Showing posts with label forsaken. Show all posts
Showing posts with label forsaken. Show all posts

So Easily Forgotten

chris and mom
Yesterday, a post by a friend got me to thinking. (That's not unusual, and it's very easy to do.) They stated how they are dealing with a serious condition and how lonely they were feeling. As their condition had progressed and they were sent home from the hospital, visitors waned until they were left all alone to deal with their own emotions and thoughts. Not only do those in these situations have to sort through such a wide range of emotional changes, fears, thoughts, and decisions - on top of all that they are left to deal with the loneliness of being forgotten.

Those on the outside don't always see it that way. They would quickly say, Oh, you're not forgotten. I think of you all the time. I pray for you daily. But this doesn't erase or dilute the sinking alone-ness that the ill or caregivers deal with.

Reading her post reminded me of the day I was informed of my son's wreck. I had to fly from Chicago where I was living to Shreveport, LA where he had been medi-flighted earlier that day. When I finally got there after an all-day ordeal, the ICU waiting room was still full of people. For the three weeks he was in ICU there was a constant flow of people in and out. Once we moved into an isolation room on the regular floor, visitors became fewer. Then even less came when we finally transitioned to a nursing home 4 months later.

After we finally made it "home" (which had to be recreated since I'd been headed to the mission field) there was no one. As if we were fine now. Today, even when we are in the hospital there are few visitors if any at all. It's like everyone thinks you are okay now that the initial crisis or initial diagnosis is over. But that's not really the truth. Caregivers live in crisis mode, we just adjusted - nothing went away.

Since God knows everything, we can assume He knew we would have those times when we feel forgotten, forsaken and all alone. Those times just come as caregivers. It's easy to feel like we have the weight of the world on our shoulders because we sort of do - on behalf of another.

The scripture, When my father and mother forsake me, then the Lord will take care of me is nestled in an interesting passage. I'm going to assume for clarity's sake that he's speaking of when his parents pass away. He precedes the thought with do not hide Your face from me, do not turn Your servant away in anger, You have been my help. Do not leave me or forsake me. What a plea for God's ever abiding presence to remain. Then the acknowledgment that even if his parents forsake him, he knows God has him. He follows it all with teach me Your way O Lord.

I then turned my thoughts to this verse in Isaiah 49:15 God asks the prophet, Can a woman forget her nursing child and have no compassion on the son of her womb? The obvious answer is no. It's not natural to forget or neglect a child. But God follows the question, which He didn't ask just to receive information with Even these may forget, but I will not forget you. What a promise!!

We can feel so easily forgotten, forsaken and like we are having to forge through caregiving on our own. But He sees. He knows. He will never forget or forsake. He draws near and answers our unspoken prayers, fears, cares and cries with a simple I am here. 

Today, I will meditate on His nearness, whether I feel Him or not. I'll turn my thoughts away from the crowds who left to the One who stays. I'll be thankful for that and trust Him just for today. Will you join me?

Where did He Go?

I'm taking comfort today from the fact that God is not only with me - but He cannot leave me. If we are honest, as caregivers we do experience those times that we feel like He has abandoned us altogether. But today I have been thinking about the fact that it is literally impossible for Him to leave us. After all, where would He go? We can at least understand the basic concept of His omnipresence with our finite minds. This means that He is literally everywhere so that leaves nowhere for Him to go. He really cannot leave us so there are no truer words spoken than Hebrews 13:5b - I will never leave or forsake you.

But these words go back way before the author of Hebrews reiterated them. They were spoken to Moses in Deuteronomy 31. And then God reminded Joshua in the first chapter that He would not leave. Today this means a lot to me. On one hand I can understand that God cannot leave me - it's an impossibility. On the other His words to his children in Deuteronomy, Joshua and Hebrews to me mean that even if He could He would not leave! He's committed to us for the long haul.

Today my meditation will be not so much on the fact that He is with me - as the truth that He chooses to be with me. There is a stark difference between someone who is just committed to being with you and sticks it out because of that commitment and one who chooses to be with you for good no matter what might come.

This day I will recall to mind God's unchangeable presence that is walking with me through this storm and continues to abide with me. Today I'm going to rest in Him and enjoy His presence. Will you join me?

An Old Familiar Psalm

It is very important for caregivers to try to find the positive things to rejoice in each day. We can rejoice in any small improvement in our loved one we are caring for, be glad the aide actually showed up to help, rejoice that at least the few necessities that are provided and covered by insurance showed up, or be thankful for a call or visit from a friend. Although the battle can be difficult, small things can help lighten our load on many days.

There are those days where we just struggle - with everything. And some days we just get through. After a series of days, weeks, months of just trying to get through yesterday one of my favorite worship leaders posted a new song he had written. It is called, "When I Worship You." It was the song of the day for sure. I played it over and over. It's on the front page of his website if you want to check it out: www.dennisjernigan.com

The phrase that stuck out to me yesterday was about Him being with me. Somehow that simple thought not only stuck with me, but really helped carry me through the day. It reminded me of a very familiar psalm. Psalm 23 contains a verse that says, Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me. (That's old KJV there!) He is the constant in my fluctuating day-to-day life. No matter how dark, or how light the valley grows - He is with me. I may be crying one minute and laughing the next, good news with one phone call and bad with the next - but He is with me.

Today just meditate on the fact that He has not left us in the storm. He is the only constant in our lives and He chooses to stay with us. A phrase in one of my favorite choruses says:

 I can't comprehend His vast presence 
as heaven and earth He does fill
Yet His choice of habitation
is in a heart that is still...
Today, let us remember that He will not leave us unarmed, or alone. He is walking through this furnace with us...and if you get a chance go watch that video by DJ. It's the worship song of the day!

Tender Nurturing

Being a full time caregiver is a tough job. There are many days we may only hear our own voice. Some days we can get out - but many days we are sitting staring at the same four walls. Sure, whenever our personal "tragedy" happened (whatever form it took) there were tons of people around. All or most of them assuring us they would walk it with us. But gradually, they all go about their lives and leave us to suffer in ours.

I don't blame anyone for that...they meant well and probably genuinely cared. But then when it came to the reality of the circumstances they didn't know how to incorporate us back into their lives as everything had changed. Well, it does hurt some - but no reason to be angry or take it personal. From what I understand it's just the way it is. It's always happened this way for everyone! So we are not so special! lol...

The psalmist cited in Psalm 27:10 that even though my father and mother forsake me ...the Lord will take me up. And what's He going to do with us? Isaiah 40:11 - He will tend His flock, in His arms He will gather the lambs and carry them in His bosom; He will gently lead the nursing ewes. I'd like to think of caregivers as nursing ewes. That is the nurturing side of us. I had never seen myself as a gentle nurturer before my son's accident. But I recognize those qualities now. And God is doing the same for us that we are doing for someone else...that's amazing! He is tenderly caring for us in our most painful situations...that's just too cool...I can rest in that!

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...