Verse 5 is not a tag-along scripture - it's what we do when we can't see it.

For me life as a caregiver has been crippling socially, emotionally and even spiritually on some levels. If I am not careful (and most of the time I'm not.) I can be blinded by my situation and fail to see what God is after. I fail to see what He is working in me because of what is going on around me. I have felt like those in Psalm 137 who hung their harps in the willow and refused to sing because of their captivity. They said, how can we sing the Lord's song in a foreign land? I have felt that way.

I'm the question queen and I'm full of them. For nearly 7 years now I've asked questions like: How can I go on? Why can't life make sense? Why did God give me dreams in the first place? Will I ever feel whole again? What kind of life is this? And so on. Caregiving for many of us is not like a journey you take until you reach your destination - it just goes on and on  with no end in sight. How do we count that all joy?

I have to go back to Job to find some answers. When he lost it all he said blessed be the name of the Lord. I did not pass that test! We must lift our eyes up beyond our day-to-day grind. Even though our schedules are hectic and repetitive we are going places spiritually. Even though we cannot see it all the time, He is working in us His good pleasure. He has not given up on us and He has not abandoned His project. What He is working in us is eternal. What He is doing in us will last past time - it will endure past what we see before us. He is still alive in us and shaping us into His image.

There is not one scripture that says He cannot work within our situations. He uses our lives to mold us. I had a friend who said God doesn't waste a thing. And I have to agree. When we yield our crazy abnormal lives to His hand - He can make it a thing of beauty. But we will have to look past what we see to what He sees to "get it."

Today I will not let my hectic day block the view of what He is doing in me. As I go through the day I will meditate on the truth that He has not abandoned ship - but He is still at the helm and will take me safely through. And I will choose to rejoice that He is working in me things that will last through eternity. I can't see them here - because they have value in the spiritual realm. I will count it all joy that He is still working in me and on me to bring about His desires. Will you join me?

Less than Perfect

Have you ever had someone tell you that because your loved one wasn't healed you lacked faith? Sadly enough, I have. Yet if we look at all our Bible heroes we'll see that we admire them because of the trials they endured. Each of them give us a picture of how to trust God in adversity; and how to keep faith during intense testing and trials. Adversity is actually the true test of faith. It's in the midst of the trial that we find out just how much we trust God. Can we trust Him when our lives are less than perfect?

The caregiver's life is definitely "less than perfect" if we compare it to others. For some of it caregiving can mean that we are locked up in our own little cave unable to get out and about. For others, there may be some getting out - but there's not quite the freedom we see in the rest of the world. Caregiving can complicate everything on a variety of levels. We can't use the struggles of caregiving to measure our lives. We also cannot use the pleasures of caregiving as an accurate measure of life or faith.

This morning I was thinking about Moses and how he followed the Lord's leading to bring the Children of Israel out of Egypt's bondage. He led the "great escape" and they were free from Pharaoh's grip. But their rejoicing was short lived because they ran smooth into the Red Sea; and Pharaoh's army was closing in behind them.

Just because Moses ran into the Red Sea doesn't mean they were going the wrong direction.

The Red Sea was not a sign that Moses had done anything wrong or made a wrong turn along the way. It simply became an opportunity to trust God more. Moses and the Children of Israel were in a position for God to show Himself strong on their behalf. Caregiving can be a struggle; but it is not a sign of faithlessness or weakness; just an opportunity to trust Him more. It gives us the opportunity to see Him work directly in our lives.

When my son was first injured I thought for sure I'd done something wrong to end up in the situation. But we cannot use struggles and trials to measure ourselves or our lives. Every Bible hero faced something. It shaped them into the hero of faith we admire and enjoy studying today. When we face a Red Sea or an impasse in our lives it's not time to condemn ourselves and wonder what we did wrong; it's just a time to learn to trust Him more.

Today I will meditate on His sustaining mercy. I will think about how He doesn't abandon me when I face a "Red Sea" in my life; but He instructs me and goes with me through the struggles. Today I will thank Him for His wisdom, peace, direction and ever-abiding presence even in the trials. Will you join me?

I'm not Stuck - I'm Going Through

I have read story after story by caregivers who feel like they are carrying the responsibility all alone; and in too many cases, they are. Caregiving can be a lonely walk. Not only are there limitations when it comes to outings, friends don't really know what to do with your new lifestyle either. They don't realize that your likes and dislikes didn't change when you became a caregiver. Did you like playing cards or going to movies before caregiving? Then it is likely that you still do. But sometimes those outings are no longer practical and in some cases they are not possible. You are the same person but your social scene may have changed. This can add to the loneliness that many caregivers experience.

