Showing posts with label fire. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fire. Show all posts

The What Ifs....

Sorry for my absence. To say I am a bit overwhelmed is well, a huge understatement. I just thought my son kept me busy, add my aunt in the mix and things like aides not showing up AGAIN, and I barely have time to breathe. I remind myself to do so often though. lol

One of the things I never question is the power of prayer. If you've read along you know I harp on faith a lot - the fact that it is really what carries us through adversity rather than helping us avoid them. Prayer has been redefined similarly on this journey. It's not just a way to get what I want as much as sometimes I wish it was.

I was thinking about prayer, what it is, and what it is not this morning. Even though I have purposefully separated myself from God on occasion as I tried to deal with frustration, trusting Him, the lack of answers, and the heat of the battle - There is nothing dark enough or deep enough to separate our prayers from His ears.

Then the trouble becomes why it seems He doesn't do anything in response. I wonder if Joseph cried out to Him day after day sitting in a dark, dank prison waiting for God's promise to manifest. How many years did Moses pray as he led God's children across the desert towards the promised land? Sometimes I think prayer isn't about getting an answer for ourselves, it's more about the communion. It's about having a constant companion who is moved by our grief and pain. He listens to us even when we sound like babbling babies in His ears.

It's not so much about getting what we want... it's about talking to Him all the way through the what ifs.....


  • What if He doesn't give me the answer I desire?
  • What if the situation gets worse instead of better?
  • What if He says "no"!
  • What if the money's not there...
  • What if no help comes..
  • What if this had never happened?
  • What if What if What if...
His ears will stand the what ifs. He still desires to talk with us one on one - and as we mature in a relationship with Him the conversation moves beyond our daily needs and wants. We begin to sense who He really is - way beyond our limitations in this life. He is with us - He doesn't carry us around adversity - He walks with us through it.

When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
And through the rivers, they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire, you will not be scorched,
Nor will the flame burn you.

Today, I will turn my thoughts to His sustaining power. I'll meditate on the "going through" part rather than the avoiding parts. I will rejoice that He won't abandon me anywhere along the way (even when I act like a brat....) I will trust Him for one more day - will you join me?

I'm not Stuck - I'm Going Through

I have read story after story by caregivers who feel like they are carrying the responsibility all alone; and in too many cases, they are. Caregiving can be a lonely walk. Not only are there limitations when it comes to outings, friends don't really know what to do with your new lifestyle either. They don't realize that your likes and dislikes didn't change when you became a caregiver. Did you like playing cards or going to movies before caregiving? Then it is likely that you still do. But sometimes those outings are no longer practical and in some cases they are not possible. You are the same person but your social scene may have changed. This can add to the loneliness that many caregivers experience.

The good news is that even when you feel all alone - you are not. I find myself returning to a favorite passage in Isaiah 43. It says something like this:

When you pass through the waters
I will be with you;
And through the rivers,
they will not overflow you.
When you walk through the fire
you will not be scorched,
nor will the flame burn you.
For I am the Lord your God...

Caregiving can become a heavy load if we carry it all alone; and we can feel like we are going down for the third time. And realistically, there is a lot to fear. My own fears have involved things like making financial decisions, medical decisions and a whole host of decisions all made for someone else and affecting others. What if I make the wrong decision? It can be a vicious cycle. The good thing is that we are not going through all alone. God is with us!

Notice in Isaiah each phrase includes the word, "through." It doesn't say you are stuck in the water or the fire but when you go through the trials. We are not stuck and we are not going through all alone. He is with us.

This makes me think of Psalm 23:4 where David says even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death - I will fear no evil.  Why? Because You are with me. 

Today I will meditate on the fact that God has not left me hanging in the midst of the trial. He is walking it through with me. I will remind myself that God is with me on this journey and sometimes - He has to carry me. Today I will think about relying more on His strength and less on my own - because quite frankly, mine runs out. Will you join me?

Sharing Grace

One of the things caregivers can miss the most is just living. That spontaneity of being able to decide on a moment's notice that you want to go to a movie, or run to the mall. The caregiver most times really does not have that option. We can miss the things we used to enjoy, like hiking or shopping; or just going to church. For the most part we finally get used to just staying home - but that doesn't mean our freedom isn't missed.

