Showing posts with label thanksgiving. Show all posts
Showing posts with label thanksgiving. Show all posts

Seek and Ye Shall Find

chris and me standing head to head

In our lives as caregivers, there can be a lot of things to complain about, right? On the most typical day, so many tiny things can go wrong. With the load we carry every single day, even the smallest things weigh so much. Something small like a dropped fork becomes a catastrophic event. Of course, this is a mild exaggeration, but it really feels that way sometimes. We can easily live on the emotional edge where every feeling can be intense. I may have discovered a way to counter some of it.

 As I was taking care of Chris this morning, I found myself finding little things to be thankful for. Of course, I see his hands are severely contracted, but I was thankful for the little bit of movement some of his joints still have. As I continued to go through our morning routine of changing out the gauze in his hands, cleaning the feeding tube and changing its pad, and dressing, I kept purposefully looking for things to give thanks for. A funny thing happened....

My whole demeanor changed. Now, that wasn't the purpose, but it was easily identifiable. I began to feel lighter, less depressed, and in an overall better mood. I thought, geez, what if I did this more often? (Now that's a thought, huh?)

What if as we navigate through our caregiving days, we purposefully look for thankful moments. It's easy to find the rough spots. It may sometimes seem like the hard stuff seeks us out - huh? But what if as we move through today we try to find things to be thankful for? It's an actual game-changer and attitude lifter! Not only is there power in gratitude, but there's also a real perspective adjustment that occurs.

Jesus said - seek and ye shall find. These words are true, of course. But we really will find what we are looking for. Are we looking to be sick? We'll find a growth, a bump, a spot - or something to worry about. Are we looking to be lonely? We may miss the true impact of a friend's quick text or phone call. We won't be able to see past what we are looking for to the reality of what we have.

Today, I will switch my focus to finding Him right here in the cave. I'll purposefully shift my gaze toward things I can be thankful for rather than things that send me over the emotional edge. Nothing is too small to generate thanksgiving, I won't overlook a thing! Will you join me?


Attitude of Gratitude

In Oklahoma, things are starting to make a move back toward something that vaguely resembles normal. For caregivers, it may not look much different than our "norm" anyway. But it does seem to cause a sense of uneasiness. Things are normal - but they are not. People are getting back out - but it's not the same yet. Churches are opening their doors but some are not. It's an interesting time to be alive with equally interesting things to observe, isn't it?

While things seem to be getting some better in a few ways, it still feels disruptive. Who do we trust for information, if anyone? How do we know it's safe or not safe for ourselves or our loved ones. The continued uncertainty can lead to these and many more questions that don't have simple, easy answers.

As thoughts were racing through my head this morning, I struggled to get a grip on them and tried to slow them down. I read a few verses here and there and then settled in Psalm 100. Enter His gates with thanksgiving in your heart and His courts with praise...I thought about that for a while and then started to think about things I could be thankful for today.

I know I have shelter, food, and clothing for today. My kids and grandkids are here and in good health. I thanked Him for a beautiful morning for a walk and for the strength and breath to do it. From there, it began to blossom outwards as other things I could be thankful for ran through my mind. It really did help my outlook and my attitude even though I know I have a long day ahead.

Today, take a moment or two, or three to thank Him. Start with your breath and beating heart and work out from there. It helps shape your day and your attitude about everything. There is always something to be thankful for - always. Start with the truth that He didn't abandon us in time. He walks through time with us - we are never alone. My meditations today will focus on finding things to thank Him for. Will you join me?

Picture Perfect

Since I have finally got an aide I trust I can get out a little more when she is here. Often I run errands which go a lot faster than when I get to take Chris along with me. Last week I got to stop by a little trail and grab a quick run. As I neared the back of the loop, the path was lined on both sides with beautiful flowers. They were draping everywhere and caused me to stop and enjoy the beauty for a moment. Nature's just cool like that!

As I stood there I noticed that some of the flowers had stickery edges on the leaves and on closer observation some of the plants were nearly dangerous for my bare legs. I started thinking about how things are not always as they appear and they are not always as lovely as it seems on the surface.