The good news is that even when you feel all alone - you are not. I find myself returning to a favorite passage in Isaiah 43. It says something like this:

When you pass through the waters
I will be with you;
And through the rivers,
they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire
you will not be scorched,
nor will the flame burn you.
For I am the Lord your God...

Caregiving can become a heavy load if we carry it all alone; and we can feel like we are going down for the third time. And realistically, there is a lot to fear. My own fears have involved things like making financial decisions, medical decisions and a whole host of decisions all made for someone else and affecting others. What if I make the wrong decision? It can be a vicious cycle. The good thing is that we are not going through all alone. God is with us!

Notice in Isaiah each phrase includes the word, "through." It doesn't say you are stuck in the water or the fire but when you go through the trials. We are not stuck and we are not going through all alone. He is with us.

This makes me think of Psalm 23:4 where David says even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death - I will fear no evil.  Why? Because You are with me. 

Today I will meditate on the fact that God has not left me hanging in the midst of the trial. He is walking it through with me. I will remind myself that God is with me on this journey and sometimes - He has to carry me. Today I will think about relying more on His strength and less on my own - because quite frankly, mine runs out. Will you join me?

Faith Looks Different In the Furnace

Life brings us a series of trials. Caregivers are not exempt from trials, tribulations and troubles. We don't get a we don't get a break from life just because we are in a caregiving role. Along with taking care of another whole person, we still deal with friendships, breakups, deaths of loved ones, births, marriages and all the incidents that go with life in general. There is no exemption ticket that protects us from the rest of life just because we are a caregiver. And I'm finding that eventually, we adjust.

Most trials will pass in time; or at least settle down enough for us to handle it. The things we end up facing in life have no impact on eternity. It may be rough and tough here in the present, but our inheritance in Him is not tainted or destroyed because of the sometimes lengthy trials we must face. 1 Peter 1:3-4 tells us that we obtain an inheritance that is imperishable, and undefiled and will not fade away.  It is being reserved in heaven for us. It's not going to disappear, we just have to patiently endure tribulations in order to get to it. But it will be waiting in full!

Faith can look different from in the furnace. It's not so much a way to escape the trial as it is to face it.  The furnace exposes our faith. Verse 6 tells us to rejoice in our trials because they prove our faith in the same way fire purifies gold. However, gold is perishable; it will pass away eventually. Our faith is not perishable, it stands through it all making it more precious than gold.

Our faith is working for us while we are enduring our trial. Faith is what carries us through, even when we don't feel it. I was asked recently how I had kept the faith during my trials. My reply was I haven't - it has kept me. Faith is what holds us together when it seems our world is falling apart. Faith is what carries us through the flood, through the fire and over the mountain. It really doesn't matter if we can feel it or not - it's there with us and working for us. Today may be a good day for you - or you may feel like you are holding on by a thin thread of hope. Either way - or somewhere in between faith is working for you to ensure you can walk through the furnace; to make sure you get to the other side.

Faith comes down to trusting Him. Today I will meditate on how trustworthy God is. I will trust Him with my situation and hold on to the truth that He walks through the furnace with me. I will think about how faith cannot be destroyed even by the most intense of life's fires. I will trust Him. Will you join me?

Measure for Measure

Before I was officially a "caregiver" I lived in an ICU waiting room for three weeks and then in a hospital room with my son for another 3 1/2 months. I had flown in from another state and there was no "home" to return to. One thing I noticed was the instant connection all of the people hanging out in the waiting rooms had. We shared stories, food, laughter and tears; yet we had never met before whatever trauma had brought us in.

We understood each other. One event had turned our lives upside down and even though we had never met we became instantly bonded with one another. I felt like this unique experience offered a picture of how the church should act. We shared our lives for the short time we were together and all of the normal boundaries like social status, economic status and our belief systems really didn't matter. We helped each other out in any way we could. When one was down- another would comfort knowing they may need the same thing within the next hour. We held each other and poured out our hearts. Each person in the waiting area had had a significant event that brought them there and we could be mutually supportive and comforting.

