Daily Devotions for Caregivers

In our lives as caregivers, there can be a lot of things to complain about, right? On the most typical day, so many tiny things can go wrong. With the load we carry every single day, even the smallest things weigh so much. Something small like a dropped fork becomes a catastrophic event. Of course, this is a mild exaggeration, but it really feels that way sometimes. We can easily live on the emotional edge where every feeling can be intense. I may have discovered a way to counter some of it.  As I was taking care of Chris this morning, I found myself  finding  little things to be thankful for. Of course, I see his hands are severely contracted, but I was thankful for the little bit of movement some of his joints still have. As I continued to go through our morning routine of changing out the gauze in his hands, cleaning the feeding tube and changing its pad, and dressing, I kept purposefully looking  for things to give thanks for. A funny thing happened.... My whole ...

In Oklahoma, things are starting to make a move back toward something that vaguely resembles normal. For caregivers, it may not look much different than our "norm" anyway. But it does seem to cause a sense of uneasiness. Things are normal - but they are not. People are getting back out - but it's not the same yet. Churches are opening their doors but some are not. It's an interesting time to be alive with equally interesting things to observe, isn't it? While things seem to be getting some better in a few ways, it still feels disruptive. Who do we trust for information, if anyone? How do we know it's safe or not safe for ourselves or our loved ones. The continued uncertainty can lead to these and many more questions that don't have simple, easy answers. As thoughts were racing through my head this morning, I struggled to get a grip on them and tried to slow them down. I read a few verses here and there and then settled in Psalm 100. Enter His gates w...

Since I have finally got an aide I trust I can get out a little more when she is here. Often I run errands which go a lot faster than when I get to take Chris along with me. Last week I got to stop by a little trail and grab a quick run. As I neared the back of the loop, the path was lined on both sides with beautiful flowers. They were draping everywhere and caused me to stop and enjoy the beauty for a moment. Nature's just cool like that! As I stood there I noticed that some of the flowers had stickery edges on the leaves and on closer observation some of the plants were nearly dangerous for my bare legs. I started thinking about how things are not always as they appear and they are not always as lovely as it seems on the surface. Even though I was enjoying the beauty of the flowers there were stickers, thorns, briers and probably even snakes lurking nearby. Sometimes as a caregiver I can look around at other people's lives and think about how easy they have it or how b...

I've been spending some time trying to get myself back together. As if the caregiver doesn't already have enough on their plate - life goes on and sometimes it can feel like it's throwing repeated blows. Enough to knock many people out - but not the fearless caregiver! *smile* One thing I've found many caregivers deal with is depression. Hey, caregiving is not an easy life and it can get you down. We can't say anything about it - can't always admit it - and don't always have to deal with it; but it can be a struggle for some. For many it is a constant struggle - that includes me. When you are fighting depression, everything is heavier and it can be very difficult to get a positive perspective on anything. But this morning as I was finishing up my devotions I had something happen and I just started thanking God for the good stuff. At times, it can even be difficult to figure out where the good stuff  went. But if you look long and hard - and if you have...

I don't know about you but lately my days seem overly busy and downright crazy at times. It can be so easy to get carried away in the details of caring for another. And try making one simple  change to something as basic as a meal plan, changing a supply order or going with a new company for an aide and a snowball effect of crazy events can begin. There's a reason we can feel like we have too many irons in the fire.  We do. But they are all necessary in order to take care of ourselves and our loved ones. Caregivers have days where we are just tired. It does not change the long list of chores we have to accomplish for the day, but we can be tired before we even begin. It can be easy to get caught up in the world of caregiving and forget about ourselves. We sort of wear this caregiver's mantle because we need to. We can be that take-charge-kind-of-person it takes to get things done. Who else is going to do it, right? This morning when I arose I thought about how tired I...

 Take a second and think about all the things you did yesterday... Now think about all the things you have to complete yet today... Does it make you tired just thinking about it? Caregiving can be physically draining; and we can easily just be physically tired. But the trouble is that it is also emotionally draining.Then we are "two" tired. Our body feels like we are dragging ourselves around to complete all the necessary tasks that must be accomplished in a day...and then we have to handle the entire situation emotionally as well. There may be better days where things go smoothly, aides show up and supplies arrive on time...but there are always those times where decisions have to be made for someone else and it can wear us down...and we become two tired- body and soul. And then the real trouble begins when we get three tired: body, soul and spirit. Not only do we have to take care of a whole other person while trying to maintain our own health and well being we can wonder...