Even though I was enjoying the beauty of the flowers there were stickers, thorns, briers and probably even snakes lurking nearby. Sometimes as a caregiver I can look around at other people's lives and think about how easy they have it or how beautiful and nice their lives seem to be. But even though it can look gorgeous to an outsider, there's always something lurking in the background that perhaps we just don't know about.

I stopped to pause and think about my favorite Bible stories. We like them because things usually turned out okay in the end. But if we stop and think not one of our Bible heroes had an easy life. We can read the story in a matter of a few minutes without realizing the impact of time. A chapter takes a few seconds to read but the individual lived years in turmoil.

Our Bible heroes were not perfect, but they didn't have wonderful lives either. Actually, not one of them had a perfect life. But they have our admiration because they endured struggles, fights and difficulties. We love reading their stories:

because they endured
because they held to their faith
because they made it through the battle or died trying

Life is never all good. But it's not ever all bad either. It's made up of a little bit of both. Early on in my caregiving journey I had great difficulty enjoying the good parts of life. My daughter became pregnant with my first grandchild just a few months after my son's wreck. I was literally living in the nursing home with him. Life was not  good. I had to learn how to embrace the joys even though in deep, grieving pain. Over time, I've gotten better at it! Now I tend to embrace those beautiful moments. I have to let  myself enjoy my grandchildren, enjoy trips with my daughter, enjoy coffee with a friend. 

Even though life didn't turn out picture perfect, there is still lots of good around. I'm learning to enjoy the flowers without letting the thorns disturb me. I didn't look away from the flowers on the trail the other day because of thorns or stickers; I enjoyed the beauty they provided. We can look at our Bible heroes and see there was good and bad, but the bad is only the focus as we celebrate what they've overcome. As believers, our stories have happy endings too, even if it doesn't look like it from here. 

Today I am going to purposefully look for spots of joy. And then I'm going to embrace them! I will meditate on Romans 8:28 that tells me that He can turn everything into good. Even though I can't see it or feel it - I know the ending He writes will be good. My meditation and thoughts will be on finding the good in life today because it's there. And when I spot it - I will offer a prayer of thanksgiving. Will you join me?

It is a Good Thing!

I've been spending some time trying to get myself back together. As if the caregiver doesn't already have enough on their plate - life goes on and sometimes it can feel like it's throwing repeated blows. Enough to knock many people out - but not the fearless caregiver! *smile*

One thing I've found many caregivers deal with is depression. Hey, caregiving is not an easy life and it can get you down. We can't say anything about it - can't always admit it - and don't always have to deal with it; but it can be a struggle for some. For many it is a constant struggle - that includes me.

When you are fighting depression, everything is heavier and it can be very difficult to get a positive perspective on anything. But this morning as I was finishing up my devotions I had something happen and I just started thanking God for the good stuff. At times, it can even be difficult to figure out where the good stuff went. But if you look long and hard - and if you have to longer and harder - there is always something to give Him thanks for. My thanks for today started with bank accounts that have positive balances. (Don't laugh - it's real!) I checked the balances and just said, "thank you" to the Lord. And once I said that, I was able to think of something else to be thankful for...and then something else.

Psalm 92:1 says: It is a good thing to give thanks to the Lord! Even though many of the things that cause stress have not been removed from my prayer list, and are not answered yet...there are many things to thank Him for. I can thank Him for breath, life, food in my kitchen, my grandchildren who warm my heart, and of course my coffee! *smile* No matter how small it can seem - start thanking Him for something. Thanksgiving grows in the heart when we purposefully pursue it. No matter how small of a thing we start with - giving Him thanks for it will help us find something else to thank Him for and it will create a chain reaction of praise to Him. Try it.

Being thankful even in life's most difficult seasons can help create a positive attitude and it's a lot easier to go through the day with a positive attitude than carrying the burden of a negative one. And you know what? It really does always come back to one thing ultimately - trusting Him.

Today I will purposefully look for things to thank Him for and I will continue with an attitude of gratitude. My thoughts will be on what He has done in my life and not on what I feel is lacking. I will conscientiously trust in Him for one more day. Will you join me?

Quick Change of Clothes

I don't know about you but lately my days seem overly busy and downright crazy at times. It can be so easy to get carried away in the details of caring for another. And try making one simple change to something as basic as a meal plan, changing a supply order or going with a new company for an aide and a snowball effect of crazy events can begin. There's a reason we can feel like we have too many irons in the fire. We do. But they are all necessary in order to take care of ourselves and our loved ones.

