My mentor told me one time that I was ambiguous but I didn't know what it meant at the time and so I had to go look it up. After I discovered what it meant, I realized I had two very different opinions about a lot of things. Over the last few days I've felt sort of divided about how I feel about God too. (It's okay - He understands and isn't mad at all!)
On one hand - I love God with all my heart and trust Him fully. On the other hand I really don't understand why bad or difficult things have to happen in life; or how come He allows them. I think I found a Psalm to help me sort it all out. It's Psalm 42 and it starts out with the psalmist discussing how they long for God. As the deer pants for water - that's how my soul longs for God. I feel that way; even wrote a chorus about being thirsty for His presence to invade every part of my life.
Verse 4, talks about how the psalmists remembers hanging out with God's people. I recall being very involved in "church" and even leading in worship. Sometimes I must admit I miss it, even though I do not ever want to go back to the same life I lived before I became a caregiver. Many times for the caregiver, attending church and being able to fellowship with other believers is simply a thing of the past.
Verse 5 the psalmist seems to dive deep into despair and tries to encourage himself by saying why are you in despair my soul? Why are you disturbed within me? But then he answers himself by saying Hope in god, for I shall again praise Him. When I saw the psalmist struggling with these two extreme emotions - totally longing for God and trusting Him - even thinking about worship; and then swinging all the way over to wondering where God is and feeling lost in despair - I was encouraged.
I was not happy that someone else was going through such a difficult time sorting through emotions like I do - but it encouraged me that God saw fit to include it in His word. This leads me to think that He understands that we are weak - that we need Him - that we must have His strength to carry this load! It's almost like He left it right there in Psalm 42 to tell the caregiver that we do not have to be in despair, but to remember that our hope is in Him - not in ourselves!
Today I will continue to meditate on His strength being in me to help me carry on. I'll speak to myself like the psalmist did and I'll tell my self to hope in God and praise Him for the help of His presence.
Life on the Sidelines
Even in our technological world it can seem like we are cut off from life. The caregiver cannot always get out and about like everyone else; sometimes even though we can keep up with others via television and Facebook, it seems everyone's life goes on where ours stopped. This is a normal part of caregiving; and one we must deal with. I usually deal with painful areas such as these by finding something similar in scripture; we can find comfort in situations when we see that someone else has lived through similar circumstances. It allows us to grab hold of some hope that tells us we can get through this season!
As feelings of isolation swept over me last week, I began to feel like life had discarded me. Immediately I went to the Word for hope and peace. In 2Samuel 9 we find King David looking for any survivors of the household of Saul. He finally found Ziba who had been one of Saul's servants and he asked Ziba if there was anyone at all left in Saul's household as David wanted to show God's kindness to them." (v.3) Ziba replied to the king that there was one of Jonathon's sons still alive -- but he's crippled. It seems he said it in such a way that indicates Mephibosheth wasn't worthy of being blessed because of his disability. But I love David's response- he did not ask how crippled Mephibosheth was or anything about his condition - he said Where is he? David went on to give Jonathan's son a place at his own table and he lived with David the rest of his days.
Mephibosheth ate at David's table as if he was one of his sons. David made sure that Mephibosheth received all of Saul's belongings and ordered that other people take care of him by farming his land; all while Mephibosheth lived in the palace!
I tend to think of it this way - my life is crippled; my son is crippled and discarded by society. He has no "friends"as he cannot give back to the relationship. It can be very easy to feel that life has discarded us altogether. But as I read on through 2 Samuel I found an interesting verse in chapter 14. It says this: God tries to bring us back when we have been separated from Him. He does not sweep away the lives of those He cares about.
Even if we feel like we are living life on the sidelines - God has not discarded us! Others may not understand what we are going through and many may not ever reach out to us in our pain. But God does know where we are and who we are and what we are going through. And just like David sought out Mephibosheth - God seeks us out to bless us, to hold us and offer us a place at His table.
Today I will meditate on the fact that I am a King's kid! I'll think about how He has provided and continues to provide for my family. I will picture in my mind what it must look like for Him to come looking for me! And I'll smile....will you join me?
As feelings of isolation swept over me last week, I began to feel like life had discarded me. Immediately I went to the Word for hope and peace. In 2Samuel 9 we find King David looking for any survivors of the household of Saul. He finally found Ziba who had been one of Saul's servants and he asked Ziba if there was anyone at all left in Saul's household as David wanted to show God's kindness to them." (v.3) Ziba replied to the king that there was one of Jonathon's sons still alive -- but he's crippled. It seems he said it in such a way that indicates Mephibosheth wasn't worthy of being blessed because of his disability. But I love David's response- he did not ask how crippled Mephibosheth was or anything about his condition - he said Where is he? David went on to give Jonathan's son a place at his own table and he lived with David the rest of his days.
Mephibosheth ate at David's table as if he was one of his sons. David made sure that Mephibosheth received all of Saul's belongings and ordered that other people take care of him by farming his land; all while Mephibosheth lived in the palace!
I tend to think of it this way - my life is crippled; my son is crippled and discarded by society. He has no "friends"as he cannot give back to the relationship. It can be very easy to feel that life has discarded us altogether. But as I read on through 2 Samuel I found an interesting verse in chapter 14. It says this: God tries to bring us back when we have been separated from Him. He does not sweep away the lives of those He cares about.
Even if we feel like we are living life on the sidelines - God has not discarded us! Others may not understand what we are going through and many may not ever reach out to us in our pain. But God does know where we are and who we are and what we are going through. And just like David sought out Mephibosheth - God seeks us out to bless us, to hold us and offer us a place at His table.
Today I will meditate on the fact that I am a King's kid! I'll think about how He has provided and continues to provide for my family. I will picture in my mind what it must look like for Him to come looking for me! And I'll smile....will you join me?
The God Who Gives
After talking about encouragement yesterday I studied it a little further. This morning's plan was to share Romans 15:5 which says: Now may the God who gives perseverance and encouragement grant you to be of the same mind with one another according to Christ Jesus.(NASB) First of all, it's pretty amazing that He just gives us encouragement. There's no stipulation - when you pray, if you ask, if you follow all the rules in the book; it just says He gives patience and encouragement. As a caregiver this is good to know, because if I feel that I am lacking in persevering or encouragement I know I can go to Him and ask Him to help me make it another day...and He will.
As I was meditating on this particular scripture I stopped on the phrase the God who gives and did a quick search. What I found was pretty amazing. He really gives us a lot! Here's a list of some of the scriptures that I found by searching the God who gives - these are only the NASB version too - if you run other versions through Bible Gateway's search you'll find a lot more!
I found that God gives:
Today I will meditate on how He gives to us freely. I will think about how encouraging it is to know that He has already provided the things I need to make it through one more day. Today I'll meditate on all these things that He gives and I will be thankful for His provision of peace and encouragement. Will you join me?
As I was meditating on this particular scripture I stopped on the phrase the God who gives and did a quick search. What I found was pretty amazing. He really gives us a lot! Here's a list of some of the scriptures that I found by searching the God who gives - these are only the NASB version too - if you run other versions through Bible Gateway's search you'll find a lot more!
I found that God gives:
- songs in the night (Job 35:10)
- grace and glory (Psalm 84:11)
- breath and spirit (Isaiah 42:5)
- rain in its season (Jeremiah 5:24)
- the Spirit without measure (John 3:34)
- the victory (1 Corinthians 15:57)
- His Holy Spirit (1 Thessalonians 4:8)
- life (I Timothy 6:13)
- wisdom (James 1:5)
Today I will meditate on how He gives to us freely. I will think about how encouraging it is to know that He has already provided the things I need to make it through one more day. Today I'll meditate on all these things that He gives and I will be thankful for His provision of peace and encouragement. Will you join me?
Where'd Y'all Go?
As caregivers we can spend a lot of time alone or with just our loved one. When they are non-verbal, it adds an extra dimension to the loneliness we can feel. Loneliness and depression can be major struggles not only for the caregiver, but for those who are going through life's trials that are continuing with no end in sight.
There are lots of scriptures on encouragement in the Bible; but I noticed that about 80 to 90 percent of them involved someone encouraging another person. I had to chuckle since that's sort of part of the problem for caregivers - there's no person around to offer us that encouragement. This can add to the feelings of aloneness and loneliness. So once again - it's up to us to do it! And that- we can!
First of all, it's important to realize that during those times when we become burdened beneath the load - it is not a lack of faith.If we take an honest look around - we run to Him and cling to Him more tightly when we feel that we cannot take another step. There is no lack of faith for the weary or battle worn soldier-it's inevitable that we will get tired, weary, and oftentimes even discouraged under the daily load of care that we bear. Clinging tightly to our God is not the lack of faith - it's a demonstration that we are still holding on. So don't beat yourself up for being tired, weary, or discouraged...it's part of the package.
In I Samuel 30:6 David found himself in a very tight spot. They had just sent him home from a battle he was really wanting to fight. He was fully capable, ready and willing but some of the men did not fully trust David yet; so the commander sent him home. As he and his men came into camp they found it ransacked and raided. Their wives were gone, their children were taken captive and the warriors were distraught. It says that they wept until there was no strength left to weep. (v.4) Now that's a picture for you - these battle hardened soldiers crying and crying. (I don't feel so bad now! lol)
To add to the discouragement- the other men started talking about stoning David and blaming him for their misfortune. He was in a very tight spot. Just like the caregiver, he found himself in a place with no one there to encourage him. So what did he do? The old KJV says he encouraged himself in the Lord. The NASB says that he strengthened himself in the Lord his God. And that may well be where we are today - we must encourage ourselves.
Today I will encourage myself by meditating on the truth that God is walking in this living furnace with me - He has not abandoned me. I will meditate on the truth that He strengthens me to walk this walk. I will also concentrate on clinging to Him today. Will you join me?
There are lots of scriptures on encouragement in the Bible; but I noticed that about 80 to 90 percent of them involved someone encouraging another person. I had to chuckle since that's sort of part of the problem for caregivers - there's no person around to offer us that encouragement. This can add to the feelings of aloneness and loneliness. So once again - it's up to us to do it! And that- we can!
First of all, it's important to realize that during those times when we become burdened beneath the load - it is not a lack of faith.If we take an honest look around - we run to Him and cling to Him more tightly when we feel that we cannot take another step. There is no lack of faith for the weary or battle worn soldier-it's inevitable that we will get tired, weary, and oftentimes even discouraged under the daily load of care that we bear. Clinging tightly to our God is not the lack of faith - it's a demonstration that we are still holding on. So don't beat yourself up for being tired, weary, or discouraged...it's part of the package.
In I Samuel 30:6 David found himself in a very tight spot. They had just sent him home from a battle he was really wanting to fight. He was fully capable, ready and willing but some of the men did not fully trust David yet; so the commander sent him home. As he and his men came into camp they found it ransacked and raided. Their wives were gone, their children were taken captive and the warriors were distraught. It says that they wept until there was no strength left to weep. (v.4) Now that's a picture for you - these battle hardened soldiers crying and crying. (I don't feel so bad now! lol)
To add to the discouragement- the other men started talking about stoning David and blaming him for their misfortune. He was in a very tight spot. Just like the caregiver, he found himself in a place with no one there to encourage him. So what did he do? The old KJV says he encouraged himself in the Lord. The NASB says that he strengthened himself in the Lord his God. And that may well be where we are today - we must encourage ourselves.
Today I will encourage myself by meditating on the truth that God is walking in this living furnace with me - He has not abandoned me. I will meditate on the truth that He strengthens me to walk this walk. I will also concentrate on clinging to Him today. Will you join me?
TheThings We Don't Understand
Why do bad things have to happen at all? Ever wonder that? I've given it a lot of thought over the last few years. Tragedy can certainly wreak havoc on what we are used to calling faith. I was always taught rather directly or indirectly that faith kept bad things from occurring. It made me feel like if I really trusted God, then things like traumatic brain injuries, strokes or any type of debilitating illness wouldn't happen to me or my family. That's just not true! Everyone of our Bible heroes are heroes because of the adversity they faced. But does every story have to have a good ending?
Moses got the children of Israel to just outside the promised land - he didn't really deliver the goods. He also disobeyed God and didn't get to go in himself. We don't like to think about that though because it destroys our little "Disney" endings. Gideon is a favorite story of mine - but we don't like reading past the part where he wins the battle to learn that he ended up making an idol that eventually led him and all his followers astray. Sounds depressing doesn't it?
When I look at my life as a caregiver I am not really seeing a happy ending. It's a prison I chose and would not have it any other way. But it is not generally pleasant and there is pain and grief every single day. God never promised us a happy ending here on this earth. And no matter what people say, He didn't promise us a life of bliss free from personal struggles either. The days and nights can get so long sometimes. He did promise us that He would keep our souls. He keeps the part of us that makes us - us. Nothing, no type of tragedy can take my soul - even in death I will be with Him. Job even understood that. In Job 19:25-26 he says this: I know that my Redeemer lives, and that He will stand upon the earth at last. And after my body has decayed, yet in my body I will see God. I will see Him for myself. Yes, I will see Him with my own eyes. I am overwhelmed at the thought!
I really can't see where God promises to keep our lives free from tragedy. But He does keep us. He holds us when the night gets longer and darker than we could have ever imagined. He strengthens us when the days get worrisome and tiresome and we do not know if we can go on one more step. He encourages us when we are not sure there is an end in sight. We will see Him! Even if He is the one carrying us through to the other side!
Today I will meditate on the truth that He is with me now - no matter what the circumstances are shouting at me. I will trade Him my piddly strength and be clothed in His to make today. I will walk toward Him whether or not I see a "happy ending" in sight! Today - I'll walk with Him and meditate on the fact that He is walking beside me (except when He has to carry me!). Will you join me?
Moses got the children of Israel to just outside the promised land - he didn't really deliver the goods. He also disobeyed God and didn't get to go in himself. We don't like to think about that though because it destroys our little "Disney" endings. Gideon is a favorite story of mine - but we don't like reading past the part where he wins the battle to learn that he ended up making an idol that eventually led him and all his followers astray. Sounds depressing doesn't it?
When I look at my life as a caregiver I am not really seeing a happy ending. It's a prison I chose and would not have it any other way. But it is not generally pleasant and there is pain and grief every single day. God never promised us a happy ending here on this earth. And no matter what people say, He didn't promise us a life of bliss free from personal struggles either. The days and nights can get so long sometimes. He did promise us that He would keep our souls. He keeps the part of us that makes us - us. Nothing, no type of tragedy can take my soul - even in death I will be with Him. Job even understood that. In Job 19:25-26 he says this: I know that my Redeemer lives, and that He will stand upon the earth at last. And after my body has decayed, yet in my body I will see God. I will see Him for myself. Yes, I will see Him with my own eyes. I am overwhelmed at the thought!
I really can't see where God promises to keep our lives free from tragedy. But He does keep us. He holds us when the night gets longer and darker than we could have ever imagined. He strengthens us when the days get worrisome and tiresome and we do not know if we can go on one more step. He encourages us when we are not sure there is an end in sight. We will see Him! Even if He is the one carrying us through to the other side!
Today I will meditate on the truth that He is with me now - no matter what the circumstances are shouting at me. I will trade Him my piddly strength and be clothed in His to make today. I will walk toward Him whether or not I see a "happy ending" in sight! Today - I'll walk with Him and meditate on the fact that He is walking beside me (except when He has to carry me!). Will you join me?