There is no way to describe all the things that may pass through a caregiver's mind in a given day. There are many thoughts about all the tasks that must be completed in the day, dealing with various health care personnel, as well as thoughts about the future. And there are the same daily chores of dealing with finances, work and family that non-caregivers must deal with too. If we are not careful our minds can get away from us. For many of us that may mean a lot of fear, dread or even depression. Thankfully, there is a way to defeat the types of thoughts that try to drag us down emotions first. There is an interesting passage in Philippians 4 that has helped me keep myself in the right state of mind. Honestly, some days are easier than others because we live in a situation that doesn't have a "hold" button. There is no pausing in caregiving; some days it is literally putting one foot in front of the other to get through the day. Our minds can work against us - or w...

Do the days all start to feel the same sometimes? Each day has the same list of tasks that the caregiver has to perform. I see people glad it's Friday, or can't wait until the weekend. But most of the time one day is just like another for the caregiver and the chores really do not change much from day to day. Weekends or holidays are pretty much the same except maybe there will be no aide to help. If we are not careful we can slip into this boring existence and can live on the edge (or in the middle of) burnout. That's when we must be extra careful about what we say. I remember when I was younger I would go visit my grandmother in the nursing home and all she would do is gripe about how we didn't come to see her often enough. Although I knew that was true it always made for a very unpleasant experience and I dreaded going to see her and sadly even avoided it when I could. Personally, I do not want to become that person. If we are not careful we can get so caught up in...

As caregivers we are all in situations that do not match our dreams. Where we are today most likely was not in the plan when we were setting our life goals. Yet, we are here. Now we must deal with each day as it is given to us; and choose to make the best of it.  Today is Thanksgiving Day. And while I could go through the list of things I wish were different, I will choose to concentrate on the things I am thankful for. I have found this practice helps me through many days. It is amazing once I start purposefully finding things to be thankful for, how my whole perspective can change. In a matter of minutes I am no longer being swept down some deep, dark emotional river. Instead I find myself taking a deep breath of air. Sometimes it's simply to remind myself that I am indeed still alive!  But as I choose to turn my heart to one of thankfulness I find that many of my deepest concerns are carried away, perhaps in the river of doubt that wanted to wash me away!  So tod...

It is certainly that time of year that most of us like to take some time for reflective thinking and thanksgiving. It's a very good thing, of course. I have found myself lately trying to turn my heart more to one of thanksgiving when I seem overwhelmed. It does not matter how "good" of a situation we are in as caregivers, depression and sadness can just slip up on you.  For me, I see my son how he is and miss who he was. My emotions can slip away in a heartbeat. Just like the our lives can slip away and change forever with one phone call.Well, lately when I look at my son and see him so immobile I turn my heart to thanksgiving. I make myself be thankful for anything I can think of!  Philippians 4:6-7 says this: Be anxious for nothing but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God.And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will keep your heats and your minds in Christ Jesus. I know we are talking abo...

This scripture is found in 1 Thessalonians5:18, someone through it out as a cliche this week so I looked it up. And can I be totally honest and say I really do not want to? And I really just can't. I cannot thank Him for the wreck my son was in that has left him impaired. I honestly, just can't do it. And the worse part is I don't care that I can't do it!  But the other side of that is I don't think He requires me to give thanks for the injury, the damage or my son's condition that thrust me into caregiving. However, I do believe that there is a silent power that arises when we purposefully find things to be thankful for rather than gripe about. It's an attitude of thanksgiving that He's looking for...because to literally thank Him for the horrible things in life would (for me) be a lie. And I think He looks more toward an honest heart than for one who is lying just trying to make HIm happy. I really think our honesty with Him is a way ...

It's funny how people who honestly don't know can think that because we are home all day things don't get busy or hectic for the caregiver! It's like they expect that since we are home all day we don't have a thing to do! lol! Ever heard that one?  The truth is that it can go from slow to hectic in the matter of a couple of seconds! (..or less! lol!) Let one little thing on our daily schedule get out of sync and BAM! It's like the familiar picture of the dominoes once the chain reaction starts... and it only escalates from there...or is that a limited thing - does it only happen to me?  Sometimes what makes my day so hectic is actually a blessing. That's when it's important to take time to be thankful for the blessing and not let the hectic scene have our attention...instead of complaining to God about all the things I need to get done before going to bed at night - I'm learning to stop and change my perspective into a thankfulness for the bless...

Everyone seems to be living very hectic lives these days - not just caregivers. It's interesting that with all our modern conveniences we actually have less time to spend with people. We have machines that wash and dry our clothes, wash the dishes and phones so we do not have to travel about to get things done. We even have the internet to pay bills and conduct business. There are microwaves to cook our meals quickly and crockpots to cook them all day! Yet we have less time it seems to be still before the Lord. A friend sent me a scripture the other day from the message Bible and I felt it was very appropriate for the caregiver. We have so many responsibilities to do every day that we can easily become overloaded. From Romans 13 (the Message)  - But make sure that you don't get so absorbed and exhausted in taking care of all your day-by-day obligations that you lose track of the time and doze off, oblivious to God.  It is so easy to get busy with our day to day activitie...