Caregivers have days where we are just tired. It does not change the long list of chores we have to accomplish for the day, but we can be tired before we even begin.

It can be easy to get caught up in the world of caregiving and forget about ourselves. We sort of wear this caregiver's mantle because we need to. We can be that take-charge-kind-of-person it takes to get things done. Who else is going to do it, right?

This morning when I arose I thought about how tired I was before the day even got started. In my daily devotions, I found myself in Isaiah 61. There were several phrases that caught my eye today.

comfort all who mourn
giving a garland instead of ashes
oil of gladness instead of mourning
mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting

I paused and thought about just these phrases in the first three verses. Honestly, I wondered if I could have some insteads. Garlands, gladness and praise sounds good to me! My thoughts sort of landed on that last one, a mantle of praise instead of a spirit of fainting. 

We are the same person we were before we became a caregiver; but it's important to remember that before we are a caregiver, we are a child of God. Today, I decided to take off my caregiver mantle for a little bit and put on a mantle of praise.

It's as easy as it is difficult to praise God. If you don't know where or how to begin, just think about the things He's done and tell Him "good job!" Even in our crazy lives there is something to be thankful for - I like to start there. Just take a moment or two to express your thanks to Him. It will change your perspective and lighten your heart.

Today I will meditate on Him and His great works in my life and in the lives of others. I will intentionally find ways to praise and thank God. My thoughts will be on His greatness rather than my weakness. I will imagine I have on a mantle of praise today. Will you join me?

Are You"Two" Tired?

 Take a second and think about all the things you did yesterday... Now think about all the things you have to complete yet today... Does it make you tired just thinking about it? Caregiving can be physically draining; and we can easily just be physically tired. But the trouble is that it is also emotionally draining.Then we are "two" tired. Our body feels like we are dragging ourselves around to complete all the necessary tasks that must be accomplished in a day...and then we have to handle the entire situation emotionally as well. There may be better days where things go smoothly, aides show up and supplies arrive on time...but there are always those times where decisions have to be made for someone else and it can wear us down...and we become two tired- body and soul.

And then the real trouble begins when we get three tired: body, soul and spirit. Not only do we have to take care of a whole other person while trying to maintain our own health and well being we can wonder where God is in all this. (or at least I do...) And if He is here with us - why isn't He doing anything? Does it ever feel that way?

It may be time to exchange strength with Him.We know according to Isaiah that God never gets tired. And we know by our own experiences that we do!  Psalm 29 is one of my long time favorite passages because it starts in verse one with us giving God our strength. And it ends in verse eleven with Him giving us His strength. I think it works better after we complete verse one first. We must give Him our strength- as small as it may feel - and as difficult as it may be to find right now - when we gather up or muster up what little we can find and pour it out before Him in praise and thanksgiving - we will get His strength in return.

Now take a minute and find something to be thankful for - no matter how small it may seem. Once you find the first thing to be thankful for another will follow...and another...

It's all about perspective. No, we do not live in an ideal situation. It's tiring, emotional and draining and we can be two tired or we can even be three tired. (body, soul and spirit) Even though we may feel we have no control over our circumstances we can still control our hearts and minds.Today let us take time to turn our thoughts to His greatness (Isaiah 40 is a great place to start; or Genesis 1); and put our effort into purposefully finding things to thank Him for...(breath, food, children, our minds) and as we pour this out before His throne we will find that He will make a great exchange by giving us His strength instead of ours to walk through today.

A State of Mind

There is no way to describe all the things that may pass through a caregiver's mind in a given day. There are many thoughts about all the tasks that must be completed in the day, dealing with various health care personnel, as well as thoughts about the future. And there are the same daily chores of dealing with finances, work and family that non-caregivers must deal with too. If we are not careful our minds can get away from us. For many of us that may mean a lot of fear, dread or even depression. Thankfully, there is a way to defeat the types of thoughts that try to drag us down emotions first.