Controlled and Sustained
I've been out of the "main-stream" life now for about 4 and a half years and I am still rethinking faith. As far as God goes, there's no doubt in my mind that He is. But I frequently return to the topic of faith because as westerners I do not think we really get it. So last night and this morning during my devotions I read and reread Hebrews 11 - The Hall of Faith for believers. This time it was verse 13 that stuck out to me the most.
Verse 13 states: These people all died controlled and sustained by their faith, but not having received the tangible fulfillment of God's promises...This statement is very contrary to our western church culture. We are taught to say it 'til we see it and when we see it somehow we think that we can measure faith by tangible means. However, here in Hebrews our list of Bible heroes never saw what they were praying for yet are respected for their faith.
Faith is not so much believing 'til we're receiving as it is holding on to what we will never be able to see. Faith is not weakened by a sick or ill body. Faith is not lessened by dire circumstances. Tragedy cannot touch faith, troubles cannot diminish faith. Now faith is... Knowing that God is...period and continuing to hold on to Him no matter what the circumstances is faith.
Peter demonstrated faith when he jumped out of a boat in a storm. Daniel demonstrated faith from inside the lion's den. Noah was carried through the flood by faith in God. Verse 36 gives us a rather serious look at faith as it says: they were stoned to death, sawn asunder, slaughtered by the sword, destitute, oppressed, cruelly treated all without receiving the promise - of the Christ. In our mamby pamby "Christian" world here in the United States we do not know anything about that yet. We are still caught up in what faith can get us - or so we think. But for real furnace walkers we understand that sustaining faith that does not make all the "bad things" go away - it simply sustains you while you walk through...still clinging to Him.
Today I will meditate on His eternal presence and how He is still with me in the fire. (Seriously - where would He go? He's omnipresent!) I'll think about holding on to Him more tightly and getting to know Him more intimately as He sustains me in the fire. Will you join me?
Verse 13 states: These people all died controlled and sustained by their faith, but not having received the tangible fulfillment of God's promises...This statement is very contrary to our western church culture. We are taught to say it 'til we see it and when we see it somehow we think that we can measure faith by tangible means. However, here in Hebrews our list of Bible heroes never saw what they were praying for yet are respected for their faith.
Faith is not so much believing 'til we're receiving as it is holding on to what we will never be able to see. Faith is not weakened by a sick or ill body. Faith is not lessened by dire circumstances. Tragedy cannot touch faith, troubles cannot diminish faith. Now faith is... Knowing that God is...period and continuing to hold on to Him no matter what the circumstances is faith.
Peter demonstrated faith when he jumped out of a boat in a storm. Daniel demonstrated faith from inside the lion's den. Noah was carried through the flood by faith in God. Verse 36 gives us a rather serious look at faith as it says: they were stoned to death, sawn asunder, slaughtered by the sword, destitute, oppressed, cruelly treated all without receiving the promise - of the Christ. In our mamby pamby "Christian" world here in the United States we do not know anything about that yet. We are still caught up in what faith can get us - or so we think. But for real furnace walkers we understand that sustaining faith that does not make all the "bad things" go away - it simply sustains you while you walk through...still clinging to Him.
Today I will meditate on His eternal presence and how He is still with me in the fire. (Seriously - where would He go? He's omnipresent!) I'll think about holding on to Him more tightly and getting to know Him more intimately as He sustains me in the fire. Will you join me?
A Couragous Start
There is no doubt that it takes courage to be a caregiver; it also takes courage to deal with many of life's toughest battles. I like the story in the Bible about Benaiah who chased a lion into a snowy pit to kill him. Now that's courage! He didn't just chase a lion away but chased him down and jumped into the snowy pit with him to attack him.Now I am not into chasing lions, but I do admire his courage. Check out his amazingly courageous story in 2 Samuel 23.
There are days when we do not feel courageous at all and it can be very tiring to have to fight with various health related agencies over and over again; it can sap your strength if you're not careful. As believers we know we do not function in our own strength anyway - He gives us strength to face each day and to accomplish our tasks. But there is also a certain amount of want-to on our parts and it even takes self-motivation to follow Him. It will not happen without a conscious decision. Keeping ourselves going can be very tiring. Tenth Avenue North has a song called, "Worn." It's a great song for caregivers - check it out. One phrase says "I'm worn even before the day begins." This is not always the case - but many days it seems it takes our strength just to get out of bed! Love drives us on.
Being on the tired side of things, I was very excited to find this scripture this morning in my reading. Isaiah 57:15: I refresh the humble and give new courage to those with repentant hearts." (NLT) I stopped and read it several times and my first thought was what it takes to have a repentant heart. Does this mean I need to run around all day repenting of present or past sins and incessantly asking God to forgive me? Not at all. It's a state of being. I think...it is purposefully staying humble before Him and keeping our hearts in a position to change and yield to His Spirit in us. We live repentantly by listening to His voice. When we stay up close to Him we will hear when He gently says Don't do that. And we stop. Living repentantly means that I am constantly listening for His instruction so I can follow Him more closely. It's like living constantly with a readiness to change. And this is when new courage will come.
Today I will meditate on listening to Him with my whole being. I will consciously think about living with that readiness to change per His command. I will remain pliable in His hands. Will you join me?
There are days when we do not feel courageous at all and it can be very tiring to have to fight with various health related agencies over and over again; it can sap your strength if you're not careful. As believers we know we do not function in our own strength anyway - He gives us strength to face each day and to accomplish our tasks. But there is also a certain amount of want-to on our parts and it even takes self-motivation to follow Him. It will not happen without a conscious decision. Keeping ourselves going can be very tiring. Tenth Avenue North has a song called, "Worn." It's a great song for caregivers - check it out. One phrase says "I'm worn even before the day begins." This is not always the case - but many days it seems it takes our strength just to get out of bed! Love drives us on.
Being on the tired side of things, I was very excited to find this scripture this morning in my reading. Isaiah 57:15: I refresh the humble and give new courage to those with repentant hearts." (NLT) I stopped and read it several times and my first thought was what it takes to have a repentant heart. Does this mean I need to run around all day repenting of present or past sins and incessantly asking God to forgive me? Not at all. It's a state of being. I think...it is purposefully staying humble before Him and keeping our hearts in a position to change and yield to His Spirit in us. We live repentantly by listening to His voice. When we stay up close to Him we will hear when He gently says Don't do that. And we stop. Living repentantly means that I am constantly listening for His instruction so I can follow Him more closely. It's like living constantly with a readiness to change. And this is when new courage will come.
Today I will meditate on listening to Him with my whole being. I will consciously think about living with that readiness to change per His command. I will remain pliable in His hands. Will you join me?
I Got Your Back!
This morning as I was reading about some of Paul's hardships in 2 Corinthians 6, I thought about the caregiver. He really nailed a few things on the head for us even though our hardships take very different courses. He talks some about having patience and working to exhaustion and sleepless nights as well as our sincere love, purity and kindness all through the power of God. Verse 9 says we are close to death, but here we are still alive! Sound familiar? In verse 10 he talks about how our heart aches, but we still have joy and many spiritual riches to share. As I was reading this passage I thought about how much all of this seems to apply to our situations as well.
But something else caught my eye - verse 7 says this - God's power has been working in us. We have righteousness as a weapon, both to attack and to defend ourselves. I thought about that a lot and even matched it up with Job and how he had to keep telling his "friends" that he was righteous before God. His circumstances did not indicate his standing before God. It's the same with us - There are times when I feel so faithless and occasions when well meaning church people have added to that burden. But think about it a bit - our circumstances do not alter God's righteousness in us. We are covered by the blood of Christ no matter what trials life brings our way. We wear his righteousness as a breastplate as it protects our heart (Eph 6) - and Jesus is our righteousness and He never changes.
Today I will continue to meditate on the title of today's blog - But I will remember that God has my back! His righteousness covers and is strong enough and unwavering enough to cover me in both good times and bad! Will you join me?
But something else caught my eye - verse 7 says this - God's power has been working in us. We have righteousness as a weapon, both to attack and to defend ourselves. I thought about that a lot and even matched it up with Job and how he had to keep telling his "friends" that he was righteous before God. His circumstances did not indicate his standing before God. It's the same with us - There are times when I feel so faithless and occasions when well meaning church people have added to that burden. But think about it a bit - our circumstances do not alter God's righteousness in us. We are covered by the blood of Christ no matter what trials life brings our way. We wear his righteousness as a breastplate as it protects our heart (Eph 6) - and Jesus is our righteousness and He never changes.
Today I will continue to meditate on the title of today's blog - But I will remember that God has my back! His righteousness covers and is strong enough and unwavering enough to cover me in both good times and bad! Will you join me?
Will You Carry Me?
God is so awesome! Yet sometimes it feels as though He has moved a long way away. Mentally, and in my heart, I know He hasn't; but it can feel like He is not working in the present. He is though. This is one aspect of faith that we forget about in our materialistic culture - it's not about getting stuff - it's about believing He's there and cares whether we can see Him, feel Him, sense Him or not.
Yesterday, I was looking for a scripture that would remind me how awesome His is, how majestic He is and how present He is. I found this one in Deuteronomy. It's at the very end of Moses' blessing over the people before he died. This little phrase toward the end of his blessing caught my eye - verse 27 says: The eternal God is your refuge, and His everlasting arms are under you.(NLT) I stopped and thought about that simple phrase a lot. He is my refuge - but He is an eternal being so that means He has been my refuge, is being my refuge and will continue to be my refuge - forever! (I like that!) And His arms are not just appendages...they are everlasting arms - He will not get tired of carrying me!
I was thinking how much I love to hold and play with my grandchildren. But after awhile my arms can get tired. As much as I love them, I have to put them down so I can rest now and then. But not God. His arms are everlasting. His strength lasts forever...that means that He has always been carrying me, is carrying me now and will continue to carry me - forever! (I like that too!)
Sometimes I am more like the child as life plays out...you know. They want to have you hold them until something more intriguing comes along. That's when they want to get up and run around and only come back when they think they need you! We would love to just sit and hold them - but they get too busy and only come back when they get hurt or it's convenient.
Today I will meditate on my everlasting, eternal Father. I'll even attempt to rest in Him and let Him hold me today. Will you join me?
Yesterday, I was looking for a scripture that would remind me how awesome His is, how majestic He is and how present He is. I found this one in Deuteronomy. It's at the very end of Moses' blessing over the people before he died. This little phrase toward the end of his blessing caught my eye - verse 27 says: The eternal God is your refuge, and His everlasting arms are under you.(NLT) I stopped and thought about that simple phrase a lot. He is my refuge - but He is an eternal being so that means He has been my refuge, is being my refuge and will continue to be my refuge - forever! (I like that!) And His arms are not just appendages...they are everlasting arms - He will not get tired of carrying me!
I was thinking how much I love to hold and play with my grandchildren. But after awhile my arms can get tired. As much as I love them, I have to put them down so I can rest now and then. But not God. His arms are everlasting. His strength lasts forever...that means that He has always been carrying me, is carrying me now and will continue to carry me - forever! (I like that too!)
Sometimes I am more like the child as life plays out...you know. They want to have you hold them until something more intriguing comes along. That's when they want to get up and run around and only come back when they think they need you! We would love to just sit and hold them - but they get too busy and only come back when they get hurt or it's convenient.
Today I will meditate on my everlasting, eternal Father. I'll even attempt to rest in Him and let Him hold me today. Will you join me?
Comfort in the Midst of Affliction
Every day for the caregiver can be filled with various types of afflictions or discomforts. It's easy to be distracted by the battle because of the intensity with which we must live every single day. Just yesterday evening as I was trying to get ready to retire myself I thought of all the things we had accomplished during the day. There's preparing special foods as well as foods for myself (and they are not even close to being the same!), getting my son up, laying him down, working on mobility, working on cognitive skills, struggling because I am trying to help him get better and he really wants to go back to bed! lol And that just scratches the surface. Add to that these types of activities the fact that on top of working with our loved ones we still have all the "normal" things to accomplish like laundry, dishes, dusting (does anyone do that anymore? lol), and various other sundry household tasks. Plus for some of us we also have jobs. For me it is working at home - but it is still working. Do I sound afflicted yet? lol
As a general rule when I am overwhelmed I will turn to the Psalms and often I will read through the longest one - Psalm 119. Verse 50 is one of my all time favorites. I actually found it back in 1986 when I was ill with some mysterious disease that they never figured out. I really thought I was going to die! I was so ill and so weak, I just lay on the couch and dwindled away. While I was sick I actually didn't have the strength to lift my Bible up so I could read it - plus my eyes burned if they were open. But once I was on the mend - just as mysteriously as the condition had occurred - I found this scripture in Psalms 119:50 This is my comfort in my affliction; for thy word hath quickened me. (KJV) I realized during the time of sickness that His word still spoke to me and brought me comfort.
In our times of affliction as a caregiver His word can still put life in these tired bodies! I think I found comfort most in the simple fact that his word still touched my heart. His word does not change with the circumstance. It is forever settled in Heaven. No matter what types of difficulties or trials we are walking through today - allow this truth - that His word does not change to bring you comfort. If His word still "quickens" or speaks to you - then you are not dead. And even if you do not feel it - but you continue to look to His word for strength and guidance, then be comforted by the fact that you have not given up yet! Even when we do not sense Him - if we seek Him we will find Him.
Today I will meditate on the fact that I'm not dead; physically nor spiritually. How do I know? Because I am still longing and looking for Him. I'll turn my gaze to His word and allow Him to bring comfort to my soul. Will you join me?
As a general rule when I am overwhelmed I will turn to the Psalms and often I will read through the longest one - Psalm 119. Verse 50 is one of my all time favorites. I actually found it back in 1986 when I was ill with some mysterious disease that they never figured out. I really thought I was going to die! I was so ill and so weak, I just lay on the couch and dwindled away. While I was sick I actually didn't have the strength to lift my Bible up so I could read it - plus my eyes burned if they were open. But once I was on the mend - just as mysteriously as the condition had occurred - I found this scripture in Psalms 119:50 This is my comfort in my affliction; for thy word hath quickened me. (KJV) I realized during the time of sickness that His word still spoke to me and brought me comfort.
In our times of affliction as a caregiver His word can still put life in these tired bodies! I think I found comfort most in the simple fact that his word still touched my heart. His word does not change with the circumstance. It is forever settled in Heaven. No matter what types of difficulties or trials we are walking through today - allow this truth - that His word does not change to bring you comfort. If His word still "quickens" or speaks to you - then you are not dead. And even if you do not feel it - but you continue to look to His word for strength and guidance, then be comforted by the fact that you have not given up yet! Even when we do not sense Him - if we seek Him we will find Him.
Today I will meditate on the fact that I'm not dead; physically nor spiritually. How do I know? Because I am still longing and looking for Him. I'll turn my gaze to His word and allow Him to bring comfort to my soul. Will you join me?
Silently Taboo
Maybe it is just Western believers who take scriptures apart and use the sections we like and ignore the rest. Over the last 4 years of caregiving I have "found' pieces of scriptures which have been somewhat ignored. Perhaps because it does not match our own theology. Somewhere along the church-y path it seems we were indirectly (I hope not directly) taught that pain was wrong - even a sin. Maybe no one said it, but various things led me to interpret sermons to mean that pain was not acceptable. When's the last time you heard a sermon on how to handle those pains in your heart? The soul pains that the caregiver suffer are deep and oftentimes unexpressed, because we indirectly are led to believe that they are taboo.
