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Showing posts with the label love

A Story to Tell

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  This is my second attempt to do the blog post today! I had one about half-written. It was all about something that happened to me this week. It was a good thing - a great thing really. But I stopped. I thought  I don't need to tell my story - I need to tell His story. As interesting as "my story" and your story may be, it really all comes down to His story - not ours. Instead of giving you all the details of my life - I'd rather be talking about how He gives life. God is so good at it that He breathes life into so many circumstances, relationships, thoughts, dreams, visions, even ideas long thought dead. We've seen Him do it over and over again. Just when we think we cannot possibly take one.more.step. He breathes. He glances our way. He touches us with His strength, mercy, and love, and all of a sudden we have what we need for that part of our journies. Instead of focusing on my shortcomings and failures, for they are many, I can shout out loud about the grace

No Response

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What's on my mind this morning is not something new, I've talked about it a lot. You know as caregivers, we learn so much about caregiving, about life, about ourselves on this journey. I'm still learning about the depth of the love of God. I've said it before, but it bears saying again that I understand just a small piece of God's unfailing love for us. I remember standing by my son's bed one day and realizing it was a deep, intense love that held me there. I understood that it was that same love that held Christ on the cross for me, for you. Some may question it - and I don't think it will ever be understood. I'm talking about how we can love someone who cannot reciprocate openly. Maybe they cannot express it, but you know they love you. In some cases, those who have dementia or other issues like my mom become different. Often they are combative or very NOT loving. But we love anyway. I think about the way God loves us even when we can't rec

Recalculating

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I think the only constant in life is the fact that change is constant. Just about the time we get where we are figured out and we settle in for the long haul, one little thing shifts. That catapults us into a new dimension it seems and we have to recalculate to proceed. I think about the GPS and when we make a wrong turn or miss an exit it so nicely says recalculating route.  Lol. Some days it feels like I do that every hour or so. I really thrive in structure, but that was one of the first things to go when I became a caregiver. Honestly, that may have been one of the biggest adjustments I have had to make. Each day brings totally different circumstances to be recalculated. Although it's been difficult, I've found a way to adapt to the constant changes. Like now. I'm writing the blog a bit later today and allowing Chris to sleep. That's so hard for me, but I overslept. Since we've come home from the hospital last week we've both been exhausted. Maybe I

Yet He Remains Faithful

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Last night as I was going through our bedtime rituals. I just stopped and looked at my son. He was lying down, resting and soon to fall asleep. I think all mothers like to watch their kids sleep. I just stood there by his bed and let my mind wander a bit. I thought about our journey and all we've come through to this point.  And I rehearsed some of my fears of what may happen when I get my ticket out of this place called time - or I get too old to care for him. The thought of him being left in a home made me shutter. I thought of the people we met along the way and the ones I saw literally, just walk away. It's never been in me to do that. I thought of how much I love my son and how that holds me at his side no matter what. I felt the bond between us strengthen as I grabbed hold tighter with my heart. It made me more determined to be sure things are in order so he doesn't ever have to feel abandoned. I can't imagine putting him somewhere and walking away. In that

The Easy Stuff

It can be quite the battle to keep from being cynical or hard for lots of people these days, but especially for those who are in a constant daily struggle. We can wonder where God is and if He is still watching us why some things happen. And add to that being abandoned by people we loved and trusted and you have the makings of an emotional mess. Then on top of all that - we have to deal with the crazy health system; some people who are just doing a job with no heart and some who are not even doing the job part! It can be so easy to just feel like we are mad at everyone and if we are not careful we can turn our "expectors" off...it's easier that way. In the midst of all the struggles we must endure each day there are times when we can feel like we suffer great loss. The lives we used to know and enjoy have passed away and many are prisoners in their own home...or that's the way it feels sometimes. Some days we count these losses; others we adjust and smile and just t

When Others Don't Understand

Many people really do not understand the life of a caregiver. Of course, they should not be expected to if they have not lived it themselves. It puts a strain on every part of your being: body, soul and spirit. Some days are emotionally draining and many times there are many physical challenges for us as well. But as each day unfolds before us, we simply press on. In my personal blog I spoke of the three things that will always remain: faith, hope and love. They will not fail us. (I Corinthians 13:13) (www.macdingolinger.wordpress.com)  As we have learned to embrace these three elements and let them carry us through we do some things that others just cannot understand. Like the nameless woman in Mark 14. She entered where Jesus and His disciples were dining and poured some very expensive perfume on his head. Everyone got mad, because they didn't understand ...why would she waste the expensive perfume anointing Jesus? It could have been sold ....  But Jesus told the disciples i

Separation Anxiety

Sometimes there is this huge mental struggle because religion is so works oriented. Maybe it's just me, but there are times I struggle with if He loves me enough...It sounds wrong I know. But we can read through the gospels and see all the miracles Jesus did for others..maybe I'm the only one who wonders why He doesn't come riding in on His white horse for me.  Even the Old Testament is full of various displays of His miraculous powers. Yet my loved one still suffers. And I cannot help but wonder if He loved others more...But then (my busy mind) immediately jumps to what I would do if He miraculously healed my son. How would I explain to someone else that He loves them as much? All this crazy thinking lead me straight to Romans 8. It's a long time favorite isn't it? We quickly quote that nothing can separate us from His love. But sometimes during tribulation it's easy to wonder...But a quick look at Paul's discussion is quite revealing. We can grab the

Puffed up Know-it-alls

Don't you just love the conversations that you have with people who act like they know it all? Usually the conversation doesn't get very far because the who know it all can't see past their limited knowledge to hold a true challenging conversation!  Well, as I was studying this morning this short passage jumped out at me for a couple of reasons. It's actually in the context of Paul's instructions about eating meat that is sacrificed to idols. And then it seems he takes a little rabbit trail when he says the words in these three verses:   Now let's talk about food that has been sacrificed to idols You think that everyone should agree with your perfect knowledge. While knowledge may make us feel important, it is love that really builds up the church  Anyone who claims to know all the answers really doesn't know very much.  But t he person who loves God is the one God knows and cares for .   (1 Corinthians 8:1-3 NLT) I found the first part about the kno

Back to Basics

Emotions can run high for many caregivers. We keep them all stretched out all the time. When things like recent natural events like the tornadoes in Alabama occur it seems to stir them up even more than usual. For me - I cannot even watch real intense movies or TV shows because the emotions are simply too raw most of the time. The emotional strain of caregiving can be very overwhelming - and difficult to control. Then add in a terrible tragedy like the recent devastating tornadoes and they can be difficult to get it all balanced and manageable again. During the times that emotions are running so high it can also be difficult to find something solid to cling to. We know the Lord is our rock, our refuge and our constant hiding place but when the world is falling apart we need something to hold on to while we are hiding in Him! These are the times we may find it beneficial to go back to what I call the basics. The most basic truth we learn as Christians is God's unfailing love . N