In 2 Corinthians 1:3, Paul states that God is the God of all comfort. In the next verse he explains why God comforts us - so we can comfort others. I noticed that verse 4 says He comforts us in  our affliction - not before or after - but during our affliction He provides the comfort we need. It seems that He is able to provide the perfect level of comfort needed to match the level of suffering or affliction. And since He is the God of all comfort He has enough to carry us all the way through the trial. He doesn't walk half way with us and say, "that's all I got." He is in it with us for the long haul; in it for the duration of the trial.

No matter how intense our days as caregivers may become, how deep or difficult the trial becomes, He provides us the comfort we need to endure.

Why? Why does He comfort us in the midst of our trials? So we can comfort others. We are comforted by the Great I Am and then we are to turn to others and be His hands and feet. No one understands the path like someone who has walked it before. Just like my "waiting room church" who comforted each other in our shared afflictions we as caregivers can receive His comfort and then minister it to others. 

Today I will meditate on receiving His comfort and allowing it to bring peace to my  whole being. I will turn my thoughts toward His word and think about how He alone is the God of all comfort. And I will look for opportunities to share His comfort with others. Will you join me?

Superlatives Allowed!

As a general rule we are taught to avoid superlatives. Who hasn't been bitten in the back side by saying I'm never going to (fill in the blank) again!? I catch myself saying things like It always happens like that...  When we use superlatives - it means there is no room for any alternatives. Using always and never in particular doesn't leave any wriggle room, no exceptions allowed. But Paul seemed to like superlatives and in 1 Thessalonians 5 he didn't leave the believer any wriggle room when he penned:

Rejoice Always
Pray without Ceasing
In everything give thanks
Test all things - hold fast what is good
Abstain from every form of evil

When we look at it that way- it's quite the bill to fill. There were no exclusionary statements for any of these instructions. Notice Paul didn't say "in everything give thanks unless your situation is particularly trying or difficult." He didn't instruct the believers to "rejoice always unless you are a caregiver who just can't find joy in the day." He wrote these as instructions to believers in the Body of Christ. He gave no exceptions, no leeway - just do it - always.

I'll be the first to tell you that there are days it is difficult to find something to rejoice about, or to be thankful for. But usually, if we look hard enough - we can find something. Even though each of our situations are unique and we have our own set of daily trials to walk through we can heed and obey Paul's instructions here. We probably get close to praying without ceasing; but the other rules can be very difficult.

The caregiver's situation is a stressful one, and can take a toll on the mind, body and spirit after awhile. It might take some serious effort to accomplish these tasks. But they really just make sense for living life - no matter what that looks like. While we may not be thankful for our situation - we can find something to be thankful for - we are still breathing, we have food on the table, the sun is shining and the birds are singing. I've learned that sometimes it's the littlest things that bring joy to the heart. We can give in to the joy of a child's laughter, a beautiful song, a special message from a friend, or having the time to sit down and breathe for a minute or two. If we give in - it doesn't take much.

When we take the broader look at where we are there are many reasons to rejoice. God sent His word to heal us. He has not left us - and is available for us - constantly by our side. The power of the cross is not weakened by our trying circumstances and the word did not change when we became a caregiver. His word endures forever - even through the battles life brings. God is with us and He's in it for the long haul. 

Today I will meditate on the things I can be thankful for. Even if I can't see the "light at the end of the tunnel" I will keep my eyes open and watching for reasons to rejoice in Him today. Will you join me?




I'm a Refugee!

Last night as I was laying in bed reading trying to find sleep, I came across Psalm 16. I know it's been there all along, but last night several of the verses really spoke to me and my situation. I'll spend this week sharing devotions from this particular Psalm.

The first verse grabbed my attention right away. David starts out with Preserve me O God. In my mind, "preserve" translates to "save." I hear David's heartfelt cry for God to help him. I don't have to tell other caregivers how many days have begun with a similar prayer; and how many days have ended with the same prayer. It's not even that we need to be saved from our situation, but we desire our souls to be preserved in the heat of the furnace. One of my prayers throughout this whole ordeal has been for God to help me keep my faith strong. I've prayed that I would not let these trials make me bitter - but help me emerge stronger in Him. That's what I think of when I pray "preserve me O God."

The second part of the verse is a totally different type of statement. David goes on to say, for I take refuge in You. Even though he continues his thought - Lord I need you to preserve me - because I continue relying on you as my refuge. In my mind it is an intentional statement of faith. What I mean is that it surpasses time. In trying to understand how strongly David was relying on the Lord for preservation of faith and life I think it is correct to read into it a little bit more. And if not - this is my wordier version - You have always been my refuge - You are my refuge today and will always be my refuge - I run to no other - I look for no other!