We even ignore books of the Bible that don't match our anti-pain theologies. When is the last time you heard a sermon from Lamentations? Right. Because the prophet penned that book when he was in intense pain for the losses he saw his people, God's people, going through. If we do hear Lamentations mentioned in a sermon I'd lay money on the fact that it is probably the 22nd and 22rd verses of chapter 3. The Lord's lovingkindnesses never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. (NASB) That is a wonderful scripture and really does offer much peace and hope. I need to know that His mercies are fresh and keeping me alive in Him every single day!
We do not hear the context of these courage building scriptures. Here's what the prophet shared about the anguish of his soul leading up to these true nuggets: My soul has been rejected from peace; I have forgotten happiness. So I say, 'My strength has perished, and so has my hope from the Lord.' Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. Surely my soul remembers and is bowed down within me. This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. (NASB) That's verses 17 to 21 in which the prophet shares honestly how he felt and pours out his anguish in an open and transparent manner. We really do not see that a lot today. Perhaps because it's not allowed. It is silently taboo.
The more I live the more pain I see , not just for the caregiver who lives in daily soul pain. People are diagnosed with serious life threatening diseases, children are killed in car wrecks, and loved ones are lost. Pain is real - and if we ignore it - we cannot take it to the Lord in exchange for His mercy. He cannot help me carry a load that I will not acknowledge I have.
Today, I will meditate on acknowledging my pain and giving it to Him. I will think about how great His mercies are and how thankful I am that when my strength has perished He will lift me up. Will you join me?
We even ignore books of the Bible that don't match our anti-pain theologies. When is the last time you heard a sermon from Lamentations? Right. Because the prophet penned that book when he was in intense pain for the losses he saw his people, God's people, going through. If we do hear Lamentations mentioned in a sermon I'd lay money on the fact that it is probably the 22nd and 22rd verses of chapter 3. The Lord's lovingkindnesses never cease, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness. (NASB) That is a wonderful scripture and really does offer much peace and hope. I need to know that His mercies are fresh and keeping me alive in Him every single day!
We do not hear the context of these courage building scriptures. Here's what the prophet shared about the anguish of his soul leading up to these true nuggets: My soul has been rejected from peace; I have forgotten happiness. So I say, 'My strength has perished, and so has my hope from the Lord.' Remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and bitterness. Surely my soul remembers and is bowed down within me. This I recall to my mind, therefore I have hope. (NASB) That's verses 17 to 21 in which the prophet shares honestly how he felt and pours out his anguish in an open and transparent manner. We really do not see that a lot today. Perhaps because it's not allowed. It is silently taboo.
The more I live the more pain I see , not just for the caregiver who lives in daily soul pain. People are diagnosed with serious life threatening diseases, children are killed in car wrecks, and loved ones are lost. Pain is real - and if we ignore it - we cannot take it to the Lord in exchange for His mercy. He cannot help me carry a load that I will not acknowledge I have.
Today, I will meditate on acknowledging my pain and giving it to Him. I will think about how great His mercies are and how thankful I am that when my strength has perished He will lift me up. Will you join me?
Social Isolation
One of the things I hear a lot about is social isolation. Most caregivers become such under varying circumstances for me it started with an automobile accident followed by a hospital stay. At first the SICU waiting room was filled with concerned people. As the usual "custom" visitors began to dwindle when it turned into a 4 month hospital stay; and dwindled even more as we moved to the first nursing home. By the time we moved to our first apartment visitors were pretty much nonexistent. This is typically how it goes and it's not that people do not care, it's just that they went on with their lives and somehow had the illusion that since you are "home" yours sort of went on too. That's just the way it is.. no blame.
Caregiving can end up being a lonely place - but you eventually adjust to this social isolation and it finally becomes the norm. As a general rule, caregivers do not have the freedom that many others have. They cannot decide on the spur of the moment to go see a movie, go to lunch with friends or grab a cup of coffee with someone. Many cannot even take care of personal errands except when an aide is present. Even if our loved one is mobile it is not so easy to just jump and run to buy necessities. It all has to be carefully planned out and it greatly involved depending on the mobility level of our loved one. All of this can lead to a feeling of abandonment.
When we feel like the world has kept turning and left us sitting still we can consider this scripture in Psalm 27:9-10. The psalmist prays: Do not hide yourself from me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don't leave me now; don't abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.
I am guessing that David had moments he felt isolated from the rest of the world. He was basically running and hiding from Saul who wanted to kill him. I'm sure there were some lonely moments in some dark caves while he was hidden away that he felt abandoned. But he encouraged himself in the Lord more than once! In this psalm he goes on to talk about seeing the Lord's goodness in the land of the living. And then he makes this statement seemingly to himself in verse 14: wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. (NLT)
Today I will turn my focus to the Lord who will never abandon - never leave me alone. I will meditate on these two phrases from this psalm: you have always been my helper and the Lord will hold me close. This will by my meditation for the day - will you join me?
Caregiving can end up being a lonely place - but you eventually adjust to this social isolation and it finally becomes the norm. As a general rule, caregivers do not have the freedom that many others have. They cannot decide on the spur of the moment to go see a movie, go to lunch with friends or grab a cup of coffee with someone. Many cannot even take care of personal errands except when an aide is present. Even if our loved one is mobile it is not so easy to just jump and run to buy necessities. It all has to be carefully planned out and it greatly involved depending on the mobility level of our loved one. All of this can lead to a feeling of abandonment.
When we feel like the world has kept turning and left us sitting still we can consider this scripture in Psalm 27:9-10. The psalmist prays: Do not hide yourself from me. Do not reject your servant in anger. You have always been my helper. Don't leave me now; don't abandon me, the Lord will hold me close. Even if my father and mother abandon me, the Lord will hold me close.
I am guessing that David had moments he felt isolated from the rest of the world. He was basically running and hiding from Saul who wanted to kill him. I'm sure there were some lonely moments in some dark caves while he was hidden away that he felt abandoned. But he encouraged himself in the Lord more than once! In this psalm he goes on to talk about seeing the Lord's goodness in the land of the living. And then he makes this statement seemingly to himself in verse 14: wait patiently for the Lord. Be brave and courageous. Yes, wait patiently for the Lord. (NLT)
Today I will turn my focus to the Lord who will never abandon - never leave me alone. I will meditate on these two phrases from this psalm: you have always been my helper and the Lord will hold me close. This will by my meditation for the day - will you join me?
The Lord Will Hold Me Close
Psalm 27 seems to have a little bit of everything. David starts out by pretty much disclosing his crazy emotions. He expresses fear and trembling and tries to console himself by saying he will remain confident even if he is attacked. I think many days, as caregivers we can feel like the world continues to attack in an ongoing battle. Our daily struggles can take many forms which can sometimes feel like we were put here on earth to just get others to do their jobs responsibly. (Those who work with health related agencies will understand that one!)
Even as David is consoling himself and working on releasing his fears to God, he begins to think about living in God's house. David states that this is where he is concealed when trouble comes.(NLT) He goes on to say that in God's house he is lifted high above his enemies and from there he will offer sacrifices, shouts of joy, singing and praise. I am not so sure David is solely talking about the physical temple or tabernacle in Jerusalem. David understood that God was his rock, his hiding place...it looks to me that he was just simply talking about hiding in Him. I want to relearn how to do that.
As the days get tough and continue to be filled with broken, no shattered, dreams and constant pain, or hopelessness we tend to crawl back out away from Him instead of remaining hidden in Him. If we do not protect ourselves we can get so wrapped up in our own pain and fail to keep our eyes on Him - our source of strength. David could get busy running and forget to hide in Him! We are not much different. I've found over the years that we tend to run to our "religion" first - But there is a day that it will no longer make any sense and theological reason is tested and falls short. What a perfect time to return to Him! Theology nor religion can carry us through these days - it will take the supernatural strength of God to carry the load.
David must have understood that even though the struggle was physical, as is ours, he listened for God to call him away. He said in verse 8 - My heart has heard You say,"Come and talk with me." And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming." What a beautiful interaction between man and God! In this moment of surrender David states The Lord will hold me close.
Today I will meditate on letting Him hold me close. I will concentrate on simply resting and waiting patiently for Him. I will let Him be my rock today.
Even as David is consoling himself and working on releasing his fears to God, he begins to think about living in God's house. David states that this is where he is concealed when trouble comes.(NLT) He goes on to say that in God's house he is lifted high above his enemies and from there he will offer sacrifices, shouts of joy, singing and praise. I am not so sure David is solely talking about the physical temple or tabernacle in Jerusalem. David understood that God was his rock, his hiding place...it looks to me that he was just simply talking about hiding in Him. I want to relearn how to do that.
As the days get tough and continue to be filled with broken, no shattered, dreams and constant pain, or hopelessness we tend to crawl back out away from Him instead of remaining hidden in Him. If we do not protect ourselves we can get so wrapped up in our own pain and fail to keep our eyes on Him - our source of strength. David could get busy running and forget to hide in Him! We are not much different. I've found over the years that we tend to run to our "religion" first - But there is a day that it will no longer make any sense and theological reason is tested and falls short. What a perfect time to return to Him! Theology nor religion can carry us through these days - it will take the supernatural strength of God to carry the load.
David must have understood that even though the struggle was physical, as is ours, he listened for God to call him away. He said in verse 8 - My heart has heard You say,"Come and talk with me." And my heart responds, "Lord, I am coming." What a beautiful interaction between man and God! In this moment of surrender David states The Lord will hold me close.
Today I will meditate on letting Him hold me close. I will concentrate on simply resting and waiting patiently for Him. I will let Him be my rock today.
Faith for the Furnace
Yesterday I was looking through some old files I had stored on a previous hard drive and came across a recording by Nicole C. Mullen: My Redeemer Lives! I listened to it and thought of how that song is such a wonderful reminder that our God does indeed live. My mind then went to the scripture where the phrase is found - Job 19:25. Such a wonderful song - why did it have to be Job that said it first? None of us read Job - it's rarely taught in a Sunday School lesson and I cannot recall a single sermon that used Job as the primary character.
We are afraid of Job's story because we do not understand it. Much like the church seems to be afraid of those of us who are suffering in our own furnaces because they do not know what to do with us. I suppose we can be thankful that they do not come and park on our doorstep offering such accusations as Job's "friends." (*smile*) Does it seem to you that sometimes well meaning church people want us to feel as though we don't have faith or we would have been able to escape this furnace? Isn't it more likely that we have faith for the furnace - that faith is what helps us navigate through these fiery trials of life rather than avoid them? I think so...but that's just my opinion.
When Job made the statement I know my redeemer lives, he was talking to his friends who were trying to convince him that his "house was evil" or all of this would not have come upon him. I found in the first part of the chapter that he describes the anguish of social isolation well. As many times we are cut off (not really on purpose - but once again because people do not know what to do with us) from the ones we love. And if the trial lasts for years - people no longer call or drop cards in the mail as they used to. This type of social neglect and isolation can wear on a soul and Job really describes it well in chapter 19. He even goes so far as to say that his "complaint is with God." That's raw honesty right there - might do us all some good!
But then in verse 25 it's like the faith inside of him took hold and all that he just said didn't matter as much as this: but as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and that He will stand upon the earth at last. And after my body has decayed, yet in my body I will see God. Yes, I will see Him with my own eyes. I am overwhelmed at the thought! Today I will say with Job - I know my redeemer lives! And I will see Him... because I will seek for Him with all my heart - even in the furnace. Will you join me?
We are afraid of Job's story because we do not understand it. Much like the church seems to be afraid of those of us who are suffering in our own furnaces because they do not know what to do with us. I suppose we can be thankful that they do not come and park on our doorstep offering such accusations as Job's "friends." (*smile*) Does it seem to you that sometimes well meaning church people want us to feel as though we don't have faith or we would have been able to escape this furnace? Isn't it more likely that we have faith for the furnace - that faith is what helps us navigate through these fiery trials of life rather than avoid them? I think so...but that's just my opinion.
When Job made the statement I know my redeemer lives, he was talking to his friends who were trying to convince him that his "house was evil" or all of this would not have come upon him. I found in the first part of the chapter that he describes the anguish of social isolation well. As many times we are cut off (not really on purpose - but once again because people do not know what to do with us) from the ones we love. And if the trial lasts for years - people no longer call or drop cards in the mail as they used to. This type of social neglect and isolation can wear on a soul and Job really describes it well in chapter 19. He even goes so far as to say that his "complaint is with God." That's raw honesty right there - might do us all some good!
But then in verse 25 it's like the faith inside of him took hold and all that he just said didn't matter as much as this: but as for me, I know that my Redeemer lives, and that He will stand upon the earth at last. And after my body has decayed, yet in my body I will see God. Yes, I will see Him with my own eyes. I am overwhelmed at the thought! Today I will say with Job - I know my redeemer lives! And I will see Him... because I will seek for Him with all my heart - even in the furnace. Will you join me?
He Remembers
It can be way too easy to let the pain of each day have our focus; but it does not have to be that way. Starting in the morning we can begin to shift our thoughts to Him and away from our circumstances. I'm not trying to minimize the pain that a day brings as for many caregivers, as well as those who are being cared for because of chronic or serious conditions, the pain of the circumstance can be almost unbearable. Quite honestly, some days we do not have the energy to let pain have our attention as we spend the day taking care of the needs of our loved one. But each day hurts. If we are not careful our thoughts will major on things that we are missing instead of what we have - life. And not just life - but life in Him. We can chose to celebrate that life in Him from any circumstance.
As believers we understand the concept of hiding in Him. Psalm 91 talks about hiding in the secret place of the Most High; and Psalm 46:1 speaks of the Lord being a very present help in trouble and our refuge and strength. And in Psalm 61, the psalmist cries out that the Lord has been a refuge and a place of safety from the enemy. We understand that we can hide in Him when life gets out of hand or we are overwhelmed.
Just knowing that He is my refuge and I can hide in Him when the pains of life try to overwhelm me is a great comfort to me. But listen to this in Nahum 1:7 - The Lord is good. When trouble comes He is a strong refuge. He knows everyone who trusts in Him. (NLT) He knows those who seek refuge in Him because we trust Him. He knows every time we crawl up into His lap and say "I just can't handle this anymore." He remembers us...
Today I will meditate on the truth that He knows I seek Him for a refuge and He knows that I trust Him. I will meditate on His peace and the strength He fills me with to walk each day I must face.
As believers we understand the concept of hiding in Him. Psalm 91 talks about hiding in the secret place of the Most High; and Psalm 46:1 speaks of the Lord being a very present help in trouble and our refuge and strength. And in Psalm 61, the psalmist cries out that the Lord has been a refuge and a place of safety from the enemy. We understand that we can hide in Him when life gets out of hand or we are overwhelmed.
Just knowing that He is my refuge and I can hide in Him when the pains of life try to overwhelm me is a great comfort to me. But listen to this in Nahum 1:7 - The Lord is good. When trouble comes He is a strong refuge. He knows everyone who trusts in Him. (NLT) He knows those who seek refuge in Him because we trust Him. He knows every time we crawl up into His lap and say "I just can't handle this anymore." He remembers us...