There is an interesting passage in Philippians 4 that has helped me keep myself in the right state of mind. Honestly, some days are easier than others because we live in a situation that doesn't have a "hold" button. There is no pausing in caregiving; some days it is literally putting one foot in front of the other to get through the day. Our minds can work against us - or we can make them help us out. Quite honestly some days it is easier to keep a positive state of mind than other days. But Philippians 4:8 instructs us to keep our minds on things that are right, pure,lovely, and good. There is always  a positive way to look at things - but it may be difficult to find it!

The interesting thing about Paul's instructions to keep our minds on good things is that it follows a key way to be able to accomplish it. Verse 6 says to let our requests be made known to God with thanksgiving. When we look about us and find things to be thankful for it will be easier to keep our minds on good and pleasant things.

Today look around you. Even though we are not in an ideal situation with pain all around and in every dimension, there are good things happening too. Let's take some time to thank God for the good things He is doing in our lives even in the midst of the storm. It may take a conscious effort to keep our minds on Him - but the peace that will guard our hearts will be worth it. Be thankful.

What Did You Say?

Do the days all start to feel the same sometimes? Each day has the same list of tasks that the caregiver has to perform. I see people glad it's Friday, or can't wait until the weekend. But most of the time one day is just like another for the caregiver and the chores really do not change much from day to day. Weekends or holidays are pretty much the same except maybe there will be no aide to help. If we are not careful we can slip into this boring existence and can live on the edge (or in the middle of) burnout. That's when we must be extra careful about what we say.

I remember when I was younger I would go visit my grandmother in the nursing home and all she would do is gripe about how we didn't come to see her often enough. Although I knew that was true it always made for a very unpleasant experience and I dreaded going to see her and sadly even avoided it when I could. Personally, I do not want to become that person. If we are not careful we can get so caught up in our cave-dwelling existence that we do not make others visits or phone calls pleasant ones.We must guard our mouths and choose to speak about pleasant things even when our hearts are hurting or lonely.

Proverbs 21:23 says this: he who guards his mouth and his tongue guards his soul from troubles. For the caregiver who may not even get to visit with others too frequently this means that whether we do actually have a visitor or not we have to watch our mouths to protect our hearts. What we allow ourselves to say can determine if our heart becomes bitter or remains tender toward God and man.

Today I will find pleasant things to speak. I'll talk about His goodness rather than my pain. I'll speak thankful words for all He has done and is doing in our lives. My heart will guard my heart today as I determine to speak peaceful words of praise. While speaking "all the right words" may not help the painful situation to go away - it can mean my journey through life's turmoil is a much more pleasant one.Today let us speak words of peace. Find someone else to encourage today - it will change your own heart.

Choose Your Attitude

As caregivers we are all in situations that do not match our dreams. Where we are today most likely was not in the plan when we were setting our life goals. Yet, we are here. Now we must deal with each day as it is given to us; and choose to make the best of it.

 Today is Thanksgiving Day. And while I could go through the list of things I wish were different, I will choose to concentrate on the things I am thankful for. I have found this practice helps me through many days. It is amazing once I start purposefully finding things to be thankful for, how my whole perspective can change. In a matter of minutes I am no longer being swept down some deep, dark emotional river. Instead I find myself taking a deep breath of air. Sometimes it's simply to remind myself that I am indeed still alive!

 But as I choose to turn my heart to one of thankfulness I find that many of my deepest concerns are carried away, perhaps in the river of doubt that wanted to wash me away!

 So today I am thankful for many things and I will choose to concentrate on those. In Psalms 10:4 the psalmist said:Enter His gates with thanksgiving and His courts with praise. Give thanks to Him, bless His name. One translation states the first part as: bring a thank offering before Him. Let us as caregivers do this today. Bring your thank offering - yourself before Him today and purposefully choose to find things to be thankful for. As you search for thankfulness to bring to Him as an offering...your whole perspective and attitude will change!

 Let Us give thanks...

With Thanksgiving...Let Your Requests Be Made Known

It is certainly that time of year that most of us like to take some time for reflective thinking and thanksgiving. It's a very good thing, of course. I have found myself lately trying to turn my heart more to one of thanksgiving when I seem overwhelmed. It does not matter how "good" of a situation we are in as caregivers, depression and sadness can just slip up on you.

 For me, I see my son how he is and miss who he was. My emotions can slip away in a heartbeat. Just like the our lives can slip away and change forever with one phone call.Well, lately when I look at my son and see him so immobile I turn my heart to thanksgiving. I make myself be thankful for anything I can think of!