Today I will meditate on God's power to save - His power to preserve our souls through faith even in the fiery trials of caregiving. And I will declare that He is my refuge; I will purposefully look to Him for strength, direction, wisdom and peace. Will you join me?

He Led them Where?

When tragedy struck and my world was shaken I had to find a way to figure out what was going on. I have to admit my faith (or what I thought had been faith) was shaken as well. There were times I was angry with God and didn't understand how He could let awful things happen. I began to read His word with new eyes. It didn't take long to realize that the Bible is full of stories about hurting people and our heroes are our heroes because of the things they faced - not the things they avoided.

This morning I found this scripture as I was reading Isaiah. In chapter 48 verse 21 it says They did not thirst when He led them through the deserts. I'm thinking there are several key points here the first being that they didn't thirst even in the desert. He provided all along the way and this is something I can attest to. I've always seen God provide and never questioned it at all, but when my son was injured in an accident and my world turned upside down I sat in a hospital with him for 4 months, then in nursing homes with him for another year before getting to bring him home. During all that time of being "unemployed" I saw God provide and lead me into learning how to make a living in new, creative ways. I can honestly say I have had my needs met and God has provided so that I have not thirsted in the desert.

The second thing that stuck out to me in this verse this morning is He led them...He did what? They didn't stumble on the desert because of their own ignorance or bad choices? He led them through the deserts. He did not lead them around, over, under or take them on a pathway so that they could avoid it altogether - He led them right through it. My flesh cries out Why didn't He take them another way?  But my heart says  absolutely the perfect plan.  It's in those dry times that we actually get to know Him better. Sometimes His silence drives us to search for Him desperately. He took them right through the driest, most barren place - on purpose!

And the last thing that stands out to me today is that "deserts" is plural - more than one! It was not just one desert and then they were done - it was deserts! For the caregiver the crisis is not a one time event - but continues day after day. There are bad days - and there are better days; but every day has its own set of challenges - plural! And He is there to lead us right on through all of them.

Today as I face several real challenges I will meditate on a few things. Firstly, that He has led me to this place and He will lead me through it. Secondly, I'll meditate on the truth that He did not drop me in the middle of a desert - He walks through it with me - holding my hand. (And sometimes carrying me along the way!) And thirdly, I'll meditate on the fact that I do not lack - He is my provider and He has given me His living water to quench my thirst. No matter how "hot" life gets, or how difficult the situation becomes I know that He has protected my soul for eternity and I do not have to thirst for Him. That's the spiritual side - the natural side is that I will trust Him to continue providing natural needs as well as spiritual.

Will you join me?

Faith for the Furnace

Yesterday I was looking through some old files I had stored on a previous hard drive and came across a recording by Nicole C. Mullen: My Redeemer Lives! I listened to it and thought of how that song is such a wonderful reminder that our God does indeed live. My mind then went to the scripture where the phrase is found  - Job 19:25. Such a wonderful song - why did it have to be Job that said it first? None of us read Job - it's rarely taught in a Sunday School lesson and I cannot recall a single sermon that used Job as the primary character.

We are afraid of Job's story because we do not understand it. Much like the church seems to be afraid of those of us who are suffering in our own furnaces because they do not know what to do with us. I suppose we can be thankful that they do not come and park on our doorstep offering such accusations as Job's "friends." (*smile*) Does it seem to you that sometimes well meaning church people want us to feel as though we don't have faith or we would have been able to escape this furnace? Isn't it more likely that we have faith for the furnace - that faith is what helps us navigate through these fiery trials of life rather than avoid them? I think so...but that's just my opinion.

When Job made the statement I know my redeemer lives, he was talking to his friends who were trying to convince him that his "house was evil" or all of this would not have come upon him. I found in the first part of the chapter that he describes the anguish of social isolation well. As many times we are cut off (not really on purpose - but once again because people do not know what to do with us) from the ones we love. And if the trial lasts for years - people no longer call or drop cards in the mail as they used to. This type of social neglect and isolation can wear on a soul and Job really describes it well in chapter 19. He even goes so far as to say that his "complaint is with God." That's raw honesty right there - might do us all some good!

But then in verse 25 it's like the faith inside of him took hold and all that he just said didn't matter as much as this: but as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and that He will stand upon the earth at last. And after my body has decayed, yet in my body I will see God. Yes, I will see Him with my own eyes. I am overwhelmed at the thought! Today I will say with Job - I know my redeemer lives! And I will  see Him... because I will seek for Him with all my heart - even in the furnace. Will you join me?