Today I will meditate on the truth that He knows I seek Him for a refuge and He knows that I trust Him. I will meditate on His peace and the strength He fills me with to walk each day I must face.
It's All About the Response
A few days ago I began thinking about Cain and Able and how God warned Cain and tried to prepare him for success instead of failure. My real questions were not so much about Cain specifically, but more about why he was the one who received the warning about sin "crouching at the door." Why don't we see that God warned Adam and Eve about what was going to happen? Whey not warn Able that he was about to be attacked? He was the good one after all. So I went back to Genesis 4 and began reading it again.
In verses 3-5 we have a description of Cain and Able bringing their offerings to the Lord; Able's was accepted, Cain's was not. I'm thinking that verse 6 explains why Cain's was not accepted - Why are you so angry? God asked of Cain. Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you respond in the right way. But if you refuse to respond correctly, then watch out! Sin is waiting to attack and destroy you and you must subdue it. (NLT) There are many points that we could look at but I just want to concentrate on one today. You will be accepted if you respond the right way...
I'll be the first to admit that my response to being thrust into full time caregiving has not always been "acceptable" nor appropriate. It was reasonable - anger is a normal response, fear is too. As caregivers we face many frustrating situations - usually every single day. It can be so easy to become discouraged, upset, frustrated and distraught. There are things that I simply cannot control; but how I respond to each situation can determine my success or failure for the day. I am the captain of my soul said one poet. Although there are many things that I do not have control over and many that I simply cannot change - I am in total control of my response to each circumstance that is presented in a day.
Today I will start evaluating my responses. Am I responding in faith? What is the first thing out of my mouth when something goes wrong? (You really do not want to know!) Cain's response was all wrong even though God gave him ample time to make the correction so that he could stay in right standing with God. How will we respond today to pain of any kind? How will we respond if aides or supplies do not show up? How do we respond when the day collapses around us and we feel like we cannot move or breathe? -- the opposite of Cain, of course!
We are furnace walkers - we must keep walking. Today I will meditate on how He is with me even in the furnace- so that I will not lose heart. And I will remind myself that He is faithful. When my response falls short of righteous - I'll go back to His faithfulness. I'll purposefully take myself out of the center of focus and concentrate on Him and His goodness...that's how I plan on making it through today....
In verses 3-5 we have a description of Cain and Able bringing their offerings to the Lord; Able's was accepted, Cain's was not. I'm thinking that verse 6 explains why Cain's was not accepted - Why are you so angry? God asked of Cain. Why do you look so dejected? You will be accepted if you respond in the right way. But if you refuse to respond correctly, then watch out! Sin is waiting to attack and destroy you and you must subdue it. (NLT) There are many points that we could look at but I just want to concentrate on one today. You will be accepted if you respond the right way...
I'll be the first to admit that my response to being thrust into full time caregiving has not always been "acceptable" nor appropriate. It was reasonable - anger is a normal response, fear is too. As caregivers we face many frustrating situations - usually every single day. It can be so easy to become discouraged, upset, frustrated and distraught. There are things that I simply cannot control; but how I respond to each situation can determine my success or failure for the day. I am the captain of my soul said one poet. Although there are many things that I do not have control over and many that I simply cannot change - I am in total control of my response to each circumstance that is presented in a day.
Today I will start evaluating my responses. Am I responding in faith? What is the first thing out of my mouth when something goes wrong? (You really do not want to know!) Cain's response was all wrong even though God gave him ample time to make the correction so that he could stay in right standing with God. How will we respond today to pain of any kind? How will we respond if aides or supplies do not show up? How do we respond when the day collapses around us and we feel like we cannot move or breathe? -- the opposite of Cain, of course!
We are furnace walkers - we must keep walking. Today I will meditate on how He is with me even in the furnace- so that I will not lose heart. And I will remind myself that He is faithful. When my response falls short of righteous - I'll go back to His faithfulness. I'll purposefully take myself out of the center of focus and concentrate on Him and His goodness...that's how I plan on making it through today....
Patience's Equivalence
This morning during my devotional time I came across this scripture in Proverbs 16:32. It says this: It is better to be patient than powerful; it is better to have self-control than to conquer a city. My thoughts stayed there for quite some time as I thought about how it is better to be patient than to have power. I thought about just patience itself and how in my caregiving role I feel like I am continually waiting on God; daily needing Him to act on my behalf. After several minutes of thinking about how important patience is to the caregiver I came to the conclusion that patience and waiting on God are equivalent. Honestly, I do not think I am a very patient person, yet caregiving requires it of me. But I never thought about being patient, to me it was more about not being able to change the situation and accepting it then doing the best I can with it each day. Right now I am thinking that this comes out to equal patience! lol
My mind immediately went to James 1:4. In the old KJV that I memorized in my youth it says this: but let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. The NASB uses the word "endurance" rather than patience. I was thinking that if patience and waiting on God are equivalents, then the first part of this verse in James could read: so let waiting on God have its perfect work...which means for caregivers that we simply wait some more. But in the waiting we will become complete in Him.
Today my meditation will be on how I can keep my soul quiet before Him as I wait on Him; thus allowing Him to work His work in and through me as I function as a caregiver for His child.
My mind immediately went to James 1:4. In the old KJV that I memorized in my youth it says this: but let patience have her perfect work, that ye may be perfect and entire, wanting nothing. The NASB uses the word "endurance" rather than patience. I was thinking that if patience and waiting on God are equivalents, then the first part of this verse in James could read: so let waiting on God have its perfect work...which means for caregivers that we simply wait some more. But in the waiting we will become complete in Him.
Today my meditation will be on how I can keep my soul quiet before Him as I wait on Him; thus allowing Him to work His work in and through me as I function as a caregiver for His child.
You Want Me to Wait Quietly?
Back in my real ministry days I did a lot of teaching on waiting on God. As a worship leader I learned that I needed those quiet times to develop intimacy with Him. This morning I was looking at Psalm 62 which starts out with I wait quietly before God, for my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress where I will never be shaken.(Pslam 62:1,2 NLT) In verses 5 and 6, David repeats almost the same thing except he says, I wait quietly before God for my hope is in Him. I took some time to meditate on this.
Life sometimes throws us a curve and many times, for me it can seem that it disrupted what I was doing! My head can get very busy and move so fast through so many thoughts that sometimes I wonder if I have lost the capacity to be quiet before Him. But David seemed to be in a life or death situation as he penned this particular psalm and he made it a point to quiet himself before the One who could give hope and salvation.
Today, I purpose to quiet myself before the God of my salvation, my hope, fortress and strength. I will purposefully stop the chaos of my day to meditate on His goodness - this means that I cannot let my situation be overwhelming to me or the focus of my thoughts. If my situation has all of my thoughts and energy then I can lose hope, and strength can fail. So I will turn my thoughts back to Him today and allow Him to give me hope no matter how bleak the situation may seem.
Will you join me today in quietly waiting for Him?
Life sometimes throws us a curve and many times, for me it can seem that it disrupted what I was doing! My head can get very busy and move so fast through so many thoughts that sometimes I wonder if I have lost the capacity to be quiet before Him. But David seemed to be in a life or death situation as he penned this particular psalm and he made it a point to quiet himself before the One who could give hope and salvation.
Today, I purpose to quiet myself before the God of my salvation, my hope, fortress and strength. I will purposefully stop the chaos of my day to meditate on His goodness - this means that I cannot let my situation be overwhelming to me or the focus of my thoughts. If my situation has all of my thoughts and energy then I can lose hope, and strength can fail. So I will turn my thoughts back to Him today and allow Him to give me hope no matter how bleak the situation may seem.
Will you join me today in quietly waiting for Him?
His Children
As I sat down with my coffee this morning to read for a bit, my Bible fell open to 1John 3. I read through several verses of the chapter but my attention kept going back to the first couple of verses. Isn't it amazing how God loves us and allows us to be called His children? (NLT) The first verse or two talks about how we are His children and perhaps the rest of the world has a difficult time understanding that we can be called the sons of God. (1John 3:1-3)
Of course being the son of a king comes with great responsibility as we see in verse 3. We must keep ourselves pure just like Christ is pure. Just because our lives took a sometimes sharp turn into caregiving does not mean that we are relieved of this responsibility. We still serve Him and we are still His children. Meditating on being His child made me think about another scripture that is in Isaiah.
Isaiah 49:15 asks if a mother could forget her nursing child. It's interesting that the prophet used the analogy of a nursing child because any woman will tell you that it can be painful to abruptly stop nursing. The pain would remind you of the child and there would be no way to not remember that you had a child! Then he goes on to say - even if that were possible,I would not forget you! What a comforting thought it was to me to remember that I am His child and He will not forget me!
Today I will meditate on what it means to be a child of God...and I will rejoice in the truth that He has not forgotten me, and will not forget me...but He continues to walk this rocky road with me!
Of course being the son of a king comes with great responsibility as we see in verse 3. We must keep ourselves pure just like Christ is pure. Just because our lives took a sometimes sharp turn into caregiving does not mean that we are relieved of this responsibility. We still serve Him and we are still His children. Meditating on being His child made me think about another scripture that is in Isaiah.
Isaiah 49:15 asks if a mother could forget her nursing child. It's interesting that the prophet used the analogy of a nursing child because any woman will tell you that it can be painful to abruptly stop nursing. The pain would remind you of the child and there would be no way to not remember that you had a child! Then he goes on to say - even if that were possible,I would not forget you! What a comforting thought it was to me to remember that I am His child and He will not forget me!
Today I will meditate on what it means to be a child of God...and I will rejoice in the truth that He has not forgotten me, and will not forget me...but He continues to walk this rocky road with me!
Now This is Good News
I'm not sure about anyone else, but I have loads of questions on a daily basis. Caregiving was not what I was planning to do with my latter years. I had other things in mind like traveling the world. If I am not careful I can get all bogged down in what could have been and then I cannot adequately deal with the day. But today I stumbled across a scripture as I was reading and it really hit me that even if life doesn't look like I thought it was supposed to...it does not mean it's all messed up. That was good news for my mind and heart this morning.
Romans was written by the apostle Paul to the Romans. What's significant about that is that he was writing on purpose to the Gentile population. He was writing to encourage them in this new walk of faith that they had embraced. In verse 16 of the first chapter he begins to tell them that he isn't ashamed of the gospel of Christ; that it is the power of God for those who believe. And then verse 17 was what grabbed my attention this morning: This Good News tells us how God makes us right in His sight. This is accomplished from start to finish by faith. (NLT)
Even if life does not go as planned and it does not look perfect - we do not lose our right standing (righteousness) with God. Through faith He carries us and keeps us in right standing with Him. Even in all my whining, griping and thousands of questions a day - He keeps me in right standing with Him. Now that's some good news! Our righteousness is not disrupted by the rough days or the smooth days that life throws at us. We just have to keep trusting in Him!
Today my meditation will be on the righteousness He has provided for me to walk in.
Romans was written by the apostle Paul to the Romans. What's significant about that is that he was writing on purpose to the Gentile population. He was writing to encourage them in this new walk of faith that they had embraced. In verse 16 of the first chapter he begins to tell them that he isn't ashamed of the gospel of Christ; that it is the power of God for those who believe. And then verse 17 was what grabbed my attention this morning: This Good News tells us how God makes us right in His sight. This is accomplished from start to finish by faith. (NLT)
Even if life does not go as planned and it does not look perfect - we do not lose our right standing (righteousness) with God. Through faith He carries us and keeps us in right standing with Him. Even in all my whining, griping and thousands of questions a day - He keeps me in right standing with Him. Now that's some good news! Our righteousness is not disrupted by the rough days or the smooth days that life throws at us. We just have to keep trusting in Him!
Today my meditation will be on the righteousness He has provided for me to walk in.
The Peace of Integrity
I'm still reading Job and really enjoying it. One thing that is standing out in my mind is how his friends keep arguing that there is some sort of flaw in Job or he would not be in this terrible situation. I guess it stands out to me so much because I had people say these same types of things to me when I was very ill in 1986. (It's a long story I'll try to write somewhere else - but obviously I lived!) Job's "friends" attack his character each time they speak because they were trying to analyze it according to their own religious dogma. Yet all the way through Job maintains that he has not sinned to cause all the tragedy to come upon him. Isn't that among some of our first thoughts after a tragedy strikes and we try to settle into a new normal?
In Job 13:15 Job makes one of the most faith-filled statements that is contained in scriptures. He states that even if God slays him - he will still trust Him. Some versions say still hope in Him. While this is a powerful viewpoint on life and Job is making the declaration that no matter what happens to him while journeying through life he will continue to trust and hope in God - the next statement is what caught my heart today.
In the last phrase of this verse, Job says Nevertheless, I will argue my ways before Him. He was not going to back down on the fact that he had integrity with himself and God. I think he trusted God enough to know that if he had done something wrong the Lord would have informed him of such. David made a similar statement in Psalm 101:2 when he said I will live a life of integrity in my own home. How powerful is it to know that we have integrity with ourselves? Plus we know that we are pleasing Him in our actions.
I'll be the first to admit that I cannot say I am blameless...there are those days that I lose it. Aides don't show up, supplies are delayed, doctors do not return calls...I get frustrated. Don't we all? My peace is not found in my actions always being the purest...but in the fact that after I punch the punching bag a few times, run a couple of miles and mutter a couple of curse words...I do finally run to Him! And you know what? He's always right there - even when I am not "perfect"!
Today I will meditate on His ever abiding presence - even when I am frustrated. I will learn to turn to Him sooner when things get out of hand. And I will commit to having integrity in my own home.
In Job 13:15 Job makes one of the most faith-filled statements that is contained in scriptures. He states that even if God slays him - he will still trust Him. Some versions say still hope in Him. While this is a powerful viewpoint on life and Job is making the declaration that no matter what happens to him while journeying through life he will continue to trust and hope in God - the next statement is what caught my heart today.
In the last phrase of this verse, Job says Nevertheless, I will argue my ways before Him. He was not going to back down on the fact that he had integrity with himself and God. I think he trusted God enough to know that if he had done something wrong the Lord would have informed him of such. David made a similar statement in Psalm 101:2 when he said I will live a life of integrity in my own home. How powerful is it to know that we have integrity with ourselves? Plus we know that we are pleasing Him in our actions.
I'll be the first to admit that I cannot say I am blameless...there are those days that I lose it. Aides don't show up, supplies are delayed, doctors do not return calls...I get frustrated. Don't we all? My peace is not found in my actions always being the purest...but in the fact that after I punch the punching bag a few times, run a couple of miles and mutter a couple of curse words...I do finally run to Him! And you know what? He's always right there - even when I am not "perfect"!
Today I will meditate on His ever abiding presence - even when I am frustrated. I will learn to turn to Him sooner when things get out of hand. And I will commit to having integrity in my own home.
Some Kind of Warrior
David was a warrior who faced many battles. The warrior side of him is seen even when he was a youth and went out to face Goliath who was many times his own size. In 1 Samuel 17:28, it says that even after Goliath's lofty threats, David ran out to meet him. David would face many battles after that monumental day. But there would also come a day when he would have to encourage himself in the Lord.