 Philippians 4:6-7 says this: Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will keep your heats and your minds in Christ Jesus. I know we are talking about thanksgiving here but it is also speaking of bringing our requests to Him - just that we come in a humble attitude and make our requests known (as if He doesn't already know!) - and package it with thanksgiving.

 What's interesting is that the next verse does not say, "and you will receive everything you asked for just like you wanted." It doesn't even address the actual answer to our requests at all. It simply says that when we bring our requests to Him packaged in thanksgiving His peace will keep our hearts and minds in Christ!

 So no matter what your request is today - no matter how tumultuous the journey or how difficult the circumstance - find a place of thanksgiving in your heart. Don't waste the holiday filling up on turkey! lol! Give Thanks!

In Everything Give Thanks

This scripture is found in 1 Thessalonians5:18, someone through it out as a cliche this week so I looked it up. And can I be totally honest and say I really do not want to? And I really just can't. I cannot thank Him for the wreck my son was in that has left him impaired. I honestly, just can't do it. And the worse part is I don't care that I can't do it!

 But the other side of that is I don't think He requires me to give thanks for the injury, the damage or my son's condition that thrust me into caregiving. However, I do believe that there is a silent power that arises when we purposefully find things to be thankful for rather than gripe about. It's an attitude of thanksgiving that He's looking for...because to literally thank Him for the horrible things in life would (for me) be a lie. And I think He looks more toward an honest heart than for one who is lying just trying to make HIm happy. I really think our honesty with Him is a way to display our trust.

 Did you ever see the old classic movie Pollyanna? I am actually old enough that I read the book first! lol! Although it was just a story, this child made a conscious decision to play the glad game. And no matter what was terrible around her she found something to be glad about. I think we can make that kind of attitudinal adjustment even in our adverse situations.

 We are stressed, we're tired, we're strained...but we can make that conscious decision to thank Him for something. I am finding that to be thankful helps my whole outlook. The day is not as dreary when I go through it thanking Him for things rather than fussing about all that went wrong! So today - Thank Him!! (for something!!)

Practicing Thankfulness

It's funny how people who honestly don't know can think that because we are home all day things don't get busy or hectic for the caregiver! It's like they expect that since we are home all day we don't have a thing to do! lol! Ever heard that one?

 The truth is that it can go from slow to hectic in the matter of a couple of seconds! (..or less! lol!) Let one little thing on our daily schedule get out of sync and BAM! It's like the familiar picture of the dominoes once the chain reaction starts... and it only escalates from there...or is that a limited thing - does it only happen to me?

 Sometimes what makes my day so hectic is actually a blessing. That's when it's important to take time to be thankful for the blessing and not let the hectic scene have our attention...instead of complaining to God about all the things I need to get done before going to bed at night - I'm learning to stop and change my perspective into a thankfulness for the blessing.

 Psalms 100:4 says that giving thanks is exactly how we are to enter His gates...and Psalm 95:2 tells us to come before Him with thanksgiving...and Paul told the Philippians to make all your requests known to Him with thanksgiving. I am thinking that there should be no requests without some sort of giving of thanks...giving thanks prepares our heart for His next provision...so today - Let us simply give Him thanks!!

Oblivious to God

Everyone seems to be living very hectic lives these days - not just caregivers. It's interesting that with all our modern conveniences we actually have less time to spend with people. We have machines that wash and dry our clothes, wash the dishes and phones so we do not have to travel about to get things done. We even have the internet to pay bills and conduct business. There are microwaves to cook our meals quickly and crockpots to cook them all day! Yet we have less time it seems to be still before the Lord.

A friend sent me a scripture the other day from the message Bible and I felt it was very appropriate for the caregiver. We have so many responsibilities to do every day that we can easily become overloaded.

From Romans 13 (the Message)  - But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God. 

It is so easy to get busy with our day to day activities that we forget Him. And yet He is the One who sustains us. My encouragement today is to find just a moment...a quiet moment (and I know that they can be difficult to find), and just be still before Him. And it's a good idea from where we are to find something to thank Him for! We enter His gates with thanksgiving. So just take a moment today to acknowledge Him as your God one more time! (It'll feel great!)

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...