Daily Devotions for Caregivers

This morning, I was working on my latest devotional 31 Days in Psalm 31  which I hope to complete and have in my bookstore by the end of the month. There are so many things in this one psalm and I've read it so much my Bible falls open to it automatically now. lol. I was thinking about fear, grief, hurt, and the dark night of the soul. Caregiving can be an emotional roller coaster. Sure, there are those caregiver moments like when my son actually hugged me the other evening. Those moments erase a ton of pain. They make it all worth it. But they are not lasting and it's back to the day-to-day grind. As I was working on the devotional, I took a look at Job again. His story intrigues me. He took all the overwhelming pain and turned it into worship. It wasn't about a congregational song on Sunday morning, he wasn't sitting out back playing his guitar, and no Kumbaya around the campfire either. He took his deepest grief and pain and he worshipped.   Like David in Psalm

While it is a joy and an honor to take care of our loved ones, there is a very painful side to caregiving. Our hearts hurt on many levels. Personally, I grieve the loss of my son and all he could have become. I also grieve the loss of my mom - who she was before dementia. And now, as life has brought more change, I grieve for my daddy who is struggling with this part of life too. He has spent over 50 years with mama - she has been his life. Much like my son, she is still here  but gone. Last night I called my mom's sister to explain the new arrangements with mom. She didn't take it too well. She is grieving her loss of mobility as she is barely getting around with a walker at 87 and is needing more constant care. Can I say, my heart hurts? People are mostly gracious and compassionate to caregivers. But there are times when you are looked down on as if you don't have faith - or you wouldn't be in this situation. I have felt this from church-like folks many times. T

When my son was first injured and we were living in the hospital, I knew I had to find a way to get adequate exercise so I took up running. I thought it was an inexpensive sport that I could virtually do anywhere. It's been sort of a lifeline for me over the years. Running has become what I do  to deal with the difficulty of caregiving. It helps me physically but it also helps me beat depression and clears my brain. It's really about the only thing I do, and the only reason I get out.  Yesterday, I ran my 16th half marathon. I proudly added my finisher's medal to my overloaded rack on the wall. But I had something happen during my race that had to do with caregiving. As I neared mile 5 of the course there was a drumline playing. It totally caught me off guard. My son was the drum caption and the center snare for his college drumline before his accident. Seeing a drumline live brought back a flood of memories and I collapsed in tears. Eventually, I gathered myself and cont

The first couple of chapters of Exodus contains two things that I have found very interesting. In the first chapter  I found it interesting that the midwives were directly blessed by God for disobeying Pharaoh. Verse 21 state that they feared God and He established households for them.   Even though it was a very tough time for them and their people, they continued to trust and fear the Lord rather than caving in to man's evil commands. In chapter 2 we read about the birth of Moses and how his mother protected him until he was found by Pharaoh's daughter in a basket in the Nile. Those who are familiar with scripture know that as the story unfolds, Moses becomes the deliverer who God uses to take His children out of Egypt's bondage and into the promised land. This time of great adversity  became a door of hope  for the Children of Israel. The caregiver's life can be filled with adversity and some days every breath can be a struggle. But there's a scripture in Hos

Maybe it is just Western believers who take scriptures apart and use the sections we like and ignore the rest. Over the last 4 years of caregiving I have "found' pieces of scriptures which have been somewhat ignored. Perhaps because it does not match our own theology. Somewhere along the church-y path it seems we were indirectly (I hope not directly) taught that pain was wrong - even a sin. Maybe no one said it, but various things led me to interpret sermons to mean that pain was not acceptable. When's the last time you heard a sermon on how to handle those pains in your heart? The soul pains that the caregiver suffer are deep and oftentimes unexpressed, because we indirectly are led to believe that they are taboo. We even ignore books of the Bible that don't match our anti-pain theologies. When is the last time you heard a sermon from Lamentations? Right. Because the prophet penned that book when he was in intense pain for the losses he saw his people, God's pe

It can be way too easy to let the pain of each day have our focus; but it does not have to be that way. Starting in the morning we can begin to shift our thoughts to Him and away from our circumstances. I'm not trying to minimize the pain that a day brings as for many caregivers, as well as those who are being cared for because of chronic or serious conditions, the pain of the circumstance can be almost unbearable. Quite honestly, some days we do not have the energy to let pain have our attention as we spend the day taking care of the needs of our loved one. But each day hurts. If we are not careful our thoughts will major on things that we are missing instead of what we have - life. And not just life - but life in Him. We can chose to celebrate that life in Him from any circumstance. As believers we understand the concept of hiding in Him. Psalm 91 talks about hiding in the secret place  of the Most High; and Psalm 46:1 speaks of the Lord being a very present help in trouble a