Sometimes it can seem like the caregiver's day is one battle after another; and like David, we must many times encourage ourselves in the Lord. It takes some kind of warrior to do that, don't you think? I know - most caregivers are not going to think of themselves as warriors! Our M.O. is more along the lines of well, we just do what we do. While that is true and we feel like we just put one foot in front of the other most of the time...we are doing much more than that. Let me explain.
As a caregiver I have battled depression and that is not uncommon for us. But how many times have you thought for sure that you were down for the count...when all of a sudden out of nowhere came encouragement? Maybe a phone call from a friend, a brief email or even a facebook status just said the right thing. Instead of being down for the count you felt yourself (almost involuntarily) pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps like the ole timer's used to say! That's because you are some kind of warrior! And because your heart is in what you are doing for your loved one as well as your heart being hidden in His - it's inevitable that you will eventually win out.
I've never thought of Job as an encouraging book but lately I have been reading it and finding great encouragement (may write a study guide for it later lol!). In Job 6:10 he said this to his "friends" but it is still my consolation, and I rejoice in unsparing pain that I have not denied the words of the Holy One. Job was a warrior just like you! Even in the midst of the pain and grief that can be an everyday thing, the heavy load many caregivers carry alone and the dark night of the soul...we continue to press on through the unsparing pain to hold on to His words. That's some kind of warrior!
Today I will meditate on the truth that He gives me the strength for the battle. I'll think about how David ran into battle with Goliath...and how he encouraged himself in the Lord. I will also think about what makes me a warrior...will you join me in holding on to His word for one more day?
Sometimes it can seem like the caregiver's day is one battle after another; and like David, we must many times encourage ourselves in the Lord. It takes some kind of warrior to do that, don't you think? I know - most caregivers are not going to think of themselves as warriors! Our M.O. is more along the lines of well, we just do what we do. While that is true and we feel like we just put one foot in front of the other most of the time...we are doing much more than that. Let me explain.
As a caregiver I have battled depression and that is not uncommon for us. But how many times have you thought for sure that you were down for the count...when all of a sudden out of nowhere came encouragement? Maybe a phone call from a friend, a brief email or even a facebook status just said the right thing. Instead of being down for the count you felt yourself (almost involuntarily) pulling yourself up by your own bootstraps like the ole timer's used to say! That's because you are some kind of warrior! And because your heart is in what you are doing for your loved one as well as your heart being hidden in His - it's inevitable that you will eventually win out.
I've never thought of Job as an encouraging book but lately I have been reading it and finding great encouragement (may write a study guide for it later lol!). In Job 6:10 he said this to his "friends" but it is still my consolation, and I rejoice in unsparing pain that I have not denied the words of the Holy One. Job was a warrior just like you! Even in the midst of the pain and grief that can be an everyday thing, the heavy load many caregivers carry alone and the dark night of the soul...we continue to press on through the unsparing pain to hold on to His words. That's some kind of warrior!
Today I will meditate on the truth that He gives me the strength for the battle. I'll think about how David ran into battle with Goliath...and how he encouraged himself in the Lord. I will also think about what makes me a warrior...will you join me in holding on to His word for one more day?
Still Here
This week I decided to return to Job. It may sound odd to those most familiar with his story, but I was actually looking for some comfort. While his friends did not offer him much comfort or hope, my thinking was that by reading some of the things Job said I could gain a better perspective and find peace in dealing with the situation. So far, I haven't got past chapter 1. I hope we can take this journey through the book of Job together.
The first thing that caught my attention was that Job was blameless, a man of integrity, and he stayed away from evil. (You do know that Job wrote the book, right? *smile*) The second thing that caught my attention was further down when Satan confronted God about Job. He said that God protected Job, his family and all of his possessions from harm. He suggested that if Job lost everything, he would curse God to His face.
This is where I stopped for some inner reflections. As a caregiver, nothing is easy. Everything in our worlds have likely changed; and for me it has literally been everything. I have to look at myself and measure my own integrity - or lack of integrity. I certainly cannot honestly say that I have always said real pleasant things to God during this trial of faith; and I cannot say I have always had faith. But I can say that I have not cursed God or walked away from Him because of the tragedy, losses, or pain.
Losing everything is interesting because only then can you find out what you are truly holding on to. Only in the deepest trials of life do we find where our hope lies. Life doesn't lie. Instead, it reveals where our trust is, where our hope is and how we choose to make it through the dark night of the soul. We are still around. We are still seeking God; and He is still our provider and the keeper of our souls. Will I ever measure up to the patience or integrity of Job, not likely! lol. But I can say that even with a life of loss He is still my God!
Think about perspective today. Are we cursing Him for the storm? Or are we thankful He has chosen to walk through it with us? Let's be thankful today that He is still an ever-present God!
The first thing that caught my attention was that Job was blameless, a man of integrity, and he stayed away from evil. (You do know that Job wrote the book, right? *smile*) The second thing that caught my attention was further down when Satan confronted God about Job. He said that God protected Job, his family and all of his possessions from harm. He suggested that if Job lost everything, he would curse God to His face.
This is where I stopped for some inner reflections. As a caregiver, nothing is easy. Everything in our worlds have likely changed; and for me it has literally been everything. I have to look at myself and measure my own integrity - or lack of integrity. I certainly cannot honestly say that I have always said real pleasant things to God during this trial of faith; and I cannot say I have always had faith. But I can say that I have not cursed God or walked away from Him because of the tragedy, losses, or pain.
Losing everything is interesting because only then can you find out what you are truly holding on to. Only in the deepest trials of life do we find where our hope lies. Life doesn't lie. Instead, it reveals where our trust is, where our hope is and how we choose to make it through the dark night of the soul. We are still around. We are still seeking God; and He is still our provider and the keeper of our souls. Will I ever measure up to the patience or integrity of Job, not likely! lol. But I can say that even with a life of loss He is still my God!
Think about perspective today. Are we cursing Him for the storm? Or are we thankful He has chosen to walk through it with us? Let's be thankful today that He is still an ever-present God!
The God Who Sees
It is difficult to understand the life of caregiving unless you are a caregiver. And even then, each situation is so very unique we do not always have the capacity to understand each others' situations. Sometimes it hurts most when those we think are supposed to care do not seem to. That can be family, friends or health care professionals. It's really frustrating when they don't get it. You know?
Sometimes one of the most frustrating things about caregiving is the inability to have a schedule. We can keep a shell of one, but it seems there's always something that comes along to disrupt it. Our loved one has a bad day, aides don't show up, nurses decide to come during the only time you were going to have to yourself for the week....yes that really happened! And the load becomes heavier...not even because of the caregiving itself, but because of all the baggage that comes along with caregiving.
This morning has been one of those mornings for me; made up of those situations that make the regular load just a little bit heavier. But my mind went to Hagar. She's not usually one of our favorites by any means even though the situation was not totally her fault. In Genesis 16 she bears some of the blame since she was taunting Sarah. I suppose I found it comforting that God met her where she was even though she was not perfect. Most of us did nothing wrong to end up in a caregiving situation, so I guess it makes the possibility of God seeking us out more likely! lol.
Hagar was distraught and had run away from her mistress who was treating her harshly. She was pregnant (thank God that's not a factor!), being treated badly because she mouthed off, and was stuck out in the desert with no one to see after her. But God found her. It's not the encounter I want to focus on though, it's what she said afterwards. In Genesis 16:13 Hagar said, the God Who sees me." She existed to God and that mattered.
Today I will meditate on the fact that I am not out here alone. That God does indeed see me; that will carry me through this day. He sees me...
Sometimes one of the most frustrating things about caregiving is the inability to have a schedule. We can keep a shell of one, but it seems there's always something that comes along to disrupt it. Our loved one has a bad day, aides don't show up, nurses decide to come during the only time you were going to have to yourself for the week....yes that really happened! And the load becomes heavier...not even because of the caregiving itself, but because of all the baggage that comes along with caregiving.
This morning has been one of those mornings for me; made up of those situations that make the regular load just a little bit heavier. But my mind went to Hagar. She's not usually one of our favorites by any means even though the situation was not totally her fault. In Genesis 16 she bears some of the blame since she was taunting Sarah. I suppose I found it comforting that God met her where she was even though she was not perfect. Most of us did nothing wrong to end up in a caregiving situation, so I guess it makes the possibility of God seeking us out more likely! lol.
Hagar was distraught and had run away from her mistress who was treating her harshly. She was pregnant (thank God that's not a factor!), being treated badly because she mouthed off, and was stuck out in the desert with no one to see after her. But God found her. It's not the encounter I want to focus on though, it's what she said afterwards. In Genesis 16:13 Hagar said, the God Who sees me." She existed to God and that mattered.
Today I will meditate on the fact that I am not out here alone. That God does indeed see me; that will carry me through this day. He sees me...
Am I Dead Yet?
Did you ever have one of those days that when you thought it couldn't possibly get any worse, it did? Yesterday it was like that around here. I do not have to explain the wide range of horrible emotions that go through the caregiver's heart when they feel even for an instant that they missed something. We can feel like we do a very poor job - it does not matter if it's true or not. You see a sore, miss a feeding; it could be anything that just happens because even though caregivers are awesome - we must admit we are not perfect.
On one hand we get this superman mentality like, if I can do this (caregiving), I must be able to do anything! This is accompanied by emotions from the other end of the spectrum that are associated with feeling like life is over for us. This is most likely the way it will be from here on out for many of us. Life as we knew it BC (before caregiving) is no more. The lifestyle we had may have slowly oozed away with the declining health of a loved one; or it may have been stripped away in an instant by a tragedy.
When we are down this can weigh on us very heavily. We cannot just jump up and go to the movie, to have coffee with a friend or to the store. Even if our loved one is mobile it's not always as easy as it sounds. I did not die when I became a caregiver. I still love, laugh, cry, work and play like I did before; it just looks a lot different and is in a different setting than it used to be.
While I was thinking about life BC yesterday and dealing with pressing issues I had this wonderful epiphany. I am not dead. And immediately my mind went to Romans 8:11 which says: But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. The Old KJV says He will quicken - put life into my body. I held on to that scripture yesterday as it got tougher the longer the day went. I meditated on the truth that His Spirit lives inside of me to give me strength.
Today, I will continue to meditate on this truth. He lives inside me...and I am not dead yet! In Him no matter what my life looks like, I am alive! I will move out of the way today and let His life live this life through me! (Galatians 2:20)
On one hand we get this superman mentality like, if I can do this (caregiving), I must be able to do anything! This is accompanied by emotions from the other end of the spectrum that are associated with feeling like life is over for us. This is most likely the way it will be from here on out for many of us. Life as we knew it BC (before caregiving) is no more. The lifestyle we had may have slowly oozed away with the declining health of a loved one; or it may have been stripped away in an instant by a tragedy.
When we are down this can weigh on us very heavily. We cannot just jump up and go to the movie, to have coffee with a friend or to the store. Even if our loved one is mobile it's not always as easy as it sounds. I did not die when I became a caregiver. I still love, laugh, cry, work and play like I did before; it just looks a lot different and is in a different setting than it used to be.
While I was thinking about life BC yesterday and dealing with pressing issues I had this wonderful epiphany. I am not dead. And immediately my mind went to Romans 8:11 which says: But if the Spirit of Him who raised Jesus from the dead dwells in you, He who raised Christ Jesus from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you. The Old KJV says He will quicken - put life into my body. I held on to that scripture yesterday as it got tougher the longer the day went. I meditated on the truth that His Spirit lives inside of me to give me strength.
Today, I will continue to meditate on this truth. He lives inside me...and I am not dead yet! In Him no matter what my life looks like, I am alive! I will move out of the way today and let His life live this life through me! (Galatians 2:20)
He's Got This!
Things can pile up very quickly in the day of a caregiver; an aide cancels, your loved one is ill. There are tons of things that seem to need to be done just this instant and by noon you are already exhausted and have an entire day of chores that still need to be completed. When you realize you actually don't have time to attend an online Time Management seminar, you know it's pretty bad! Well that is just the tip of the iceberg for how the morning was here today.
As I sipped the fresh coffee, I began praying and asking the Lord to carry me. For caregivers the day can just look too long sometimes. A brief mental search of scriptures brought nothing up so I fired up the computer after finishing a few important chores and didn't find one about Him carrying (although I am certain that He does because there are times like today when there is no strength...I know you understand.) The search then turned to Him catching me when I fall. The caregiver does not have to worry about falling away from Him because we need Him too much! But we can certainly fall beneath the load even on the best of days. For those days I need Him to catch me!
While I was looking for a scripture that talked about Him catching me I found this one in the Message. It says: If your heart is broken, you’ll find GOD right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.(Psalm 34:18) That's where I am right now. I feel like I have been kicked in the gut and caregivers can just simply live with a broken heart! There is a grief over the loss of what was as well as what our future (which is now a present) was supposed to look like. He can deal with all of that!
Today I will rest in the fact that He is going to help me catch my breath so I can adequately finish out this day. I need His right here presence today so I will embrace Him as I square my shoulders back and prepare to face the rest of today. Tell yourself: He's got this!
As I sipped the fresh coffee, I began praying and asking the Lord to carry me. For caregivers the day can just look too long sometimes. A brief mental search of scriptures brought nothing up so I fired up the computer after finishing a few important chores and didn't find one about Him carrying (although I am certain that He does because there are times like today when there is no strength...I know you understand.) The search then turned to Him catching me when I fall. The caregiver does not have to worry about falling away from Him because we need Him too much! But we can certainly fall beneath the load even on the best of days. For those days I need Him to catch me!
While I was looking for a scripture that talked about Him catching me I found this one in the Message. It says: If your heart is broken, you’ll find GOD right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.(Psalm 34:18) That's where I am right now. I feel like I have been kicked in the gut and caregivers can just simply live with a broken heart! There is a grief over the loss of what was as well as what our future (which is now a present) was supposed to look like. He can deal with all of that!
Today I will rest in the fact that He is going to help me catch my breath so I can adequately finish out this day. I need His right here presence today so I will embrace Him as I square my shoulders back and prepare to face the rest of today. Tell yourself: He's got this!
Can He Afford That?
After yesterday's thoughts about how the Lord gives us patience, hope, peace and encouragement I looked at a few more scriptures along that line. (We may stay on this thought for awhile!) I ended up in John 14:27 where Jesus tells us I am leaving you with a gift; peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give isn't like the peace the world gives, so don't be troubled or afraid.(NLT)
In this world today I am not sure we are aware of what it really feels to have peace of mind and heart. The world is in turmoil all around us and our lives as caregivers can be full of it. We can get up in the morning, have ourselves all together (emotions included) and something will occur to try and remove our peace. Perhaps an aide does not show up or there's a confrontation with a health provider who really does not want to do their job (or so it seems), or maybe it's just that our loved one is not having the best day - which means we do not either. But all of a sudden it can be a crazy day when we were so geared for a peaceful one. So since He can give us His peace - I'd say let's take it! But can He afford that? What will He do for peace?
I am really kind of kidding here obviously He will still have plenty of peace of His own - He is peace! But somehow I find comfort in the King of all creation who has unwavering peace of mind and heart thinking about me...considering that I may run low today and He generously offers His peace to calm my heart and mind. Somehow that is a very comforting picture.
Today I will rest in His peace and the fact that the timeless One took some time to share His soul peace with me.