Sharing Grace

One of the things caregivers can miss the most is just living. That spontaneity of being able to decide on a moment's notice that you want to go to a movie, or run to the mall. The caregiver most times really does not have that option. We can miss the things we used to enjoy, like hiking or shopping; or just going to church. For the most part we finally get used to just staying home - but that doesn't mean our freedom isn't missed.

Somehow for me, when I can find someone in scripture who I at least think understands in some measure it can bring peace. Paul made what I feel is a very interesting statement in Acts 20:22-24. He said that Holy Spirit had told him that he was going to face afflictions and imprisonment in every city. He didn't hang his head and cry about all his losses (like I do!); he said this instead: But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. 

Now most of us did not know what was coming - and some have an idea. It can be difficult in the struggle to figure out why He called us to begin with and some who were in ministry before can feel as though they have been stripped and a lot of it does not make sense anymore. But God doesn't change His mind. It may just look a lot different than it did BC (before caregiving).

Paul continued to share the grace of God even though he found himself in prison. What better way to share how His grace is carrying us through - than right here from the midst of the fiery storm? It can be so easy to get underneath the heavy load and lose our focus. But what if we saw every phone call, every person who comes to help, or to visit as an opportunity to share His grace? Today that will be my focus, I will look at every encounter as an opportunity...will you?

Maybe it's Backwards...

I do not have to describe the huge emotional swings caregivers can experience even in a matter of minutes. And when we do have those moments when we are really down - who is there to help us up? Sadly, many of us suffer silently and alone. This just makes the process of working ourselves back out into some sort of hope - even more difficult. But it's do-able...

To be totally honest - I have been on the downward side of things of late. It's been more difficult than usual to try to get my head back up above water so I could breathe again. And I think I still have a ways to go. This morning I was thinking of Psalm 13 - O Lord, how long will you forget me? Forever? (It is somewhat comforting to see that a person He used to write the Bible felt the same way I do!) How long will You look the other way? How long must I struggle with anguish in my soul, with sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemy have the upper hand? (NLT) I can honestly say I feel this way during those long, dark nights when my loved one is ill and I feel so hopeless and helpless to offer help.

Sometimes it seems like God does not hear us - and if He does it seems He is ignoring us. But as I started climbing out of the deep dark emotional hole I gave way to some other thoughts. Perhaps we have had it backwards - thinking that God is there at our every beck and call. But who in their right mind would think in a natural kingdom that the king was there for them...but they are in the kingdom to serve the king - not the other way around. Perhaps we are supposed to be available for His every beck and call...

Think about some of the scriptural references - there are many where man called out to God indeed. But how many more are there where God reached down and called an individual - not the other way around. It certainly helps me sort through this deep valley of emotions to think about being here for Him - and knowing that He is a gracious king! Today - let us focus on being here for Him and treating Him as our king...one we gladly serve.

Looking for Some Shade...

Last summer was the hottest summer ever on record in Oklahoma. The temperature was over 100 degrees for more than 60 days. Sorry I don't remember the exact number of days, but it was a very long time, trust me!  It was smothering hot and the times of day that should bring relief like early in the morning - just weren't working right. It was hot; and it was hot all the time.

When I saw this scripture from Isaiah 25:4 I understood it a little better. The prophet says For You have been a defense for the helpless, a defense for the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat....

 When it is so hot outside you can barely breathe, it is great to be able to sit in the shade for a few minutes. You really cannot do much more than that since it's so hot. Many people get very sick when they get too hot; so it's best to just sit and be still when it gets hot outside.

 For the caregiver - it can seem hot all the time due to the intensity of our trial. We are furnace walkers, as one of my friends put it. We live in the hot! The trial can wear away at us if we are not very careful. I will be the first to admit I am needy! I am helpless! I need His protection just to breathe some days. We carry a lot....every day. We each have our own lists of all the areas we have to fight through every day - medical issues, feeding, money matters... don't we?

 But no matter what struggles are present in our own personal furnace - He is a refuge for all! Today is a good day to trust Him. It's okay to tell God you feel helpless, defenseless, or needy. (hint: He knows it anyway!) It is not a sign of weakness to need Him! Today let's concentrate on how we need Him to be our strength, our shelter, protection and shield. And then...let's let Him...

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...