Have you ever just wanted to give up? I mean, face it  - life can be tough especially when you are faced with daily challenges and adversity. But if giving up was a real option - What would you give up to? We really are not alone when we've had all we think we can handle. For many of my acquaintances our days are filled with pain in one way or another. Some of my friends live in constant physical pain and then there are many who like me, and other caregivers, have this nagging emotional pain that does not ever go away. Either way it's pain on a very high level.And there are days it does not seem worth it to go on. We are not alone! In Jeremiah 20 we find that he had been beaten and placed in prison in stocks - only for speaking God's words. He must have been in every kind of pain imaginable. His body hurt from the intense beating, his soul hurt and even his spirit was in pain as he cried out I will not remember Him or speak anymore in His name ...Jeremiah really wanted

Many times as caregivers, we walk around in a painful numbness. Are you familiar with it? It's like everything hurts until we go numb on the inside, but it still hurts. (You really won't be able to understand that unless you've walked it!) Of course, stopping for a day is not an option for many so we continue putting one foot in front of the other, continuing through the tasks that each day demands. That's not a complaint - just the way it is. So what do you do when the situation is overbearing? When you are overwhelmed with the day? I think Psalm 61 can help out a little. I found myself singing it to my son last night. The psalmist says Hear my cry O God; give heed to my prayer. From the ends of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint, lead me to the rock that is higher than I. For you have been a refuge for me, a tower of strength against the enemy. There really is faith in crying out to Him. Last night the part that really stood out in my mind was the c

Life brings us many days filled with many things. Living in the furnace (of caregiving) can get hot and stay hot. Sometimes that is the most difficult part - the fact that there is no real relief. Getting out for a few hours can bring a little relief, and much needed breaks - but then we still have to come back to an unchanging furnace. What a trial of faith... yet we just keep going; putting one foot in front of the other. Isn't that what it's all about? Just keeping on moving no matter what comes our way - no matter what our days look like - no matter what we must face today...that's faith.  We are to be examples of faith and believing even in the furnace. Actually, without the furnace to try our faith we would not be able to recognize it as such. Having faith means that we do keep going no matter what we see, no matter what we feel, no matter what is going on around us. We just continue to stand...because we have Holy Spirit in us to strengthen us and carry us on thro

Early in the mornings I go in and feed my son through his peg tube, change him and get him comfortable. Shortly after that he usually goes off into a deep sleep; a restful sleep. I checked on him just before starting to write this morning and he was out ! I thought, he's getting good, restful sleep...healing rest. I figure that when he is sleeping real good and letting his mind and body rest that he is healing. We know rest and healing are connected.  What does that mean to the caregiver? Because as a caregiver, we have pain every day. It never real goes away because we are dealing with a stressful, painful situation all the time; so it hurts all the time. We see our loved one not able to function fully on their own and to need help with simple, daily living skills. They are not who they were and in my case I grieve a lot over the loss of my son - even though he is still here. Yet he's not still here - not like he was. And as we walk out each day, each step along the way

No doubt life brings many wounds, I don't think anyone would argue with that. Many times they even come through well meaning (and not so well meaning ) friends! But then for the caregiver sometimes life just hurts! This is where I was this morning when I woke up. There were tons of questions flooding my heart and mind and not one answer to be found. And it just hurts. There are so many whys and why not s. It can all be so frustrating and painful at the same time! But while I was thinking and trying to find answers I realized that I just simply need Him. And I really can't work through it without Him. And so these lyrics came into my mind and I wrote them down. Within a few minutes I had a song written entitled simply, Holy Spirit I Need You. Here's the lyrics and you can see the video on my facebook page if you want. Holy Spirit I Need You to come touch my heart and make it brand new without You I really don't know what to do but I know I'm in desperate need

Recently I watched a very inspiring video. A college student hit her first ever home run but tore something in her knee and couldn't make it past first base. The other runners ran for home but she was stranded on first. Her team couldn't help her because it would forfeit the run and make it only a two run single. A couple of young ladies on the other team picked her up and carried her across the rest of the bases to home plate! I was so inspired...then I started thinking about it...I've been in this pain (which can be immobilizing at time for the cargiver) for 2 and a half years. What if I cannot get past a "first base" that may come up in our lives? Who would carry me to the goal? In the video it was the opposing team's members who carried her. Now you know, our opponent is Satan and he ain't gonna help us out in the least! lol! But when I am wounded, or hurting, or can't go on... Who's gonna carry me? The church disappeared a short way into t