In this world today I am not sure we are aware of what it really feels to have peace of mind and heart. The world is in turmoil all around us and our lives as caregivers can be full of it. We can get up in the morning, have ourselves all together (emotions included) and something will occur to try and remove our peace. Perhaps an aide does not show up or there's a confrontation with a health provider who really does not want to do their job (or so it seems), or maybe it's just that our loved one is not having the best day - which means we do not either. But all of a sudden it can be a crazy day when we were so geared for a peaceful one. So since He can give us His peace - I'd say let's take it! But can He afford that? What will He do for peace?
I am really kind of kidding here obviously He will still have plenty of peace of His own - He is peace! But somehow I find comfort in the King of all creation who has unwavering peace of mind and heart thinking about me...considering that I may run low today and He generously offers His peace to calm my heart and mind. Somehow that is a very comforting picture.
Today I will rest in His peace and the fact that the timeless One took some time to share His soul peace with me.
God Who Gives...
To be honest, many times because of my work load (which is in addition to caregiving) I do not always take the time to do a proper "devotion" in the mornings. I am sure other caregivers totally understand! And sometimes I do not write one here everyday although that was my intention when the blog was first setup. Some days I feel more like I need to find one than share one...but then comes the day I can crawl out of that all too familiar caregiver's fog we discussed before and scramble up some small bit of hope or encouragement that could be beneficial.
This morning when I first woke up I had Romans 15:13 on my mind for some reason so I turned to it in my Bible and reread it. It says this: I pray that God, who gives you hope, will keep you happy and full of peace... I do not have to go around looking for hope since He gave it to me! But then, if you look at verse 5 of the same chapter, you will read this: May God, who gives you this patience and encouragement help you live in harmony...Further on down in the chapter in verse 33 we read this: and now may God, who gives us his peace be with you all. That's quite a bundle of gifts if you ask me. He gives us hope, encouragement and peace! I believe with that thought I can make it through today.
As a caregiver, these are four essential resources that help us be able to carry the daily load. I need hope just to believe that everything is going to be okay, and that He is still with me and helping me through each moment. I need patience just to keep walking on this extremely long (seemingly unending) journey. And I need encouragement to have the strength to continue on; I need God to tell me it's going to be okay and that I can do this because I am not doing it alone - even if I feel like it sometimes. I need peace - in my mind, my heart and my body; peace is so important and because of the turmoil of each day it can seem so far away...
I am thankful today and will meditate on the truth that He gives me peace, encouragement, patience and hope to live today.
This morning when I first woke up I had Romans 15:13 on my mind for some reason so I turned to it in my Bible and reread it. It says this: I pray that God, who gives you hope, will keep you happy and full of peace... I do not have to go around looking for hope since He gave it to me! But then, if you look at verse 5 of the same chapter, you will read this: May God, who gives you this patience and encouragement help you live in harmony...Further on down in the chapter in verse 33 we read this: and now may God, who gives us his peace be with you all. That's quite a bundle of gifts if you ask me. He gives us hope, encouragement and peace! I believe with that thought I can make it through today.
As a caregiver, these are four essential resources that help us be able to carry the daily load. I need hope just to believe that everything is going to be okay, and that He is still with me and helping me through each moment. I need patience just to keep walking on this extremely long (seemingly unending) journey. And I need encouragement to have the strength to continue on; I need God to tell me it's going to be okay and that I can do this because I am not doing it alone - even if I feel like it sometimes. I need peace - in my mind, my heart and my body; peace is so important and because of the turmoil of each day it can seem so far away...
I am thankful today and will meditate on the truth that He gives me peace, encouragement, patience and hope to live today.
Simply Overwhelmed
This morning as I was getting up to bolus my son and start getting prepared for the day, I was overwhelmed. Of course this is nothing new for the caregiver. Many times we've discussed here the long list of things that have to be done on a daily basis. (For those who may have missed it - it begins with bathing, laundry, feeding, transferring, range of motion exercises and so forth...) For someone who is not a caregiver, think about every single thing you do in a day - now think about how it would be if you were not able to do any of it yourself. For the caregiver in many circumstances we must do all the daily living skills two times; once for ourselves and once for our loved one. Just caregiving on any given day can be overwhelming.
Now add to all that additional trips to therapy and trying to make a living at home. (I am a freelance writer) This sort of describes where I was when I woke up this morning...simply overwhelmed.
My mind went immediately to Psalm 61. It's a familiar scripture so I began to just sort of pray it in my own way. Hear my cry O Lord, Attend unto my prayer...from the ends of the earth have I cried unto you...when my heart is overwhelmed please lead me to the Rock that is higher than I...(sorry I memorized the old King James as a kid.) Then the Psalmist David goes on to seemingly encourage himself: for Thou hast been a shelter from the storm, a high tower, Lord from the enemy. And that is where I am today. Life is a little overwhelming today - so I will ask to be led to the Rock who can shelter me. Then I will remind myself of how He has sustained me in the past. He will remain my rock, my shelter, my place of refuge. He hasn't moved - nor will I.
Today I will tuck myself up under His wings and rely on Him for strength to carry me through...one more day. Will you join me?
Now add to all that additional trips to therapy and trying to make a living at home. (I am a freelance writer) This sort of describes where I was when I woke up this morning...simply overwhelmed.
My mind went immediately to Psalm 61. It's a familiar scripture so I began to just sort of pray it in my own way. Hear my cry O Lord, Attend unto my prayer...from the ends of the earth have I cried unto you...when my heart is overwhelmed please lead me to the Rock that is higher than I...(sorry I memorized the old King James as a kid.) Then the Psalmist David goes on to seemingly encourage himself: for Thou hast been a shelter from the storm, a high tower, Lord from the enemy. And that is where I am today. Life is a little overwhelming today - so I will ask to be led to the Rock who can shelter me. Then I will remind myself of how He has sustained me in the past. He will remain my rock, my shelter, my place of refuge. He hasn't moved - nor will I.
Today I will tuck myself up under His wings and rely on Him for strength to carry me through...one more day. Will you join me?
Temporary Shelter or Permanent Home?
One of my Facebook friends posted Psalm 18:2 on their wall early this morning so I pulled out my Bible with my morning cup of coffee and read through this familiar and favorite passage. I read over it a couple of times and then I just meditated on the first couple of verses. As I was reading and rereading and meditating my thoughts began to be focused on how He could be my rock and my fortress.
David was on the battlefield when then was written and I am sure there were many times he crawled up into a rocky area and sought refuge and safety. Sometimes the life of a caregiver can parallel a battlefield as we are many times the only advocate our loved one has. It's a shame but lots of times I find myself battling for things that are included in his care plan; for the things and care my son is supposed to get anyway. God is indeed our rock during those times.
But a fortress is a little bit different. When David is referring to a rock it could be interpreted a cave, or a solid place to seek temporary shelter, or safety. It may or may not have supplies like food or water packed inside. But a fortress is more permanent. It has everything that is needed to survive and thrive. The area is surrounded by protective walls with gates that shut to keep out the enemy. There are food and water supplies along with many of the things just needed for daily life.
I thought about how thorough God is. He is my temporary shelter when I am in the heat of a battle. I can run, hide and find safety from the flaming arrows of the enemy. But He is also my fortress - I can live there - in Him.
This will be my meditation today. I will look to Him to provide all I need just to make it through today. As Jesus said each day has its own trouble. So just today - I will trust Him for peace, sustenance, strength, wisdom and anything else that might be needed. And I will do the work I am called to do...rest in Him.
David was on the battlefield when then was written and I am sure there were many times he crawled up into a rocky area and sought refuge and safety. Sometimes the life of a caregiver can parallel a battlefield as we are many times the only advocate our loved one has. It's a shame but lots of times I find myself battling for things that are included in his care plan; for the things and care my son is supposed to get anyway. God is indeed our rock during those times.
But a fortress is a little bit different. When David is referring to a rock it could be interpreted a cave, or a solid place to seek temporary shelter, or safety. It may or may not have supplies like food or water packed inside. But a fortress is more permanent. It has everything that is needed to survive and thrive. The area is surrounded by protective walls with gates that shut to keep out the enemy. There are food and water supplies along with many of the things just needed for daily life.
I thought about how thorough God is. He is my temporary shelter when I am in the heat of a battle. I can run, hide and find safety from the flaming arrows of the enemy. But He is also my fortress - I can live there - in Him.
This will be my meditation today. I will look to Him to provide all I need just to make it through today. As Jesus said each day has its own trouble. So just today - I will trust Him for peace, sustenance, strength, wisdom and anything else that might be needed. And I will do the work I am called to do...rest in Him.
What Time I Am Afraid
Maybe it's just me, but there can be a lot of fears in caregiving.I am afraid I will hurt my loved one (not purposefully of course), make a wrong decision or just mess something up. It's very difficult to make decisions on behalf of someone else...for me anyway! Then since I am a caregiver to my son I worry about what happens when I am gone? Who will care for him then? There are also concerns about getting older and how that looks now as opposed to BC (before caregiving). If we are not careful thoughts can overrun us and charge our emotions with fear.
That's why this morning I turned my meditation to a scripture that I taught my kids when they were little. It's Psalm 56:3 and it simply says what time I am afraid, I will trust in You. It was written by an adult David while he was not faring too well in battle. What? David was afraid too? Is that possible? We are so conditioned to think that it is a grave sin to be afraid of anything - and so we tend to secretly shake and try to keep our deepest fears hidden. Well, let me be the first to admit: I am Afraid!
There is no sin in being afraid - and it's not lack of faith. The sin is in relying on man to save us instead of trusting in the Lord. David didn't say "I'll never be afraid." He said when I am afraid I will trust. We will get nowhere and remain emotionally immature until we can admit our own feelings of fear and helplessness. And really, until we can get there - we won't trust Him!
So today - I will admit my fears; I will share them with Him. And then - you got it - once again - I will trust in Him.
That's why this morning I turned my meditation to a scripture that I taught my kids when they were little. It's Psalm 56:3 and it simply says what time I am afraid, I will trust in You. It was written by an adult David while he was not faring too well in battle. What? David was afraid too? Is that possible? We are so conditioned to think that it is a grave sin to be afraid of anything - and so we tend to secretly shake and try to keep our deepest fears hidden. Well, let me be the first to admit: I am Afraid!
There is no sin in being afraid - and it's not lack of faith. The sin is in relying on man to save us instead of trusting in the Lord. David didn't say "I'll never be afraid." He said when I am afraid I will trust. We will get nowhere and remain emotionally immature until we can admit our own feelings of fear and helplessness. And really, until we can get there - we won't trust Him!
So today - I will admit my fears; I will share them with Him. And then - you got it - once again - I will trust in Him.
Inside Out
Some days are easier to bear than others, for whatever reason. It could simply be our emotional state, how we feel physically, series of good or bad things that happen, or just dealing with the day to day grind of the caregiving situation. During the times we are stretched beyond our strength we can become tired inside and out! When weariness sets in there is really no one who can help but God!
Ephesians 3:16 in the old King James Version of the Bible Paul prays that they will be strengthened with might by the Holy Spirit in the inner man. The New Living says that He gives you mighty inner strength through the Holy Spirit. Either way since we are believers, Holy Spirit is living in us and He can give us strength from the inside out. It must be part of the Holy Spirit's overall job description because in Acts when they were told to go wait for the Spirit, they were told that they would receive power from on high.
So it should not be surprising to know that He can fill us up with the Lord's strength for whatever lies ahead of us today or behind us from tomorrow. I say it that way because it may be yesterday's tragedy that brought us to today. But no matter where we find ourselves today He can give us strength to walk it out and since He lives inside our being this strength comes from the inside and strengthens our whole being body, soul and spirit.
I think the key may lie with us in that we must learn how to wait on God. That's a lot more difficult than it sounds. Especially for caregivers as we are many times having to motivate ourselves to keep going, not lose heart and press on into today. But verse 11 may also give us a little help on releasing His strength inside to strengthen our outside. In this verse Paul is still praying the same prayer for the Ephesians and he prays that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts...I love that! We already discussed how we all have the same Christ and no one has any more of Him than another. But the last part of this verse tells us how to let Him be more at home in our hearts - as you trust in Him.
Isn't that the key? We must learn to trust Him more - not that we get more of Him but so that He is more comfortable in our hearts. Today I will put my energies to work to trust Him more so that He will be comfortable in my heart and I will be positioned to receive His strength.
Ephesians 3:16 in the old King James Version of the Bible Paul prays that they will be strengthened with might by the Holy Spirit in the inner man. The New Living says that He gives you mighty inner strength through the Holy Spirit. Either way since we are believers, Holy Spirit is living in us and He can give us strength from the inside out. It must be part of the Holy Spirit's overall job description because in Acts when they were told to go wait for the Spirit, they were told that they would receive power from on high.
So it should not be surprising to know that He can fill us up with the Lord's strength for whatever lies ahead of us today or behind us from tomorrow. I say it that way because it may be yesterday's tragedy that brought us to today. But no matter where we find ourselves today He can give us strength to walk it out and since He lives inside our being this strength comes from the inside and strengthens our whole being body, soul and spirit.
I think the key may lie with us in that we must learn how to wait on God. That's a lot more difficult than it sounds. Especially for caregivers as we are many times having to motivate ourselves to keep going, not lose heart and press on into today. But verse 11 may also give us a little help on releasing His strength inside to strengthen our outside. In this verse Paul is still praying the same prayer for the Ephesians and he prays that Christ will be more and more at home in your hearts...I love that! We already discussed how we all have the same Christ and no one has any more of Him than another. But the last part of this verse tells us how to let Him be more at home in our hearts - as you trust in Him.
Isn't that the key? We must learn to trust Him more - not that we get more of Him but so that He is more comfortable in our hearts. Today I will put my energies to work to trust Him more so that He will be comfortable in my heart and I will be positioned to receive His strength.
Second Class Citizens?
Sometimes little phrases can carry a big punch. This morning as I was reading in 2 Corinthians these two words grew larger than life for me: we all. I know - it's just two words and they are found in verse 18 of chapter 3. But we all with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory just as from the Lord the Spirit. This verse and phrase stuck out to me as a caregiver this morning because sometimes we can feel like God's second class citizens.
It can be easy to feel that way because we are so separated from the "rest of the world." It's not easy to get to "church" if we can go at all. And if we cannot play by their rules for the most part they just ignore us. It's not really their fault they just don't know how to minister to us, friend us, or love us from where we are. Some teach these passages here in 2 Corinthians as if they are only applying to the pastor, apostle or other ministers... but you know what? Paul said we all!
Preachers, pastors, prophets, five-fold, nor the Pope have any more of Christ than we do! WE ALL are being transformed into the image of the Lord; WE ALL are filled up with Christ. God did not change His intents and purposes for us just because something happened along our way. Caregivers are not second class citizens in heaven. As a matter of fact the one of the last things Jesus said to a person on this earth before He died was to His disciple John. In John 19:25-27 He told John to take care of His mother.
We have no less of Christ in us because of our earthly position as caregivers; and ministers of any sort have no more of Christ in them because of their position. We are all hidden in Him and He is in us period. We may for the most part be ignored by the church, or just not fit in with them like we used to but we can hold our head up high and know just like Job - Our Redeemer Lives! And He lives in us no differently than in anyone else. We are not heaven's second class citizens, we are children of the King and He is walking through this furnace with us as we are still being transformed into the image of Christ here in the earth.