Somehow for me, when I can find someone in scripture who I at least think understands in some measure it can bring peace. Paul made what I feel is a very interesting statement in Acts 20:22-24. He said that Holy Spirit had told him that he was going to face afflictions and imprisonment in every city. He didn't hang his head and cry about all his losses (like I do!); he said this instead: But I do not account my life of any value nor as precious to myself, if only I may finish my course and the ministry that I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God. 

Now most of us did not know what was coming - and some have an idea. It can be difficult in the struggle to figure out why He called us to begin with and some who were in ministry before can feel as though they have been stripped and a lot of it does not make sense anymore. But God doesn't change His mind. It may just look a lot different than it did BC (before caregiving).

Paul continued to share the grace of God even though he found himself in prison. What better way to share how His grace is carrying us through - than right here from the midst of the fiery storm? It can be so easy to get underneath the heavy load and lose our focus. But what if we saw every phone call, every person who comes to help, or to visit as an opportunity to share His grace? Today that will be my focus, I will look at every encounter as an opportunity...will you?

Looking for Some Shade...

Last summer was the hottest summer ever on record in Oklahoma. The temperature was over 100 degrees for more than 60 days. Sorry I don't remember the exact number of days, but it was a very long time, trust me!  It was smothering hot and the times of day that should bring relief like early in the morning - just weren't working right. It was hot; and it was hot all the time.

When I saw this scripture from Isaiah 25:4 I understood it a little better. The prophet says For You have been a defense for the helpless, a defense for the needy in his distress, a refuge from the storm, a shade from the heat....

 When it is so hot outside you can barely breathe, it is great to be able to sit in the shade for a few minutes. You really cannot do much more than that since it's so hot. Many people get very sick when they get too hot; so it's best to just sit and be still when it gets hot outside.

 For the caregiver - it can seem hot all the time due to the intensity of our trial. We are furnace walkers, as one of my friends put it. We live in the hot! The trial can wear away at us if we are not very careful. I will be the first to admit I am needy! I am helpless! I need His protection just to breathe some days. We carry a lot....every day. We each have our own lists of all the areas we have to fight through every day - medical issues, feeding, money matters... don't we?

 But no matter what struggles are present in our own personal furnace - He is a refuge for all! Today is a good day to trust Him. It's okay to tell God you feel helpless, defenseless, or needy. (hint: He knows it anyway!) It is not a sign of weakness to need Him! Today let's concentrate on how we need Him to be our strength, our shelter, protection and shield. And then...let's let Him...

Good Days N Bad Days

Life is made up of a series of good and bad days. Without either one it would be one boring journey. Think about your life if every day offered exactly the same emotions, feelings and happenings as the last. There was a movie about one day repeating itself over and over one time!

It's no different for the caregiver. Each day brings events that may range all the way from exhilarating to depressing. The irony of it is that we have to deal with that whole range of emotions, sometimes all in one day, while still fulfilling our roles as caregivers!

Our favorite Bible characters were no different. The Bible doesn't contain stories of super human people, some more progressive race of people. It is all about people just like you and me who dealt with their everyday lives just like we do today. But it tells us of how many of them stood through life as they endured their series of good and bad days.

I don't think Gideon was thinking about how good of a day he was having while having to hide to thrash wheat to provide for his family. David didn't seem to be having all good days while he was running from cave to cave hiding from Saul. We have to remember that God spared the three Hebrew children in the fire  not from it! Daniel did get thrown in the lion's den not kept out of it.

Our Bible heroes went through  something - or there would be no story to tell. The marvel isn't that they were spared hardship but rather that the stood in the midst of the trial. I'm not sure my story would be as faith-filled as theirs, but I do want the end to be that I stood through the storm rather than bending beneath the load. Today, remind yourself of your favorite Bible story and character. Think about what they went through that makes their story of faith so intriguing. Rest in the arms of the same God who carried them through as you realize He will carry you through (not always around) just as well as He carried them.

The Stare

  Do you ever just find yourself sitting and staring at the wall? It doesn't really happen too often because, quite frankly, who has tim...