It can be easy to feel that way because we are so separated from the "rest of the world." It's not easy to get to "church" if we can go at all. And if we cannot play by their rules for the most part they just ignore us. It's not really their fault they just don't know how to minister to us, friend us, or love us from where we are. Some teach these passages here in 2 Corinthians as if they are only applying to the pastor, apostle or other ministers... but you know what? Paul said we all!
Preachers, pastors, prophets, five-fold, nor the Pope have any more of Christ than we do! WE ALL are being transformed into the image of the Lord; WE ALL are filled up with Christ. God did not change His intents and purposes for us just because something happened along our way. Caregivers are not second class citizens in heaven. As a matter of fact the one of the last things Jesus said to a person on this earth before He died was to His disciple John. In John 19:25-27 He told John to take care of His mother.
We have no less of Christ in us because of our earthly position as caregivers; and ministers of any sort have no more of Christ in them because of their position. We are all hidden in Him and He is in us period. We may for the most part be ignored by the church, or just not fit in with them like we used to but we can hold our head up high and know just like Job - Our Redeemer Lives! And He lives in us no differently than in anyone else. We are not heaven's second class citizens, we are children of the King and He is walking through this furnace with us as we are still being transformed into the image of Christ here in the earth.
The Easy Stuff
It can be quite the battle to keep from being cynical or hard for lots of people these days, but especially for those who are in a constant daily struggle. We can wonder where God is and if He is still watching us why some things happen. And add to that being abandoned by people we loved and trusted and you have the makings of an emotional mess. Then on top of all that - we have to deal with the crazy health system; some people who are just doing a job with no heart and some who are not even doing the job part! It can be so easy to just feel like we are mad at everyone and if we are not careful we can turn our "expectors" off...it's easier that way.
In the midst of all the struggles we must endure each day there are times when we can feel like we suffer great loss. The lives we used to know and enjoy have passed away and many are prisoners in their own home...or that's the way it feels sometimes. Some days we count these losses; others we adjust and smile and just trudge on through.
Hosea 10:12 talks about breaking up the "fallow" ground. (that's old KJV!) I always thought that fallow just meant hard. But a little more study and I found out that it means ground that's already been plowed and then has sat and become hard again. If we do not guard our hearts carefully our hearts can be fallow.
The end of verse 11 says that Judah must break up the hard ground and then the Lord will rain righteousness. Judah means praise...When we praise Him even in the hard times, it will keep our hearts from being hardened. But that's not always easy - even though it's doable. Sometimes there doesn't seem to be a place to start.
Two things are mentioned in verse 12 that are unchangeable: righteousness and love. In these crazy worlds caregivers live in where things can change dramatically from one second to the next, these two things will never change. They are the easy stuff. We do not have to work at all - they will not leave us! He is our righteousness no matter what life throws our way; and His love for us cannot be changed!
Today let us praise Him for His steadfast love. Let us praise Him that He is our righteousness and we do not have to work to please Him. He is happy with us and we are hidden in Him.
In the midst of all the struggles we must endure each day there are times when we can feel like we suffer great loss. The lives we used to know and enjoy have passed away and many are prisoners in their own home...or that's the way it feels sometimes. Some days we count these losses; others we adjust and smile and just trudge on through.
Hosea 10:12 talks about breaking up the "fallow" ground. (that's old KJV!) I always thought that fallow just meant hard. But a little more study and I found out that it means ground that's already been plowed and then has sat and become hard again. If we do not guard our hearts carefully our hearts can be fallow.
The end of verse 11 says that Judah must break up the hard ground and then the Lord will rain righteousness. Judah means praise...When we praise Him even in the hard times, it will keep our hearts from being hardened. But that's not always easy - even though it's doable. Sometimes there doesn't seem to be a place to start.
Two things are mentioned in verse 12 that are unchangeable: righteousness and love. In these crazy worlds caregivers live in where things can change dramatically from one second to the next, these two things will never change. They are the easy stuff. We do not have to work at all - they will not leave us! He is our righteousness no matter what life throws our way; and His love for us cannot be changed!
Today let us praise Him for His steadfast love. Let us praise Him that He is our righteousness and we do not have to work to please Him. He is happy with us and we are hidden in Him.
Run and Not Grow Weary
As a runner I view this commonly used scripture differently. I have run just enough miles (only about 500 this year so far) to know that there are certain spots that weariness can set in an stop you if you let it. Well, as a caregiver this morning I became weary and this scripture came to mind.
But as I thought about how weary I was and what it means to wait on the Lord so that He could renew my strength my mind went to the preceding verses so I decided to look it up and read it once again. The verses just before this most quoted one talk about young people growing weary and tired; of vigourous young men falling terribly. That's in verse 30. And back up one more verse to Isaiah 40:29 and it says that He gives strength to the weary. and that He increases power to him who lacks might.
When we were younger we thought we were invincible. We drove fast and took all sorts of crazy chances because "bad" things were not going to happen to us. And maybe sometimes we still try to live our lives in high gear. Maybe until we come to the end of our own strength we do not think to ask for His...to wait for His. Until we lack might - He can offer no power. Until we become weary - He can offer no strength. Perhaps this is because as caregivers what must happen in a day just has to happen we cannot stop because we are tired, frustrated or want to quit. So we press on...and on...and on...
Will you join me today as I just take some time to wait? An old song says, "I am tired, I am weary I am worn." Indeed. Once we can stop and admit we have no might - we have no strength - He will fill us up. This is when we gain new strength. Let us wait on Him yet again...
But as I thought about how weary I was and what it means to wait on the Lord so that He could renew my strength my mind went to the preceding verses so I decided to look it up and read it once again. The verses just before this most quoted one talk about young people growing weary and tired; of vigourous young men falling terribly. That's in verse 30. And back up one more verse to Isaiah 40:29 and it says that He gives strength to the weary. and that He increases power to him who lacks might.
When we were younger we thought we were invincible. We drove fast and took all sorts of crazy chances because "bad" things were not going to happen to us. And maybe sometimes we still try to live our lives in high gear. Maybe until we come to the end of our own strength we do not think to ask for His...to wait for His. Until we lack might - He can offer no power. Until we become weary - He can offer no strength. Perhaps this is because as caregivers what must happen in a day just has to happen we cannot stop because we are tired, frustrated or want to quit. So we press on...and on...and on...
Will you join me today as I just take some time to wait? An old song says, "I am tired, I am weary I am worn." Indeed. Once we can stop and admit we have no might - we have no strength - He will fill us up. This is when we gain new strength. Let us wait on Him yet again...
Are You"Two" Tired?
Take a second and think about all the things you did yesterday... Now think about all the things you have to complete yet today... Does it make you tired just thinking about it? Caregiving can be physically draining; and we can easily just be physically tired. But the trouble is that it is also emotionally draining.Then we are "two" tired. Our body feels like we are dragging ourselves around to complete all the necessary tasks that must be accomplished in a day...and then we have to handle the entire situation emotionally as well. There may be better days where things go smoothly, aides show up and supplies arrive on time...but there are always those times where decisions have to be made for someone else and it can wear us down...and we become two tired- body and soul.
And then the real trouble begins when we get three tired: body, soul and spirit. Not only do we have to take care of a whole other person while trying to maintain our own health and well being we can wonder where God is in all this. (or at least I do...) And if He is here with us - why isn't He doing anything? Does it ever feel that way?
It may be time to exchange strength with Him.We know according to Isaiah that God never gets tired. And we know by our own experiences that we do! Psalm 29 is one of my long time favorite passages because it starts in verse one with us giving God our strength. And it ends in verse eleven with Him giving us His strength. I think it works better after we complete verse one first. We must give Him our strength- as small as it may feel - and as difficult as it may be to find right now - when we gather up or muster up what little we can find and pour it out before Him in praise and thanksgiving - we will get His strength in return.
Now take a minute and find something to be thankful for - no matter how small it may seem. Once you find the first thing to be thankful for another will follow...and another...
It's all about perspective. No, we do not live in an ideal situation. It's tiring, emotional and draining and we can be two tired or we can even be three tired. (body, soul and spirit) Even though we may feel we have no control over our circumstances we can still control our hearts and minds.Today let us take time to turn our thoughts to His greatness (Isaiah 40 is a great place to start; or Genesis 1); and put our effort into purposefully finding things to thank Him for...(breath, food, children, our minds) and as we pour this out before His throne we will find that He will make a great exchange by giving us His strength instead of ours to walk through today.
And then the real trouble begins when we get three tired: body, soul and spirit. Not only do we have to take care of a whole other person while trying to maintain our own health and well being we can wonder where God is in all this. (or at least I do...) And if He is here with us - why isn't He doing anything? Does it ever feel that way?
It may be time to exchange strength with Him.We know according to Isaiah that God never gets tired. And we know by our own experiences that we do! Psalm 29 is one of my long time favorite passages because it starts in verse one with us giving God our strength. And it ends in verse eleven with Him giving us His strength. I think it works better after we complete verse one first. We must give Him our strength- as small as it may feel - and as difficult as it may be to find right now - when we gather up or muster up what little we can find and pour it out before Him in praise and thanksgiving - we will get His strength in return.
Now take a minute and find something to be thankful for - no matter how small it may seem. Once you find the first thing to be thankful for another will follow...and another...
It's all about perspective. No, we do not live in an ideal situation. It's tiring, emotional and draining and we can be two tired or we can even be three tired. (body, soul and spirit) Even though we may feel we have no control over our circumstances we can still control our hearts and minds.Today let us take time to turn our thoughts to His greatness (Isaiah 40 is a great place to start; or Genesis 1); and put our effort into purposefully finding things to thank Him for...(breath, food, children, our minds) and as we pour this out before His throne we will find that He will make a great exchange by giving us His strength instead of ours to walk through today.
Sharing Grace
One of the things caregivers can miss the most is just living. That spontaneity of being able to decide on a moment's notice that you want to go to a movie, or run to the mall. The caregiver most times really does not have that option. We can miss the things we used to enjoy, like hiking or shopping; or just going to church. For the most part we finally get used to just staying home - but that doesn't mean our freedom isn't missed.
Somehow for me, when I can find someone in scripture who I at least think understands in some measure it can bring peace. Paul made what I feel is a very interesting statement in Acts 20:22-24. He said that Holy Spirit had told him that he was going to face afflictions and imprisonment in every city. He didn't hang his head and cry about all his losses (like I do!); he said this instead: But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.
Now most of us did not know what was coming - and some have an idea. It can be difficult in the struggle to figure out why He called us to begin with and some who were in ministry before can feel as though they have been stripped and a lot of it does not make sense anymore. But God doesn't change His mind. It may just look a lot different than it did BC (before caregiving).
Paul continued to share the grace of God even though he found himself in prison. What better way to share how His grace is carrying us through - than right here from the midst of the fiery storm? It can be so easy to get underneath the heavy load and lose our focus. But what if we saw every phone call, every person who comes to help, or to visit as an opportunity to share His grace? Today that will be my focus, I will look at every encounter as an opportunity...will you?
Somehow for me, when I can find someone in scripture who I at least think understands in some measure it can bring peace. Paul made what I feel is a very interesting statement in Acts 20:22-24. He said that Holy Spirit had told him that he was going to face afflictions and imprisonment in every city. He didn't hang his head and cry about all his losses (like I do!); he said this instead: But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.
Now most of us did not know what was coming - and some have an idea. It can be difficult in the struggle to figure out why He called us to begin with and some who were in ministry before can feel as though they have been stripped and a lot of it does not make sense anymore. But God doesn't change His mind. It may just look a lot different than it did BC (before caregiving).
Paul continued to share the grace of God even though he found himself in prison. What better way to share how His grace is carrying us through - than right here from the midst of the fiery storm? It can be so easy to get underneath the heavy load and lose our focus. But what if we saw every phone call, every person who comes to help, or to visit as an opportunity to share His grace? Today that will be my focus, I will look at every encounter as an opportunity...will you?
A Deep Breath for My Soul
Did you ever turn around in the middle of the afternoon and wonder where the day has gone so fast? When everything works like it should, a day can be hectic. Supplies come in, meals get delivered, aides actually show up; the front door just keeps swinging some days. It's a good thing, but it can sure be like a whirlwind sometimes, especially if you factor in all the other daily caregiving that is not optional. If we are not careful a day can get away from us and we are left scratching our heads wondering which way it went.
Yesterday was like that around here and so when I found Psalm 131:2 this morning during my morning devotions it brought a quiet in my soul that was much needed. The psalmist said, But I have stilled and quieted myself just as a small child is quiet with his mother... And then he goes on in the last verse to say his hope is in the Lord.
What stood out to me here was that the psalmist said he quieted himself...he quieted his own soul before the Lord by reminding himself that his hope was in Him. For today I will keep my soul at ease by meditating on the Lord who is my hope, my help and my strength. Funny, when I stop to think about that for just a minute it's like a deep breath for the soul...
Yesterday was like that around here and so when I found Psalm 131:2 this morning during my morning devotions it brought a quiet in my soul that was much needed. The psalmist said, But I have stilled and quieted myself just as a small child is quiet with his mother... And then he goes on in the last verse to say his hope is in the Lord.
What stood out to me here was that the psalmist said he quieted himself...he quieted his own soul before the Lord by reminding himself that his hope was in Him. For today I will keep my soul at ease by meditating on the Lord who is my hope, my help and my strength. Funny, when I stop to think about that for just a minute it's like a deep breath for the soul...
Sometimes I Feel Two-Faced!
As a caregiver life can be ambiguous in that we are certain that we are uncertain. But this week in my studies I found that we are in very good company.I frequently read Psalm 119 as I find it very encouraging and it always points my heart back to His word. This week a couple of verses in particular caught my attention.
In verses 27 and 28 (NLT) the psalmist has that sort of ambiguous tone. The end of verse 27 states I will meditate on your wonderful miracles; but the very next verse starts with I weep with grief...And of course true to David's nature he has these two phrases sandwiched between thoughts about the Word.
I found that sometimes this oddity describes the way we can feel. On the one hand, we are so thankful for all that God has done.We have done several devotions about being thankful in the midst of our furnace where we take time to purposefully find things (some days are more difficult than others) to thank Him for. Thankful for small progresses or that the aide actually showed up; perhaps long awaited supplies finally arrived, or just thankful that He gave us breath and strength to face another day.
And then in the next moment we may be weeping with grief over the situation or out of compassion for our suffering loved one. When I find passages like this one, it helps me feel at least like I am somewhat normal. It's okay to thank Him with one breath and wonder what's going on with the next - it's the nature of the situation.But our final answer lies a couple of verses further down.
Verse 30 says: I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by Your laws.Today let us determine to walk in His word no matter what our circumstances look like. Even in those ambiguous moments where we feel joy and grief at the same time - let us turn to His word for our comfort. Let us recall that He is walking through this furnace with us so we will not lose heart.
In verses 27 and 28 (NLT) the psalmist has that sort of ambiguous tone. The end of verse 27 states I will meditate on your wonderful miracles; but the very next verse starts with I weep with grief...And of course true to David's nature he has these two phrases sandwiched between thoughts about the Word.
I found that sometimes this oddity describes the way we can feel. On the one hand, we are so thankful for all that God has done.We have done several devotions about being thankful in the midst of our furnace where we take time to purposefully find things (some days are more difficult than others) to thank Him for. Thankful for small progresses or that the aide actually showed up; perhaps long awaited supplies finally arrived, or just thankful that He gave us breath and strength to face another day.
And then in the next moment we may be weeping with grief over the situation or out of compassion for our suffering loved one. When I find passages like this one, it helps me feel at least like I am somewhat normal. It's okay to thank Him with one breath and wonder what's going on with the next - it's the nature of the situation.But our final answer lies a couple of verses further down.
Verse 30 says: I have chosen to be faithful; I have determined to live by Your laws.Today let us determine to walk in His word no matter what our circumstances look like. Even in those ambiguous moments where we feel joy and grief at the same time - let us turn to His word for our comfort. Let us recall that He is walking through this furnace with us so we will not lose heart.
An Old Familiar Psalm
It is very important for caregivers to try to find the positive things to rejoice in each day. We can rejoice in any small improvement in our loved one we are caring for, be glad the aide actually showed up to help, rejoice that at least the few necessities that are provided and covered by insurance showed up, or be thankful for a call or visit from a friend. Although the battle can be difficult, small things can help lighten our load on many days.
There are those days where we just struggle - with everything. And some days we just get through. After a series of days, weeks, months of just trying to get through yesterday one of my favorite worship leaders posted a new song he had written. It is called, "When I Worship You." It was the song of the day for sure. I played it over and over. It's on the front page of his website if you want to check it out: www.dennisjernigan.com
The phrase that stuck out to me yesterday was about Him being with me. Somehow that simple thought not only stuck with me, but really helped carry me through the day. It reminded me of a very familiar psalm. Psalm 23 contains a verse that says, Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me. (That's old KJV there!) He is the constant in my fluctuating day-to-day life. No matter how dark, or how light the valley grows - He is with me. I may be crying one minute and laughing the next, good news with one phone call and bad with the next - but He is with me.
Today just meditate on the fact that He has not left us in the storm. He is the only constant in our lives and He chooses to stay with us. A phrase in one of my favorite choruses says:
There are those days where we just struggle - with everything. And some days we just get through. After a series of days, weeks, months of just trying to get through yesterday one of my favorite worship leaders posted a new song he had written. It is called, "When I Worship You." It was the song of the day for sure. I played it over and over. It's on the front page of his website if you want to check it out: www.dennisjernigan.com
The phrase that stuck out to me yesterday was about Him being with me. Somehow that simple thought not only stuck with me, but really helped carry me through the day. It reminded me of a very familiar psalm. Psalm 23 contains a verse that says, Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me. (That's old KJV there!) He is the constant in my fluctuating day-to-day life. No matter how dark, or how light the valley grows - He is with me. I may be crying one minute and laughing the next, good news with one phone call and bad with the next - but He is with me.
Today just meditate on the fact that He has not left us in the storm. He is the only constant in our lives and He chooses to stay with us. A phrase in one of my favorite choruses says:
I can't comprehend His vast presence
as heaven and earth He does fill
Yet His choice of habitation
is in a heart that is still...
Today, let us remember that He will not leave us unarmed, or alone. He is walking through this furnace with us...and if you get a chance go watch that video by DJ. It's the worship song of the day!
Who's Tired?
It can be the same day-in and day-out for caregivers. There are generally a lot of comments on Facebook on Friday's about being glad it's the "weekend," and on Monday's you see all the posts about how horrid Monday's are. But for the caregiver it really means nothing most of the time as most days are the same; over and over and over again! Do you ever just get tired? (Of course I ask this knowing that we do!) For me it is comforting to know that He never gets tired.
Right now in my very small circle of friends I know people who are in pain, a family who lost 2 family members in a day - one was their son, a bicyclist who was run over by a car this weekend, a person with a brain tumor, people with cancer, and that's just the beginning. The sad part is there are not many "church" people reaching out to these in pain. Why? As a general rule they are good at lending a hand in an emergency - but there is no endurance for the long hauls that many people find themselves in. I am so glad that God does not get tired!
Isaiah 40:27-28 says this in the New Living Translation: O Israel, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? Have you never heard or understood? don't you know that the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding. As I read this today while bearing all my friends and acquaintances before Him, I saw this in a totally different way.
I had always thought of the term "everlasting" to mean the Forever God; and of course it is. But for me today it meant something special...that He has the grits and the guts to keep going with us through our trials. He can out last it - He has what it takes. And the other part was about the depths of His understanding. I know it means in essence that we can't measure how deep His understanding is in light of creation...but I believe it is correct in context to state the He understands us far more than we give Him credit for. He is not some distant God standing afar off wondering what we are going to do with life. He is near. He is not tired and He really does understand us.
Today let these thoughts comfort you. Allow Him to understand your situation. He probably understands it better than you do! Allow Him to be your strength today. He is alive! He is near! He is energetic and full of understanding...and He won't give out on the journey!
Right now in my very small circle of friends I know people who are in pain, a family who lost 2 family members in a day - one was their son, a bicyclist who was run over by a car this weekend, a person with a brain tumor, people with cancer, and that's just the beginning. The sad part is there are not many "church" people reaching out to these in pain. Why? As a general rule they are good at lending a hand in an emergency - but there is no endurance for the long hauls that many people find themselves in. I am so glad that God does not get tired!
Isaiah 40:27-28 says this in the New Living Translation: O Israel, how can you say the Lord does not see your troubles? How can you say God refuses to hear your case? Have you never heard or understood? don't you know that the Lord is the everlasting God, the Creator of all the earth? He never grows faint or weary. No one can measure the depths of His understanding. As I read this today while bearing all my friends and acquaintances before Him, I saw this in a totally different way.
I had always thought of the term "everlasting" to mean the Forever God; and of course it is. But for me today it meant something special...that He has the grits and the guts to keep going with us through our trials. He can out last it - He has what it takes. And the other part was about the depths of His understanding. I know it means in essence that we can't measure how deep His understanding is in light of creation...but I believe it is correct in context to state the He understands us far more than we give Him credit for. He is not some distant God standing afar off wondering what we are going to do with life. He is near. He is not tired and He really does understand us.
Today let these thoughts comfort you. Allow Him to understand your situation. He probably understands it better than you do! Allow Him to be your strength today. He is alive! He is near! He is energetic and full of understanding...and He won't give out on the journey!
Help! I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up!
Do you ever feel that way? Sometimes our days can be so very busy with all the tasks that must be done to take care of our loved ones that the weight of those responsibilities and our emotions can make us feel that way. We cannot wait until the emotions drag us down to the depths of despair because it is a very difficult climb out. I am finding that as soon as I feel overwhelmed I must take action so that depression does not get a hold on my emotions. Once they take you under - it's a long climb out!
The second emotions start firing at you and trying to drag you under is when you have to stop it. That sounds really easy - but in reality it's a whole struggle in itself. But we can do this. This morning I encouraged myself with Psalm 121. The psalmist is looking for his source of help. Where does my help come from? There are days that it seems there is no help for us. But we, like the psalmist, must lift our eyes to answer our own question -My help comes from the Lord! He is our source of strength. You know as well as I do it's a waste of time to sit around and wait for someone to encourage us! lol...We really must learn how to encourage ourselves in the Lord. Many times that is easier said than done.
Take a few moments (when you can find them!) and read through Psalm 121 today. Meditate on the truth that He is our strength. He is our help and the keeper of our soul. It helps me relax when I can remember that He is the one who can keep me whole - emotionally and mentally - as I learn to lean on Him.
The second emotions start firing at you and trying to drag you under is when you have to stop it. That sounds really easy - but in reality it's a whole struggle in itself. But we can do this. This morning I encouraged myself with Psalm 121. The psalmist is looking for his source of help. Where does my help come from? There are days that it seems there is no help for us. But we, like the psalmist, must lift our eyes to answer our own question -My help comes from the Lord! He is our source of strength. You know as well as I do it's a waste of time to sit around and wait for someone to encourage us! lol...We really must learn how to encourage ourselves in the Lord. Many times that is easier said than done.
Take a few moments (when you can find them!) and read through Psalm 121 today. Meditate on the truth that He is our strength. He is our help and the keeper of our soul. It helps me relax when I can remember that He is the one who can keep me whole - emotionally and mentally - as I learn to lean on Him.
A State of Mind
There is no way to describe all the things that may pass through a caregiver's mind in a given day. There are many thoughts about all the tasks that must be completed in the day, dealing with various health care personnel, as well as thoughts about the future. And there are the same daily chores of dealing with finances, work and family that non-caregivers must deal with too. If we are not careful our minds can get away from us. For many of us that may mean a lot of fear, dread or even depression. Thankfully, there is a way to defeat the types of thoughts that try to drag us down emotions first.
There is an interesting passage in Philippians 4 that has helped me keep myself in the right state of mind. Honestly, some days are easier than others because we live in a situation that doesn't have a "hold" button. There is no pausing in caregiving; some days it is literally putting one foot in front of the other to get through the day. Our minds can work against us - or we can make them help us out. Quite honestly some days it is easier to keep a positive state of mind than other days. But Philippians 4:8 instructs us to keep our minds on things that are right, pure,lovely, and good. There is always a positive way to look at things - but it may be difficult to find it!
The interesting thing about Paul's instructions to keep our minds on good things is that it follows a key way to be able to accomplish it. Verse 6 says to let our requests be made known to God with thanksgiving. When we look about us and find things to be thankful for it will be easier to keep our minds on good and pleasant things.
Today look around you. Even though we are not in an ideal situation with pain all around and in every dimension, there are good things happening too. Let's take some time to thank God for the good things He is doing in our lives even in the midst of the storm. It may take a conscious effort to keep our minds on Him - but the peace that will guard our hearts will be worth it. Be thankful.
There is an interesting passage in Philippians 4 that has helped me keep myself in the right state of mind. Honestly, some days are easier than others because we live in a situation that doesn't have a "hold" button. There is no pausing in caregiving; some days it is literally putting one foot in front of the other to get through the day. Our minds can work against us - or we can make them help us out. Quite honestly some days it is easier to keep a positive state of mind than other days. But Philippians 4:8 instructs us to keep our minds on things that are right, pure,lovely, and good. There is always a positive way to look at things - but it may be difficult to find it!
The interesting thing about Paul's instructions to keep our minds on good things is that it follows a key way to be able to accomplish it. Verse 6 says to let our requests be made known to God with thanksgiving. When we look about us and find things to be thankful for it will be easier to keep our minds on good and pleasant things.
Today look around you. Even though we are not in an ideal situation with pain all around and in every dimension, there are good things happening too. Let's take some time to thank God for the good things He is doing in our lives even in the midst of the storm. It may take a conscious effort to keep our minds on Him - but the peace that will guard our hearts will be worth it. Be thankful.
The Secret to Hope
It's funny how a tiny ray of hope can change everything. Proverbs 13:12 says that when hope is deferred or delayed it makes the heart sick. That's pretty serious because when we get to the point that our heart is sick, our soul is not well then we are in a troubled condition. Personally, I can say that when those dark times swing around and I begin to lose hope it makes it very difficult for me to deal with everyday stuff. I call it tired from the inside out. Not only is it a terrible place to be - it's very difficult to try to get out of as well. But let just a tiny ray of hope shine into a situation that's been darkened by life - and Bam! Everything changes.
Romans 15:13 is a prayer that the apostle Paul is sending out for the Christians in Rome. He prays that the God of hope will keep them in peace and that He will make them overflow with hope through Holy Spirit's power. Hope is one of the three things that will endure according to 1 Corinthians 13:13. And Titus 2:13 says that we are looking forward to that blessed hope when we will see His glory revealed.
There's just something about having hope. Maybe there's not a chance that some situations are ever going to change into what we would like for them to be...but God can place hope in our hearts as we trust Him. Sometimes hope can seem elusive - and we have to go find it. If we are ever going to find hope - we'll have to look for it in Him. He is our hope - on both sides of eternity. Today I purpose to look for a ray of hope in Him. It's not in the doctors, nurses, or anything here and now - but my hope is in Him. That's the secret to having hope today - looking for it in the right place! in Him!
Romans 15:13 is a prayer that the apostle Paul is sending out for the Christians in Rome. He prays that the God of hope will keep them in peace and that He will make them overflow with hope through Holy Spirit's power. Hope is one of the three things that will endure according to 1 Corinthians 13:13. And Titus 2:13 says that we are looking forward to that blessed hope when we will see His glory revealed.
There's just something about having hope. Maybe there's not a chance that some situations are ever going to change into what we would like for them to be...but God can place hope in our hearts as we trust Him. Sometimes hope can seem elusive - and we have to go find it. If we are ever going to find hope - we'll have to look for it in Him. He is our hope - on both sides of eternity. Today I purpose to look for a ray of hope in Him. It's not in the doctors, nurses, or anything here and now - but my hope is in Him. That's the secret to having hope today - looking for it in the right place! in Him!
Ever Wanna Give Up?
Have you ever just wanted to give up? I mean, face it - life can be tough especially when you are faced with daily challenges and adversity. But if giving up was a real option - What would you give up to? We really are not alone when we've had all we think we can handle. For many of my acquaintances our days are filled with pain in one way or another. Some of my friends live in constant physical pain and then there are many who like me, and other caregivers, have this nagging emotional pain that does not ever go away. Either way it's pain on a very high level.And there are days it does not seem worth it to go on.
We are not alone! In Jeremiah 20 we find that he had been beaten and placed in prison in stocks - only for speaking God's words. He must have been in every kind of pain imaginable. His body hurt from the intense beating, his soul hurt and even his spirit was in pain as he cried out I will not remember Him or speak anymore in His name...Jeremiah really wanted to give up for at least a second. Recently- I have felt the same way! But...
Just like Jeremiah when we reach that point of all we can carry - we have something, someone, Who will carry us. Jeremiah goes on to say that just at that point when he really wants to give up and give in - he finds that God's word is in him like a fire and he cannot hold it in! And even though everyone was literally against him Jeremiah found that the Lord is with me like a dread champion! And He is with us too - no matter what we face.
When it gets to be too much - we may take a rest - but we will never give up! As we continue to hide His word in our heart we will find that the Holy Spirit is right here with us - carrying us and comforting us through the turmoils of life. He really is our peace - but instead of giving up on life because of the pain - we must give in to Him in spite of the pain. He will comfort, He will carry and He will protect our spirits from harm. Let us trust Him for one more day.
We are not alone! In Jeremiah 20 we find that he had been beaten and placed in prison in stocks - only for speaking God's words. He must have been in every kind of pain imaginable. His body hurt from the intense beating, his soul hurt and even his spirit was in pain as he cried out I will not remember Him or speak anymore in His name...Jeremiah really wanted to give up for at least a second. Recently- I have felt the same way! But...
Just like Jeremiah when we reach that point of all we can carry - we have something, someone, Who will carry us. Jeremiah goes on to say that just at that point when he really wants to give up and give in - he finds that God's word is in him like a fire and he cannot hold it in! And even though everyone was literally against him Jeremiah found that the Lord is with me like a dread champion! And He is with us too - no matter what we face.
When it gets to be too much - we may take a rest - but we will never give up! As we continue to hide His word in our heart we will find that the Holy Spirit is right here with us - carrying us and comforting us through the turmoils of life. He really is our peace - but instead of giving up on life because of the pain - we must give in to Him in spite of the pain. He will comfort, He will carry and He will protect our spirits from harm. Let us trust Him for one more day.
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